The Story of Spammers

Day Eighteen :

On our way to Sunyshore City, it began to begin weird. As I was listening to Namie Amuro, black pieces of coal began pouring down from the sky. The air became gray and smoky. And Luxio zapped nearby Shellos and Gastrodon. It was a pretty gruesome sight.

Ange turned to Chaos. " Um, Chaos ? Do you have any idea why the Luxio are acting like this ? "

Chaos shook her head. " No. I can check, though. " She turned to the angered Luxio. " Hey, guys ! Any ideas why you're acting like such pissants ? "

They turned to her, as angry as a starving Houndoom. Chaos sweatdropped. " Freezing priest, I didn't mean it that way ! "

SilverUmbra nudged her. " Um...I think this is the part where we start running. "

" I'm way ahead of you ! " GoldenEye said, already fifty feet from the scene.

Emerald giggled. " Wow. The ground type thingie is 'fraid of a bunch of electric types. "

" I AM NOT ! " GoldenEye roared, stomping his foot. " I'm immune ! "

The green eyed girl rolled her eyes. " Oh, please ! You act like a girl when you run away ! If you were any sort of Groudon, you would be hurting electric types. I think you're a phony ! Hey - I think you're a shape - shifting Bibarel ! "

GoldenEye twitched. " I AM NOT A BIBAREEEEEEEL ! "


He punched a Luxio into an oak tree. As more Luxio crept closer towards him, GoldenEye pwned all of them with a Level 10 Magnitude. He was about to do a guillotine, but...

" Are you f--king nuts ?! " Mackenzie demanded. " You'll kill us all ! "

" Especially me ! " Chaos added.

" Well, what the hell am I supposed to do ?! " GoldenEye replied testily, picking at a Luxio. " You know very damn well I can't throw them all in a pit - that's been outlawed since '05. "

ShadowKing shrugged. " It's only illegal if you're caught. I've buried a whole bunch of Swinub last year. Like, seventy - five. Stupid ice pokemon. What have they ever done for the economy ?! "

Kat shook her head. " I say we nu- "

" For the last time, Kat. NO NUKING ! " Ganon hissed.

" never let me have any fun. "

I picked up a Luxio with rubber gloves and shook it. " Okay, you stupid electric thing. You have five seconds to talk or I will hurt you with the power of MSG, capische ? "

It nodded and started talking in a squeaky voice. " Ca - ca - yes. Pl-please don't hurt me ! I WANNA BE A J - POP STAR WHEN I'M OLDER ! "

" Really ? " Cj asked.

The Luxio looked at another of its kind. " That's Kathy. She's married. She's fat and gets various jobs because she's not married. Sorosoro majimeni kekkon no koto kangaenai to na.(translation - I should start thinking seriously about marriage.) I still want to be a J-pop artist, though. "

" Get to the point ! " Blaze exclaimed. " Why are you attacking us and water pokemon ? "

Kura added. " And we want the truth ! "

The Luxio nodded. " Okay, okay. I'm Ecstasy (not the drug,btw!) Lately we've been close to the Shellos and Gastrodon. Until a week ago, we've been like Kanto and Sinnoh. But then, these stuck - up Electivire started to taunt us. It was only three of them, but still..."

" Three ? " Darky-rai repeated. " Are Electivire usually in packs ? "

Rob shrugged. " I have no idea. Aren't you supposed to be an all - knowing legendary ? "

" Noooooo...that's only Giratina. And Arceus. And Mew (when she's not drunk). Doesn't anyone have a pokedex ? "

Kagura nodded. " Yeah. I have a green one ! " she said, picking up her pokedex from her pocket.

The pokedex stirred. " I thought I told you to GO TO HELL the last time I saw your fugly face, you whore ! "

-flips off! - (beep-beep- OFF-)

Kagura threw her pokedex in the river. " Stupid thing. Last time I get anything from K-Mart. "

" Ahem ! "

We all turned around. Emerald's pokemon Diekel Fagson had popped out of his pokeball. His made a pose and grinned. " It may be that Elekid and Electabuzz both travel in packs, usually for alpha - male privileges, but Electivire always seem to travel alone. (Probably because of their pervertedness, but I'm not one to talk.) So...I'd guess that these yellow bandits are phonies. "

" Seriously ? " Ecstasy asked.

Diekel nodded. " Of course. I'm not really a pokemon, you know - I'm a guy that is held captive against his will because a crazy lady wanted me (for my total hotness.) "

" Go back to your pokeball, Diekel, " Emerald coolly replied, her left eye twitching.

Ecstasy licked her paw. " So...are they foreign Diglett ? "

Kura shook her head. " No sign of ground pokemon anywhere around here. Otherwise the whole place would be torn up from here to Sunyshore. "

Ange raised a finger. " Okay, I know it sounds Farfetch'd (lame pun), but I think I know who's the Electivire. It's - "

" Yeah, we know. The spammers, " I butted in.

" Kat...get the nuke machine , " ShadowKing loudly whispered.

(10 : 00 p.m.)

" are we going to catch these guys again ? " Ganon asked. " I do have a wrench with a few lasers fused in it... "

" Aren't you supposed to be the quiet serious nerd ? " Emerald asked.

-.- " Oh, yeah. I do believe I have a portable doom machine in my backpack. It's not programmed yet, but with one push of a cheesy one dollar remote, I can turn anything into ash. "

" Really ? " Emerald inquired. " I've always wanted an Ash Ketchum, too ! He's retarded and smells of ginger ale ! "

O.o " ...what the f--k is wrong with you ?! "

Ange stepped in between them. " I do believe we need to do something here. Or Ecstasy is going to unleash her electrical powers (again). "

Emerald pouted. " Fine. I guess I'll capture an Ash Ketchum when I have free time. "

The stars were already lit up. Darky - rai finally woke up, hitting GoldenEye with a rubber chicken (yeah...I'm scarred for life) . SilverUmbra pawed the ground, looking for any objects to sell on the black market (coughs - eBay). We were all bored and the stupid Electivire had still not shown up yet. Chaos was doing some sort of electric ritual with Ecstasy and all the other Luxio, when...




The spammers. How predictable.

" You know what ? " I said, turning to Ganon. "Just use your doom machine. "

" Gladly. "


(spammers) : X.X

The trees also turned to ash. Ganon scratched his head. " What ? I never said that I perfected the machine. "

-.- " Fine. "

Ecstasy thanked us and then we left. Unfortunately, we saw something horrible as we saw the sign of Sunyshore City.

" closed due to blackout caused by Volkner's fiddlin' "