A/N: I hate puppyshipping. I DESPISE puppyshipping. Puppyshipping makes me twich and spaz and want to gouge my eyes out. But at least the characters in puppyshipping can plausibly interact with each other. (Puppy was the previous round) Klepto is just... random. Because of my severe lack of plot bunnies, I'm going to go to my AU where Yami Bakura and Atem are thieves, and also where my two other fics, "I'm Never Robbing a Bank With You Again" and "Cops and Robbers" take place.

I don't usually go for Yugi and Atem being brothers in an alternate reality, but since I've already established darkshipping and am supposed to be establishing kleptoshipping, I didn't want to stick puzzle in there, too. So they're brothers instead.

Rated T for violence and language.

Disclaimer: Why the HECK would I write this if I owned Yugioh? I mean, seriously, this isn't even in the same universe!


"Shit, shit..."

"Hang on, we're almost there--"

"I'm not gonna die--OW!! Damn, that hurt!"

"What kind of thief king are you? Suck it up!"

"'Suck it up' You just grabbed the arm where I was shot. Ahh--SHIT!"

"Yugi! Hey, Yugi, open the door!"

Atem kicked at the door a couple times. He would've knocked, if he hadn't been trying to haul a wounded Bakura into his apartment.

"I can stand!" Bakura growled, pulling away from Atem. "It's just a scratch."

"Ni-san?" A voice called from behind the door. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, open the door!" Atem shouted back, then turned to Bakura. "It is not a scratch. You're bleeding everywhere!"

"You don't die from bleeding," Bakura said. Atem just stared at him. Bakura's face reddened and he yelled quickly, "I meant that it's not bleeding that much!" Atem was about to yell back at him when they were interrupted.

"Ni..." The door swung open, and both robbers looked at the short man in the doorway. Yugi blinked a couple times, quite thoroughly surprised to see the 'Thief King' bleeding all over his welcome mat. "...san?"

Atem suddenly became serious again and, grabbing Bakura's arm, dragged his partner into the apartment. Bakura swore loudly while Atem shushed and Yugi closed the door behind them.

"Dammit, Atem, I'm fine!" Bakura protested as Atem forced him into a chair and threw a towel at him.

"Just stop the bleeding!" He shouted over his shoulder, going into another room. Bakura grumbled. "Yugi, help him out!"

"Uh..." Yugi approached Bakura nervously. The thief glared at the younger Mutou and proceeded to wrap the towel around his bleeding bicep.

"I can do it myself!" he yelled to Atem. Yugi looked around nervously and wished his brother would hurry up.

"Here," Atem said breathlessly, striding back into the room. He tossed a box of gauze to his brother. Yugi jumped forward to catch it. "Take care of him, Yugi." He stopped briefly to grab a coat out of his closet, then headed for the door.

"Wait, ni-san!" Yugi chased after his brother. "Where are you going?"

Atem was pulling the coat on. "I'm going to get some help. The bullet's still in there."

"But if you get caught--!"

"I won't," Atem said, turning to leave the room. His hand was on the door handle, when he glanced back over his shoulder on an afterthought. "Yugi?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry to barge in like this," Atem said, and he left.

"N-no problem," Yugi said to the empty doorway. He would've stood there for quite a while if it weren't for the loud curses coming from his living room. He looked down at the gauze in his hands and remembered the injured thief king. He ran back into the apartment.

Bakura glanced up at him when he walked in. Per Atem's instructions, Bakura had wrapped the towel around his arm and was holding it in place.

"I'm fine," he said quickly before Yugi could do anything. "Just go and wait for your idiot brother to come back."

"You sure?" Yugi asked heistantly. As afraid as he was of his brother's partner, he didn't want him to die.

"Yes," Bakura growled unhappily. "I don't know why he went to get help. In the old days, we took the bullets out ourselves, and it's not in that deep--" He broke off suddenly, and looked up at Yugi, grinning wickedly.

"Um... Bakura-kun...?"

"You got a pair of tweezers, kid?"


"Bakura-kun, maybe we should wait for the doctor..." Yugi said hesitantly.

"What's wrong, kid? Can't handle a little blood?" He said, still smirking. Yugi couldn't help but notice how Bakura adressed him despite the fact that they were only a few years apart.

"A little blood, yeah," Yugi said, a pair of bloody tweezers in hand. "But..." he gestured towards the floor, where a large puddle of blood was forming. "Bakura-kun, I think it might've hit an artery or something--"

"I'm fine!" he insisted, holding the blood-soaked towel in one hand. "Come on, get the thing out so we can rub it in your brother's face when he gets back!"

"Okay," Yugi sighed as Bakura held out his arm. Yugi shakily inserted the tweezers into the wound.

"Ngh," Bakura bit his tounge to keep from yelling. Yugi glanced at him, but Bakura nodded, urging him on. Yugi gently poked around with the tweezers. He felt it his something hard and poked a little harder at it, hoping it wasn't a bone.

"That's it," Bakura said through gritted teeth. Yugi shifted the instrument in his hand, and tried to grab at the bullet. He pushed the tweezers together, and felt them scrape the sides of the bullet and miss. Yugi quickly grabbed at the bullet again and this time he wedged it perfectly between the tongs of the tweezer. With a triumphant cry, he pulled it out.

Bakura couldn't help but yell in pain when Yugi ripped the bullet out of his arm. The smile on Yugi's face quickly vanished, and he looked up at the thief king, concerned.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Bakura insisted before Yugi could say anything. He was starting to shake a little, and his face was pale. "Just a little dizzy..." He slid sideways off the chair.

"Bakura-kun!" Yugi exclaimed, supporting the injured thief.

"Get the bandages," Bakura groaned, pulling himself back up in the chair. "Ah, shit..."

Yugi jumped up and grabbed the gauze off the table. He ripped the box open and sat back down next to Bakura. Pulling a square of cloth out, he offered it to Bakura. He glanced at it and closed his eyes.

"You do it," he said, breathing heavily. "Dammit... didn't think it was going to bleed this much..." Yugi gently pressed the gauze against Bakura's arm.

"At least we only have the entry wound to worry about," Yugi said after a few minutes of silence. Bakura opened his eyes a crack. Yugi expected him to scoff or mock him in some way--he'd met his brother's partner before and knew what to expect--but instead the thief just shrugged and murmured agreement.

Yugi applied more gauze, and tried again to strike up a conversation. The last thing he wanted was an unconsious, bleeding thief king on his hands. "So... what happened?"

Bakura looked at Yugi again, and tried to sit up a little straighter. "We got careless," he muttered. "Knocked out the security guard, but forget to tie him up. He woke up, saw us making off with the money, shot at us."

Yugi pressed on the wound a little harder. Blood was still soaking through. Bakura groaned ever so slightly. Yugi glanced up at him, then quickly looked back down at the wound he was tending.

"That doesn't sound like you guys," Yugi commented, trying to keep Bakura talking.

"Yeah, well, we were in a hurry," Bakura said dismissively. Yugi raised an eyebrow and looked at him suspiciously. For being such a good thief, Bakura was a really bad liar. The elder man glanced down at Yugi, trying to look innocent.

"What?" he said innocently. When Yugi kept staring, he changed tactics. Glaring, he repeated the question in a much harsher voice. "What?!"

"N-nothing," Yugi said quickly, grabbing another piece of gauze to put on the wound. Bakura quickly regretted snapping at him. There were a few moments of awkward silence.

"Fine. We got in a fight," Bakura said. "I was mad at him, he was mad at me, and both of us just wanted to get the money and get the hell out."

"Oh," Yugi said, surprised. The fact that his brother and Bakura got into a fight that affected their work was overshadowed by the fact that Bakura actually told him.

"You might not be seeing as much of me, kid," Bakura added eventually. Yugi remembered all the times the thief had come to the apartment either picking up or leaving Atem after a job. The two had argued, sure, but he'd never seen them have any lasting anger at the other.

"Why... why were you mad at each other?" Yugi said hesitantly. Bakura said nothing, his head starting to droop a bit." "Hey... Bakura-kun?" He gently put a hand on the thief's shoulder. Bakura started, and looked up at Yugi.

"What?" he asked. Yugi noticed that the blood had finally stopped soaking through the gauze in his hand.

"I think the bleeding stopped," Yugi said. "Can you hold the gauze on while I get the bandages?"

Bakura grunted and put his hand over the bandages. Yugi got up and crossed the room. Behind him, he heard the thief king shift in his chair, then mutter a few curses. Yugi into the bathroom and pulled some bandages out of the cabinet. He paused before heading back to Bakura.

You won't be seeing as much of me.

"That's too bad," Yugi said quietly, too afraid to say it directly too the thief king. "I'll miss you."


A/N: Blame Bakura's OOCness on RENT. -.-;; My WMP started playing "I'll Cover You" while I wrote the end of this.