Love Notes 11
1 MONTH LATER:
I was lying on Edwards' bed, or our bed, staring at the ceiling. I was thinking about that night when he had lost all that hard earned self control.
It was the best.
Since then, it has been like being engaged to a dead man.
I mean he's into everything I have to say, and wants to talk and snuggle, and act like some pussy whipped man.
Not that im against that.
I was planning on getting that out for the laundry though, not when I have hormones running through my veins and I want some action!
I mean we don't have to have sex but he will hardly even kiss me!
I get one.
One measly little kiss before he either leaves to hunt or we're at his house with a house full of hyper sensitive vampires so I cant even try anything.
And I damn sure would.
But noooooo, so I'm taking fate into my own hands.
Take that Cullen.
I'm going to seduce you.
And you're going to like it!
Oh god what if he doesn't?
What if I smell bad now or something?
Tanya can't be in town right?
Someone would have told me….
Plus, he doesn't like blondes.
Oh who am I kidding, every male with a dick (essentially making them a male) likes a blonde.
Then again Edward isn't exactly acting like he has a dic-
Oh! He's home.
And I look like a whore….why did I let Alice talk me into wearing all this makeup….
Damn he's fast.
I looked him up and down, "thanks for noticing."
I was a little pissed at him…
I take that back, I wasn't a little pissed at him.
I was fucking angry at him.
Last Tuesday (it was now Friday) I kissed him, really kissed him. And he ran out of my window, screaming like a madman about needing to hunt.
God knows what the neighbors think….
Anyways, he didn't tell me where he was, how long he would be gone…nothing.
I had to come over here and ask.
Do you know how embarrassing that was?
So I told Rose and Alice everything, looking for help.
And that's where the sexy clothes, makeup, and 'style to look messed up' hair (AKA sex hair) came into play.
"I always notice Bella." His voice was stern, even strained.
He looked shocked because I normally try not to curse like that off hand.
"Good job Sherlock. How'd you sniff that one out vamp?"
I was being such a bitch.
So much for that honey attracts the bee's theory.
"Stop being melodramatic and tell me what the hell is going on. We're alone and you look like a sex kitten but your acting angry. I'm confused."
I was quiet for a moment and I realized that I was really hurt. I looked up at him, he was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. He looked down at me and saw the black marks running down my cheeks.
"Bella!" He came toward me, "What's wrong love? What have I done?"
The wave of unwanted, rejected, and self doubt crashed upon me.
"Do you just not want me Edward?!" I stood up. "Am I not good enough? Is my body not skinny enough? Not pretty enough? Do I laugh too loudly or something? Something that would explain this?! Just tell me! Because I can not take this anymore Edward!" I was crying pretty hard by now. "You're hurting me! Don't you understand that? At first I really thought all this rejection was for my safety but now I see it's just because you don't want me. You run out on me, and don't even tell me where you're going! You make me look like a complete idiot in front of you're family! I make myself look like a fucking Barbie doll to try to get you to want me and it still doesn't work! And when you look at it at the end of the day you don't even want to turn me into your kind!
Who knows maybe you've just been doing this to hundreds upon thousands of poor humans over the last hundred years and im just the next lunch to be cooked!"
I collapsed on the floor.
The hurricane had hit.
I couldn't stop sobbing. My whole body heaved with my heart ache. My lungs burned with my pain.
Edward was by my side in an instant. His arms held me as I fought to stay standing against the wind and rain. Against all the powers that wanted to bring me down.
I stood though, because Edward was whispering he loved me in my ear.
He started kissing my neck, giving me pleasure as I calmed myself. He began to lick my skin, his tongue staying longer and longer as if he were savoring my taste.
"You are perfect" He whispered in between another kiss.
"I want you." Kiss.
"I want you so badly, Bella, that I ache every night."
"I think about that night we shared and I want to run into your room and do it again and again…"
His hand traces patterns along my arms.
"You are an angel, more good than I deserve."
He nuzzled my jaw line. Bringing goosebumps to my skin.
"You body tantalizes me every day. It is never too skinny or too fat. You are perfect."
He sucks behind my ear, making tingles erupt down to my stomach.
Another storm was coming.
"It is true, you are hard to look at, but only because you are so beautiful."
A different kind of storm.
"Your laugh is like music, playing the strings of my heart."
He was corny but I loved him.
"I'm trying to stay about from you miss Swan because-" his hand trailed up my halter top, his thumb rubbing back and forth, slowly touching more, slowly going under my bra. "because I don't want to fuck you until after the wedding."
"Im so sorry for hurting you, I just couldn't take being around you when I had those amazing scenes from that blissful night playing in my head." He kissed me, a soft lingering kiss on my lips. Then pulled back and whispered. "Do you forgive me?"
My bra clasp came undone, and now his thumb was circling around my hard nipple.
I tried to nod.
"I'm so sorry. I love you Bella." He kissed me on the lips again and started to trace his tongue against my bottom lip. Caressing it. I moaned and opened my mouth.
He groaned and grabbed my head, he gave me a stern look that clearly meant 'behave' and took me in closer. His tongue searched my mouth as my hands became daring. Having missed touching him I ran my nails down his chest.
I felt him shudder.
He pulled back to let me breathe.
"Bella…" He said, he moved closer. I leaned back on the bed, praying he would follow.
He laid on top of me, pushing his growing member against me as he did so.
I arched my back and knew we were both done for.
"Oh god Bella, I missed you." He groaned out as he pushed against me.
I could only nod. "Bella, we shouldn't keep goi-"
I kissed him to make him shut up. My hands went to his shirt hem and got it off of him. He was trying to get away. He got up, but I followed. Kissing his chest while my hands rubbed his abs. He took my face and lifted it to meet his.
"You said you wanted me."
"I do." I replied looking straight into his eyes.
"Bella don't do this."
"Edward im so sick of this!"
He started to walk away.
I took hold of his belt loops and attached my lips to his neck.
"Bella, I can't take this. I need to leave." His hand held my elbows as if to push me away.
"yes you can." I started to nibble his ear lobe. "Stay with me." I whispered into his ear. He was battling with him self. "No, don't do this Edward. Let me have just a little more of you. Let me pleasure a little bit more of you."
"Bella…" He looked torn. Good.
"Edward." I stated, I gave him the best 'come hither' look I could come up with. I turned on the stereo in his room, Emmett had conveniently called him out of the room so I could slip a C.D. in. Then conveniently the whole family left for a hunting trip.
The master stereo began playing the jazzy start of Moondance.
Well, its a marvelous night for a moondance
He looked at me strangely. The was how the night was supposed to have started…all well. I walked up to him, putting my arms around his waist.
With the stars up above in your eyes
We stared each other, the confusion mixed with passion in his eyes kept me going with my plan.
A fantabulous night to make romance
I started shaking my hips to the rhythm.
'neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
I kissed his exposed chest, slowly teasing him with my tongue.
And Im trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
I turned around, leaving his embrace.
And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush
I started to slip my shirt up, inch by inch my stomach was shown to him.
I shook my hair out of my shirt, letting it drop to the floor.
Can I just have one a more moondance with you, my love
Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love
I walked up to him, undoing the button on his jeans.
I whispered in his ear the next part of the lyrics.
"Well, I wanna make love to you tonight
I cant wait til the morning has come
And I know that the time is just right" His zipper was down.
And straight into my arms you will run
And when you come my heart will be waiting
To make sure that you're never alone
There and then all my dreams will come true, dear
I kissed his eye lids closed.
There and then I will make you my own
And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside
I scratched my nails against his back, he shuddered against me.
And I know how much you want me that you cant hide
"Bella…jesus, don't-" I stroked him through his boxers.
Can I just have one a more moondance with you, my love
Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love
I turned my behind to him, grinding against him softly.
I wanna make love to you tonight
I cant wait til-"
The music abruptly stopped. But it was as if Edward had never left. His hands were everywhere on me. Grabbing fistful of my breasts, my hair, grasping my hips. I couldn't breath.
"You have no idea what you just did to me." He pulled me back against him, letting me feel exactly what I did to him. "I need you."
I could tell he was trying to be gentle, but his urges were weighing on him, he grabbed me, pushing me into the wall that held all his C.D.'s, making some of them fall to the ground. His lips attached my body, ripping what little clothing I had left on. "Right now, there's no more waiting." He lifted up his head, his eyes were the darkest I had ever seen them.
Then he did something unexpected. He moved his head to my collarbone, then licked his way to my ear.
And I was his. Everything and every part of my body, soul, and mind was there for his taking.
I felt him, pushing against me. Plastering me against the rough edges of the spines of C.D.'s I didn't mind though because his touch took me to another world. Far away from the assaulting C.D.'s.
I moaned as I felt his strong ice cold hands aggressively tug at my nipples. I needed more. I bucked up against him. Searching for the hard body I'd missed for the last four weeks. His hands moved faster now as desperate as I was. He was desperate to feel me, to have my body connected as closely as possible.
His lips were enclosed on my neck, moving lower and lower until he reached my breasts.
So many things happened at once. His hands were playing with the top of my panties, his lips were sucking on my nipple. While his other hand tugged on my hair.
Light enough not to hurt but enough to feel it.
I suddenly became wetter. I think he could smell me because his soft caresses soon were making me throw my head back in ecstasy. The way he messaged my breasts, small circles with his thumb.
"Imagine me doing this to you clit." He whispered in my ear. My knees went out.
I didn't know how much more of this I could take.
His name fell from my lips in a whimper.
He understood my need and his teasing fingers finally slipped under and panty line and began rubbing my clit. His hand still worked its magic on my breasts, and his lips would kiss my shoulder, then blow his cold breath on it.
It was too much. I was being consumed by a feeling I'd had before.
Pure, unadulterated, Lust.
He wrapped my legs around his waist, still holding me against those pesky C.D.'s The angle was better, my legs spread out, pushing myself against him. And as he started to walk me to the bed, he dipped a finger into me.
Stars shown above me. The night was opening up and for a moment I found sanity. As he laid me down on his—our bed a thought coursed through me.
Edward was going to make love to me. Tonight.
He was going to be inside me.
He twisted his fingers and curled them, my moment of sanity was drowned and I almost screamed from all the pleasure.
"Let go Bella. Let me see and hear your pleasure. Please, my love."
"What about feel it?" He looked puzzled for a minute until he realized I was talking about him feeling my pleasure. I was puzzled too, but my bewilderment was because I had just formed a coherent sentence while Edward was fingering me. Shocking, I know.
He grinned at me, my favorite grin and said. "I intend to taste it too, Bella." He slid down my body. I was really confused—oh.
I felt his cold tongue licking on my lips.
My lower lips.
His thumb was still rubbing my clit, over and over again, wanting me to scream. I felt his tongue slide into my dripping wet pussy.
"Edward!" His head rose and he looked alarmed and ashamed.
"Do you want me to stop?" I moaned his name and shook my head no.
"Fuck." I muttered and I felt breaths of his chuckle chilling me. It tickled my clit so I arched for more cold contact of my sweet Edward. He began licking my clit, and moving his finger in and out of me. His mouth took in my clit and then he moved back very quickly.
"That was close." He said, breathing deeply. He was still fingering me. In. Out. In. Out.
His lips were now at my ear again. "Do you know how much I want to bite you? I almost did." That would have been a bit awkward explaining that bite to the family…. "Once you're a vampire, I'll bite you every where. You'll be withering under me in pleasure."
Who was he kidding? I already was.
His other hand traced up and down my side. "Every sense will be enhanced. Every touch you feel now, magnify it by 100. Isabella." He pronounced my full name with each syllable. "You'll be able to hear all those sounds I keep from you that my body make." His lips were now behind my ear, tracing it with his numbing cold tongue. "You'll be able to see how my hand sometimes trembles when I touch you." I shivered at this.
"I love you Isabella Marie Swan."
I felt his aching rock hard cock waiting at my entrance. His hand on either side of my head.
Man was I oblivious.
The starry night of clearance appeared again and suddenly I was pissed at his seducing speech because now we were about to have sex and to be honest I was a little freaked out.
Did I say a little? It was more like a shit load.
More like me close to hyperventilating.
Edward Cullen was about to fuck me.
Gah! Ok Bella, pull it together! This is what I want.
It's going to hurt so bad…
Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought "Yeah if he breaks and crushes me…"
But Edward wouldn't do that.
He loved me.
"Bella? Love? We don't have to do anything."
"No!" I yelled. "I want to." I put my hand in his hair.
He looked discouraged and uncertain.
Damn my moment of freaking out.
"You won't hurt me Edward. I might however die of combustion if you don't fuck me right now."
Great job Bella. I've surely done it now. He was probably about to jump off of me, disgusted and lecture me about we would be 'lovemaing' and shit—Instead though he bent his head to my shoulder and groaned my name "Damnit Bella."
He said looking up at me, his eyes pitch black. "When you say things like that—fuck, it turns me on. I didn't think I could get any harder…"
And then I felt him. Pulsing and ready, and impossibly hard against me. In between my legs.
About to be inside of me.
"Please Edward." He groaned again and looked into my eyes.
He sank into my folds. Little more and a little more. My pussy adjusting to the large head of his cock.
Then, fast as lightening, my cherry was popped. He used his vampire speed to make the pain as little as he could.
He then waited for me to relax, wait for me to calm down.
His jaw was clenched as the urge to pump into me was weighing on him. He held still though and kissed my neck. Telling me everything would be fine and he loved me. After a few moments I rocked my hips. He roared a groan.
"Fuck…" I grinned and thought 'we are.'
He slowly rocked back into me, then pulled back. Starting a rhythm.
It was tortuously slow. Even for me. He must be dieing from the strain to go this slow.
"Fast Edward" I moaned into his ear. "Please" he turned up the speed but only slightly.
I arched into him more, desperate for him to be deeper.
"Bella. Don't. God. I want to go deeper. I want to go faster…"
My lips were parted from the pleasure scorching through me. My voice was breathy as I matched his whispering frantic tone.
He grabbed my hands now and held them there with one of his large cool hands as the other still held his hard body on top of me.
He began to dive into me. Each thrust deeper and filling me up. I felt whole and complete now. And in more pleasure than I'd ever experienced.
He forcefully shoved himself into me. Again and Again. Over and over. I was at my breaking point. It was too much for me to handle. The way he was making my body feel. I was arched completely off the bed in an attempt to get closer than we already were. To feel every each of him while we were hole. With every thrust I felt my soul slip away. The world become clear and far away at the same time. I was with Edward, and only Edward was in it in this moment. I withered against him while I screamed him name as he hit my pleasure spot.
He was pleaded for something. I heard him groaning and grunted in my ear. Begging for something that I could not understand. I was too gone to even try to listen.
I felt my climax coming at me with such a force my breath was taken away. I struggled to remain above the current under the ocean in this storm. But it was persistent on bringing me down.
"Bella…"His voice was a warning that he too was being taken by the current to bliss.
I nodded and as unlikely as I'd heard it happening, we both hit out climax at the same time.
My bliss mounted and mounted, my hips moved in circles and Edward kept pushing into me to get the last few waves of this hurricane.
Hell, as powerful as that was this was more like the waves of a damn tusimia
When we both had calmed ourselves, Edward laid on his back with me in his cold arms.
I snuggled happily into my Michelangelo.
"Wow." He said.
I only had enough strength to nod.
The next morning Edward and I were in the kitchen. He was making banana muffins, while I sat on the counter, smiling goofy.
"They're back." Edward said.
Edward smiled and walked over to me "So you better wipe that goofy grin off your face."
"Who, me?" I laughed.
I heard Jasper laughing coming into the door.
"Eddie! Where's my 117 year old virgin bro?!" Emmett walked in to the kitchen and saw Edward and I in an embrace.
"Or is he?" He pondered, laughing.
Jasper walked in "Wow. This is a nice change. For the first time in over 3 years I'm around you two and not read to hump something."
"Own up Jazz, where's my new wardrobe?" Alice said
"Why would you ever bet against Alice Jasper?" Rosalie said, crossing over to Emmett.
"Damn, I knew I should have entered that bet—"Emmett muttered.
Esme and Carlise walked in.
As if I wasn't red in the face enough…
"Well….who wants muffins?" Edward said in an attempt to change subjects.
Rose sniffed the air. "Bananas? How fitting."
Everyone burst out laughing.
That was some night huh?
Understatement of the year love. He leaned down to my ear making sure Mr. Gross (our endearing nick name for him) wouldn't see. "Was it good for you?"? He joked. We both starting laughing at this, but Mr. Gross looked us sternly and we both had to stop.
What's your favorite color?
Brown. He grinned as he wrote this. I did as well.
Brown? Why brown?
I thought he'd talk about the vegetation, like me, but instead I read Because I can only fall into your eyes, so I guess brown isn't the proper representation but it will do.
But before we met me, what was it?
Because it reminded me of the waters in the Caribbean.
We'll have to go there for our honey moon.
Do you remember your favorite ice cream flavor?
Why all the 'favorite' questions?
Just trying to gather information.
For what pray tell?
You're a rotten liar.
Damn. I'm just planning something…
Don't leave me hanging.
You didn't seriously just say that.
Technically Bella I wrote it.
Come on, tell me!
No way, it's a surprise!
My lips are sealed.
I bet I can think of a way to change that.
What? Just trying to flirt with my extremely sexy fiancé…
I never said I didn't mind.
Yes, I'm pretty positive that I could think of a few ways to loosen that tongue of yours…
Oh my word, were you implying something inappropriate Mr. Cullen?
Never. I snorted at this. I'm not implying. Im promising.
I stared at the note, licking my lips. You have no idea how much that makes me want you.
Do I for real get a quickie in the back of you're car now?
Maybe, maybe not.
Soon, Bella, Soon.
I promise it won't be a quickie.
You know I really like the idea of defiling your Volvo…
I really like the idea of you naked in my Volvo.
I really like the idea of not so perfect Edward.
I was blushing pretty bad now. He was starring at me in the cutest struggle of confused and turned on…
Do I really get to have a repeat of that night again before the uh-change?
We better. I don't know if I'll be able to last that long…you're not the only one that combusts, you know.
I thought so. He grinned at me.
I love you.
And I love you.
I looked down at our little love notes and a tear almost fell. We'd be graduating soon and I just knew down in my gut it would be the last of our loves notes.
While I was still human anyways.
Like he'd said all those pages ago, its even more boring hearing it for the 50th time.
Maybe we could change that.
Aww, my baby is finished. What a great time I had writing that. I am sorry for the extrememly long waits.
Thank you all so much, I honestly was amazed by your support.
Also I am thinking about writing a story with the extras I have sent in the past if you guys are interested, especially new readers let me know, so you guys don't miss any of them =) thank you again!
SEQUEL IS UP!
Peace, Love and Muffiny cupcakes,