Nagi's Journal
Nagi's Journal

by Yanagi-sen

Weiss Kreuz fanfic

Usual disclaimers apply.  Not mine, if they were I would be a lot better off…

Warnings: who knows, I have no idea where this will go or even what I'm going, but it's safe to say there will be shounen ai, probably yaoi, possible lemons, dirty language, maybe violence.  I CAN promise no character death, that's it

Day 1: My Life and This Crappy Assignment

This is so dumb.  What an idiotic assignment.  I don't know why I'm even bothering with this; I won't be able to turn it in anyways.  Not this version.  I suppose I should explain what I'm doing first of all…  my teacher, who's name I'm not going to mention cause what we call her isn't too polite, wants us to write everyday in a journal.  What a piece of crap!  We're supposed to write what we do, where we go, how we feel, about our families and friends, etc.  We do this for a while, and then we're supposed to use it to write some deep, introspective poetry or some shit like that.  Now don't get me wrong.  The idea is great.  The problem is… me.  What I do, who I live with, is not exactly public domain here!  It's not as if I can stand up in front of the class and say, 'Hi, my name is Nagi and I am an assassin…'  1) I'd get sent to the principal for not taking the assignment seriously, or 2) I'd get sent to the police for being a delinquent.  Great.  Oh well… I suppose I'll write something everyday and then I can 'edit' it later…  Maybe she won't make us turn these things in…  I can only hope…

Ok, now that that's out of the way.  My name is Nagi Naoe and I'm an assassin… sorry I couldn't resist.  Sounds like a 12-step program.  Assassins Anonymous.  But I really am an assassin.  I don't like it.  I don't like killing, but how I got here is a long story.  Guess that should be my contribution for today…

I don't really remember all that much about my childhood.  For the most part, it sucked.  My first memories of my parents are of them fighting.  Oh yeah, I don't live with them, haven't since I was about 4 or 5.  Anyway, my only clear memories of them are of them fighting.  My father was a drunk.  He came home drunk, went to work drunk, passed out drunk.  He was an ass.  Mother took 'sleeping pills'.  At least, that's what she called them.  I don't know what they really were.  I only ever asked once, when I was about 3.  She backhanded me right into the wall.  She usually didn't hit me, maybe a handful of times.  Father on the other hand…  I learned young to stay out of the way, to stay quiet.  Then he'd only hit her.  They'd scream and yell and he'd stamp out to drink some more.  Great childhood.  The crowning event came when I was 4 or 5, I'm not really sure, I don't even know when my birthday is.  Schu picked one for me, but I'll talk about him another time.

So I'm like 5ish, and father-dearest comes home, drunk as usual.  I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep.  That wasn't unusual, I've been an insomniac since I was 3.  So I hear them yelling and screaming and carrying on like always.  I don't know why I got up, I didn't usually.  I guess I sensed something, I don't know.  So I got up, I slept on this pallet thing on the floor, in my clothes usually, it got cold at night.  I went to the door and cracked it.  My mother and father were arguing at the top of the steps.  Father started yelling and my mother screamed back, so he hit her, nothing new.  After a while he turned away, my mother was really angry.  It scared me; she didn't usually get like that.  It was like she was possessed or something.  So she grabbed his arm, he shoved her away, she fell down the stairs.  She looked at me as she was falling.  Looking back on it, I realize she never loved me; there was only contempt in her eyes.  I ran out and down the steps.  She was dead.  It was the first time I'd ever seen a dead person, and it was my mother.  I remember hearing my father come down the stairs.  I ran.  I knew if I stayed there I was dead next.  He couldn't have any witnesses.

I suppose people who don't know me or haven't had similar experiences would be shocked.  To me it was normal.  I mean, not my mother dying, but the lack of love.  I didn't know what love was.  I wouldn't learn that lesson for a few more years.  I didn't know parents were supposed to love their kids.  Mine never did.  You only know what you learn.  So anyway, I spent the next few years living out on the streets.  Good thing I'm smart.  Not to brag or anything, but if I wasn't I couldn't have survived.  Most street kids band together into gangs, safety in numbers and all that.  None of them would have me.  See I was weird, even back then.  I had to take care of myself, and that was fine with me.  My powers started to show up now and then.  Oh, yeah, I'm a telekinetic.  Really, I am.  I can move things with my mind.  I just typed that last sentence without moving a finger.  Back to my story.  So now and then things would happen.  I really couldn't control it, I mean, I was like 6.  So it was kinda scary.  You know that old saying, 'people fear what they don't understand'?  Well, they were afraid of me.  But I was small and skinny with eyes way too big for my face, kinda like the way I am now… *sigh*  They couldn't admit to being afraid of ME!  So I was pretty much an outcast.  I think the nicest thing they did was call me names.  I remember being stoned a couple times.  Good thing I was quick.

Well, the years on the streets weren't really all that remarkable so I'm gonna skip over them.  Suffice to say, I was hungry, cold most of the time, and not happy.  Course, that sums up most of my life, but oh well.  We figure I was about 9 when things finally changed.  I'd been wandering around, scrounging as usual.  When I got the feeling someone was watching me.  Now, you don't live out there without trusting your instincts, so I took off.  After a while I ran around the corner and right into him.  Tall, gaijin, with dark hair and brown eyes.  He got a hold of me and wouldn't let go.  I still wasn't trained in the use of my powers so they were pretty much not helping me.  I still remember what he said.  "Stop fighting and you won't get hurt."  I'm thinking, yeah right, not hurt too badly.  So I asked him who he was and instead of answering me, he asked another question.  That's a very irritating habit of his.  He said, "I've heard you can move things with your mind.  Is that true?"  I just kind froze.  It's not as if I advertised the fact that I was a freak, so he must have been watching me for a while.  He set me down and let me look at him.  He said, "My name is Crawford."

I still live with Brad (he hates it when we call him that, but I can get away with it, don't know why, maybe he likes me better) and a couple others, but I'll get to them.  Anyway, Crawford-san took me to his hotel.  Actually I kinda got a little worried.  I mean, I knew what happened when gaijin took street kids to their hotel rooms.  But he was nice, if a little cold.  He let me have a bath, insisted on it in fact.  And then he took me to the airport and we got on this private plane.  That's probably the only way we were able to leave Japan, it's not as if I had a passport or anything.  The plane ride felt like it took forever.  We landed a couple times for fuel and that was it.  I was really scared; I'd never flown before.  We ran into a storm somewhere over Eastern Europe.  OMG  I will never be able to fly again without thinking about it.  The only reason I didn't get sick was because I had been too nervous to eat much earlier in the flight.  So finally we land, at the time I didn't know where but now I know it was Germany. 

That's when I met Schu for the first time.  I'm not really going to go into him here.  I'll devote a day just to him and the others.  So, Brad dumps me off with this weird redhead who doesn't even speak Japanese.  I of course didn't speak anything else.  But he was really nice.  Let me take a bath, gave me some clean clothes, fed me, tucked me into his bed.  He put his hand on my head and I got this touch in my mind.  It was the first time Schu got in my head (he's a telepath by the way).  It was warm, that mind-touch, caring.  I'd never felt anything like that before.  We figured out how to communicate and survived till Brad got back.  Then they took me to this 'training center'.  It was a place where this group called Esset trained people with powers, like me.  I didn't really understand everything that was going on.  Schu, by using a dictionary and some really good sign language, explained that that was okay, I didn't want to know.  I accepted that at face value.  Hey, I was fed, given clothes and a place to sleep, that's all I really wanted.  So they wanted to teach me how to use my 'gift', fine by me.  They even taught me how to read and write, first in Japanese and then in a couple other languages.  I had regular classes, just like in any school, except I was the youngest in the place so it was pretty much private tutors.  I didn't like them.  They were assholes for the most part, really stuck on themselves.  They didn't like having to teach a little brat.  Schu and Brad took over what they could, that was better.  Then Schu taught me how to use the computer.  I bet he still regrets that sometimes.  From that point on, I did all my lessons on the computer, worked better that way.  I don't like people, except for a few. 

So I taught myself how to 'hack'.  That's when I discovered exactly what Esset was and what they were trying to do.  I'm not afraid to say the idea scared me.  I'm not going into it here, just in case this ever does get read by someone other than me.  But let's just say, it wasn't good.  I confronted Brad.  Never a good idea.  After he was done beating my skinny ass black and blue for questioning him, he explained his plans.  Them I was okay with.  After a while, he brought in Farfarello.  Not long after that, we started getting sent out on field assignments.  For the most part, my job was gathering information.  I was trained in how to fight, with and without weapons and powers, but mainly that was for self-defense.  I'm better utilized elsewhere.  If Brad needs someone killed, he sends in Schu or Farf, if he needs a computer hacked, that's my job.  Eventually we end up back in Japan, nominally working for this guy named Takatori Reiji.

Can I just say that the man majorly gave me the creeps!  Every time he looked at me, I wanted to take a shower.  I just get this feeling he was always imagining me without my clothes.  *shudder*  I think Schu must have picked something up off of him one time, cause he would never leave me alone with the man.  He would always pitch a fit if Brad suggested something that would put me with Takatori.  I probably don't want to know.  But the man was a major bastard.  Scum doesn't even cover it.  Farf ignored him, Schu felt the same way I did, even Brad had no respect for the man.  But he was useful to Crawford, which was why we were there.  I'm so glad Fujimaya-san ran the asshole through.  Saved the world a lot of trouble I'm sure.  After the jerk was dead, we reverted to pretending to follow Esset's plan while actually following Brad's.  I'm not getting into it.  If Crawford gets a hold of this, I'd like to keep my head.  It's a moot point anyways.  Esset died a grisly, fiery death about 6 months ago.  I would have been much happier celebrating their demise if I hadn't been sicker than a dog at the time. 

I nearly drowned.  Lots of fun, I know.  I'm not exactly the most healthy of individuals anyways, makes my school absences easier to explain.  So I spent the next few weeks in bed.  Summer vacation came and went.  We were busy cleaning up after Esset.  Of course we didn't get everyone in one shot and the twitching remains had to try to get us back.  That took my whole vacation.  It would be nice to have a real life once in a while.  School started back up last week and we are all caught up to today, and this crappy assignment.  *sigh*  It's my turn to cook dinner so I better go do that.  I'll get into my 'family' tomorrow.  That may take a couple days actually…  -Nagi