Shipping: ComaShipping–Paul x Ash
A/N: Oh wow, I might end up with 100 reviews. Thanks a lot, you guys!

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Oh Arceus, this was hilarious. ...Well, it was a bit scary too, but hilarious nonetheless. Paul continued to gaze at him and clasped both of his hands together.

"Well then," He began, smiling ever-so slightly. "You know what I came for, dear. Chop chop." And, for an added effect, he clapped his hands and blew the other a kiss.

Ash glared down at his rival and readjusted his apron. Just his luck–of course asshole had to show up at the Maid Café. And it was also his luck that he was dressed in this ridiculous outfit.

Having his so-called 'rival' flirt with him, too, was an added in-your-face! bonus. ...if there had been a knife nearby, Ash would've plunged it straight into Paul's pretty little face.

"Actually, you're the one with a pretty face, Ashley." Paul said, tilting his head so he could rest his cheek in his palm.

...Apparently he could read minds. Ash, without saying another word, turned around and stomped off to find Spring.

And Paul watched him the whole time. More specifically, he watched the teen's ass (even though, really, he couldn't see anything because of that frilly dress). Sadly, Dawn walked in his line of vision, causing him to scowl.

He was ignored. But eh, didn't really matter, there was new eye-candy in town. Paul's eyes were now on the coordinator; mmyes, she looked good in that outfit too. For a ten-year-old, she had a nice figure...

"Just what are you looking at, Paul?" Ash(ley) asked, flying over to him, silver platter in hand. "And here's your coffee."

"Bitch, I don't want coffee. Reggie drinks shit like that."

"Reggie...?"

Oh, that's right. Ash(ley) didn't know about his brother. "Never mind. Thanks anyway..." He reached forward and snatched at the cup. Paul gazed into it; now, what he really wanted was some hot cocoa.

Ash slid onto the bench across from him. "Why the hell are you here?"

Paul took a sip and instantly gagged. "This is nasty!" He cried, quickly descending into one of his tantrums. He threw the cup at Ash, "I'm not paying for that, Ashley! It's disgusting."

"It's Ash. And why the hell did you toss that at me? You got me wet!"

All bitching ceased immediately once those words were said. Paul fixed his eyes on him. He was wet...how convenient. And ironic.

Ash glowered, "Are you just going to sit there and look at me?" He asked, pointing a finger at him. "I'll tell Brock and Dawn what you did!"

Oooh, Paul was shivering in his nonexistent boots. Bull. And Ash was getting a little mouthy. "Feh, if you want me to help you clean up, then I'll help."

"Exactly." He slipped off the bench and stood up, "Okay, let's–ah, what the heck are y-you doing?" Ash stammered as Paul grabbed his arm and began to drag him off.

Paul just grinned, "I'm going to escort you, milday..." He answered back in a casual tone.

"B-but...would you stop treating me like a girl?"

"Stop whining."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"You bitch like a girl, d'you know that?"

"I'm not a girl."

"Hm, really? But just before you said you were wet."

"Yes, because I was wet. Now I'm sticky."

Paul wanted to throw himself into the wall. But, instead, he continued to drag his little Ashley along, looking for the bathroom.

"You're hurting my arm, do YOU know that?"

"Don't mock me."

"Then GTFO my arm."

"Ash, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to rape you."

There was a bit of silence.

"Really?"

"You're really pushing it, Ash."

"You really wouldn't do that to me, would you?"

"Sweet talk and making adorable faces doesn't work on me, Ashley. Say one more word, I dare you."

More silence. And this time, Paul really though Ash had STFU'd for good.

But, of course, he was wrong. Because once they stepped into the bathroom...

"I bet you wouldn't."

"Get your ass into that fucking stall. NOW."

"But!"

"Now."

"...alright."