The Story of Spammers
This is in one person POV. My form of flames.
It was a regular day in Sinnoh. For once, I had joined Ash and and his group on the way to one of their regular gyms, because I wanted to get away from the mocking by spammers in Kanto. For some reason, the retarded company of Spammers Inc wanted to be total assholes and mock decently good fanfics because they were jealous.
So, a few weeks ago, Dawn had suggested that I join them. Reluctant (not to mentioned pissed), I came to the trio in Veilstone City. After I had beaten up Paul and Todd into bloody pulps, we went into another uncharted area.
Before anything, let me tell the audience about myself. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I'm a Pisces, and I read manga. For five months, I worked at the Kanto branch of Poke-TMZ, finally ending our telethon program about a while ago. And yeah, I may have pwned a whole bunch of gym leaders, but nobody that I knew really liked them, anyway.
Anyway, we were walking over a bridge, when a fat guy blocked our path. He was wearing dorky glasses, had a bunch of acne, and had drool coming out of his mouth. Ash gasped. " Who's that pokemon ?! "
Clueless. I've watched the anime for a couple of years, and even before that. I wished that Ash would mature, but obviously he wouldn't, thanks to the screenwriters. That's why I would rather date Gary. But back to the noob.
Dawn rolled her eyes. " You're so silly, Ash. That's not a pokemon. That's a spammer ! "
I gasped. Was it really true ? Did spammers really invade Sinnoh ? I rushed to Dawn and began to shake her. " Dawn, say it isn't so ! Are there really spammers in Sinnoh ?! "
" Yeah. "
Brock scratched his head. " Um, Axletia ? What are spammers ? "
Brock's voice took me out of my reveries. " Oh. They are real jerks that mock people's titles and simply spam them. I thought Giovanni is a douchebag, but these guys take the cake and leave no crumb behind ! "
The spammer used a device and spammed some grass. I burnt up, like a burnt lobster on a blazing summer's day. I grabbed a pokeball from my black belt, releasing a Vaporeon. " Athena, go and hydro pump that spammer ! " I cried.
Athena did as she was told and blasted the spammer. It didn't work, though, and the spammer charged into her, sending her fifteen feet into a tree. I was utterly mortified, and called Athena back. My next pokemon was an Umbreon, who I had named Pluto. " Pluto, use bite ! "
Pluto did, but it was no use. The spammer knocked him senseless. I was horrified. Even though these things were loser retards, they were powerful, as they were saying every name from the book in all language to try and kill us. But, as us decent people knew, spammers only do two things to a writer. One, they knock off our self-esteem. And two, they piss us off, which was in my case.
So, Ash , being the naive idiot he is, tried to feed the spammer. Me, being enraged with fury, tazed him and pummeled the stupidhead. Brock and Dawn slowly backed away. The spammer crept closer, and I kicked him into unconsciousness.
The sun shone brightly over our tent. Ash was snoring. I took off my green pajamas and put on a green tanktop, jean shorts, and black flip - flops. I put my hair in a ponytail and stepped outside. Burmy stalked the place, but I was definitely not in the mood to take my time exterminating some bugs. I kicked one and crept up close to a stone. Dawn was sitting on it, holding her Piplup. For the first time in quite a few days, I grinned. " Mornin' , Dawn. "
She turned and looked at me with her blue eyes. " Hey, Axletia. How you feeling ? " she asked.
I gave a sigh. " Pretty crappy, to tell you the truth. Why must people attack a perfectly decent place ? "
" Jealously. They probably live in a one-sided box or something like that. "
I gave a giggle. " Yeah. And they probably use the computer at the library to type their useless stories. "
We both laughed at that. For a few months, I had grown close to Dawn, and we became best friends. Sure, Zoey was a little ticked off, but she didn't mind. And it didn't matter if Ash and Brock were with us, we'd stick together like peas and carrots.
But suddenly, not one, but two spammers came popping out of nowhere. I twitched. " Dawn... grab me my battle axe. "
" But, Axletia, it's only nine o'clock in the morning ! "
" GET ME MY BATTLE AXE ! "
She did what she was told and handed me my battle axe. " We meet again, spammers. What the hell do you want ?! " I screeched.
The spammers only cursed and flipped off. Obviously, neither one was too smart. I chopped their heads off, thinking they would plop over, dead. Instead, they grew their heads and continued to spam.
By then, Ash and Brock had gotten up. Ash commanded Pikachu to thunderbolt the spammers, but not even the cliched attack did not affect them. They just ran away.
I was speechless. Two days in a row. The nerve ! Dawn had to pull me back from chopping off Brock's head in anger. Thank Mew.
To get off our minds from the evil Billys, we went to a restaurant. Not a fancy one - just a Long John Silvers. A fish place. Brock ordered some chicken planks. Ash ordered himself the combo meal. Dawn had some fish. And I had two orders of shrimp and three root beers.
Ash sweatdropped. " Wow, Axletia. You're eating more than I am ! You must be really ticked off about those spammers ! "
" Yeah, I am, Ash. Don't rub it in, either. "
Suddenly, spammers came crashing through our windows, this time, three of them. I pounded my fists on the table. " Damn you, spammers ! Can't you bastards see that I'm trying to eat ?! "
They did the unthinkable. They stole our food.
At that point and time, I declared war on the spammers. There was no turning back. There had to be something done about them.
Like I said, this does mean war. If you are against what is happening to ffnt, please review ! I will show those jerks that spamming does not belong here ! And I will keep this story on until our fellow jack-asses get banned, get thrown in a pit, and f--ing die.