Looking At You Through the Glass
For those of you wondering, yes it is a lyric from a Stonesour song.
There will be a sequel to this so stay tuned.
"Aw fuck you Matty! You always win!" I yelled and slammed the controller down on the floor.
"Calm down baby bro. It ain't my fault you suck at racing games." He said as he shrugged his shoulders.
'Shut up fatty." I got up and went to the kitchen for some lemonade. I know I ain't really supposed to have it. Its all Daddy drinks. "Daddy?" I peered around the refrigerator. I shrugged and poured some lemonade into a glass.
"What the hell are you doin' in my lemonade boy?!" Daddy hollered from the kitchen table.
"Well I said "Daddy" and you didn't answer me. I figured it was ok to have some."
"Fine, just one glass though. You and your brother suck that stuff down like its water."
"Hey Daddy can I have some lemonade?" Matt walked into the kitchen.
"Sure Matt have some. Your brother already helped himself." He said while motioning towards me with his head. I hate when he makes me feel like a piece of crap. He always does that to me and I have no idea why. He's done that to me ever since we were little.
"Whatever y'all I'm goin' to Shannon's. I'll be home later." I said and set my glass down.
"Not before you rinse out your glass." I sighed and did as I was told. It's ridiculous isn't it? Here I am, twenty years old and still taking orders from my dad.
"You goin' to your butt buddy's house?" Matt asked.
"He's not my butt buddy you asshole"
"Watch your mouth Jeff." Daddy said.
"Oh defensive Jeffro. Don't get so defensive." Matt said as he turned and walked back to the living room. I looked at his butt.
"What's the matter with you boy? You a fag?" Daddy asked from behind me.
"No Daddy." I stammered and made a run for Shannon's. I burst into Shannon's door outta breath and flop beside him on his couch. He turns away from his game and grins at me.
"Nothin, my daddy thinks I m a fag."
"But you are. Well you aint a fag, you're just gay. Sorry didn't mean to use the harsh F-Word." He notices how I cringe a little . Shannon is the only one that knows about me. I haven't even told my brother.
"Shannon, 'member how I told you I like some one?"
"Are you trying to tell me that is me you like? 'Cause I m ok with it man, I mean I'll try anything once for you man."
I Smile. "You wish Shan but no. Its Matt. I m in love with Matt."
"Oh that's cool too but, he's your brother and all. How's that gonna work out?
"I don't know. Its like looking at him through glass ya know. Like I can see him all I want, I just know that I cant touch him ya know what I m saying?"
"Yeah like how when you go to the game store they got all these games and you want 'em all but you cant grab 'em to steal 'em?"
"Ok…? But you see that's stealing, this is being in love with your brother. I don't know how he's gonna take it."
"What if it ruins you two?"
"Well of course I'll be all broken and hurt but I'll still have you right?"
"Yeah of course Jeffro." He pauses for a long time and plays his game. All of a sudden he stops his game and turns to me. "So how are you gonna tell 'im?"
"I don't really know…" I take the control away from him and start playing his game.
"Maybe I should go tell 'im for ya huh?"
I pause the game and turn to him wide eyed." Don't you dare." Shanny smiles at me.
He gets up and flies out the door and tears down the winding path that connects our two houses. I m close at his heels but still not fast as he is. He barges through the screen door.
"Where's Matt?" He asked, his face flushed bright red.
"Up in his room. You know where he is." Daddy said pointing to the stairs.
I ran to the stairs but Shannon, being smaller than me somehow got underneath me and ahead of me. We both ran right into Matt's door and threw it opened.
"MATT DONT LISTEN TO HIM-"
"YOU'LL NEVER GUESS!!-
"Ok you two settle down and tell me one by one. Ok Shannon you start." He said with a finger pointed sternly at us.
"NO YOU CANT LET SHANNON GO FIRST!" I hollered.
"Why? Do you think I m gonna tell him?" Shannon giggled.
"Tell me what? What has gotten into you guys?"
"Well Matt," I hang my head." The truth is I love you."
"Well no shit you're my baby brother."
"Naw man he means he's in love with you." Shannon said.
Matt looks at me long and hard. His face twists into a disgusted look.
"That's sick man." He says. "You two need to get out now." He says shooing us with his hands.
"Is it cause you're gonna touch yourself?" Shannon asks as we leave the room. Matt scowls at him.
"Uhm Matt?" I ask quietly before he shuts the door.
"What Jeff?" He sighs. I hate when he looks at me like that. Its like he's ripping me apart with his eyes.
"Don't tell Daddy please? He already don't like me as much as he does you." I can't bring myself to look at him.
"Yeah Jeff I won't ok. Now get lost or something."
I turn and follow Shannon down the stair case. Daddy's voice booms as he tells me to take out the trash cause " Matt's done it the past few nights." I do as I m told then head to the living room to play with Shan for a bit. I like to play with Shannon. He knows I m not good at racing games so he lets me win sometimes. I know he's not good at them RPG games so I let him win sometimes. I m actually really good at those. The sun goes down behind the mountains casting a beautiful orange light in the living room. After a bit me and Shan get up and go to the kitchen for sandwiches and drinks. He makes a ham and cheese and I make a peanut butter and jelly. We cut them diagonally and each gets half a of the others sandwich. We go back to the living room and put on some dumb new movie Daddy brought home.
"Damn I m tired, I m gonna go to bed a'ight Jeffro?" I nod my head and he goes upstairs to my room. I am left alone downstairs watching the stupid movie. Daddy went to the store and Matty probably still hates me. I sigh and go back to the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream. Fuck. Somebody ate my cookie dough ice cream. I slam the freezer shut and go back to the living room but stop in the door way. Matt is sitting on the couch, his back to me. I really don't know if I should go back out there. Taking a deep breath I go sit on the other couch and keep my eyes on the T.V .
"What are you watching?" He looks at me.
Without looking at him I answer." Just some movie Daddy brought home."
"Oh, ya like it so far?"
"No not really."
He turns back to the movie. He glances at the clock and gets up, he comes and sits next to me. I can feel the sweat dripping down my body as I tense up a bit.
"Hey Jeffro Im sorry 'bout they way I treated you. I was just scared is all."
"How long you been gay for?"
"Since I could remember I guess."
"No I mean gay for me?"
"Since I was about twelve maybe thirteen."
There is a long silence and then he kisses me. it's a shock to me and I just sit there. His rough hands gently pull my chin closer to his face and he begins to kiss my face all over. It takes me a while to respond but I do with kisses to his neck and shoulders. He moans a little bit. For some reason I think he was lying to me and Shan about being a good kisser, he's not as good as he claims to have been. My hands roam down his think tank top to touch the soft skin on his back. He tangles his fingers in my hair while I gently pull on his curls. They are damp and slip through my fingers. He pulls away from me and stares into my eyes as if in a trance. His fingers touch my cheeks, neck, and slowly work their way down from there. He gropes along my legs and nips at my earlobe. I wrap my arms around his neck and roll my head back, granting him access to the soft flesh under my neck. He takes the offer and licks my Adams apple. I begin to moan. He stops and looks at me.
"You moan like a whore Jeff." He whispers nuzzling his nose into my neck.
"Huh? Oh what? Hell no I don't!"
"I don't think I was supposed to see or hear anything I just seen." Shannon says from the top steps. "I'm juss gonna go back to bed and pretend I ain't seen a thing." He turns and we hear my bedroom door shut.
"Now where were we?" Matt asks.
I begin to nibble on his bottom lip and rub his stomach. He starts breathing hard and tugging at my shirt. He manages to pull it off and caresses my chest. I look at him, my eyes pleading. He understands and pulls his tank top over his head and tosses it to the floor. I lower myself so I can gently take one of his nipples in my mouth. He moans. I smile at him. He pulls me up and pulls my boxers down. I in turn take his boxers down. We've always had a habit of running around in our boxers. He smiles at me slyly.
"Have you ever had it before?"
"What? Gay sex?"
"Yeah. Have you?"
"Well once or twice with Shannon. It was just an experiment ok."
"So do I have to prepare you?" He asks while putting two fingers in my hole. He positions me the way he wants me. On my knees in front of him. Then he begins to lick my ass cheeks. I giggle feeling his stubbly hairs graze my ass cheeks. He sticks two more fingers in and my eyes about fall out of my head.
"Goddamn what are you preparing me for? An elephant?"
"No, me." He whispers in my ear. He starts sucking on the back of my neck, near my hair line and slowly aligns himself with my hole. "You ready?" He asks. I nod my head and he slowly pushes into me. I grimace a little at his thickness but after he thrusts in and out a bit it starts to feel good. I throw my head back and let my self, need I say it, moan like a whore. He grips my shoulders and pounds into me harder and faster. My knees are rubbing on the carpet causing carpet burns that sting with every thrust he makes. I wouldn't notice these till the next morning. He reaches down and fondles my balls. His fingers barely graze them and drives me wild. His hands steadily pump my cock until I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach and cum, softly moaning his name.
"Its your turn now." I say crawling up and onto him. "On your knees now." I command him. He obeys.
"Jeff, be gentle with me ok."
I smile and cup his balls in my left hand and lick three fingers on my right hand to shove in his ass. He yelps at the pain.
"Its ok." I say softly an thrust my fingers in and out gently. "You ready?" I ask.
He nods and I plunge into him. He arches his back in pleasure and softly starts to whisper sexy things and "I love you." I smile hearing those three words come from his lips while pound in and out of his tight ass. I pump his cock roughly and he grits his teeth. I can feel myself about to come for the second time as he spills all over the carpet and my hands. A few seconds later I shoot into his ass, filling him with me. I get off of him and he hurriedly gets dressed. I just pull on my boxers and flop back on the couch, out of breath.
"You think we could make this work Matty? " I ask.
"Of course we can. Anything is possible."
We hear a noise and realize Daddy is home.
"Here hurry, make something up!" Matty says while smoothing his hair and flopping on the couch, out of breath also.
Daddy walks in and I look up at him innocently. Matt kicks his shirt over the huge cum stain on the carpet with his toe.
"What're you boys doin'." He asks.
"Nothin' Daddy Matty was juss gettin' mad at me cause I took the remote so he was wrestling me." I answer quickly.
"Matthew keep your hands off your baby brother please." He sighs and goes to the kitchen mumbling something about us boys.
"Well I'm gonna go to bed now. 'Night Jeffro."
"Yeah 'night Matt. See ya in the morning." I give him a little hug and go to my room. First I moved Shannon out of the way so there was room for me, then stripped to my boxers and crawled into bed beside Shan.
The Next morning...
I get up and get a bowl of cereal. Matt is up already and reading the paper. He looks over the paper at me and smiles.
"Sleep good?" He asks.
"Pretty good. And yourself?"
"Eh. It was ok. " There's a long silence then he looks up at me over the paper again. " Hey um, about last night. I can't do it Jeff. I just can't. I'm sorry." He says it like he doesn't even care, like it doesn't hurt him to say it.
I look down at my cereal and move it around with my spoon. I guess he'll always be like some exhibit that I'll never be able to touch, but only see and be tempted. I sigh.
"I still love you though." I say.
Review please! :D And thanks for reading!!