Falling Apart

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Skins. I'm pretty sure you knew that already though.

A/N: Jal's thoughts on episode 8 (Jal's episode). Very short, I know. But I hope it's alright. This was written straight after I watched the episode and I didn't know what would happen yet. Please review this, I'd love it!

She felt as if she were an outsider standing there. It was almost as if she were looking from above. Looking as the girl with tears down her cheeks stared at the boy in the hospital cart getting pulled away.

She was confused. Dazed. Not comprehending what had just happened, because it was all so unbelievable.

She wanted to be sick. She wanted to burst into tears. She wanted to run to where he was, crowded by all the doctors and nurses. She needed to. She felt so helpless standing around not being able to do anything.

She bit back the tears and sat down, telling herself it would all be ok. Chris would be ok. Everything would go back to normal. But she knew, deep down, she didn't believe it. Wanted to, so desperately, but couldn't.

It wasn't fair. But then again life wasn't fair. It had already happened to Chris, losing Peter. Jal wasn't sure she'd be able to take it. She didn't know how she would be able to survive.

It was her fault. All her fault. If only she'd listen to Chris when he wanted to talk to her. If only she hadn't shunned him away because of her stupid clarinet audition and oral exam.

Her life was already fucked up enough.

Without Chris…she couldn't even think the words let alone say them. He was the only thing that helped her make it through the day. The only person who understood her.

She swallowed and turned to face the doors which Chris had just gone through.

"He'll be ok," She muttered quietly, trying her best to convince herself, "He'll be ok."