Don't flame me for writing this; this is a story I wrote for self-soothing.

It's a coping technique I learned at Fairfax Mental Hospital.

This is just a fan fiction.

That means IT'S MADE UP.

There are too many people out there that think I made the main characters too OOC, or too wimpy, or… something.

So if you're going to say something negative about my fan fictions, don't say anything at all.

I don't own Naruto.


The glass shatters as fists smash against the mirror, blood decorating newly broken shards. Silent tears fall along with the crimson, blonde strands of hair covering the smooth, distraught face that belonged to the scarlet and salty drops.

He grasps his wrist, cradling his freshly wounded hand. Pain racked his body, his slender, sculpted form riddled with aches, blood and trauma.

"Why did it come to this…?"

Only hours before, he was having such a good time, such leisure and enjoyment with the others. Such joy and contentment, such amusement…

The world seemed upside-down. Meaningless, almost, and most certainly unforgiving and cruel.

He picks up a palm-sized shard, carefully selecting one with a sharp, pointed, jagged edge. He gazes at it with a blank stare in his ocean blue eyes, contemplating. Finally, the sharp teeth press against soft pale skin, biting, penetrating so cleanly. He grits his white teeth, clenching his hand as hot pain seared his arm, blood immediately leaking from the self-inflicted wound. He gazed at it lazily, a salty teardrop mixing in with the red-heat. He moved again, the word 'HATE' painted by piercing edge.

Blood smeared across what was left of the mirror before the blonde slid down against the wall, crumpling in a bloody heap on the linoleum flooring. The injured man wept shamelessly, covering his face in red-stained hands, choked murmurs of self-pity filling the air.

- Five hours earlier -

"Ha ha, Tobi, you're too silly, hmm."

"But, Deidara-senpai..!"

"No, no, I couldn't possibly play with you right now, I'm busy." In his mouthed hands were multiple miniature sculptures made of clay. Insects, mostly, which he loved to use just for shits and giggles.

His partner, a man masked in orange who acted a little on the moronic side, started pouting. The pair were among another, a platinum-haired religious sadomasochist and a stitched-up masked old man, the tallest of the four.

The sadomasochist, named Hidan, scoffed. "What kind of bullshit is this, Tobi? Playing?" He laughed almost cruel-heartedly, pushing his partner, Kakuzu, playfully. "He wants to play, Kakuzu. Seriously…"

Kakuzu rolled his emerald eyes. "Whatever." He turned and started to walk away, glancing back at Hidan. "Come on, we have business to attend."

"Tch." The Jashinist rolled his lavendar eyes at Kakuzu. "Whatever… asshole,"

"Be quiet, Hidan."

And so, the pair left the small living room the four had been visiting in. Deidara and Tobi were left alone, both sitting on the plush, tanned leather couch on opposite ends. The artist was still busying himself with his clay creations, whilst his partner was still pouting, whimpering quietly.

A few moments later, Tobi moved closer to Deidara, sitting on the cushion in the middle. Said blonde did nothing much in response but glance sideways at the masked moron and shift his weight around a little.


"Yes, Tobi, hmm?" The small hand-crafted insects marched off underneath the front door, a faint explosion resounding a moment after. He gazed at the mysterious idiot, an attentive expression on his face.

Next thing Deidara knew, a weight was applied on his body, arms pinned down to the couch. He blinked, startled for a moment, then realized Tobi had immobilized him. Thinking he was simply playing another game, he chuckled. "Oh, that's enough, Tobi. How's about we go somewhere else, hmm? I'm tired, and I need a nap."


Deidara blinked again. That wasn't Tobi's usual goofy voice – it was stern, deep, commanding.

"C'mon, Tobi, I'm not in the mood for games." He started struggling against the taller, heavier man. A fruitless attempt.

"I'm not playing games, Deidara."

The blonde's lip twitched. No suffix at the end of his name – a cue that Tobi meant business.

"Let me go."

"No, Deidara."

Fingernails dug into skin through thick cotton fabric, causing Deidara to wince. "Tobi, this is the last time… Let. Me. Go… Now."

"No. I. Won't." The masked man got up, pulling Deidara off the couch, a very strong grasp on his wrist. The ex-Iwa nin fought back angrily, trying hard as he could to wrench his wrist out of Tobi's grip. His other hand reached for his clay pack.

"Bad, bad boy, Deidara." He reached over and grabbed Deidara's free hand, preventing him from attempting self-defense. In a flash he twisted the artist around, so his immobilized wrists were behind his back, clenched by Tobi.

Tobi kicked Deidara's legs out from underneath, making him collapse onto his knees. The blonde tried, once more, to twist out of Tobi's grip, grunting in irritation as he did so.

"Tobi, stop this bullshit…"

He didn't respond. Instead, the sharp edge of a kunai was brandished in front of Deidara's eyes to silence him, broadside pressed against his throat a moment after. The sadistic blonde's eyes widened, gritting his teeth. Panic was just starting to kick in, edging in his mind.

Straddling the blonde, he pressed the kunai's sharp tooth into his soft skin, encouraging a small trickle of blood. Deidara froze, the crisply clean abrasion divesting him of control in almost an instant.

"Haha, I knew that'd get you, Senpai." He snickered, taking the kunai and dragging the point across Deidara's clothed back. It wandered down, more and more pressure being applied as it decended, starting to slice through the fabric, coming dangerously close to piercing skin once again.

The blade's point picked at Deidara's pants waistband, cutting it just a little. The blonde grunted in response, starting to struggle. "No, Tobi, don't… Not that."

"Aw, but Senpai… I want to play with you…"

Deidara kicked at Tobi. His foot made contact with his inner thigh, making the masked man double over in response. Wildly Deidara tried escaping, but Tobi quickly regained himself, securing Deidara in his desired position.

The kunai pulled down Deidara's pants in a flash, scratching the pale surface of Deidara's skin. His gloved fingertip smeared the blood around, drawing no picture in particular.

The injured man growled, hissing in distaste. "Stop it."

Tobi said nothing. Instead, he pulled his own pants down to reveal his self, not fully erect, nor flaccid. He started pulling on his own growing erection, growling at himself, trying to encourage a properly hardened length. Finally, after a few moments, he achieved what he was looking for.

Not a moment later did he position himself at Deidara's unworked entrance. The blonde's eyes widened. "N-No, Tobi, don't—!"

He was cut off. Tobi had shoved himself inside, groaning. "Ohhh, Senpai… you're so… tight."

Deidara nearly screamed in pain, his muscles tearing as penetration ensued. Tobi pulled himself out a little, only to thrust back inside again, quickening his pace to a rapid state.

Deidara's face was being smashed into the couch. Tobi let go of Deidara's wrists, confident he couldn't get away by then. Sure enough, the mouthed hands gripped the edge of the furniture, clawing at the leathery surface.

"N-No… Tobi, please…"

"Shut up, Deidara." Tobi concentrated on himself, only himself, completely ignoring Deidara's pathetic pleas and attempts to fight back.

A trickle of blood escaped, just barely providing even the slightest source of relief, relief from such violent friction…

Painted fingernails dragged across the stained carpeted flooring, teardrops moistening the material. Blonde hair, now unkempt and strewn across the floor, hid Deidara's wounded, bloody face.

His eyes were blank. Expressionless. Lifeless, almost, if you chose to brush his hair out of the way and look. His facial expression matched the atmosphere: abandoned, destroyed, violated.

He lifts his arm to pull himself up, using the wide reclining couch for support. Bruised and betrayed, he started making his way to his own bedroom.

The front door opened. Hidan and Kakuzu entered, arguing heatedly with each other. The Jashinist's eyes fell upon the wounded blonde, his mouth freezing, along with his body.

Kakuzu's eyes followed Hidan's. "D-Deidara, what happened?"

The blonde shook his head. Don't… Don't say it. They don't need to know.

"Dammit all, Deidara, tell us what the fuck happened." Hidan growled at him, his grip tightening on his three-bladed scythe. The Jashinist's eyes scanned the entire room.

He refused to tell.

Hidan, becoming angry, went over and picked him up by the front of his cloak, pulling him close to hiss in his face.

"Tell me what happened, or you'll fucking regret it."

Once again, Deidara shook his head.

Hidan lowered the smaller man a little, inspecting Deidara's body. He noticed the torn articles of clothing and blood, blood and bruises smeared and discoloring all over his once-flawless form.

Hidan, being naïve to these kinds of things, didn't understand. He looked to Kakuzu for help. "Kakuzu, what the fuck do you think?"

The old man shrugged. "I honestly don't know… Where did that moronic partner of yours get to, anyway?"

Deidara's head lowered, a slight whimper escaping his lips.

Kakuzu sighed heavily. "He's not going to tell us. Drop him, Hidan, you zealot."

"Fuckin'… Whatever."

He dropped Deidara, just as he was instructed. The nin was limp, falling to the carpeted ground, hardly reacting to the pair's actions.

Hidan walked away, grumbling under his breath. Kakuzu left a moment after, a lingering gaze falling as he put more distance between himself and the broken man.

They don't understand.

They'll never understand.

The room was silent, save the slight sobs.

"Oh, Senpai…"

Deidara froze. "Shit. Tobi, if that's you… l-leave me alone." He twisted his head, straining to look for the masked man, looking for the source of danger.

"Senpai said a bad word… Looks like Tobi will have to teach his Senpai another lesson. The first time just… didn't seem to be enough, now, did it?"

"Tobi, have you gone mad, hmm?"

"No… Well, maybe. All Tobi wants to do is spend quality time with his caring, loving Senpai…" His head poked up from behind the couch, staring down at the terrified man.

"Get away from me!" He started crawling away from Tobi, not caring where he was going as long as it was away. Tobi advanced on the wounded, a low chuckle in the back of his throat.

He opens his palm, the blood reflecting the dim bathroom light. Another teardrop mixes in the red liquid. The hand-mouth, covered in warm sweet blood, licks itself clean. He watches, uninterested.

"Where have the heavens gone?

I can't seem to find my way…

So Hell has come to claim my life

So Hell has come to stay.

My heart, handled with such ferocity

My body, bloodied and bruised…

My mind is violated in such ways

No more am I of use…"

:- end -: