Hiya. I have returned from the depths of hell just to bring you more MANFRED! Actually, the reason why I suddenly had a desire to update again was because of my recent obtaining of...Apollo Justice. And just to let you know, I don't think Justice is a stupid name! Common! JUSTICE! HE'S so full of JUSTIIIIICE!!!! Like Justice Justice in Doujin Work. He is pure JUSTICE!! Yeah. Anyhow, beware of this chapter's excessive shotaness and crack. I recently watched Boku no Pico, so my scarred mind now knows no bounds!! AHA. I only write happy rated E stuff though, so it's safe to say I won't go that faaaar.
DISCLAIMER: The only thing I own is my own pair of socks.
WARNING: Crack. And LOTS OF IT. I think. To tell the truth, I think my crack skills have diminished since last chapter, so you might not find as much of it as you did before. Though I personally think my writing style has improved...I dunno. I guess that's for YOU the READER to decide!!! XXXXXDDDDDXDXDXDXDXDXD. Yeeeah. And also, this chapter is NOWHERE NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE LAST, in my opinion. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. (PS. There's also some Manfred coming on to Miles in this chappy. URRRGH THE SCENE BURNS MY EYELIIIDS. Yeah, it makes me cry too.)
RANT: Oh yeah, by the by, this chap doesn't have as much Manfred, so it isn't as crackful. It's mostly DRAMA! Oh dear lord! Drama! Yes I said drama! I think. I think it's drama. But don't take it seriously. You shouldn't take anything seriously in this fic. Edgeworth's terribly traumatizing life with drama and soap opera plot devices in it! Oh yes, I also have an APOLLO JUSTICE character in this chappy. I'll be throwing more of those later...I can't help it! They too lovable!! I assure you I'll try making more crack in the next chapter though. If there is one. I might forget I said that though. Since I keep forgetting the names of all the side characters in the game! My memory is that baaad! I just remember those guys from the last case I finished! You know, like Machi and friends. UUuu-- Maybe I'll throw in some side characters next chapter. Maybe more Manfred victims...but Manfred only has eyes for Miles! Or does he... Anyhow, hope you enjoy this chapter. It's preeetty uncreative, I know. Maybe it'll be better next time. This one DID focus on Miles after all. No wonder there isn't any good action! Hmm, it might also be focusing a bit on Manfred's...pedoness. I should put more Ema huh! I already finished typing this up though, so no Ema for you! Maybe next time! With some Lana too, maybe!! ;D
That was when it all began. Manfred's lust for young adorable boys...
An unhealthy hobby had just been born!
He was sweating like a buff wood chopper who had just spent a day in the sun shopping onions that make a grown man's glands cry BUCKETS. Of course, Gregory was a bit unnerved by the sight. But oh well! This is Manfred! It is perfectly normal for him to be a freaky weirdo!! He did have to say something though, so he did.
"Manfred...My younger brother is but a grade schooler! You can't molest him until he's in high school! No, scratch that, you can't molest people period!" His glasses shined like a spacecraft heading straight towards area 27 at the ludicrous speed.
In reply, the Manfreddy just continued to sweat and let out his over sized laughter. "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! I DON'T MIND IF HE IS PETITE. It is enough. I WILL NO LONGER LOOK AT HOT GUYS LIKE MAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
It was obvious he had been broken up by that terrible breakup with the hot Fey. Gregory sighed in defeat and said, "Oh alright, I suppose you can molest my chibi brother. Just don't let him know I said that." The glasses caught wind of those words and started making hideous creaking noises. In the end, everything turned out alright though and Freddy headed home.
Upon arriving, he spotted Franny on the porch, watering the lizards. "Oh Fran Fran. I see you're scaring off those pesky lizards again."
"Yes brother, they were congregating again today."
"OHOOOOOOOHOOOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Those silly lizards! They should have learned by now that if they come, we will water them!"
Anyhow, Freddy skipped to his room and tore off all the Maya posters. Tears shot out of his eyes like guns and splattered against the floor in big glorp like sounds. As the posters hit the floor, his tears began to become dry. "Oh Maya. I thought our love would last, but now I know...IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO LAAAAAAAAAAST!!!! UUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Outside the door, Franziska flinched as she attempted to mop the halls now filled with the leaked fluids from Manfred's room.
It was a lovely day. Sunlight shined towards a window, but was barred out by those dreaded curtains. A shake fist from the sun shook at curtains and cried out, "CURSE YOU CURTAIIIINSS!!!!" The curtains just laughed and smirked in a cocky fashion. "You can't beat me SUN! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!LOLZOLOZLZOZLOLOLOLOZLOLZOZZwwwww!"
Miles was huddled up on his plain bed, gasping as he tried to comfort himself. What a dreadful nightmare...Any dream with that man in it must be a nightmare...
Scuffling out of his bed, he proceeded to get dressed in his tidy school uniform. After brushing out his hair and making sure he was neat and presentable, he decided it was about time to have breakfast. Walking into the room, he noticed Onee-chan cooking up some hot cereal.
"Oh, Miles. Good morning." He stated, glasses glimmering in the light.
Miles nodded in return and received his bowl of cereal. Munch, he munched. Munch munch. After a decent munching, the adorable Miles took his backpack and said goodbye to his elder sibling. It was always best to leave the house early, since if he didn't...A shudder suddenly ran up his spine. That friend of big sibling's...Ugh!! As poor Miles shook his head, as if trying to shake off that feeling of disgust, he felt disgusted, as he couldn't shake off the disgust of seeing what he was disgusted at in his mind being disgusting.
His pace quickened, and he stayed at that pace until finally arriving before the school building. Whenever he was at school, life seemed good! Until something bad happened. Then it went back to sucking real bad. Miles entered his tiny elementary school class which he will someday realized is much smaller than he thinks it is. (That's what happened to me..) And what does he see there? A familiar face! FRIENDS! "Oh, hi Miles!" said nice boy Phoenix, who happened to have a pretty not so seen around these days name. "It's Miiilessss!!!" said stupid boy Larry, who Miles was quite sure had a low IQ. AND SO THEIR FRIENDSHIP PROSPERED.
Miles laughed as he spent quality NORMAL time with his friendship buddies. It was nice. He could actually believe life was nice until he got home...and remember that people like Manfred exist...Classmate girl Franziska always got angry when he mentioned things like that, but she just doesn't want to admit it herself. Surely she can't possibly live with that Manfred guy and be CONTENT with it! That's crazy!
"Someday, I'll have underclassmen that I can be respected by!" said Nick.
"Someday, I'll be really hot and have aaaall the girls to myself!" said Larry.
"You're an idiot." said Miles. He said that a lot.
That was an excerpt of their happy lives. But it won't be happy for long! 'Cause Manfred's coming to town, and he knows whether you've been naughty or normal, since he's the one molesting kids around the block! DUN DUN DUUUNNN.
After school, Miles split up from his friends and exited his safe haven, only to have the worst walk home of his life...It all started that walk home from school...It was a normal walk, as if it was yesterday, being normal and all. He was going around the block, and suddenly MANFRED APPEARED! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH--MmMmph!!!--" The Manfred had grabbed Miles...OH GOD, thought Miles, WHY MUST THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!???
The Manfred dragged Miles into a corner, his already frightening smile cracking into an especially frightening one. "Now now sibling of Greggy! This won't hurt a bit!!!!!!!" (A/N, no, this isn't going to be graphic molesting just to let you know. This fic is rated T after all! I think.)
Miles managed to get the hand off his mouth and he screamed for help! "W-WRIIIIGHT!!! OH GOD HELP!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, of course he calls for Nick's help. He can't trust his elder sibling any more and Larry's an idiot.
Of course, no one came to help! Manfred began making his way towards stealing Miles' virginia and was quickening his pace too! Oh dear! What a fearful school girl he was. The scariest part was that he was still wearing his sailor fuku!
Far away, a flower petal was about to fall off of its stem. Dramatically. In a close up zoom in. But no! It prevaaaails!!!
Miles got home in a mess, breathing heavily while he was at it too. "Onee-san!!!" Gregory, upon hearing Miles' despairing voice, rushed over in a calm and slow manner. He gave Miles that look that was saying, Yes what is it I know whats going on I'm conspiring with your enemies and I don't care.
"I...I was assaulted on my way home from school! And I know you're conspiring with the assaulter! You're just that sort of person after all!" He scoffed and turned his head away from his elder sibling. "I'm going to move out! Go somewhere safe and away from YOU and you're HIDEOUS PEDOPHILIC FRIEND who should GO TO HELL by the way!!!" It was evident that poor Edgey was quite messed up after that previous confrontation.
Gregory seemed shocked. "But young sibling of mine!--"
"NO! I'll have none of it!"
"You know that you can't live on your own!"
"Yes I can! Wright lives his life in a cardboard home, so I can too! Especially with the help from rich associates!"
"You have no rich associates!!!"
"Why YES I DO as a matter of fact!" Now Edgey was grinning. Oh god, he has rich acquaintances. Gregory won't get out of this easily.
It just so happened another boy was in the room besides Edgey. He was quite adorable. Miles grinned some more. "I met him on the way back today! He's the one who rescued me from that ferocious demon of a woman!"
Gregory was sweating bullets! Really small bullets! About two every twenty seconds! "But!-- That is-- Wait--"
"HOLD IT!" Announced the young not prosecutor, "You don't have the right to speak to me anymore! I'm running away! And I'm not coming back to this wreck of a home!" He then dashed into his room, dashing right back out a few minutes later with a large suitcase following behind. "Good bye sibling, and good riddance! I'm sure you think the same!"
Upon Edgey's announcement, the other boy, a blonde character from Apollo Justice, smiled and allowed his glasses to completely absorbe Gregory's essence in it's entirety. "Hoho, I am that pwnage after all. Fear me."
And Gregory feared him. He was that cute I mean sexy scratch that, menacing.
This was the power of Kristoph! That one blonde classmate of Edgey's who is actually in a different class and is quite the adorable little feller!
Yes yes, this chapter ain't too exciting foo. Just wait till the next one! Which will come out maybe in 2010. Maybe. Or later. I might completely lose interest in this series by then though! Aaaargh! Ah well, that's YOUR problem, not mine if you actually like this fic and want more. HAHA I laugh at you people. In a friendly way.
Thank you for reading. If you don't like, don't say you don't like.
And I don't mind if no one reviews. I never review either, so I know how you feel. D: (If you DO review, then I might know how you feel.)
If anyone has any ideas for crack in next chappy that might not exist, feel free to put ideas in your reviews. I dunno. Though I have a tendency to forget what you guys say. I know it's sad! But I'm thinking of putting Principle GANT in the next chapter...he is pretty frightening after all. OOooh, and maybe Gumshoe! The uh....janitor! Or something.
And also, as a bonus, have a oneshot AU of this already AU fic as a present for actually clicking on this fic.
ONESHOT: The Movie
It was raining, HARD. The plitter plattplatts of the pouring droplets attacked the window as if the window was a free PS3. They didn't mean to hurt it, bit it broke its heart nonetheless.
Maya sat in her velvet chair, her hand over her bulging gut. She patted it, rubbed it, and then started massaging it while humming the Steel Samurai theme song. The second one of first season. Her lacy dress was touching the floor as she wasted precious time. It didn't matter to her though, since she had plenty of time to spare.
"Maya! Maya! I bought you your bologna!" It was Mia. She came by every day, or atleast, every day she could 'afford the time to come' so that she could care for her cute little sister. "I'm sure you were getting hungry! Since you're usually so hungry, I brought you extra, along with a pound of string cheese!"
Maya smiled as she turned to face her beloved sister. "Thank you. I do love them string cheese after all!" When the bag of goods was placed in her arms, the not so think Maya laughed and smiled some more. "It's hard being pregnant when your a punk rock star! I'm sure all the ladies miss me!"
Mia smiled kindly as her eyes darted in a different direction. "Well, I'll be going now...don't want to impose on your hospitality after all!!" She was about to dash out of the house when Maya suddenly fell to the floor.
"OH GOOD LOOORD! THE PAAAAIN!!! MIAAA HEELP MEEEEEEEE!!! UUUUUUURRRRRRGGGHHH!!!"
A twitch came to Mia before she ran up to Maya, looking concerned. "Maya! Argh! The worst things always happen at the worst times!" She ran out the door and called over Sir Skye from across the street.
Sir Skye, upon being informed, rushed in and took a good look at Maya. "We should take her to the hospital. She should be giving birth any hour now."
"Hour you say..."
"We have no time!" Skye hoisted the screaming Maya into the air and carried her out of the house at an inhuman rate. Placing her in the van, Mia dived into the passenger seat while Skye manned the driving one. "To the hospital!"
The van started moving at a speed that would surely break some laws. But it was okay. Since Skye had power. Not just inhuman power, but political power as well. Along with powers that let her break laws.
Mia sighed in what seemed like relief. "Oh Lana, I don't know what I'd do without you!"
"Yes, I know." replied Skye. Oh, she knew.
Sooner or later, they arrived at the hospital. Skye, once again, used her inhumna strength to carry Maya and dash at 300 MPH all the way to the emergency room. The nurses were running all over the place when seeing Maya! She was famous after all! But first was first, and they needed to get that baby out of her before it was too late!
"Doctor Stiles! Quick! A pregnant punk rock star Maya Fey needs your help delivering her child!"
"Did you say Fey!? I'm on it right away, Nurse Angela!"
The procedure went quickly and the baby shot out of Maya like a missile. Or something. It was actually quite terrifying.
Before that was known though, Mia was pacing through the hall. She had just called Maya's wife to hurry on over so the she could rush over to her job. Why did Maya have to go into labor now!? She was already fifteen minutes late!!
The hall doors burst open and Dr. Stiles came out, looking as dramatic as usual. "The operation...is COMPLETE! Maya Fey has a beautiful baby girl! And I got her autograph too! Sweet!"
Mia ran into the room and saw Maya, lying weakly in the bed, holding a cute little baby with cute little arms and legs and stuff. To Mia though, it didn't seem very much as describe though...
"Maya! Are you alright!"
"Yes Mia...I'm okay now.."
"Good, since I have to head on to my work! Hope you'll be fine here! That waifu of yours is on his way already! And here's your bologna." The bologna was placed in Maya's arms, right next to the baby.
"Alright Mia...I guess I'll see you later...alligator..." She then fell asleep. And started gnawing on the bologna. In her sleep. Mia was a bit relieved that she didn't start gnawing on the baby.
----------------------- - ---- --
Soon after, waifu ran into the room. "My dearest! You're alright! And--it's a baby! Oh wow! A real baby!"
"Yes," said Maya, "It's a baby. And I'll name her Trucy. After the nurse."
"The nurse? It must've been a great nurse then!" Waifu was excited.
"Mmm? Well, I guess it was an okay nurse. I don't remember. I just thought it was a nice name. If it was a boy though, I think I'd name it Mukuro."
"..." An intake of oxygen, "...that's great dear! Trucy the female baby is fine though! Yes."
Maya leaned over and gave waifu a kiss on the cheek. "You're the best Winston!"
And so, they were a happy couple.
Years later, Maya would return to the stage along with her daughter Trucy, who was a rising rock star!
Trucy would later fall in love with Wocky Kitaki and give birth to a Pearl Fey Kitaki. Yes, I'm serious. Maybe even a Gumshoe would be born.
Anyhow, this story focuses on one thing.
During that story, while Maya was being a pregnant hot punk rockstar husband to Payne...
Larry was running for president.
Larry for ####!! Yeeey!
Nick was his trusty right hand man, but was later revealed to be the wielder of the MUSIC NOTE! Whoevers name written in that notebook would become a master musician!
It was a musical year that year.
Anyhow, the moral of this oneshot is one thing: Even with a long width in the middle, punk rock star Maya Fey ROCKS YOUR WORLD. And to anyone who cares, Klavier is a sophisticated archbishop over in India.
That's it for my oneshot! I hope it lightened your mood today.