I've heard so many people say that they wish they had the chance to tell their loved ones goodbye. I wish I could tell them all that they don't. Sure, maybe the ones that said the words "I hate you" a few hours before they were killed would want to. But when they know that you loved them, it's too hard to say farewell. I'm not saying that the few hours I just spent with Bella wasn't the most wonderful time of my life. I'm not saying I didn't appreciate to kiss her again and tell her I loved her a thousand times. But to say goodbye to her, knowing I'll probably never see her face again, was like killing myself. It was worse than the time I told her goodbye in the forest, tearing her heart to shreds. That time was much easier because I knew there could be a possibility of hearing her voice and seeing her smile once again. I knew I could check up on her. But there was no way to do that now. She was gone for good. There was no trace of her left here in my bedroom except for my memories. My angel had - for the now third time - disappeared from my life. I had had my three strikes. I was out of the game.
This was going to be the last time I ever stepped foot in this house. There were too many memories of Bella - they were all wonderful, but, depressing. I couldn't think of all of the times I spent playing her lullaby or dancing with her in my bedroom. It wasn't healthy. I needed to focus on the present. I needed to be there for Charlize. That was Bella's one request, so that became my one and only duty in life. I was going to take care of my daughter.
I decided to take a shower to wash away some of the pain and ... blood. I tried so hard in my mind to block out everything I did. It was something I was going to regret for the rest of my life, although Bella told me not to. But that was just apart of my mind. That was the good part of my brain talking, trying to keep me from thinking I was making me key to Hell and was still a good person. I knew it wasn't true. I was a cold-blooded killer. I kept thinking to myself how a murderer could raise a little girl but, it wasn't any different than Jacob taking care of her. In fact, it was worse for him to keep her. He killed the child's mother, he has no right in her life. I didn't care of I was truly evil inside, I was going to keep my promise even if I had to run away to Antarctica with her. Jacob Black was not going near Bella's little girl.
Thinking of him made me grow full of anger and I ended up punching my fist through the tile, leaving a hole into Emmett's bedroom. Dammit. Esme will kill me for this. She hates it when we break the house. I laughed, remembering the times my sweet faced mother would yell at the guys for breaking the furniture or putting dents in the walls while wrestling. Emmett was "accidentally" pushed Jasper through the wall of Rosalie's bedroom, completely destroying her wall of a mirror. Esme wasn't the only one that was pissed off that day.
After I changed my clothes and burnt my old ones, along with the sofa, I slowly made my way to Bella's house. I didn't go extremely fast, but I wasn't in a hurry. I was trying to clear my head and was failing miserably. Finally I said the hell with it and pushed my legs faster, trying to get to Charlize as soon as possible so I could seal my promise to Bella. I had decided we were going to move far away from Washington, not telling the Pack or anyone else. I wanted to get out of here and I knew that certain people would try to prevent me from taking her. So we needed to go. Soon.
I knew that I was going to have a lot of trouble with my plan the moment I caught the scent of werewolf. Damn all to hell. They had finally decided to come attack me. I was confused though. We were so close to Bella's house. Why would they try taking me down when they knew my family was near? I decided to take the first step, trying to figure out what was going on. "Where are you?" I called, knowing they would hear me. I heard them walking towards me. They were in human form, not ready to attack. That was mildy comforting.
Sam was the first one to come into my eyesight, of course. The leader must always come first. Next was Embry, then Seth, Leah, and I didn't care to identify the others. I was just focused on Sam. "Did you come here to kill me" I asked, getting straight to the point.
"No," Sam said, not showing any sign of explaining his answer. This bugged me. His thoughts weren't even thinking about my actions. Neither were anybody else's. They all seemed to be thinking things to throw me off. It reminded me of Alice. Which meant something wasn't right.
"Why the hell not?" I yelled, not caring to keep my voice quiet. "I think I deserve it."
"Oh you do deserve it," Leah said, taking a step toward me. "You deserve to rot in hell, you son of a bitch."
"Quiet Leah," Sam commanded, keeping his emotions under control. Seth moved closer to Leah to grab her if she did anything stupid.
"She's right though. Why aren't you guys lighting me on fire as we speak?" I wasn't asking them to kill me, but I needed an explanation. A damn good one too.
"Mussina told us not to. She wanted the chance to explain things to you." That wasn't good enough.
"Yeah, that was then. She told me everything I needed to know. So what is your reason now?"
"Why do you so badly want a reason?"
"You know, I always thought werewolves were idiots," I said, getting pissed off. "I thought that was because we're enemies. But you guys are truly stupid. I killed an innocent woman. I tortured one of your own. And you guys don't even make a move on me? Have you guys gone mad or something? Leah is the only one who is thinking straight here." I motioned to her and saw the look of surprise in her face of me talking about her. "She's figuring out ways to kill me. She's actually pissed. The rest of you are calm. Why? I just want to know why you're not attacking me."
"Oh, believe me when I say we are trying our hardest not to kill you," Sam said, taking a step forward. "We would love to see the purple smoke rising from the ground where you stand. We do understand why you decided to go to Jacob's house to kill. Does it make it right? Of course not."
"There!," I said, interrupting him. " You said it. It wasn't right. So why aren't we killed Edward?"
"Will you let me talk?" I breathed in deeply, biting my tongue. Bella was always right. I sucked at letting other people explain things to me. "Jacob killed Bella." I looked away and shut my eyes, trying to push the image of her body out of mind. I heard the remorse in everybody's thoughts, making it worse. "Sorry," Sam said. I looked at him, motioning him to continue. "We know how important you are to Charlize. We also knew of Bella's wishes. She would want you to raise her."
"That's the reason you're not killing me?"
"Yes, it is. Jacob is practically worthless now, thanks to you. We've all ready prevented him from putting a bullet in his head. Not that he doesn't deserve to die just like you do."
"So, Bella was right on the whole imprint thing - one dies the other dies."
"Yeah, that's pretty much the way it works. And, since you didn't try to set yourself on fire when Bella was killed, we see the fact that you need to be the one to take care of Charlize. And don't ask for a better reason, Cullen." The hatred in his voice was finally coming to the surface. "You try to protest, and we change our mind. Understand?"
"And I recommend getting out of Washington," he said.
"I was planning on it."
"Why can't we just hurry up and tell him!" Seth thought, clearly giving away the fact that something was wrong.
"Okay, what's up? Something's not right," I said, directing most of my words toward the youngest of the pack. Everybody turned to glare at him except Sam and Leah, who seemed a bit afraid of something.
"You have to promise you won't attack him," Leah said, almost stealing Sam's thoughts. I looked at him for more of an answer, not wanting to ask another question.
"Think of Charlize," he said before continuing. "Jacob came to see her. That's why we are here, to keep you from making a mistake."
"He is not supposed to be near her," I growled through my teeth.
"We couldn't keep him from his own daughter," Leah said, apparently not caring about anything Sam had just explained to me.
"He killed Bella. He won't be allowed to be in her sight. We need to get him away from her." I started on my way to her house, but Seth and Embry held me back.
"Edward we cannot have another fight," Sam said, coming around us to look into my face. "That's why you can't go in there."
"The hell I can't!"
"If you go in there he will attack."
"Not if he loves Charlize as much as he says he does. Why don't we see who really is the better one here?" I pushed Seth and Embry off me and ran towards the house. I walked through the door before they could stop me and I told them to stay out of the house.
Emmett and Rosalie were in the kitchen, silently talking to each other. Emmett's fists were balled up and it looked like Rose was trying to calm him down. "Edward," she mouthed, shaking her head. I just glared. I walked into the dining room, out of sight of those in the living room, seeing what I had hoped to see. Jacob was sitting in his chair, looking pained, while Charlize wasn't near him. She was sitting next to Esme on the couch, clearly not wanting to be close to her biological father. She was confused, mainly, at why he had been gone and was angry towards him. He hadn't been there for her. At all. Not even for the funeral.
I watched the hair raise on Jacob's arms and heard his thoughts change from trying to figure out why Charlize wouldn't talk to him to anger and hatred towards me. He stood up, clenching his fists, when Carlisle smoothly got up and walked past him, whispering, "Charlize." He didn't relax though, he just told Charlize he'd be back and walked up to me and pushed me out the door. I motioned Rose and Emmett to follow me. I might need a little help if this did turn into a fight.
When we got outside, he tried to throw me down the steps but failed. Instead I landed gracefully on the ground, making him angry. The pack had stayed outside where I left them, and were gathered in a semi-circle around us. Rose and Emmett joined them, not glaring for once. They knew the Pack was on their side. Kind of. "So Edward," Jacob said through his teeth. "Isn't it time for a nice chat?" His words did more damage to me than I thought they would, for he replayed the image of me snapping Carrie's neck in his mind.
"I'm sorry Jacob," I said, "for what I did. You deserved it, but Carrie didn't. I will regret what I did to her for the rest of life."
"Well you won't have that regret for long, because I am going to end your so called sorry life right now."
"No you're not," Sam said, stepping in. Jacob snarled at him, not scaring him off though.
"He killed my wife - "
"And you killed mine," I said, interrupting a sentence I did not want to hear. "Don't you forget that, Black. You killed Bella. You killed your own child's mother."
"And you killed Carrie and her baby," Jacob said, making sure I didn't forget that either.
"DON'T - " Jacob started to shout, but Sam covered his mouth, while Embry, Seth and Paul grabbed his arms and dragged him to the forest. We wanted to be out of hearing range of Charlize. Emmett and Rosalie walked beside me on our way through the trees, and I told Emmett to shut his thoughts up. There was not going to be a fight today.
"Why not?" He said, very angry.
"Because enough blood has been shed," I replied. Rose took my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back.
"LET GO OF ME!!!" Jacob screamed, pushing the guys back so far they slammed into the trees.
"See Jacob!" Sam yelled, his temper finally losing it. "This is exactly what happened when you killed Bella."
"STOP TALKING ABOUT BELLA!! THAT SON OF A BITCH KILLED MY WIFE!!!" Right then, I almost lost it. I ran up to him tackled him down. We struggled on the ground for a bit, but I motioned for Emmett to help me pin him down. We broke his arms so he wouldn't be able to swing at us. "I am not going to kill him!" I yelled at the approaching Pack. I wanted to though. Very badly. But I knew my duty.
I wrapped my hand around his neck, cutting off his ability to speak but not killing him. "Now you are going to listen to me," I said, letting him know through the sound of my voice how much I want to kill him. "You don't want me to talk about Bella but I am going to. I know you loved her Jacob. You took care of her after I left and I will always be eternally grateful for that. You healed her. But you also killed her. I understand the whole imprint thing. Two people meant to be together, they become inseparable. I get the fact that you had to leave Bella. But you could have done it with a bit more grace and love. And you also didn't need to leave Charlize like that."
"That's what this is about?" Jacob choked out. "You're scolding me for abandoning them?"
"Did I say you could talk?" I squeezed a bit tighter, letting him get the message. "I guess we have a bit of a pattern, Jacob Black. I leave Bella, you heal her, you leave her, and then I heal her. I was there for her and Charlize. I prevented Bella from taking her life and brought Charlize out of a depression. I saved both of them. And when you found out that I had taken over for you, you went into a mad rage. You killed the woman you once loved. You tore her body up. And you didn't even have the decency to show up to her funeral to support your daughter. You sick rotten coward.
"I'll always be sorry that I killed your wife. I've apologized to you. I've let it be known that I regret it. But I haven't heard one little sorry from you. I haven't heard in your thoughts any sign of regret of killing Bella. That sickens me more than the memory of snapping Carrie's neck." Jacob let out an agonizing choke, remembering what I did. "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you not like to hear about what I did to her? How do you think I felt when I saw Bella's body in a pool of blood?" He didn't say anything to me, he just glared at me.
"I hate you," he whispered.
"Right back at you, Black." I released his neck and shook my head at him. "Can't do it, can you?"
"I don't need to apologize to you." I grabbed his neck again, this time squeezing tighter. I held my hand up to the Pack, telling them to stay out of it.
"You're right, you don't need to make any apologies to me, just like I didn't apologize to you. I apologized to Carrie. You need to apologize to Bella and Charlize." I loosened my grip enough to let him speak, but he didn't say anything. "It's so sad, Jacob. You really have no love left in your heart for them. It disgusts me."
"You disgust me."
"All you can do is throw insults at me. It's depressing." I let go of him and stood up. "You can release him Emmett." Jacob stood up his arms, still broken so I knew he couldn't hit me. "Did Carrie ever know what you did?" I got nothing but a glare for an answer. "That's what I thought. God, how awful. I really used to think that you were much more of a man than me. I thought you were a much better person. But you're nothing but a coward. In fact, coward doesn't even cover it. You're nothing. You're beneath all of us. You didn't deserve any of the love you have received. I pity you."
I started to walk away, taking Rose by the hand and leading her away from Leah's glare. "So you're just going to leave, you stupid bloodsucker?" Jacob asked. "And you call me a coward."
"I'm sorry," I said. "Did you just call me the coward? I can't think of anything I did to deserve that title. I accepted what I did Jacob. I'll be making amends for it for the rest of my life. You could at least think of trying to do the same thing." I started to walk away again but I stopped. I turned around, looking him straight in the eye and said, "Just so you know, that was the last time you'll ever see your daughter again." And with that I left, ignoring Jacob's yells and the grunts of the Pack restraining him from attacking me. I knew Sam would take care of it and would do whatever he had to with Jacob. I didn't care. He was out of my hands now.
I wished him a long and miserable life.
Author's note: Wow. Is this the longest chapter I've written? I think it might be.. *yawns* I'm tired now. Well, you know the routine! Review please =] They make my day happy. And also, special thanks to StaticMind who helped give me the idea of bringing Jakey Boy in one last time.
Btw, I want you guys to know that I actually do like Jacob a lot.. I just didn't like it when he was trying to steal Bella from Edward. I didn't appreciate that :( But he was fantastic in Breakign Dawn :)