Moko-Chan: Got bored, stressed and so needed to type a humor fic. Okay, somewhat humorous. However, my (self-proclaimed)usual style of thought provoking seriousness is still present. As usual, D.gray-man belongs to Hoshino.

A lady in her late twenties stood near the fountain of a European town, glancing at the clock face on the tower ever so frequently. Her name was Ceres Halrose. She was a rather plain woman, stringy brown hair, freckles, petite and lacking the curves that men sought after. And the most unfortunate was that her status was currently single and unemployed. The state of desperation.

I hope I don't get swindled. She read the flyer which she got from her relative who got it from her friend of a friend again for the fourteenth time.

It read:


Someone who has experience with medical care. Any age and gender is accepted.

Pay per month: Minimum 2000 pounds.

Lodgings and meals are free. No overtime pay. Risk involved.

Please contact: 587-667-337

Ceres called the place because she was tempted by the incredibly high pay. It was five times the market price of what was paid to medical workers. From the call, she got to know that the place which was hiring was a church known as the Black Order. After being asked some questions, the person on the other side of the line arranged a meeting with her to bring her to the church for an interview.

Why would a church want medical workers anyway? It's not like priests do dangerous work. Maybe the Black Order works with an orphanage and they need nurses and doctors for child care. Ceres thought to herself.

As the meeting time drew near, the amount of people walking in the street diminished. It was getting quite late, dusk was falling. Then a figure in a light beige coat with a rose cross emblem approached Ceres. Ceres was quite surprised. The person had a huge phone on his back and he did not look like a priest. The person stuck his hand out.

"Are you Miss Halrose?" The person asked.

"Yes, I am."

"My name is Terrence. I'm from the Black Order. I was instructed to bring you there. Since night is coming, it's better if we hurry."

Ceres had no time to comprehend, agree or disagree to what Terrence was saying before she was dragged off by him.

Ceres nearly died on the spot when she saw that the Black Order was located on a cliff, or rather a narrow column of rock.

"Do we have to climb?" Ceres asked weakly.

Terrence smiled and said that they did not have to. Only certain people have the ability to.

"We enter via a water canal followed by an elevator." The finder explained.

Ceres breathed a sigh of relief while trying to figure out how they fit an elevator in a rock.

Upon arrival, Ceres noticed that the Black Order did not resemble a church. There was definitely a cross but there was no statue of Jesus, the Virgin Mary or anything else that represented Christianity. Instead of priests, she saw people wearing lab coats and beige coats bearing the rose cross, like Terrence.

"Uh… This place is a church, right?" The petite lady asked.

"Yeah. If you're wondering, we do have priests. They're just out doing their job."

Terrence soon brought her to the medical office, where the Head Nurse and Doctor were waiting.

"I'm leaving now. Just go inside." The finder said. After seeing how nerve-wreaked Ceres seemed, he added, "Don't worry. We're not swindlers or anything."

"I'm not worried about that." (Actually she is.)

"Then good luck." Terrence left the area. Ceres knocked on the door and found herself face-to-face with a stern looking middle-aged pair. They eyed her for a while before the Head Nurse instructed her to sit down.

Ceres can't help but notice that both the Nurse and Doctor were muscular, very muscular, comparable to a farmer who had been tilling soil for years. Most of the medical workers she worked with before were never of this build.

Then the questions came.

"Name and age?"

"Ceres Halrose. 27 years."

"Medical experience?"

"3 years medical school and 5 years as a nurse in the Olive Hospital. Uhh… It closed down a month ago and I lost my job." Ceres added sheepishly. The Heads seemed to ignore that fact and continued the questioning.

"Health problems?"


"Oh, excellent. A healthy person. Have you dealt with troublesome patients before?"

"Yes. A few. Those who refuse to listen to the doctor's advice."

"Good. How about troublesome children?"

"I had a few of those." Ceres was now more convinced then ever that the Black Order worked with an orphanage. Why else would they ask about my experience with children?"

"How do you deal with shock?"

"I know how to do counseling…"

"No, no. I mean your shock. If we told you something very shocking, how would you deal with it?"

"Um… Pretty well, I guess. I dealt with a lot of set backs before." Ceres answered, getting increasingly puzzled by the second.

"Wonderful." Then the Nurse and Doctor proceeded to tell her about the Earl, Akuma, Exorcists and the Holy War.

"Here, this is for you." The Nurse passed her a piece of paper. The Doctor had left, leaving the Nurse to teach Ceres the ropes.

Ceres took the paper in a bit of shock.

"Do you not believe us?"

"Um..not really." It would definitely explain why some of our patients disappeared, leaving only their clothes behind. But it's still too preposterous to believe completely.

She looked at the piece of paper, only to find that it was not a working schedule, but a training schedule. Push-ups, laps, sit-ups… it was a work-out schedule for Body-building! Not to mention a self-defense lesson was included.

"Umm…. What's this? Aren't I going to be a nurse?" Though this would explain why the Nurse is so well-built.

"Of course you are, but only after 3 months of this training. You'll be dealing with patients more troublesome than you have ever encountered." The Head Nurse explained. She took out a few photos from underneath the desk.

"Now, listen carefully. The types of employees you would eventually face are the finders, Scientists and the Exorcists. The finders are not the problem here. They are more than happy to be treated, you just need to know how to deal with serious injuries and in some cases, death."

Ceres gulped. She handled dying patients before and it was not a pleasant experience. But all in all, it was fine.

"Next, the Scientists. Injuries are usually rare but exhaustion is not. They are generally workaholics who survive on caffeine. Thus, this weakens them and they fall prey to common ailments. Their problem is that they need to work overtime and thus refuse to take their medicine and rest. A good headlock and a kick in the back of the knees usually work well enough."

"Is that why we have a self-defense class?"Ceres asked.

"Yes. But we teach more of tackling techniques though. Now, the most troublesome bunch of patients are the Exorcists. Injuries to them are more common than the common cold so after a while they neglect their injuries." The Head nurse lined the photos up on the desk. "However, they all can be handled with the right methods."

Oh my god… Ceres thought to herself. Maybe I'll work here for just a while. This place is like a nuthouse.

"Let's start from the least troublesome. First up, the Generals." Ceres was shown the photos of four adults, one old man, a flaming red-haired handsome man, a scary looking one and a scarred woman who would have been beautiful if not for the scars.

"They occasionally forget about getting treated, however, the good part is that they usually return unscathed. If they return at all, that is. But most of the times, they allow themselves to get treated."The Nurse glanced at Ceres and added, "No offense, but fortunately for you, I don't think you'll attract the attention of General Cross." She pointed at the picture of the red head. "Or I'll have to teach you how to defend yourself."

"None taken."

The nurse moved the photos away and showed Ceres a few more.

"Noise Marie, Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotto." The picture of a tanned man, a pale vampirish looking one and a mousy looking woman were shown. "They accept treatment when reminded. Not much of troublemakers at all. Except that sometimes Arystar and Miranda's continuous apologies and thank you's can be a bit nerving."

"Diasya Barry and Bookman. These two can be a bit troublesome because they find treatment unnecessary. Especially Bookman who says he is somewhat a doctor himself. However, they are both small, so they can easily be dragged to the ward."

"Isn't it kind of humiliating?" Ceres asked.

"Yes. It is definitely embarrassing to drag an adult to the ward. However, treatment and rest is required."

I meant humiliating for them.

The Nurse then displayed the picture of four youths. "These," the Nurse paused dramatically, "are the most problematic."

Ceres looked at the photos. They showed an Asian girl with her hair in two tails, a teenage boy with an eyepatch and crimson hair, a rather pretty boy who looked like the type to dislike smiling and a cute white haired boy with a scar down his face.

"First, Lenalee." The Head Nurse pointed at the girl's picture. "She's very polite and kind. However, sometimes, the war gets the better of her and she would forget about herself. So, no brute force is needed here, just encouragement and persuasion. And you must be very tactful, she's very fragile, poor child."

Poor child. Fighting at such a tender age. Ceres sympathized with Lenalee.

"Second, Lavi. He can be very reckless at times so injuries are inevitable. If he refuses treatment," The Head Nurse pulled out a glove that resembled a Panda's claws, "Hit him in the head with this. If that does not work, use two."

Ceres gaped. "Wouldn't that cause more injuries?"

"We're treating them afterwards, so it doesn't matter. Thirdly, Allen Walker." Ceres could not imagine the white-haired boy causing any problems. He looks so sweet. Ceres thought.

"He's sweet as sugar. However, he cares a lot about others and always requests that we treat the others first even if he's suffering major wounds. As for him," The Head Nurse pulled out a mallet and an expensive bottle of Merlot, "Somehow, this combination scares him. Once he freaks out, it is easier to get him to listen to you. If you're wondering, we discovered this by accident."

Maybe it was childhood trauma? Ceres thought, a little amused.

"Lastly, Kanda Yuu. You don't have to worry much about treating his injuries. He heals fast for reasons I'm not allowed to say. Once he returns from any mission, he is to be allowed to return to his room for some time unless he is suffering from major blood loss of something equivalent."

"Why does Kanda have to return to his room?"

"Something personal. Anyway, the issue is after treatment. There was one time he jumped out of the window of the hospital ward after a false intruder alert while still having injuries. We scolded him afterwards. Usually, he refuses to stay in the ward so we had to exploit a fatal weakness of his."

"And that would be?"

"He can't defend against attacks from the back. So we usually can drag him back after an arm or headlock. Pulling the ear works too." The Head nurse then kept all the photos. She looked at Ceres with a stern eye.

"Do you understand now?"

"Somewhat." Ceres said reluctantly.

"If you think you're unsuitable for the job, you are allowed to leave." The Head Nurse said.

"Why do you want to become a Nurse here?" Ceres asked.

"Me? I came because the pay was high."

Like me.

"However, after sometime, I realised that the people here are fighting to protect those who don't even know them. And so I thought it was only right for me, as part of the medical field, to protect the Black Order members. Especially since some of them are only children. And they are already tools of war." The Head Nurse smiled but sadness was reflected in her eyes.

Ceres pondered about the Head Nurse's words for a while and said, "I'll work here for a while then."

"Then I'll show you your lodgings."

Ceres personally thought that she would be out of the Order in a Month's time. The pay is worth five months after all. However, after meeting and dealing with the troublesome patients and children, she didn't think that this job was too bad at all.

She stayed and became one of the strongest members of the Black Order. A nurse from the medical team.

Moko-Chan: I must be stressed… I'm writing weird things. Anyway, please review. I know this story's falls under the crap category.