The Fangirl Horror

Demyx ran as fast as his long legs could carry him, not daring to glance back at the horror pursuing him. Why me!? Why do I have to be cute!? Curse you Square Enix! CURSE YOU! He turned a corner, and found himself confronted by a brick wall. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He fell to his knees. It's no use, I'm done for! The fangirls surrounded the cornered musician. "WE GOT HIM!" The Melodious Nocturne curled into a ball and closed his eyes, I hate this. I hope they at least leave me my underwear this time... Suddenly he heard someone cry out in an oddly Australian voice, "LOOK! IT'S SASUKE!" The fangirls all turned to look for the Uchiha, and an orange skinned arm wrapped around Demyx. Suddenly he was in the air, high above the fangirls. He looked at his savior, orange skin, long white hair, battle armor and tiny black briefs, "JEICE!"

The alien looked down at the musician, "We bishi's gotta' stick together, right?" "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!" Demyx babbled, "I thought I was toast!" "You almost were, mate. What are you doing out on the streets ? Don't you know the fangirls are always searching for another pretty-boy to chase?" "I had to get some strings for my sitar, and ..." "There's a little thing called Ebay, you can buy stuff and get it delivered without ever leavin' your house."

"Really?" Demyx asked, awed by the concept.

Down below, the mob of fangirls rushed off after 'Sasuke', not realizing they were actually chasing a large black duck.

"There it is, beautiful as life, GACF Headquarters!" Jeice grinned. The headquarters of Guys Against Crazed Fangirls, safe haven for all bishis. "You really should be more careful! Remember what happened to your mate Axel?" Demyx shuddered, Poor Axel, I really need to visit him at the asylum. "And what about last time they caught you?" Jeice set down on the grounds of the GACF. 'I remember you stumbling in stark naked with girl's names scrawled all over your body! You didn't set foot out of your apartment for a month!" Demyx blushed at the memory, it was so humiliating, but then, that was what the fangirls wanted. To humiliate any poor bishonen unlucky enough to fall into their vile clutches.

"You're lucky, Jeice, you an' Zarbon and the other Dragonball guys, you can all fly away when they come after you." The pair walked through the scanners and into the building, "You can even fire energy blasts! Unless I have my sitar and a ready supply of water, I'm screwed." Jeice just shook his head, "You should get yourself a tazer."

"But isn't that mean?" Poor naive Demyx asked. Jeice laughed, "You remember the naked pictures of you they posted on the internet?" Demyx shuddered, "Forget the tazer, I want me a machine gun!"

Sai walked by, holding a sketch pad "Hey Jeice, Demyx. Bad day?" "They almost got poor Demyx, but I saved his stupid bum." Sai nodded, "I never leave unless I have at least seven bodyguards. Sasuke hasn't set foot outside GACF grounds in two years, not after The Ice Cream Incident." Even Sai shuddered at the memory of that horrible day. "I've been thinking, what if I scarred myself up? Then they might leave me alone!" Demyx said hopefully. "You don't have a very high tolerance for pain, you scream when you get a papercut." "But they hurt!" Demyx whined.

Miles away...

"We caught him!" The girls surrounded 'Sasuke' "I want his shirt!" "I could get a fortune for his underwear on Ebay!" As they closed in, they noticed something strange about 'Sasuke', "He looks taller on TV!" "Wait! Sasuke doesn't have a beak!" The duck formerly known as 'Sasuke' honked, flapped it's wings and flew away.


Demyx and Axel copyright Square Enix

Jeice, Zarbon and Dragonball copyright Akira Toriyama

Sai, Sasuke copyright Masashi Kishimoto


I don't think Demyx is stupid, just innocent and naive. And papercuts do hurt.