Ohayo minna sama!!
Here is the next installment of White Dog Blue moon, beta'ed by MamaSama, thank you so much my friend!!
I wrote this chapter for my dear mum. She has helped me all along my life, protecting me and caring for me. And, even when she was tired from her work, she has helped me preparing my English exams. For this, I am deeply grateful.
I love you mum.
Chapter 8: It's the journey that's important.
Mother Stands For Comfort – Kate Bush (Hounds of love)
She knows that I've been doing something wrong
But she won't say anything.
She thinks that I was with my friends yesterday
But she won't mind me lying
- Mother stands for comfort
Mother will hide the murderer.
It breaks the cage,
dear escapes and takes possession
Just like a crowd rioting inside
- Make me do this, make me do that, make me do this, Make me do that -
Am I the cat that takes the bird?
To her the hunted, not the hunter.
Mother stands for comfort
Mother will hide the murderer.
Mother hides the madman
Mother will stay Mum
Kagome thought she had never, ever, in her short life felt as awkward as she felt now.
Sesshoumaru had insisted she ride on his back for the trip to his home, and after an hour of arguing, and then pleading with the stubborn youkai, she had accepted, albeit grudgingly.
He had explained to her that he was unable to find his sense of direction when using human means of transportation. He needed to follow his innate sense of smell, he needed to feel the earth under his paws to know where he was going.
Somehow, she had deciphered that these were not his only reasons.
She felt the smooth ripple of taut muscles under the palms of her hands as the powerful hound ran through Japan's countryside, and was elated at the soft breeze caressing her cheeks.
She had resigned herself to the indignities of riding Sesshoumaru like an overgrown pony when she had realised that he was probably as uncomfortable as she was in this situation, but the ever-logical youkai had probably assumed it would be more discreet to proceed this way.
She would have to ask him, one day, if he had ever met Gene Roddenberry. That would explain why he resembled so much the vulcain crew member of the Enterprise. Logic was paramount in the inu's mind, and even his own reluctance would not make any difference in one of his decisions.
He just did what was necessary, not more, not less.
She had to admit that, in the dark and secret recesses of her heart, she appreciated the ride. Sesshoumaru was powerful in his own right, even if the current state of his youki was far from what it had been during the Feudal Era. She was slightly reassured as well. She had been horrified to find him in such a state in the pound, and to know he was recovering progressively flooded her with relief.
Not one to lie to herself, she could not avoid the growing affection she felt towards the silent dog. He was like an old friend to her, carrying with him memories of battles and adventures, the remainder of her other life.
She had felt like dying when the well had closed, centuries ago it seemed, and she was left alone in her time. She had been a stranger in her own home, in her own school, pretending with her friends and family that everything was in place in her perfect world.
She had to pretend she was happy, but her mother had known the truth. Of course she had, it was a special power one gained when giving birth to a child, Kagome was sure of that.
And again, as she had talked to her mum on the phone, Miss Higurashi had done what she had always did. She had understood, and had let her daughter go.
"Hello mum." Kagome said, trying to hide the strain in her voice.
"Hello darling. Is everything all right dear?" Her tone was concerned. Of course, She didn't need the acute youkai hearing to know her child was distressed.
A few seconds of pregnant silence, Kagome worrying her lower lip behind the receiver, searching for the best answer... But she couldn't lie to her mother, the older woman would sense it, and... Kagome just couldn't do it.
"Mum, I've found one of my old friends." She stressed the adjective, knowing she would understand the meaning.
"Hum... You mean, one of your very old friends? Is it Inuyasha?" She inquired curiously.
"No mum, not Inuyasha. His brother." Kagome was proud to hear her voice had been steady when she had uttered the name of her long lost love. The wound was still fresh and bleeding.
"Oh... Sorry hun. Wasn't his brother the one that tried to kill you on a few occasions? He's a youkai, isn't he?" Her question was asked in a matter-of-fact way.
"Yea, it's him. But he had been an ally after that and even saved my life a couple of times. He needs my help, mum. He's stuck in his dog form and... well, it's a long story. We are going to his estate by tomorrow morning, and it might be difficult for me to contact you later, because there's no telephones where he used to live." Kagome waited anxiously for the motherly refusal she was sure she would receive.
Again, her mother surprised her, a bubbly squeal escaping the elder woman.
"You mean, he's a doggy? Oh... Couldn't you wait for me to come back? Is his fur as soft as Inuyasha's?"
Kagome stifled a giggle, suddenly enlightened about the reason behind Sesshoumaru's sudden eagerness to escape the shrine.
"Mum, he's a ruthless youkai. He'd bite your head off if you so much as look at him without what he deems the proper amount of respect." The young miko warned.
"Oh... And he lets you touch him?" Kagome could see the knowing smile on her mother's features without actually being in the same room.
"Hum... That's not the point. The point is, I won't be there when you come back. Doesn't this bother you?"
"Of course it does my love, but I trust your judgement. If you say it is safe to go with this man... youkai... whatever, then I won't stop you from going. You have a fate to accomplish, Kagome, and it would be unfair if I didn't support you. Just remember that I'll always be there if you need a comforting shoulder. I may not be a miko, but I'm still your mother, and that's what mothers do. Anyway... can I ask you something else hun?" The sensible voice of her mother soothed her fraying nerves like nothing else.
"Yes mum. What is it?" Kagome replied.
"What about college?"
Ah... drats... Kagome had been avoiding the topic purposefully.
"I've been kicked out." Kagome bowed her head in shame, forgetting her mother couldn't see her.
"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. Was that pink witch bothering you again?"
Super powers. Kagome was sure of it now.
"Yea. Whatever. Sesshoumaru provided me with the answers I was looking for all that time, so going there is pointless now. I know what happened to youkais now, it's all that matters." The young woman ranted.
"What about your future honey? You need to think about earning your living, I won't be there all the time, you know." It was a reasonable statement, Kagome felt a pinch in her chest nonetheless.
"I assume Sesshoumaru will employ me for the time being. The day he won't need me any more, I'll see what I can do. However, I think it won't be before a long time. We have much to do." Kagome said, tapping her lower lip with her index thoughtfully.
"Okay love. I hope you know what you're doing. Just don't let him order you around, do what you must. I love you, Kagome." Her soft voice rang from the other side of the phone line.
"Don't worry, I won't. Bye mum. I love you too." Kagome muttered tiredly.
"Oh, and honey... I know you'll succeed in whatever you commit yourself into, so don't worry."
"Hum... I abandoned my friends, you know." The distraught miko replied matter of factly.
"No you didn't, and you well know it. You had no choice, you had to come back, you didn't belong there. I think they knew it too. Just remember them, and be grateful you have been granted with the joy of being acquainted to them. Sometimes, you have to remind yourself that it's the journey that's important, not the result. You've known wonderful people Kagome, and I know they realised the luck they had to spend some time with you. Your friends wouldn't want you to be sad, especially while thinking of them. Furthermore, you wouldn't be with Sesshoumaru now if it hadn't happened this way."
"Yea, I know there is no such thing as chance, and that everything happens for a reason. I'm just a bit sad, it's all. Thank you mum, I have to go now."
"Okay my dear. Just try to call me when you can, so that I know you're all right." Kagome heard her smile.
"Bye mum. See you soon." The miko hung up, a sad smile of her own gracing her lips.
Mothers had two super powers, she decided. Reading their children's minds, and knowing what to say to make them feel better. She just hoped life would give her this strength one day.
'Kagome?' The deep baritone of her canine companion jolted her from her thoughts.
"Hmmm?" She responded, still slightly dazed.
'If you fall asleep while I carry you, you might fall down and hurt yourself.' He replied in his usual cold voice.
"Aw. Sesshoumaru, are you worried about me?" She cooed.
'Hardly.' He snorted haughtily. 'This Sesshoumaru wishes to avoid the pointless loss of time that would result with the injury your frail human body might sustain.'
Kagome was not fooled, but she didn't want to press the matter, grateful for the distraction from her homesickness. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, the inuyoukai surprised her with a question though.
'What ails you, miko?' He asked, no emotions filtering from the link.
"I was thinking about my mother, is all." She replied, shifting slightly on the back of the great white dog.
'You miss her.' He stated.
"Yes. A lot. She's the only constant comfort I have. She have always been there for me, when it was difficult during the Shikon quest, or when the Well closed and I was unable to return to the Feudal Era. She was there when I cried at night because I missed your half brother so much. She was there when I was bullied by my so-called 'friends' for my ideas about youkais. She was the only one there when I was alone." Tears were now brimming her dark blue eyes.
'I never understood why Nikkou coddled our pups that much. In the beginning, I thought she might render them soft and unable to defend themselves. But, as time passed, I understood she was giving them strength. It was as if she was preparing them for the times of duress, filling them with love for the moments she wouldn't be there any more to give it to them. I believe it is what mothers do.' A deep sadness coated his words. She had never felt him so hollow, but then, he obviously avoided speaking about his late wife.
Kagome allowed her hands to stroke the silky fur of the dog under her, trying to comfort him the best she could.
"She was a good mother. You miss her very much, don't you?"
'Indeed she was.' He rumbled, her caresses soothing his pain.
"Are you sure she's... definitively gone?" The miko asked in a murmur.
'Yes.' He grunted, not willing to stay on the subject.
"Why? I mean, you're still alive after all." Kagome insisted.
'She speaks to me in my dreams.' He ground out through clenched teeth.
"And what does she tell you?" She wanted to know, oblivious to the anger coming from their bond in waves.
'Kagome.' He warned.
"What?" She didn't want to let it go. She felt that she had to force it out of him, her heart and soul demanded it.
'This Sesshoumaru's past is none of your concern.' He was furious now.
"Of course it is, you silly old dog!! I'm stuck with you now, and if I don't know where you're leading me, I won't be able to help. You have to let me in, Sesshoumaru. We are old friends, I won't betray your trust." Her tone was gentle, but she sounded like a mother scolding her child.
The dog froze in his step and Kagome shrieked as her body was propelled over his head, following the momentum of its previous course. She reflexively curled herself in a ball, rolling on the ground nearly unscathed.
She breathed in, preparing a scalding remark for the inu, but she stopped herself when she heard him snarling viciously at her. He was seething with rage, his eyes turning slowly crimson, green acrid drool falling between his fore paws, making the floor smoke as the acid ate away at it.
But she would have none of it.
Legs akimbo, fists on hips, hair swaying madly around her small frame, Kagome glared at him.
"Sesshoumaru!!" She growled with her human throat. "That was dangerous!!"
'You... Human, you never knew your place. Do not think that because of your place in this Sesshoumaru's pack, you can question him endlessly on his motives or about his past!!'
Not heeding the warning behind his words, Kagome relaxed and walked towards him, arms outstretched in a gesture of peace offering, aura pulsing with calming blue energy. Sesshoumaru found himself transfixed by the vision she offered him, and how much she resembled his departed mate in this very instant.
Nikkou had done the same, once. He had been furious with his first born, and had nearly killed him after he had nearly injured his mother. But she had been in front of him suddenly, protecting her pup with her body and soothing blue youki. She had embraced him slowly, and had murmured in his ear...
"It's okay, Sesshoumaru. I'm here. Calm down."
Sesshoumaru started violently. In that moment, the voice of his love had been mixed with the woman's, as she was currently running her human fingers in the fur of his neck. The words... They both had said the same words to soothe the anguish he had felt.
And as his eyes returned to their usual golden hue, he answered her question.
'She asks me to find her.' He said. But no pain came with the statement.
He knew that, somehow, some part of the woman he had loved so much was comforting him in her reassuring embrace.
He felt at home for the first time in decades.
There. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Thank you very much for your support and reviews, they make me feel loved!! XD
My muse being very prolific lately, I've started another fic... It's dark and twisted, and the rating is MA (quite justified I may add). So, I'll publish it only on Dokuga (it's another Sess/Kag, as you've probably deduced). Only read it if you're over 18, please. Don't worry, it won't slow my updates on my other fics.
Please review this chapter!! :)