Notes: Edward's point of view.
Title: The Future of Despair
Pairing: Edward/Jasper
Fandom: Twilight series; Poison universe
Theme: #19 – red
Words: 299 words
Disclaimer: The Twilight series isn't mine in any way, and I don't make any money from writing any of this. Although, the plot line this is based on is mine.

The Future of Despair

It was the image of seeing him cold and dead beneath me which stalled me the first time. But even I had to recognize how fruitless it was for me to keep trying, not only to keeping him human, but to keep the others from siding with him. It would was... easier if I admitted it, and chose to do it myself. At least this way... I would be able to spare him some pain.

The last thing that I wanted was to cause him pain, and I knew that I would, no matter how gentle or careful I was. He, for whatever reason, desired to be one of us even though he knew of the tortures and horrors which would await him when he made that cross.

I had to admire that courage that bravery, as misplaced as it was in him. Not many people have the strength to make that decision and live with it; much less follow through with it. But I loved him, and that was why I would be willing to change him myself.

Charlie could do it, just like how he'd turned Rosalie and me, but that didn't sit too well with me. I knew he wanted it to be me. Jasper wanted it to be my blood which choked the life from him. It was a sick and twisted thing to do to someone who you loved, and I didn't know if I could live with that choice.

I needed time before I could go through with that, which was why I'd promised him that I would go through with it at a later time.

Jasper needed to see more of life, maybe then he'd change his mind, though I knew deep down that it was just wishful thinking on my part.