I dreamt this plot and had to get it down on paper before I forgot it. The mature rating will take a couple of chapters to come into effect, but don't worry, it will.

Italics represent JD's thoughts.

Scrubs and its characters are not mine, which is probably a good thing. JD would never walk right again.


Ch 1 Another Gay Day

JD flipped through the chart he was holding, noting the status of his current patient. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through his dark hair and twirled the ends. It was especially curly today, since he had accidentally used Carla's shampoo in the shower this morning. I may have to steal her shampoo more often. Plus, now I smell like honey and pears.

The day had been extremely slow so far; every case had been run of the mill and easily treatable. At any other job, that would result in boredom and probably a little whining on his part. Okay, maybe a lot. But in a hospital, these kinds of days were rare and what you hoped for. Easy cases usually meant less people dying.

The sound of Dr. Cox shouting in the hall drew JD's attention. The poor victim this time was an intern, who was cowering while Dr. Cox, dressed in his usual attire of white lab coat and tight t-shirt, ranted and turned ever redder. He's been yelling a lot more lately. I wonder if something is wrong. More that usual, I mean.

JD shook his head to clear the voice telling him he could probably help Dr. Cox relieve some of that tension… Preferably he would push me up against the wall, forcing my legs apart with his knee and grinding against me oh so painfully slowly-

SHUT UP, BRAIN! JD had to quickly force his thoughts to Dr. Kelso doing the chicken dance to stop his body from going too far and betraying him. His hands had started to sweat from that image, so he wiped them on his scrubs, composing himself quickly.

After such a long time, he had become quite good at shoving his feelings for Dr. Cox back to deep down inside himself. Along with all those other things I don't want to deal with.

JD couldn't remember when his feelings for Dr. Cox had changed from adoring apprentice to repressed insane sexual desire. He knew it must have been early on, because it felt like an eternity that he had started holding his breath and trying not to feel too tingly when Dr. Cox was around him, or watching the older doctor as often as he could, or seeing him every night in his dreams.

More like nightmares, really, since they make me so hard it's painful. Not to mention they make it that much harder to be around him at work. JD tilted his head.

On the bright side though, I have saved money on buying porn, since my imagination seems to have enough fuel all on it's own.

JD carried his chart over to the nurse's station, remembering his latest dream of Dr. Cox. He had been riding his scooter and had gotten pulled over by the older man, who had apparently decided to be a cop in this dream. Officer Cox had had to strip search the younger man, and took him in for interrogation. JD had refused to give in, so Officer Cox had had to take…extreme measures. Man, I am weird.

Dr. Cox was sitting on the counter, rubbing his eyes. JD moved closer cautiously. Dr. Cox was very likely to snap at anyone for anything these days, and God save the underling that dared ask him a stupid question.

"Are you alright?" he asked, readying his body to dash if Dr. Cox proved violent. A tingle went down his back. Oh yeah. Maybe throw me onto the nurses' desk. No, bad JD! Today was proving a bad day for self-control.

The other man looked up. JD could see his eyes were bloodshot, and underneath the beginnings of dark circles were beginning to appear. He looked older than usual, and even his hair, which was usually glorious- in my opinion- was limp and faded. He looks so tired. JD felt his heart pang for Dr. Cox

"No, I am not alright, Sylvia. I look like death, in case you didn't notice," Dr. Cox ground out. JD flinched away from the harsh tone and the not-quite-sane look in his eyes.

Dr. Cox passed his hand over his face. "You see, Angelina, this here is what you look like when your entire world doesn't make sense anymore. You start running from yourself, and things are bound to start to take a bad turn-" He stopped abruptly as he realized what he was doing.

The older man hopped off the counter quickly and started to turn away. Dr. Cox must have a hell of a problem if it drove him to open up to me, if only a little bit and only by accident. JD reacted without thinking and grabbed his shoulder to stop the other doctor from leaving.

Dr. Cox stiffened. JD looked at his treacherous hand and frantically thought of all the things he didn't get to do before he died. "You better have a damn good reason for touching me, Newbie," he growled.

Oh God, I hope I do. JD struggled to look at the other doctor. "Well," he stammered, "I thought maybe I could help you feel better and-" stupid stupid stop talking NOW!- "maybe we could go out to a bar or something."

Dr. Cox said nothing, just glared in that patented way of his. JD felt his cheeks flame, and struggled to fill the silence.

"I mean," he said, "I don't know what's bothering you, but maybe if you want to talk about it… I'm here for you." I sound like such a girl. No wonder Gram-gram used to try and take me bra shopping. Dr. Cox must never know about that.

Dr. Cox broke out of his silence as JD was flashing back to when Nana had made him model a pink training bra. The sad part was, he was kind of chubby then and had almost filled it out.

He turned to face JD head on and touched his thumb to his nose, a sure sign that certain doom was approaching.

"Get that dazed look of your face Sally, and you listen to me good. Not now nor will I e-hever want to "pour my heart out" to you, or anybody else. Except my shrink, of course, and that's only because I know he's not really listening anyway," he said. "I abs-ho-lutely do not want to go get a manicure with you, or get our hair styled, or pick out wedding dresses, or whatever it is you do to make yourself feel better after a particularly rough bout of PMS."

JD shrank back, and Dr. Cox spun away, this time unimpeded.

"I need you to check in on room 209, then run an ECG on Mrs. Plaines, and for God's sake, Newbie, try not to get too excited and spend an hour talking to her about the pros and cons of boxers vs. briefs. Again," he called over his shoulder.

"After that, check in on Mr. Almino. The nurses say he's been wandering around again. Oh, and Carla says she has a new patient coming in. You can take him, he should be an easy treatment." He paused. "And why the hell do you smell like pears?" He shook his head and disappeared around the corner.

JD slumped against the counter, berating himself. Why do I always fuck things up? I just can't leave him alone. Shouldn't some sort of survival instinct kick in and stop my mouth from running on it's own? Of course, it could just be his masochistic streak coming out. It did tend to come out at the most inappropriate times. Like when Dr. Cox is threatening to personally beat the next person to make a mistake, I always hope it's me, so then he'd at least touch me…


JD shook his head. He checked to make sure Laverne was busy with someone else's business and picked himself out a new shiny pen from Carla's stash.

Maybe if I brought him a pen he would be less mad…As he was musing about this, Turk came up behind him, singing a rap song that JD pretended to know. They grooved for a few seconds, before JD slumped against the counter again.

"What's wrong, Vanilla Bear?" Turk asked, concerned. "Usually our groove sessions last until someone gets hurt. Usually you."

JD sighed. His SCB should know everything, but he couldn't bring himself to tell him. As well as he and Turk knew each other, he still wasn't sure how he'd react.

"Turk, do you ever feel that by not following your heart, you are lying to yourself?" he asked dejectedly.

Turk looked at him a moment. It was odd that JD would be so serious.

JD continued, "I feel like I should be true to myself, but it's hard and could ruin everything." Turk always knows what he wants, and how to get it. For this, I can't expect Chocolate Bear to understand. Much like he can't understand why I'm afraid to use a urinal.

"Dude, are you having another gay day?"

JD sighed again. "You have no idea." And with that, he set off down the corridor to do Dr. Cox's bidding.

I would love reviews if you've got the time. I haven't entirely decided on the direction I'm going to take this story, so your feedback would be appreciated.