Into The Ocean

Author's Note: It's hard to say how I feel about this one. On one hand, it's the most generic thing I've ever seen. On the other hand, I absolutely adore this song and think about Xigbar and Demyx every time I hear it. Oh, well – just chalk the unoriginality up to the fact that I might be developing pneumonia and send me get well cards. Done for the exchange between myself and Black Light Princess.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own any of the lyrics used. The lyrics are from "Into The Ocean" by Blue October.

I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Xigbar loved scouting missions. Although it was always a blast to take out any sort of target, sometimes it was nice to just bum around. Of course, it depended on who he got paired up with. Xemnas must have been feeling particularly charitable, because he'd paired him up with Number IX. Demyx was a cool kid – Xigbar had found him himself, and the teen had a strange way of making them all seem to feel. Lately Xigbar had found himself wanting to spend more time with the kid, so this made it easy. Sitting on the ground, Xigbar pulled his hair away from his face. The band had broken earlier, but that was okay – it made the peace a little more real. At the moment, Demyx was currently laying back on a rock, his blue-green eyes shut as he hummed something that was vaguely familiar.

"Demyx? Hey, kid, what're you humming?"

Demyx sat up, opening his eyes to look at Xigbar with a grin. "It's this song that I heard before you found me. It's sad, but… I don't know, I like it. You want to hear it?" As Demyx looked at him, eyes full of hope, Xigbar felt himself nodding.

"Yeah, 'course." That was the truth, too – Xigbar found that he couldn't say no to those blue-green eyes. And so Demyx sang for him, and Xigbar shut his eye and leaned back. He didn't flinch when fingers calloused from playing began to stroke through his hair, and Demyx didn't flinch when Xigbar shifted to lay his head on the blonde's lap. It didn't cross either of their minds that this might not be right, might somehow be frowned upon – they had become so used to what "wasn't right". Was it really so wrong to find something that made them feel?

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

It got harder after that. Axel was the only one who returned from Castle Oblivion, and the only thing keeping him from giving up was Roxas. Demyx would come to Xigbar's room in the night and tell him how much he worried about his friends. Xigbar would soothe the boy with gentle kisses and whispered sentiments, and then they would sleep, wrapped up in each other's arms.

Roxas left, and Axel soon after that. Soon there wasn't much time for singing, for target practice – but they never forgot, though they wished that it hadn't come to this.

Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be

Demyx was given the orders soon after. He came to Xigbar, and though the scarred man was busy, he comforted Demyx as the boy did the one thing he hadn't shared with Xigbar.

Xigbar held him as he cried, and even though Demyx didn't notice, he wasn't the only one who was shaking.

"I don't think I'm going to make it, Xiggy. I was never a match for Roxas."

"Shh, you'll be fine. Don't think like that, okay?"

"I… I'll try. It just freaks me out, you know?"

"What does?" But Xigbar knew.

"Dying. Being lost in the darkness." Demyx said it anyway.

"Don't let it get to you."

"I'll try."

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Demyx was in Hollow Bastion for the first and last time of his life. He tried not to think about it, to listen to Xigbar's advice – but he knew. He tried to prolong the dance as long as he could, trying to appeal to his old friend with kind words, but it was no use.

"Oh, we do too have hearts! Don't be mad!" 'We do. Don't you remember?'

"You can't trick us!" 'I guess not.'

Demyx gave up. Roxas was gone, and if Axel couldn't bring him back, then there was no way that he could. "Silence, traitor!"

The dance began.

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)

Steel sliced through water, slammed against flesh, and Demyx began to panic.

'Xigbar, where are you?'

It was no use. Xigbar was back at the World That Never Was, preparing for his upcoming mission in the Land of Dragons. Even if he had been there, he couldn't have interfered. Not only would Xemnas kill them both, but Demyx didn't want Sora to land any hits on him. It was better that it was him who felt the Keyblade, that Xigbar could live – could become something instead of nothing, and Somebody instead of Nobody.

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

One blow, and it was all over. His sitar dissolved into bubbles, and Demyx clenched his fists. No… no, no, no! There was still so much he had to do.

"No… no way!"

'Xigbar… I love you.'

Darkness took him, and there was nothing left of the Melodious Nocturne.

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Xigbar was in the Proof of Existence when the light faded from blue to red. Luxord found him there, desperately holding onto the fragments of the now-crumbled statue.

"He… he doesn't like red. It doesn't suit him. Blue suits him. Even Axel said blue suits him."

Days later, Xigbar found himself in the Land of Dragons, desperately holding onto the last bit of sanity he had with a bottle of sake hidden in his coat. He laughed a drunken laugh when Sora called him Riku, and he laughed louder as the dragon came.

Demyx had always wanted to see a dragon.

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove that I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall

Sora was coming. Sora was coming.

Sora was here.

Luxord should have gone first, but Xigbar was sick of waiting. He'd stopped drinking the sake, instead taking to holding the barrel of his gun against his neck and waiting for the Keyblade wielder to step into the castle.

He would be first, because he would kill Sora, or die trying. For Demyx, because even though Demyx hated violence, it was the only thing Xigbar had left to give.

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

It was all he could do not to laugh when his lasers shot back at him. It looked like he would die here, just like Demyx (with his laughter and his music and those beautiful eyes) had died. Killed by Roxas, but not really – Roxas would have regretted it, even as he dealt the final blow, and so when Sora asked, Xigbar finally laughed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" 'He'd been a friend, but he's gone now.'

Xigbar started to fade. 'I hope you're waiting for me, Demyx, because I'm coming.'

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

In some lost world, the wind died down and the clouds cleared long enough for anyone who looked to see two stars fall to the ocean.