Hello. This is Myew-chan's sister again. I am writing lame crack 'cause I'm bored. I actually started this one a while back, but got lazy and had it postponed for a few months.
DISCLAIMER: I dun own anything OF COURSE.
WARNING: There are lots o' stuff like 'san's and 'chan's and 'shotas' and etc. There will also be lots of weird yaoiish stuff. Crack pairings. Shoutaconish stuff I think. Yea. Lets see...in this chap, there is MayaxManfred, MayaxPayne(!?),GregoryxEma, ManfredxMiles(..), etc. Yeah. I was thinking of putting NickxMiles later buuuut that's if I ever continue this story at all.
IT'S TRUE! I never planned on continueing this fic. If I get enough reviews thoouuuugh, maybe.
NO FLAMES PLZ. FLAMERS CAN GO DIIIIEEEEEEEEE. Since this is crack, I guess it doesn't matter, but I get really offended by flames. D:
Once upon a time in a land faaar faaar away. In an AU land...
Manfred the giddy school girl skipped happily to school with a cheerful smile on his face. "Ladidaaaaa, today is the daaaay!!" He sang giddily as he giddily waltzed into his giddy homeroom. Giddily.
"Hee hee hee!" He laughed in his gruff voice. "My most wonderful companion, have you seen the latest CD?" Manfred's best friend, Gregory, nodded as he pushed up his glasses. "Indeed. Maya's popularity sure has sky-rocketed since her last debut." The manly school girl nodded in agreement. "She IS the hottest punk guy ever after all!!"
After that day of manly giddiness, Manfred went home to his wonderful rich house. He sniffed the rich roses and inhaled the air of richness around him. Franziska, his younger...relative, ran towards him. "Hey big relative! How was school?" Manfred showed his terrifying happy face to the little girl. "It was EXCELLENT. More WONDROUS than ANYTHING you could ever IMAGINE." Franny flinched.
As day quickly became night, Manfred's cute pink cell phone started to ring. 'dun dun duunn DUUUN dunDUUNDUN . . .DUNDUN. DUNDUN' "Hello?" "MANFRED this is an emergancy!" Freddy's eyes widened in anticipation. "What is it, old chum!?" "It's...it's...I just found out...I'm related to...the Feys!" GOSH how could this be!? Freddy's best friend...was related to the one and only FEY FAMILY!! "Oh em GEE. I must meet Maya! I must! I have posters of her all over my walls!" Greggy nodded in agreement. "Yes indeed."
Anyhow, after the spaz attack...Freddy decided to sleep and wake again in the morn. "YAAAWN." He yawned in his godzilla yawning voice. "Today, I will meet my one true love. The one and only...Punk rockstar...Maya Fey!! She even entrances the spirits of dead politicians!" Sparkling with joy, he quickly slipped into his sailor fuku and flew out the door.
"Franny! Franny my dear! What did you make me for breakfast?" Franny looked at him from the kitchen and stared for a second. "..I made waffles." And indeed, on the table was...waffles. They towered to the ceiling! Such wonderful waffles! Covered from top waffle to bottom waffle with pure Aunt Oldbag syrup. Manfred licked his manly lips and whispered, "Come to papa you heck of a waffle you..."
How scarred for life Franny was, seeing Manfred eat food every day. It truly was a frightening scene...well, anyhow, school went by quickly and Manfred went home with Gregory.
"How's your younger sibling, my dear friend?" Greg pushed his glasses up. "He's as siblingish as usual. Emitting the light of sibling glory in its gloriest moments." Manfred smiled. He enjoyed looking at the young...shotavictim-I mean sibling-of Gregory's.
After entering the wonderful Edgeworth...shackapartmenthomething...Manfred looked at young Miles. "Hello." Miles cringed. Freddy turned back to Greggy and smiled in that frightening way he smiles. "So, where's Maya Fey?" "In the living room." Now Freddy was getting reeaaally excited.
Entering the living room...it was her. THE Maya Fey. In the flesh. Right before him...amazing. WOOAH. "HELLO!" He shouted aloud. Maya turned to him. "HIYA!" She spoke in her normal speaking tone. A blush came across Manfred's terrifying face as he smiled while twitching his left eye. "I am your BIGGEST FAN. And also, I think you're hawt." Maya smiled. "That's so sweeet!...I think?" She began contemplating her thinking track.
Beside her was another beautiful manwomanthing. Though in Manfred's seeing eye view, only Maya was the pretty one. This other lady was named Mia Fey. And was Maya's older sister. Who was contemplating Maya's state of sanity. Regardless of her existance, Manfred began chatting with the rockstar of his dreams...about shoes. And panda cookies.
Maya had taken an interest in the cool Manfred von Karma, so she decided that perhaps...he was...a love interest!? Having no taste in men(including how she had a crush on the steel samurai when younger..), she decided OK. Punk rockstar Maya Fey would go out with ugly school girl Manfred.
Back at school, the groups of manly school girls screeched in jealousy as they heard the news. Manfred had gotten with THE Maya Fey! "I'm so envious of you Manfred-chan!" "Yes! Me toooo!" Matt and Juan whimpered as Manfred skipped off with his new hot date.
"-and then he went BAMYUUUN!!" Maya enthusiastically waved her arms around as Manfred watched in ecstacy. They held hands and skipped through flowery fields with hearts flying around them. "OOooewwwweeeeEEEEeeayaaaaaaSAAAAA!"
After returning home, they turned on the TV and sat together on the couch. Maya pet Manfred's hair while whispering, "Wow Freddy, your hair is so sooft." Manfred giggled. "Yaaan! Your so seeexy when you whisper like tha!" Strangely enough, Manfred's deep voice saying such a thing didn't quite faze Maya at all.
Maya walked Manfred home after that and left. When Manfred skipped into the reading room, he found Franny reading some manga on the couch. "Fran Fran!! What are you reading if I may ask?" She looked up. "Ah! Older Relative! I was reading 'How to whip an older person'!" Freddy pat her on the head. "Good good, Fran Fran! After your done, go whip some bystanders for me, alright?" "Yeah yeah!" Franziska giggled and continued reading.
When returning to bed, Manfred never would have guessed the horrible news that awaited him the next day. DUN DUN DUUUUN!! D:
Manfred waved to Greggy that morning as usual. "Hey Grego-" "MANFRED." ..."...what is it?" "I have terrible news!" Manfred's face contorted. "What can it be??" Gregory's face turned very serious. "It's..it's Maya. Maya..she-" Manfred grabbed Greg's shoulders and screamed, "WHAT ABOUT MAYA!? SPEAK UP MY FELLOW COUNTRYMAN!!" Greggy squeaked. "Maya's fallen in love with another!!" GASP. Manfred's face contorted some more as he let out his anger. "GUUUUAAAAARRRRARARRARAARRARAAAA"
After bashing his head on the nearby wall a few times, he stomped aaaall the way to the Fey manor. "Maya! What is the meaning of this!?" Maya blinked as she walked out of some room, nicely decked in black leather with her guitar strapped over her back. "Huh? Oh. Freddy! I'm so sorry but I-" "No! I won't hear it! Now tell me! Who is this other woman you've fallen for?"
Maya held back her tears as she gasped the name of her new lover. "Her name...it's...Winston Payne!" Mia, who was also in the hallway at the time, almost hurled when hearing Maya say that name. Manfred clenched his fists in anger. "GUAAAARGH!! PAYNE THAT...THAT..GRRRRRR!!"
Anyhow, Manfred walked to Gregory's house while being angsty and emo. When walking in, something caught his eye. "Gregory, old chum. Who's that?" Greg pushed up his glasses."This is my new boygirlthingfriend. I just caught em shipped in this morning."
It ended up that Gregory was now dating someone by the name of...Ema Skye. He picked her up at the science museum and they got together...somehow.
Ema smiled at them and waved. "Hiiiii! You must be Manfred! I heard about you from my dearest Greg" She smiled in a somewhat insane manner. Manfred held up a thumbs up towards his great buddy and grunted, "You caught a pretty good one there." Greg pushed up his glasses as a response.
Ema suddenly stood up and gawked at him. "Omg...do you like SCIENCTIFIC EXPERIMENTS!?" "I'm sorry, but I'm not into science." Ema's expression after that reply turned into something between shock and the verge of tears. "H-how can anyone not like science...I...I'll try to get along with you Manfred but...I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO HEAR ANYONE DENY SCIIEEEEEEEEEENCEEEEEEE!!" She ran out the door sobbing, breaking a few pots on the way out. "Look what you've done Manfred. My girlfriend just left because of you." "I AM SORRY COMPANION, but I am not a liar!" Greg nodded. "I suppose you only did what you had to."
A few minutes after that strange occurence, Miles walked into the room. Upon seeing Freddy, fear crossed his face and he turned to leave. Just then, Manfred called out, "Oh! Little Miles! It's good to see you again!!" Miles turned slowly and tried to avoid eye contact. "Uh...huh..." Greg pushed up his glasses in a dissapointed manner. "Miles, that's no way to treat a guest!" Miles let out a sound of discontent and said, "Sorry...uh..." He looked up at Manfred, still avoiding eye contact. "..Hi."
When looking at Miles for a second time that day, something came across Manfred. That young boy...was awfully...something Manfred couldn't explain with words. He just wanted to tackle and do non-consensual things to that young boy right then and there.
Unfortunantly for Manfred, Miles sort of figured out what he was thinking when looking at that...expression on Manfred's face. Miles started panicking and ran into his room. Greg pushed up his glasses. "I wonder what that was all about." Manfred sighed and looked at Greg, saying, "You know, old chum...I suddenly find your young sibling extremally attractive and would like to molest him someday." Greg was taken aback by Freddy's coment. "Uhh...you do know that he's only in elementary school, right?" Manfred stood in an abnormaly dramatic position at that moment. "Of course I know that. I know this love is forbidden! BUT I CAN CROSS ANY BOUNDARY FOR I AM MAAANFREEED!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHGHHH!!
And that's it for chapter one. THX FOR READDDINNNNGGGGG. XP And have a nice day. Since I like to rant, I will rant. The only fics I'm decent at writing are CRACK FICS. YEAH. And since I like yaoiish stuff, I put that in there! So yeaaaah. Review if you feel like it and go have a niiiice daaaaaaaaaay.