pairing: konanshika
prompt: "Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. __?" , "lavender" and "atonement"
prompter: ohwhatsherface in a bootcamp on MSN

I wrote this about a year ago.

It was a general Law of the Universe that Shikamaru could sleep in class as long as he got 100s on all of his tests. In exchange for fabulous marks that made his teachers look good, Shikamaru got to nap all freakin' day.

Naturally Shikamaru figured that the same Rule of Life would apply to ceramics class. In exchange for passing all the tests, he could nap. The first two days of the class he had stayed awake to be polite (Konan-sensei was going over grading policy, so it wasn't like she even noticed when he began to doze off during the middle of her (very boring) introduction).

But they were starting actual art today, so when Naruto began throwing clay around and that strange Deidara student-teacher-dude started screaming about art being a bang, Shikamaru decided to lean against the window and begin his fourth period nap. It was rather nice—the kiln was humming to his right, the windowpane was warm from sunlight, Naruto was being sent out to the office, and—

"Shikamaru, are you seriously sleeping in my ceramics class? Detention."

Um, what?


It was 3:00 PM, and instead of driving himself home, Shikamaru was now walking (very slowly) towards his 4th period classroom.

Hands in his pockets, Shikamaru dragged himself and his too-heavy bookbag inside of the art room and sat down. Konan-sensei wasn't there yet, but he figured he would be out of detention very soon. After all, he just had to explain the Code of the World to her, and then he'd be home free.

Lazily, he unzipped his bookbag and peered in to find Atonement. He dimly remembered being told to read it for English. Might as well read the first few pages before going home to Sparknote it.

"Put the book away, Shikamaru. This is detention, not free period."

Konan strode into her classroom with a boxful of paints and set them down on the counter. She brushed a few strands of dark hair out of her face before washing her hands in the sink, scrubbing at paint stains on her skin. "You do know why you're here, yes?" she asked him, eyeing him with heavily eyeshadowed eyes.

Weren't teachers supposed to refrain from wearing hooker makeup? Shikamaru wondered vaguely to himself. "Um, no, not really, ma'am," his mouth said.

"You fell asleep in class today," Konan informed him. "Not a very good start to the semester, is it?" She walked over to her desk—what the hell, was that a hip-sway?—and sat down on her desk chair, idly picking up a piece of paper and beginning to fold it.

"No, I don't suppose it's a good start," Shikamaru agreed, "but you must have heard of the Rule, right sensei?" He leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head.

Konan shot him a look. "Enlighten me," she drawled sarcastically. "I'd love to learn all about this Rule."

Ignoring the sarcasm, Shikamaru shot her a look right back at her and her whorishly shadowed eyelids. "The Rule is that I'm allowed to sleep in class as long as I get 100s on my tests," he told her. He stood up, "So, now that that's cleared up, I'll—"

"Not so fast," Konan cut him off. "The "tests" in ceramics are completed projects," she told Shikamaru while folding the sheet of paper in her hands without looking. "So unless you have a kiln and clay and glaze at home to use, I don't think you'll be getting 100s if you sleep in my class." She did a few more folds and tugged at the edges of her folded paper. "Pretty, yes?"

She held out a completed paper flower to show Shikamaru before putting it in her hair.

"Oh yes, very pretty," Shikamaru offered. "It's, uh, a lavender, right?"

Konan rolled her eyes. "For someone who claims to be so smart that was an appallingly stupid answer. A lavender plant has a bunch of skinny stems with cluster-like blossoms. This is just a rose."

"Oh, right." He shrugged. It was paper, it was kind of difficult to tell.

Konan sighed and walked over to Shikamaru, sitting on the table he was seated at. "So you're going to stay awake from now on, right?" she asked, glancing down at him through her skanky-thick eyelashes.

If Shikamaru had one ounce of not-lazy in him, he would've laughed. "Um, no," he told his teacher frankly. "Can't you just give me a written test?"

"Um, no," Konan said, mocking her student. "Come on, Shikamaru, I can't compromise an actual ceramics project with a written test," she said leaning in closer to him. She batted—what the fuck—her skanky-lashes. "That'd make me a bad teacher, you see…"

Shikamaru gave his teacher another Look. "Are you trying to seduce me Mrs."—he glanced at the diamond ring on her left hand pointedly—"Pein?"

Konan sat up straighter and crossed her arms across her chest. "Of course not," she said, crossing her legs as well. She was wearing black stilettos. And they were not sensible teacher heels. "What would make you suggest such a—"

Shikamaru sighed. "Because if you were, I suppose it would be possible to work something out, since…"

She was batting those damned skanky-lashes again.

Yeah, I don't even know. Let's just blame Pina.