Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Boosh, that belongs to Noel and Julian. Nor do I own Noel Fielding or Julian Barratt, but I wish I did :)

I dont know how to write for Noel and Julian, so i just wrote them kind of like less extreme versions of Howard and Vince. i also have no idea whether they share the views i have made them express here, but i like to think they do.

Noel was putting the finishing touches to his hair when he heard the doorbell ring. Grinning, he got up and ran to the door, pulling it open. "Alright Ju? I'll just be a couple of minutes, yeah?"

Julian looked at his friend. He looked fine. "Why? You need to put more makeup on, or fetch your handbag?"

"Fuck off." Noel said, smiling to show he wasn't serious.

"Dee not coming?" asked Julian.

"No, she said she didn't feel well." Noel grabbed his coat and hat and put them on. "Ok, ready, let's go."

The two friends set off down the street towards the main road, headed for the pub.

"You had any more thoughts on the movie?" Asked Julian as they walked. Noel grinned.

"Yeah! I've come up with a couple of ideas; I think they could work really well!"

"And they are…?"

"I'll tell you in the pub. Otherwise I'll just have to go over it all again when Mike arrives and I really can't be arsed."

"Fair enough."

They had reached the river now, glistening slightly under the night's sky. Looking at it suddenly made Noel feel very dizzy, and he shut his eyes tight to try and clear his head. "Noel? You alright mate?"

"Fine, yeah. I just…" he suddenly swayed alarmingly on the spot. "I think I'm gonna be sick." He said quietly. He ran over to the edge and leaned over the inky black water retching.

"Shit. You want to go home? We can do this another time."

"Yeah, cheers Ju. Would you call…" suddenly a wave of dizziness overcame him, and the next thing he knew he was hurtling towards the water.

"NOEL!" he heard his friend's urgent cry, but he couldn't respond. My hair's gonna be ruined, he thought, before the blackness claimed him.

"Hey Howard?"

Howard turned to look at Vince. "What is it little man?"

"Do you think cavemen ate strawberry bootlaces?"

Howard closed his eyes impatiently. He had made Vince come down to the museum with him, and now Vince had become fascinated with the past. This would normally be a good thing, except all Vince's thoughts revolved around sweets, Topshop or Gary Numan, none of which were remotely relevant to his chosen subject. "I've told you, Vince. They weren't invented then."

"So when were they invented? Whoever thought up strawberry bootlaces must have been genius. I…" Vince paused and blinked suddenly. They were standing next to the river, and looking at the moon's reflection in it had suddenly made Vince feel ill.

"Vince?" He looked up into Howard's concerned face and tried to grin.

"I'm fine Howard. Really. I'm just tired."

"Ok little man." Howard looked unconvinced, so Vince grinned at him again and bounced off, trying to ignore the rising nausea in his stomach.

"You're probably hungry." Howard suggested. "All you've had to eat today are sweets. You need proper food, Vince. Rice. Pasta. That sort of thing. Food which has never seen sugar before in its life!"

The lack of sarcastic comment in reply made Howard turn. He couldn't see Vince anywhere. "Vince?" no reply. "Vince!!"

He looked around frantically. He had only taken his eyes off the little electro poof for a minute, where the hell could he have gone? Then he noticed the ripples in the river, and a bedraggled feather boa floating just beneath the surface. Vince had fallen in!

Julian sat in the chair beside his friend's hospital bed, his face ashen with worry. The fire brigade and ambulance had arrived quickly and had managed to locate Noel in impressive time, but his friend had still been underwater for nearly 10 minutes. By some miracle, when they pulled him out he had still had a heartbeat, so the Doctor's weren't too worried. Their main concern was that he might have caught something from the water. He had swallowed quite a lot of it. He lowered his head, unable to look at his friends face anymore, not when it was so much paler then normal…he looked up sharply when he heard a cough, and saw the younger man was waking up. He opened his eyes and stared at Julian, eyes blank. For one terrible second Julian thought he didn't see him, but then recognition flickered in the big blue eyes, and he relaxed against the pillows.

"You alright? What happened?"

"You slipped or something. Fell into the river."

"Oh." he paused. "Am I alright?"

"The doctors say you should be fine, provided you didn't catch some infection from the water."

"Is my hair ok?" Julian looked at his friend, wondering if he was joking.

"Err…yeah. Its fine mate, don't worry."

The younger man smiled and closed his eyes, as though going back to sleep. The next second he jerked them open again and looked at Julian. "Do you have any sweets?"

"Sweets? You nearly drown and you want sweets??"

He shrugged. "I'm hungry. And I like sweets!"

Shaking his head at his friend's love of sugar, Julian rooted around in his bag. He was sure he had…ah yes, there it was. He pulled out a packet of Woolworths gummy laces and held them out.

"Mike's on his way. He's called Dee, so you don't have to worry."

"Oh." a frown appeared on the pale face.

"You need to be more careful Noel. Maybe not hang over deep water if you think you're going to faint, yeah?" Julian chuckled.

The other man chewed a strawberry bootlace thoughtfully, watching Julian with a puzzled frown on his face.

"Who's Noel?"

Noel groaned as he fought back into consciousness. He could feel something in his throat, gagging him. Was he dead? He thrashed out, trying to tear whatever it was out of his throat.

"It's ok; it's ok, calm down." Julian. Ok, not dead then. He felt arms grab his wrists and pull them away from his mouth. "You're in hospital; they put a tube down your throat to help you breathe. I'll go get someone to take it out."

A few seconds later he returned with a couple of doctors. Noel gagged and coughed as the tube was pulled out of his burning throat. It felt good to be able to breathe again.

"What happened little man?"

Noel shrugged. "I felt dizzy. I guess I must have fallen in."

"Had you been drinking?"

"Fuck off! You know I hadn't you were right there, you knob."

The other man blinked a hurt expression on his face. "There's no need for that."

Noel frowned. He'd only meant it as a joke; they always said things like that to each other. Why was Julian taking it so seriously? "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you mate."

"That's ok." An awkward silence fell. Noel closed his eyes, hoping to clear the slight headache he still had.

"Naboo and Bollo are here. They wanted to check you were alright."

Noel opened one eye and looked at his friend. "I'm not really in the mood, yeah?"

He seemed to take this at face value. "Ok, I'll tell them to go away."

"Has Mike called my mum?" Noel asked suddenly. She would be worried sick if she knew he'd had an accident.


Noel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you know. Medium height, dark hair, called Diane? Ringing any bells?"

"You don't have parents. You were brought up in the forest by Brian Ferry, remember?"

"Look, Julian, no offense but I said I'm not in the mood, yeah?"

"I think I'll go and get Naboo…" he opened the door and beckoned in a small man in robes and someone in a gorilla suit. Noel smiled weakly.

"You alright Mike? Dave? How come you're dressed like that?"

The tiny 'shaman' exchanged a startled look with Julian.

"Vince? What're you talking about you ball-bag? I'm Naboo, that's who."

"Yeah, ok Mike. Quit pissing around, it's not funny."

"What has happened to precious Vince?" the gorilla said, pushing himself over to stand by the bed.

"Dave, what're you on about? Stop calling me Vince, this isn't funny. I don't…" he stopped, his eyes scanning the eyes in front of him. Those were not Dave's eyes! He looked at the face, trying desperately to see where the costume ended and Dave began, but he couldn't see the join. He reached out a hand to touch the fur. It felt warm. It felt alive. "Oh, shit." Noel muttered. And passed out.

Don't know when I'll be updating this one, coz I already have two stories on the go and a load of exam revision to do! The idea just came to me so I thought I'd write it down before I forgot it. Should I continue? Reviews are loved as always.