A/N: Welcome to the end (of story one)
A/N: Welcome to the end (of story one)!
Disclaimer: I own nothing (but Esme)!
Dumbledore sat at his desk, pondering the evening's events. He'd just received news that his only professor that lacked horrible personality defects had run off with the crazy homicidal potions professor, the girl one, to go assist another potential- murderer. He had also received this news from the one man he didn't like, Cornelius Fudge, who had brought along with him Rita Skeeter, and also some legitimate reporter he'd never actually heard of. "How very sad and disturbing," he was saying to the reporters. "I always hate it when a professor goes mad and runs off with a woman half his age." At that precise moment, Esme burst into the room, pulling Snape by his hair, followed by a large black dog with a short man in his mouth, and three teenagers. "Good heavens! Esmeralda, why on earth is Severus bound and gagged?"
"H-he attacked me!" she sobbed. "I-i-it was only self-defense!"
However, the reporters seemed a bit distracted by the large, black dog that was quickly transforming into a skinny, pale man.
"You're Sirius Black!" cried the minister.
"Who were you expecting; Comical White?" He smiled at his weak joke. No one laughed. Peter Pettigrew rolled around on the floor.
"And that's—well it looks like it's Peter Pettigrew. What the hell is going on here?" Fudge looked at Dumbledore, who didn't seem surprised whatsoever.
Esme glanced over the three teenagers tied together, one with a broken leg; the wanted criminal with hair that touched his shoulder on one side and went down nearly to the elbow on the other; the man who was supposed to be dead, rolling about on the floor; and her bleeding, nearly unconscious, bound and gagged colleague.
"I think it's somewhat self-explanatory," she shrugged. Seeing the confused looks on the minister's, Dumbledore's, and the two reporters' faces, she launched into the story of deceit, treachery, and loathing.
"This has page one written all over it!" The legitimate reporter cried, snapping pictures. Rita Skeeter, though, looked bored.
"Were there any torrid love affairs?"
"No, though I once drunkenly kissed Severus when I was sixteen," Sirius said with a grin.
"Please untie Severus, Esmeralda," Dumbledore said serenely. "And where is Remus Lupin?"
"Running around in the forest, as a werewolf." She grinned wickedly at Snape. "But that's not my fault, is it, Potion Boy?"
"Ah, that would explain those signs Snape put up," The minister said, nodding. Gesturing to the "Professor Remus Lupin is none other than a man-eating beast!" sign sitting on Dumbledore's desk.
"I suppose I'll have to fire him," Dumbledore said sadly.
"Snape?" Esme inquired hopefully.
"No, Lupin. It's bad for the school; having a werewolf as a professor is never good for publicity." Dumbledore studied Sirius, "You know, you seem stable and normal. Would you like to become the new defensive arts professor?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Oh Sirius," Esme cried, "it's so wonderful that you're free!" Then, for reasons only she knew, Esme threw herself into his arms and pressed her lips to his. In this moment, Ron passed out unconscious, Rita Skeeter took photos, and Peter Pettigrew transformed back into a rat and climbed out an open window. But no one noticed, because they were too busy watching two idiots snog. Except for Snape, who couldn't say anything because he had yet to be untied.
"So, is the rule in France once you save a man's life, you get to start dating him?" Sirius laughed, basking in the sun. It was the day before everyone was to head home for the summer holidays. Sirius's innocence had been flaunted all over the Daily Prophet and the kiss had been on the front cover of Witch Weekly along with a story about Esme ending her steamy, adolescent love affair with Snape (where she got that, no one knew), and beginning a new one with Sirius. She'd gotten more letters from angry parents than Remus. It was something she was quite proud of.
"Not only dating, but I also own your soul."
"Well, if I hadn't given it to you the dementors would've gotten it."
"See? I am good for some things." She grinned, pulling him into a kiss, directly in front of a large group of female students. They nearly collapsed trying to hold in their giggles in. "Oh, grow up," Esme laughed. "So what's rooming with Sev been like?" Dumbledore had forced Sirius to spend the past few days rooming with Snape. He thought it would help them grow closer, as they were going to be working together next autumn. He'd even magicked them bunk beds.
"Oh it's wonderful. You know he snores?"
"Really?" She laughed, "Well, here we are." Sirius and Esme had been heading out to visit Hagrid, carrying a special gift. "Hagrid! Open up please!" As the door opened she thrust a cage into his hands. "We felt so bad about Buckbeak's death; we just had to get you something!" Within the cage crowed a tiny, hot pink hippogriff.
"Oh, thank ye Esme…I di'n't even know they came in this color…I s'pose I'll name 'er Rosie."
"Wait a moment, Esme," Sirius interjected, "How did you get a hippogriff this fast?"
"Look, Sirius, I'm not going to discuss how I do things, especially if they involve removing my clothes, in front of two men I have to work with."
"Ah, Sirius, I see ye haven't learned not ter ask questions 'round Esme."
"I have now, Hagrid," Sirius laughed a bit, sounding like a dog.
And in that spirit, I would prefer you not ask about the pink collar around my neck.
A/N: And they all lived happily ever after, at least for a few weeks. If I get reviews, I'll post the first chapter of the second story either today or tomorrow.