Summary: Most stories are false if they start with 'what if...', but that's not going to stop some strange rumors from circulating around the Enterprise...
D/C: What if I owned Star Trek? That'd be amazing, but not true.
A/N: A 'sequel' of sorts to 'In the Elevator'. If you'd like, read that one first. It will help a lot. And it's funny. But here's the basic summary: Spock and McCoy pretended to admit their feelings in the elevator (turbolift) to freak Kirk out, who was watching. They kissed. And an ensign Juliet thinks it's for real. That's all. I've been wanting to write this for, like, EVA.
What if McCoy wasn't a vaguely bitter, incredibly sarcastic man? Chapel wondered. What if he wasn't so rude to Vulcans, and actually cared about what Spock said? Well, she thought, it doesn't really matter...it's too late to change him.
Chapel and McCoy were busy hunched over a dead body. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't a redshirt. It was an alien from a ship that they had found stranded near the Phoenix Nebula. They had no idea why the aliens were all dead, but they were determined to find out.
Sulu walked in, his smile evaporating as he looked at the body. "Um...is this a bad time?" he asked. "I, uh, needed to talk to Christine."
"Sure, Sulu, come right in and make some small talk as we're busy dissecting this guy's liver." McCoy grumbled.
"Uh, no thanks." Sulu said, turning a shade of green. McCoy sighed.
"It was a joke, Mr. Sulu."
"You're joking...as you're performing an autopsy." Sulu said.
"Well, no point in being depressed. What do you want?" McCoy asked.
"I needed to talk to Christine. I'll leave my 'report'-" he winked, "outside, okay?"
Chapel chuckled at their secret joke, but cast her eyes downward, worryful of the Doctor's wrath.
McCoy payed no attention to either of them, instead deciding to make a cut near the alien's liver. Sulu's face turned green again, and he quickly exited the room.
Together, both Nurse Chapel and Dr. McCoy realized that the alien had died of completely natural causes. "How is that?" Chapel asked.
"Well, I don't know. Maybe something with their-"
Ensign Juliet, a troublemaker with a mind for slash, walked in. "Oh, hello Dr. McCoy." she grinned at him. He sighed and turned back to the PADD. "Hi Christine! What's up, girl?"
"Performing an autopsy."
"That's cool, that's cool." Juliet said absentmindedly. She looked at Dr. McCoy. "Watcha writing?"
"None of your business." McCoy snapped. He sent his PADD next to another one and left. "I'll get a better tricorder. Christine, get the lasers."
"Yes, Doctor." Christine said, going into another room. Juliet giggled excitedly, and after seeing that there was no one in the room, grabbed what she thought was McCoy's PADD and ran off.
She looked at the PADD and giggled again. "Let's see the entry for today, shall we?"
CMO's Personal log. What if...what if I let my guard down? Dammit, I can't. But...that Vulcan. That green-blooded, pointy-eared...handsome-
At this point, Juliet screamed so loudly that a few lieutenants were wondering whether or not to call security. An insane person loose on the Enterprise could mean some disastrous consequences...
Vulcan. Spock. Those brown eyes. Dammit! I shouldn't be writing this. Why am I writing this? Spock. How do I tell Jim that I'm in love with his freaking First Officer? How do I tell him? I'm a doctor, not Cupid. I'm...I love him.
"Oh, poor McCoy." said Juliet, reading the rest of the log. It seemed to be in the same vein. "I'll help him." She started to send the log to Spock, but stopped. "I can't believe I'm right. McCoy does love Spock. And I've told everyone this, but they don't listen. I'll show them. I'll show them all." She quickly made a few adjustments to the sending address (or rather, addresses) and clicked send.
Kirk was, once more, bored. After discovering a few days ago that the aliens naturally die when exposed to the gases around the Nebula (and making sure that it wasn't harmful to humans), there was nothing left to do. The Douglas was fighting Klingons, the Utopia was handling a diplomatic situation gone awry. The Enterprise had nothing to do. Kirk yawned. He considered going to the Rec Room, but the last time he had been there he had gotten into more trouble than he'd wanted. So, he was forced to remain on the bridge, talking with Scotty (or, rather, listening to Scotty) about warp engines or nacelles or...something to do with engines. That man really did have problems.
"Aye, an' Cap'n, I never saw beauty till I saw the Enterprise." Scotty finished.
"Uh...It...is a good ship, Scotty." he agreed, yawning slightly. There was a ping noise, and he looked down at the PADD he held. "Hey, a new message. From...Bones, it looks like."
Kirk opened the message and began to read. "What's it say, Cap'n?" asked Scotty. There was silence. "Uh, Cap'n? Kirk?" He poked a dumbstruck Kirk slightly, and read over his shoulder.
"Is it really his, Cap'n?"
"I guess so." Kirk said. "He must have sent it to the wrong...person." He looked at Scotty. "We won't say anything about this to McCoy. This...letter was supposed to go to Spock. It's..."
"Personal." Scotty finished. "We won't say a word ta him."
"Right." Kirk looked at the log one last time, and deleted. "But who knew the good doctor had a thing for..."
"Hobgoblins." Scotty finished.
"Excuse me, Mr. Scott?" Spock asked, who had walked unto the bridge a moment ago.
"Uh...nothin', Mr. Spock."
McCoy walked to the bridge, determination showing in his visage. But that faltered as he noticed some of the looks he was getting. A few people were raising their eyebrows as they passed, and as he told some of them he was going to the bridge, they asked, "To see Spock?"
"What's it to you?" he growled back. One girl, in particular, irked him. She was an ensign Julie or Janine or something.
"Good luck, Doctor." She and her friends giggled.
"What?" he asked.
She only grinned and nudged some of her friends in response. "Women are illogical. Er, insane. Dammit, Spock's been getting to me." he muttered to himself.
"I bet he has." a lieutenant answered, winking.
McCoy blinked a few times. Did that man just say that...in a flirtatious manner? What the hell was wrong with him? McCoy shook his head. He must have just been imagining it. There was no way...
As Dr. McCoy walked unto the bridge, more than a few people stopped to look at him. McCoy touched his face. Was there something on it? Why was everybody looking at him? "Hey Jim." McCoy said.
"Hey Bones!" replied Kirk. "You okay?" he seemed concerned for his friend.
"Yes, I'm fine." McCoy said. "Anything up?"
"No, just the routine-"
"Don't jinx it." McCoy interrupted.
Sulu turned around, a large, almost nervous, grin on his face. Sort of like when he gets a physical, thought McCoy. "And how are you, Doctor?"
"I thought I just answered this." McCoy said. "About two seconds ago. You deaf, Lieutenant?"
"No, sir. Just...wanted to make sure you're happy."
"I'm ecstatic." McCoy said dryly.
"Yeah, that's good." Sulu said, the smile still on his face. "Wonderful, actually."
"Uh huh. Just...great. Just...yeah."
"What is wrong with you?"
"I'm...not feeling well."
"If you need to go to sickbay-"
"No. Just...stressed. Can I just take some time off, Captain?" Sulu asked.
"Granted, lieutenant." Kirk replied. Sulu rushed from the bridge, a guilty look on his face. "But you are okay Bones? Nothing is-"
"Shut up." McCoy said. He walked around to the Science Station, where Spock was huddled by his computer. "Well, if it isn't my favorite green-blooded, pointy-eared hobgoblin?"
Spock, in response, made an almost human grimace or wince, and then turned. "Yes, doctor."
"What? Not going to banter?"
"We do not banter, Doctor. We discuss." Spock said, before he could stop himself. Was not arguments a type of Earth flirtation? He didn't want to give McCoy any wrong ideas...
"No, we banter and pretend to discuss."
"No, we simply discuss."
"That is simply not true." Spock argued.
"See? Now we're bantering about if we banter. It proves my point." McCoy said. "Ha. Beat-"
"We are discussing our discussions that you misname 'banters'." Spock interrupted.
"That." McCoy finished lamely. "May I speak to you?"
Spock cringed inside. No, no! he thought. That log couldn't be true. It is too...illogical for it to be McCoy's. Though, he reasoned, McCoy isn't very logical... "We are speaking at this very moment, Doctor."
"No, we're bantering, but that's beside the point. May I speak to you in private?" A few of the bridge members looked up at this, their eyebrows raised. But no eyebrows were raised higher than that of Spock's.
"If...you would like to." Spock said finally.
"Well, I suppose we can talk in the elevator. Though, I'm not sure it's safe." laughed McCoy, with a look at Kirk.
"Very funny." he replied.
"Permission to leave, Captain?" Spock asked. His eyes seemed to be imploring Jim to deny it, but Kirk apparently didn't get the memo.
"Granted, Mr. Spock."
Spock suppressed a sigh as he followed McCoy into the turbolift. It was all very well when McCoy and he pretended to be lovers—that was an sociological experiment. But he was not ready for a real life version of the time spent in the elevator.
"Listen, Spock." McCoy said, fidgeting with his hands. "I...remember a few weeks ago, in the elevator?"
"Yes, doctor." Spock replied hesitantly.
"I've been thinking about that."
"I know." Spock said.
McCoy threw him a quizzical look, but continued. "I'm going to be frank, here, Spock. Okay?"
"I understand what you are feeling, doctor." Spock said.
"I thought you might. We've been...not enemies, but...rivals for a long time on the Enterprise, and I want to change that."
"I am...flattered, but I cannot-"
McCoy continued as if Spock didn't speak, looking at his ankles. "I've buried the hatchet about my bigoted tendencies. I just...in the elevator, I realized...I want to be your friend."
"I—What?" Spock asked. Friend? Not boyfriend? Not lover? Had he misheard?
"I want to be your friend. I know it's hard to believe, but I think that we have a lot in common. Um...yeah."
"Is this what you wanted to say?" Spock asked. Friends? Did not McCoy want to be his lover? The copy of the log he had sent him was incredibly clear on that point.
"Yeah. Want to, uh, give it a shot?" McCoy asked as the turbolift slowed.
"Are you..." All of Spock's clever responses that he had prepared if McCoy asked for his love had vanished. What was going on?
McCoy had taken Spock's hesitancy as a sign of mistrust or even rejection. "Fine, never mind. Forget it. If you don't give a damn...I was trying to be an adult and-" He stormed out of the elevator. Spock grabbed his wrist, careful not to touch McCoy's skin.
"Doctor, I accept your offer. You are quite right. We have been at odds for too long." Spock glanced at McCoy's smiling face, and quickly realized that perhaps he wanted to be friends before becoming lovers. He released his grip on McCoy's fingers, not wanting to give him the wrong idea.
"Alright, Spocko. Do you want to play some chess at the Rec Room tonight?" McCoy asked. Spock's insides tightened against his Vulcan will. "You'll kick my ass, but hey! That's expected."
"I...of course, Doctor. I will see you when my shift is done." Spock went back into the elevator, wondering what was going on.
Please review. This has the potential to be a two-shot, or I can have many more chapter hijinks with Spock and McCoy if you'd like...but I'm not sure what you'd like if you don't review. So, uh, REVIEW!!