Disclaimer: I do not own Rogue or Logan, or any of the X-Men. I'm just a strange person that likes to manipulate them and pull at their heartstrings.
Hurt: Logan and Rogue share a heartfelt goodbye that leaves them both shaken. She only wants to go with him, and he only wants to escape. There is love, but when is that ever enough?
This little tidbit was inspired by Johnny Cash's Hurt. The song is lovely, and makes me cry every time. Sure, it's probably a situation that's been done to death, but I think I put a nice spin on it.Fair bit of warning... There might be petting involved.
"Don't do this t' meh," she whispered, her glistening eyes pleading with him to reconsider his words. "Please."
Hazel eyes devoid of any emotion, he stared down at her for a long moment before saying a word. No words could ever express the way that he was feeling at that exact moment, but for her sake, he would try. "Rogue," he started, his voice rougher than he'd intended. "Don't make me do this. Please...don't make me do this."
"Marie," she correctly softly, urging him to use the name that only he knew her as. She'd never shared it with another because no other had earned her trust so easily, so completely. "Mah name's Marie."
"I know," he replied, his lips thinning as he slowly shook his head. Almost as if he were in a trance, his hand reached toward her face slowly. His finger brushed back a stray lock of white hair almost absentmindedly. Once he realized what he'd done, he jerked his hand back and stared down at her in shock. "Marie, I'm sorry." But, he wasn't quite certain if he was sorry for the situation or for touching her.
For a man that had never honestly apologized to another being, as far as he could recall, the man known as Logan didn't do too bad of a job. In fact, Rogue found herself nodding her head slowly in acceptance, half wondering if she were dreaming. The two stood just outside of the main door of Xavier's School for the Gifted, surrounded by the quiet night air. Everyone was either in bed or out of sight. They were completely alone.
At that moment in time, only those two lost souls were present under the glow of the half moon. He found himself transfixed by this girl, this woman, that stood before him so boldly. While it was easy for him to evoke fear in those around him, she had never once shown an ounce of fear in regards to the man that was a living weapon.
"Don't leave meh here alone," she whispered, reaching out with gloved hands to skim her covered fingertips over his face. He stood still, his stoic nature revealing none of the turmoil that was waging a war inside of him. "Ah won't stay if yah ain't here."
Lifting a hand to press her entire palm against his cheek, he drew in a short breath. His bag was packed and already strapped to the bike that was just a mere few feet away from where they stood. "You need this place, kid. They'll help you, take care o' you. Don't' worry, they'll keep you safe." Logan knew that for a fact. Not only was Rogue considered dangerous, but she was also considered to be extremely valuable. "'Ro will look out for ya."
"Ah don't want her tah look out fah meh!" she shouted, her voice husky and slightly hoarse. "Don't yah get that? Yah promised tah take care o' meh, Logan. If yah want out o' it, just say so. Ah don't wanna be yah burden." Yet, even as she said it, tears began to stream down her porcelain face, causing him to grimace and curse himself mentally. "They ain't nothin' fah meh here."
"Don't you get it? I'm an animal, Rogue! I don't want to hurt you but dammit, it's what I do!" Before she had a chance to react, he had grasped her wrists firmly and jerked her toward him roughly so that they were chest to chest. "Is this what you wanted?" he demanded hoarsely, his eyes darkening as his breathing grew a bit labored.
Her pulse fluttered wildly under his fingers as she stared up at him with wild doe eyes. Lips quivering, she slowly nodded her head as the tears came to a slow stop. "Logan, Ah ain't scared o' yah. Ah know what you're capable of and yet Ah'm still here. Doesn't that say somethin' about meh?" Her eyes were filled with such hope and longing that he felt like a bastard. "Take meh with yah."
Logan's heart seemed to clench even more tightly in his chest; if that's even possible. He silently wondered how many nights he had dreamt of her saying those same words, those words that he both longed for and loathed. It wasn't fair for her to feel this way about him. He could smell it in the air so clearly that it had become almost impossible for him to ignore. He often found himself wondering if she had any idea what she did to him when she stared up at him with those come hither eyes.
"Rogue, I'll come back, eventually." He didn't want to come back, but for her, he would. He'd give his life for her, which he had, twice. But, he couldn't ask anyone, especially her, to deal with the untamed man that lay just beneath the surface of his rugged exterior. "I'll come back for these." Tentative eyes caressed her feminine and exposed throat, trailing over her collarbone and the link chain that hung there. While it was true that Logan had thrown his tags at William Stryker's feet at Alkali Lake, it was also true that he'd found the other half of his tags in a file that he had taken from the base.
It had long since been a tradition for her to wear his tags, even while he was around. Rogue knew that it was Logan's way of promising to stick around, to come back even when he didn't want to. The tags around her neck were the only thing that he had of his past. "Is that all Ah am?" she asked quietly, her hands going limp in his grasp. "Just a place tah hang yah past when it's tah heavy fah yah tah bear?" Pride stung, she drew her gaze away from his and stared, rather pointedly, at the bike just beside them.
"Dammit, Marie!" His temper barely held under control, he gave her one rough shake. It was enough to have her eyes meeting his again, but this time there may have been a bit of fear hidden behind the admiration and longing. "Don't make me do this," he pleaded, again.
Rogue, never one to simply give up in the face of danger, lifted her chin and met his heated gaze with one of her own. "Ah'm not a child anymore, Logan. Stop treatin' meh like you're just afraid yah'll break meh."
Which was precisely the reason that he wanted to get on that bike and drive off toward the horizon. "I know you're not a child," he muttered, somewhat sheepishly. No, this person in front of him had stopped being a girl long ago. Somehow, she had transformed from a cheeky kid to a heart-stopping woman overnight. "Why do you think I'm leaving?" he hissed, his grip tightening instinctively on her wrists.
A knowing look was in her eyes as she drew in a ragged breath. She may have been innocent in the ways of the world, but she knew that this man before her was more than he claimed to be. "Then why are yah runnin'? Can't yah see that Ah'm still standing here, offerin' up the only thing Ah got?" Her heard on her sleeve, she stared up at him with glistening eyes.
"I'll just end up letting you down. I don't want to make you hurt, Marie." It was too painful for him to stare down at her when he knew that his feelings matched hers perfectly. It wasn't fair to either of them, but destiny had a way of kicking everyone in the ass. "You don't deserve this, Marie. You don't deserve this at all."
Breath lodging in her throat, she slowly found her voice. "What don't Ah deserve?" she asked softly, fearing yet hungering for his reply.
Without more than a word of warning, he released her wrists and jerked her closer to him. One hand fisted in her hair while the other pressed itself against her lower back. Eyes darkened, he lowered his head quickly and pressed his lips to hers. There was nothing soft or gentle about it. He plunged into the depths of her supple mouth with the lips of a skilled lover. Tongue probing and demanding, he took and took until he could take no more. That is, until her tongue reached out and brushed against his hesitantly.
Hazel eyes open and searching, he stared at her tightly closed lids as the kiss continued, rocking him just as much as it did her. Hesitant arms reached up to wrap around his neck, and he allowed himself to lose track of everything but the feel of her body. While one hand remained firmly lodged in her soft hair, the other began to roam. First over her tightened ass and then lingering on her hip. Then it slowly inched its way upward until he was rubbing her breast through the dark green shirt that she wore.
Rogue found herself letting out an indecipherable moan of pleasure and arched her hips towards his. Unfortunately, that was when she began to feel the age old pull of his mind crashing into hers. Horrified, she pulled away and struggled to breathe as thoughts and emotions that weren't hers lodged themselves firmly in her mind. "Ah'm sorry," she whispered huskily as she slowly unwrapped her arms from his neck and let them fall to her sides. "Ah lost control," she tried to explain. After the cure had worn off, Rogue had gained control over her mutation. It took a significant mental prowess most times, and it seemed that she'd lost track of herself when she'd been thoroughly kissed.
"Now do you see why I'm going?" he asked, his eyes glazed over with something that she could only assume had more to do with the Wolverine than with her.
She was hurriedly going through the things that she'd absorbed from him. After a moment, she shuddered and tears began to stream down her face yet again. "Ah don't know what yah want meh tah say," she murmured, her eyes locked back onto his. Rogue had never known what it felt like when someone loved her, completely and unconditionally, but she'd just experienced it firsthand. Logan loved the subtle upturn of her nose, the slight dimple in her left cheek when she smiled, and even the way she always cocked her head slightly to the left whenever she was teasing him. All of the things that she'd once considered to be her bad qualities seemed so much better in his eyes. He loved her.
"I don't want to hurt you. I have before and I'm not taking that chance again." Once, after first meeting, she had approached him while he was having a nightmare. The end result was him stabbing her, and her using her mutation to nearly kill him by sucking him dry. Logan didn't want anything to happen, particularly not by his own hands. "Rogue, if something were to ever happen to you..." he trailed off, unable to complete the thought.
He didn't have to, she could feel it inside of her already. Wiping away tears, she slowly cupped his cheek in her hand. His eyes were darkened and his face was drawn. "Ain't nothin' gonna happen tah meh. Not when Ah've got yah around." The statement rang true, and was brutally honest.
"No, Rogue. I'm an animal, a killer. It's in my blood. It's what I am. You deserve more. I won't let my selfish needs get in the way." Logan, if anything, was nothing but honest. "I can never live up to the image that you have of me. I'll eventually let you down and hurt you. I couldn't live with myself if I ever did." He paused for a long moment and thought longingly of the way her lips felt against his and wanted to go back on the promise that he had made himself. But, in the end, his will remained strong. "I'll be back. Maybe I just need some time."
But, they both knew that it would take more than just time for him to come back a changed man. So, Rogue stood there with clenched fists and glistening eyes as Logan stalked toward the motorcycle and straddled it quickly. The engine roared to life, causing her to jerk slightly in surprise. He glanced over his shoulder and their eyes met once more before he sailed down the drive and out of her life. Again.
Sobbing now, Rogue fell to her knees and clutched her face in her hands. She felt broken, alone, and completely lost. The one thing that she had wanted, longed for even, had just left her alone and heartbroken. The only person that understood, even remotely, what she was going through had just left her without a proper goodbye. Hating herself and hating him, she threw her head back and wailed at the half moon.
He had let her down.
He had hurt her.
A/N: I have yet to decide if I'm going to continue this, as it's something that I wrote this morning about at about TWO AM. It can stand alone, but I might doodle on it a bit more if the inspiration continues to strike. Either way, thoughts?