I Know How To Turn An 'F' Into An 'A'
"Mommy, I know how to turn an F into an A!" Naruto is failing Math, and Kakashi gets a certain Uchiha to help the blonde. But does Naruto really need that much help, or does Kakashi just enjoy being the Matchmaker? NaruSasu oneshot.
An: Hey all! This is a short little one-shot as I procrastinate working on my other fics!! It's a NaruSasu oneshot that was just kind of a spur-of-the-moment idea to write. I don't own Naruto, nor do I own anything else in this fic because I'm sure this idea has been written about before.
I looked out the window, or should I say, Naruto, the sun was shining right into the classroom, and onto his hair, lighting it up like fire. It was an eyesore, or it's really pretty, depending on which way you're looking at the subject. To me, his whole figure is an eyesore. He's always wearing bright orange, jeans that barely cover his bright orange boxers a white beater or an orange shirt, whichever, and a neon orange jacket. Not to mention the headband that he wraps around his forehead, that one's bright orange too.
But we can be really good friends. Sometimes. He's not always the best person to hang out with, especially when caffeine becomes a factor, then he's downright unpleasant. Don't get me wrong, it's not that he's an ass after he drinks anything caffeinated; actually, it's the opposite. He gets hyper, and not in a good way. He just jumps around and acts like a five year old whenever something with far too much sugar goes down his throat. Trust me on this, it's not so pleasant.
All the teachers think it's hilarious to put us in the same classes, and so we always are, and we're always fighting over the dumbest things, or disrupting the class. Which is why most teachers always assign us seats across the classroom from each other, though that never stops him from standing on his desk (yes, on his desk) and yelling at me.
So here we are—math class. I'm just naturally good at math, but they won't let me skip geometry, no mater how hard I plead with them. I think Tsunade is just against me and wants me to be tortured in Kakashi's math classes. She knows I'm not a fan of Kakashi, and how I think he's the worst teacher ever because he gives us a sheet of problems, a text book and tells us to complete the worksheet in ten minutes, using the book to answer any questions we may possibly have. Then it gets worse. He just sits there on his lazy ass reading his goddamn book, Make Out Paradise, which may I say is full of porn and the sort of things a twenty five year old man would love, especially when he's already gone gray from previous stress.
Well, since Kakashi never collects the worksheets we do in class (they become our homework if we don't finish them), no one ever does them, and therefore no one ever learns. Especially not Naruto. He just sits there, chatting away like this was a free period; which obviously it's not, especially when Kakashi is in the room. So, of course, he's the first person to get in trouble, because his voice is always the loudest and easiest to hear. At least the rest of us actually pretend to do our work. Then of course, we pass notes back and forth like nothing was ever wrong.
So, today we're doing trigonometry, psht, easy as shit. I've finished my worksheet, though most people are still typing away at their calculators, trying to find out whether using sine or cosine would be easier. Of course, most people really don't care whether they have the answers correct or not and they've kinda given up. Like Shikamaru, who doesn't care about school period. So of course, he's sleeping in the most obvious way. Then there's Ino, who sits right in front of me, and she's too busy doodling and drawing hearts around her name and my name. Ew.
And of course there' s Naruto, who's trying to find the best way to cheat and finish the worksheet without a single error. But of course, Lee's babbling about youthfulness, making it impossible for Naruto to concentrate.
Maybe I pity him right now. I've been caught in one of Lee's speeches. He's so unpopular he'll die to talk to someone. Unfortunately, Naruto happens to sit right next to him and the simple question of 'how do you answer this?' quickly turns into one of Lee's favorite speeches. I almost laugh at Naruto's misfortune, but I hold back. I know how bad Lee's speeches can be.
For the first time in three weeks (I believe) I hear Kakashi's voice. And the scariest part is, he's calling my name. MY name! Well, I walk up to the front of the room, everyone was whispering about this. Normally, may I point out, Kakshi puts a pile of worksheets on his desk and writes instructions on the board, he rarely ever opens his mouth unless it's to laugh about something in his damned books.
So, of course, this was a huge surprise.
"Yes?" I ask, becoming preoccupied with my nails so I don't have to look at him. He pauses, putting down his book. This is going to be serious, I can tell. Kakashi never puts his book down unless it's serious. I gulped, wondering why it was me who was called up to his desk instead of, say, Shikamaru. He was the one breaking all of Kakashi's rules anyway.
"Listen, Uchiha," Kakashi said, a bit irritated, but none the less, stern. "I need you to help me with something," He placed his hand on mine, forcing me to look into his one eye. The other was covered by his greasy silver hair.
"Yeah," I said, pulling my hands away from his. If it sounds disturbing to think about, how about living it first hand (an: no pun intended there)? Gross, exactly. I narrowed my eyes, wishing he'd talk a bit faster, but he was Kakashi, the slowest, laziest teacher ever.
"Well, I'd like you to tutor Naruto," Kakashi said. If he was slow before, he was excruciatingly slow when he said the blonde's name. I covered my mouth to stop myself from yelling. Tutor Naruto? The dobe? I think not!
"Don't you have someone else to tutor him?" I asked, I couldn't possibly think of myself losing precious free time just to tutor Naruto, who wouldn't be listening anyway. "Like Ino or someone. How about Choji, they're friends anyway. They both like to eat," I said, thinking of anyone to tutor him but me.
"You're the smartest in the class, Uchiha, you're going to tutor him," Kakashi growled, more like commanded. I knew I wasn't going to get my way with this one, but I kept going anyway, thinking of more and more possibilities to be Naruto's tutor.
"What about Sakura?" I asked innocently, even trying to smile a bit as I folded my arms.
"She hates Naruto," Kakashi snapped. Who doesn't? He's an eyesore.
"So do I," I informed him, in case he had forgotten how much we fight during class. "What about you, you're his teacher after all,"
"I don't have endless free time, Uchiha," Kakashi growled, "Now leave," he began to pick up his book, I put my hand over it, pulling it out of his grasp. I'd get in trouble for this later, but I was being impulsive at the moment.
"Neither do I," I said,
"You don't have to make lesson plans," Kakashi informed me
"You don't have homework,"
"You're about to get an F in math,"
"Fine, I'll do it," I growled. He won, and only because I have a perfect A+ in all of my classes, I refuse to get an F just because I don't like my teacher, and I don't want to tutor the Dobe.
"Now that that's settled, go back to your seat," Kakashi snapped, picking up his book again and immediately becoming absorbed in the porn-o pictures.
"PMSing, aren't we?" I muttered, walking slowly back to my seat. I glared at my paper. Shitshitshitshitshit. Why the hell did I ever agree to this?
Oh yeah, because I'd be practically expelled if I didn't. That or my father would kill me for getting an F in my best subject. (an: Itachi never killed the family)
Finally school was over. I stretched and grabbed my stuff from my locker. Stuffing all loose papers into my backpack to bring home, maybe Mom would put that vocab test I aced on the fridge, where everyone could see it and congratulate me. How embarrassing, it's like I'm ten all over again.
I stepped into the bright sunlight of outside, only to be tackled by something large and orange. Naruto.
"What do you want, Dobe?" I asked, pushing him off of me and smoothing down my shirt.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" he asked me. I took a second to think, then shook my head, receiving a glare from Naruto. I guess it's not impossible to receive a mean look from those wide, blue eyes.
"Uh, no, I don't think so," I said, pushing past him and getting ready to leave the school for the next seventeen hours.
Naruto nodded, standing in front of me and pushing me back into the school building. "Uhuh!" he said, nodding eagerly like a kid. "You're supposed to tutor me, Kakashi said so!" Great, now he's acting even more like a little kid.
I sigh and close my eyes. How could I forget? The little fucker, I was trying to make a silent exit.
"Fine," I sighed, defeated only because if I left anyway, Naruto (being the fucker that he is) would tell Kakashi that I skipped, and then I would receive that F, or possibly a D because that was just once. I glared at Naruto the whole way up to the classroom we were supposed to be meeting in. He just puffed out his chest like he had just done something incredible, when really; he only trapped me in this hellhole for another hour and a half.
"Okay, let's get down to business," I said, quickly dropping my backpack on the ground and sitting on a desk. "What don't you understand," I was determined to make this as quick as possible, of course, the little fucker just wanted to slow down, perhaps to cause me more pain then I was already in sitting in here with just him for an hour and a half.
"I think," Naruto paused, looking up to think about what it was he needed to learn. "I don't really understand anything," he admitted, smirking as he lowered his head. What a bitch.
Well, if he was going to be difficult, I was too. "Is that it, Dobe?" I asked, emphasizing the 'dobe' part of the sentence, knowing how much he hates it.
"Don't call me—"
"Call you what, Dobe?" I snickered. "Now lets get down to business," I said, pulling a piece of paper out of my backpack.
"I have a question," Naruto whined, he sounded strained, as if he really had to pee, and couldn't hold it any longer.
"I don't care, Dobe," I growled, "let's start from the beginning,"
"It's kind important," Naruto informed me, taking the piece of paper from me and crumpled it up. "Do you really hate me?" he asked, tossing the paper over his shoulder. It made the trash can. Impressive, but he missed the recycling bin.
"Sometimes," I admitted, pulling another piece of paper from my backpack.
"How about now?" Naruto asked,
"Oh," Naruto blushed. Gay much? "Okay, so lets begin." He said finally after an extremely awkward silence.
"Yeah so…" I continued on, flipping through the text book, determined to get out of the school building by four at the latest.
Three weeks later:
Well, what I thought would be a two week job of catching Naruto up to what we were doing has actually taken much longer than I'd imagine. Mainly because he was so stubborn and every period had another crazy theme to talk about. That was what really pissed me off, his obnoxiously high-pitched voice which hasn't changed yet even though he's fifteen.
I sigh and grab my textbook, again opening up to the page we ended at last week. Naruto smiles up at me. I've decided that if he doesn't want to learn, I'm not going to teach him. Simple as that.
"So, I asked Sakura out today," he said. I smirked inwardly, everyone but him realized that Sakura hated him, and she was completely open about the fact.
"What did she say?" I asked, already knowing the answer, but I've actually found it quite relaxing to talk to the Dobe, mainly because he just doesn't care about anything, and he never pays attention to the details.
Today, however, is a different story. I normally hate alcohol parties, but somehow I got involved. And to be completely honest, I think there are still toxins in my body, I can feel it. And even Kakashi noticed I wasn't completely normal.
Could you say, horny?
So basically, we did nothing the whole time. Except maybe things I would never do when completely sober.
Trust me, it wasn't pretty…
"Hey Naruto," I said, using that seductive voice that people never ever here, unless I'm very drunk. Like now.
"Uh, are you alright?" Naruto asks, backing away. I smirk inwardly. Today he's wearing black basketball shorts, a tight-ish black shirt and that damned orange jacket. He actually looked slightly okay. Well, maybe not okay, fuck, he actually looked quite nice in that shirt.
Especially when he took the jacket off. Leaving me no choice but to wolf whistle like a dumbass. What can I say? I told you there were still toxins in my system.
"I'm fine, Naruto," I said, slurring my words a bit, purposefully, smirking the way I always did, "Why?"
"Uh, cuz you never call me Naruto?" he responded, "Something's up, Uchiha," he said, smiling a bit.
If I were sober, which unfortunately, I'm not, these damn thoughts wouldn't be coming to my mind. I guess after years of blocking him off, all emotions towards him, I've come to accept Naruto as a possible acquaintance, but never anything more.
Of course, it was that smile that made me kinda lose everything. It was hot. Not just 'kinda hot' but hot-hot. The kind of hot that makes you fall over, but not to the public.
I knew I'd regret getting drunk. All I can think of now him… that goddamned bastard is making me feel all lightheaded, and I'm not an expert on love or anything, but experiencing it right now, the feeling just plain sucks.
"You know," I said, staring with wide eyes at his face. A smile played at the corners of my mouth. I was opening myself up to him, which would never happen any other time.
"What?" Naruto asked, coming closer to me again.
"You have nice eyes," I commented, immediately forcing the blush down from my face.
"Are you serious?" he asked, "Or just horny?"
"Horny," he answered for himself. He smiled again, even more sexy than the first time, he's getting closer to me; slowly, the way one would approach a girl on the dance floor. My heart is racing and I inwardly curse myself for it. Finally he reaches me. Goddamn, it's taken way too long.
Before I can do anything like push him away, his fucking lips are against mine.
Who knew the dobe was gay?
All I can think about now is how I should be pushing him away, and I'm trying my hardest not to kiss him back. Sasuke Uchiha is not in any way homosexual… I think.
But the way his hands are tangled in my hair, the way he presses himself to me, the way his lips feel against mine. It all feels better than anything I've ever felt before. I wonder if he's ever kissed another guy before, I'm not an expert on kissing, and in fact, until ten seconds ago, I was prude but, damn does Naruto kiss well.
And the way his hands are slowly making their way down to my hips. Well lets just say that by this moment I'm kissing him back.
I really hate to say it, and this is all happening because of those damn toxins, but Sasuke Uchiha is a fucking homosexual.
I push him away, because, well, I've never done this before, and it's pretty hard to breath when one has their tongue down your throat.
"You know, this would never happen if I was sob—" Naruto cuts me off, pressing his lips to mine again. They feel warm, comfortable, like this should have happened a long time ago. Well, I guess with all this kissing we were kinda making up for missed time.
"It would have happened eventually," Naruto murmured moving his lips from mine and proceeding to kiss every inch of my neck, then back to my lips again.
He bit my lower lip. A moan came from my mouth. This defiantly wouldn't have happened if not for those damn toxins. But right now, I don't care whether or not my being a bit drunk and very horny had anything to do with us kissing. I was soaking it all up, because tomorrow, the whole world would know (thanks to Naruto's big-ass mouth) and I'd be forced to flee the country, fighting off random fangirls on the way.
I guess the door opens because I can feel someone watching me. Someone who isn't really supposed to be here at three fifteen after school on a Friday. Someone who never ever stays past two fifty if he can help it.
Someone by the name of Kakashi Hatake.
I pulled away from Naruto.
"I thought you were supposed to be teaching him math, not how to kiss," Kakashi said, handing the forgotten textbook to me. Luckly he doesn't seem pissed. Probably because he's just witnessed two guys kissing first hand, it must be his lucky day. I take the textbook.
"We were just…" Naruto began, trailing off and looking at me with guilty eyes. "I was only… uh…"
"Trying to pull something out of Sasuke's throat with your tongue?" Kakashi asked, raising the eyebrow of the one visible eye.
Naruto nods, "Something like that,"
"Well, I won't stop you," he said, turning the doorknob of the classroom door.
Who would have thought of it? Kakashi playing matchmaker… I sigh and turn back to Naruto.
"Now, where were we?" he asks, pulling me close to him so our lips meet once more.
An: So how was it? Love it, hate it? Review!