I'm still alive.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.


Dearest Deidara.

I am currently stuck in the deepest pits of hell.

Of course, this happens to be anywhere where you are not. If you're laughing, I assure you I'm completely serious, but if you're not, then I'm glad you think the same. You do know, right, that I can't live without you? It's just a pitiful and hollow existence, that of a marionette with strings cut.

Sometimes I wish it was you in this bed (I can already imagine you blushing, Deidara, and its adorable when you do that) but I don't really think it'd be big enough for both of us anyways, and then we'd end up on the floor. A hotel floor.

How absolutely tasteless. Don't you agree?

Oh, well, with that art of yours, you don't have much taste anyways.

I'm joking, I'm joking. Calm down.

It's cold here, up north, but I can't feel it much. A little bit. Not much. Thankfully the Akatsuki funds were able to pay for a hotel. Not a fancy one, but it will do, at least for me, and that means it's probably good enough for anybody. You know how I am, Deidara.

What was it you said once? If I told somebody to leap, they'd better leap pretty damn well?

You hit it on the head with that, I think, though not as eloquent as I would've liked. Oh, well. You have looks, personality, a somewhat decent taste in hobbies, and skills in bed (blushing again, are we?) so anything that's missing I suppose I'll have to deal with.

A person like you only comes along once in a while.

This reminds me. Before I left, you asked me if two men loving each other was normal. I couldn't answer you right then because I was busy, but I've had time to think it over. This is my answer, Deidara.

First of all, I am slightly biased in this, because I have you. You are my perfection, my missing half. You are the reckless to my perfectionism, the risk-taker to my safe and sheltered being. I can honestly say I don't know how I truly lived without having you by my side. Perhaps I scraped by with the bare minimum needed to survive, but you made my life so much more enjoyable, and I hope you will for years to come. But, putting that aside, I do not believe that homosexuality (that's the true name for it, Deidara, and a fear of it is homophobia) is widely accepted yet. Perhaps in the unknown lands that nobody has found yet, there it is accepted and allowed. But here, in this world, there are those who term it 'disgusting', 'unnatural', and various other terms, which I'm not going to write down. They're terrible, horrible words, and I hope you never have to hear them. You're too beautiful to be called anything otherwise, save for 'perfect', 'artistic', and 'mine'. But only I will call you that last one, because you are mine, and if anybody tries to steal you, I will poison them and let them die a slow and painful death (just a warning if you try and cheat, Deidara).

In the end, however, two men loving each other is their own idea, and nobody can change that. People can call you names, deny you entrance into restaurants, whatever they want, but as long as there is love between you and your soul mate, then nothing and nobody can stop you.

That's what I think, anyways.

Did that help any? If not, then I'm sorry. That's the best I can come up with.

I'm not perfect like you, Deidara. I don't do everything in a way that's beautiful, like you. I can't. That's why I need you by my side. You are the first person that's every truly loved me. My parents, my grandma… they all abandoned me. I won't cling to you, Deidara, do not mistake me on that, nor will I depend on you for everything.

But I will keep you by my side. As a friend, as a partner, as a lover.

Till the end of time, and back.

I must finish up here. This pen didn't have much ink in the first place, and also, I'm out of paper. There's not much more to discuss, nothing that needs urgent reply or anything that I can't talk about once I see your sparkling blue eyes back at base. I can envision them even now. They are the first things that pop into my head when I close my eyes. When someone tells me to envision beauty, there you are. Don't feel so bashful, Deidara. It's true. Completely and totally true.

A last minute note: if you somehow die before I get back to base, in a freak explosion accident by way of that mouth in your chest or something else, I swear I will commit suicide and come down to Hell and kill you again.

As a precaution, you know. You shouldn't go and endanger yourself when I'm all the way over here, waiting to see you again.

It's tacky, cliché, and happens only in bad romance novels.

Love,

Sasori