I've read so many of these, and I just couldn't keep myself from making my own.
100 Ways to Annoy Voldemort Into Making Stupid Mistakes So Harry Can Finally Kill Him
100. Tell him he needs to get some sun because he's 'looking a little pale'
99. Critique his evil laugh
98. Draw a smiley face on the back of his head while he's sleeping and tell everyone that it's Quirrell
97. Bring your pet mongoose to the next meeting and say 'Nagini looked so lonely the last time I was here, so I thought I'd bring my mongoose here to play hide and seek with her'.
96. Ask him if he's related to Lex Luther. When he asks why you asked, say 'because you look so much alike; you're both bald'.
95. Buy him wigs for Christmas, and wrap them in shiny red paper with gold bows.
94. Give him red and gold robes for his birthday because 'they'll bring out the color of your eyes'.
93. Give his a gift certificate to a tanning salon.
92. Buy him a mail order bride from a country in Asia.
91. Make sure that she's a Muggle
90. Ask if Harry Potter is his secret lovechild because Harry looks so much like he did at that age.
89. Make up really elaborate plans to kidnap and kill Harry Potter involving: red roses, your pet mongoose, super glue, bubble gum, a Taylor Hicks CD, a photo of Snape naked, and your best friend's step-mother's ex-boyfriend's cousin twice removed on his mother's side's pet canary.
88. Formally adopt him so he can finally get a mother's love.
87. Tell him that Bellatrix wants to have a threesome with him and Dumbldore.
86. Tell him that Lucius wants to have a threesome with him and Wormtail.
85. Tell him that Wormtail has been taking photos of him during bath time and selling them on Ebay.
84. Give him a hickey.
83. Bribe Rita Skeeter into giving him a hickey.
82. In front of the Inner Circle, dare him to kiss a kitten.
81. In front of Harry Potter, double-dare him to kiss Hermione Granger.
80. When he refuses, scream as loudly as you can in an imitation of Dudley, "But Daddy! I want to see you kiss the pretty lady!"
79. Buy all the stock of Grunnings, and invite the Dursleys to a formal dinner with Lord Voldemort. While eating dinner with them, gush about how much they have in common with each other.
78. Tell him that Luna Lovegood is his biggest fan, bought all the photos of him from Ebay, and has written him a sonnet about how sweet he is and how she wants to snog him under the mistletoe regardless of Nargles.
77. Get Luna to write and mail him that sonnet.
76. Be sure that it includes the phrases: 'hotter than Orlando Bloom', 'as cute as a button', and last but not least 'I love you, you sexist egotistical lying hypocritical bigot'.
75. Send him a singing valentine (using one of Lockharts dwarves) that says, 'your skin is as pasty as new-curdled milk'.
74. Hold a mock funeral for your dead goldfish and insist that he say the prayer.
73. Name your new goldfish after him, and ask him to be its godfather.
72. Quote the Godfather to him.
71. Tell him he needs to 'go to the mattresses' with Harry Potter.
70. When Bellatrix asks what you mean, say quite solemnly that the sexual tension between Voldemort and Harry needs to be resolved.
69. Ask him if he feels bad that Ginny 'broke up' with him to be with Harry.
68. Give him the number to a suicide hotline.
67. Tell him that he's too skinny and then proceed to feed him the way Molly Weasley feeds Harry.
66. Check him into a clinic claming that he has anorexia.
65. When he is released, take him to a Weight Watchers meeting.
64. Buy him some Rogaine.
63. During one of his rants, just as he's about to Crucio someone, ask him if he is PMSing.
62. Bring him some chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, a box of Kleenex, maxi pads, and 'Somewhere in Time' the next day.
61. Take him to an exorcist in order to 'remove the demon that controls him'.
60. Tell him that it was Crabbe Sr.'s idea.
59. Blow kisses at him during the next revel.
58. As you were wearing your mask, tell him that Narcissa did it.
57. Embroider little pink rosettes onto his black silk robes, and say that you only did it to give him some variety in his wardrobe.
56. Ask to see his Patronus.
55. When he is unable to cast the charm, tell him that 'it's okay…Harry Potter took a few months to learn it in his third year'.
54. Tell him that all he needs to do in order to fly without a broom is sprinkle on a little pixie dust and think happy thoughts.
53. Tell him that Voldemort doesn't sound nearly as threatening as Captain Hook.
52. Tell him that he would look 'totally awesome' with a hook for a hand.
51. Tell him that you sent Harry a birthday card and signed his name to it.
50. Take him trick-or-treating on Halloween.
49. Slip some anti-depressants into his morning tea.
48. Offer to do his makeup for the final battle, so when Colin gets his pictures developed, his eyes and lips will 'just pop'.
47. Insist on cherry flavored lip gloss.
46. Place the Imperius on Trelawney and tell her to 'French him'.
45. Start singing 'All You Need Is Love' whenever he enters a room, and tell him it's his theme song.
44. When he battles Harry and Priori Incantatum occurs, say as loudly as possible, 'Ooh look at all the pretty lights'.
43. Tell him that the Dark Lord convention of 1998 voted him 'Mr. Congeniality'.
42. And they voted him and Umbridge 'Cutest Couple'.
41. Give him the plaque with their names engraved on it.
40. Tell him that Darth Sidious called and he wants his skin back.
39. Make him watch Star Wars with you when he asks who Darth Sidious is. ALL. SIX. MOVIES.
38. Tell him that if he's a good boy, you'll give him a 'lolly'.
37. Offer to set him up on a blind date…with Filch.
36. Apologize and say that Filch is straight, and offer to set him up with Percy Weasley instead.
35. After the date, tell him that Molly wants grandchildren.
34. Ask him if he's a virgin.
33. Ask him to baby-sit for your baby sister, who acts like Elmira from Tiny-Toons.
32. At the next meeting, inhale helium before you say anything.
31. Teach him how to play 'I Never'.
30. After he and Fudge pass out from drinking to much, strip them to their boxers and take pictures.
29. Sell them on Ebay to Luna for five Euros.
28. Put WWW Enchanted Mistletoe up all over the manor…in July.
27. Keep getting stuck under it with him, and after kissing him giggle and blush.
26. On day two of Mistletoe Mania, gargle with Hydrogen Peroxide after every kiss.
25. Have Dobby send him various brightly colored socks for his birthday.
24. Insist that he wear them so he won't hurt Dobby's feelings.
23. Tell him that he just won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award.
22. Tell him that Gilderoy Lockhart wants his autograph.
21. Tell him that Lockhart's new book is called 'Engaged to Evil', and that he (Voldemort) is the main character.
20. Tell him that the sequel is going to be called 'Married to a Madman'.
19. Followed by 'Reproducing with a Reprobate'.
18. Followed by 'Growing Old with Grace'.
17. Tell him that Harry's fan club is pissed, and he'd better go into hiding before they lynch him.
16. Offer to be his secret keeper, then, in a press conference, say, "I can't tell any of you that Voldemort is hiding at number 6 Privet Drive" which is, of course, his address.
15. Ask him if he is related to Imhotep from the Mummy, because of their resemblance.
14. Ask him, "What is with evil villains all wanting to be bald, is this some sort of fad?"
13. During the next meeting yell, "Struck by lightning! Struck by lightning!"
12. Say, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all," whenever he opens his mouth to talk.
11. Ask him if he believes in Santa Claus. When he says no, tell him to stop denying his inner child.
10. When he's sleeping, paint his nails red and gold, fingers and toes.
9. Super glue a plastic tiara with pink fur to his head.
8. Replace all of his robes with prom dresses.
7. Start singing the song that never ends whenever he paces.
6. Sing 'It's a Small World After All' when he next meets up with Harry Potter.
5. Throw a bachelor party for him, even though he's not getting married, and give him lots of thongs.
4. Buy him a pair of Harry Potter brand eyeglasses because 'everybody's getting them, they're the hottest thing since platform shoes'.
3. Buy him a pair of fluorescent pink platform shoes.
2. Call him Bored Moldywart, the Dark Bore, and He-Who-Is-Scared-Of-A-Child.
1. Tell him, 'You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance'.