DISCLAIMER: Nope, not JK Rowling. I am just an obsessed fangirl with a sad unhealthy obsession with Harry and Draco.

THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS - Number 11: If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.


Harry hunched lower over Ron's arm, completely intent upon his drawing.

Nobody had, as yet, noticed his current level of distraction; allowing Harry to draw without fear of too many mishaps. Of course, the fact that his fellow Gryffindors were lazing about in exhausted stupor while Binns droned on and on in his customarily droll way helped. Several of them had followed in Ron's footsteps and passed out rather than even pretend to pay attention. The Slytherins were doing whatever it was Slytherins did while not paying attention in class, with Hermione being the only student in the classroom both alert and furiously scribbling notes. Harry, being only pleasantly lethargic, had decided to forgo his usual nap in favor of revenge. Against Ron. For thinking it would be frightfully clever and humorous to vanish Harry's pants while walking in the hall last week.

Nearly finished, Harry groaned when Hermione gave a loud gasp, capturing the attention of the students not already asleep. "Harry James Potter!"

Harry sighed. It figured that she wouldn't wait to notice anything besides the ghostly figure of his teacher until after he had completed his revenge. Without looking up, Harry lifted his wand from Ron's arm and pointed it at his bushy haired friend. "Silencio." Several people giggled, but Harry ignored them as well. Finally, pleased with the results, he straightened up to critically admire his handy work. There, wiggling around on Ron's left forearm, was the Dark Mark. Harry looked into Hermione's furious and slightly horrified face and grinned before canceling the spell. "Come on, Mione," he coaxed. "It's just a bit of fun between friends."

"Harry that's the Dark Mark!"

Several students gasped again; more than a few Slytherins looked up in interest. Harry nodded patiently. "Well, not an exact replica." He studied his drawing critically. "But close enough to the real thing that Ron won't notice." He shrugged, ready to move onto the next stage of his plan. "Oi, Gryffindors! When I wake Ron up, nobody look at him or acknowledge him in any way."

"Why not?" Seamus Finnegan didn't look like he really cared about opposing Harry, but seemed moderately curious about the answer.

Harry smiled wickedly. "Let's just say that I am an investor in Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. It would be quite easy to tell my business partners that I had a few guinea pigs to test out inventions on." The class shuddered collectively.

"What about, you know, them?" Neville Longbottom nervously jerked his thumb towards the now wide awake and alert Slytherins.

"Well, for one," Harry grinned, "they're Slytherins. They could tell Ron the sky was blue and he would argue with them. And secondly," his grin turned into a smirk. "Do you think any of them will pass up on an opportunity to embarrass Ron?"

"Harry," Hermione started sternly.

"It's just a bit of fun, yeah?" Without waiting for a response, Harry got up and crossed the room.

Gray eyes narrowed as Harry walked right up to his desk, knelt on the floor before him, and held his writs out towards the blond. "What are you on about, Potter?"

"I need you to bind my wrists, Malfoy."

"Bind your wrists?"

"Yep. Oh, err… and play along if you wouldn't mind."

Cautiously withdrawing his wand, Draco held it out before Harry; watching the green eyed boy warily. Harry smiled patiently, making no more to draw his own wand. Draco shook his head, more than a little confused, but obligingly tapped Harry's wrists with his wand and murmured, "Incarcerous." Harry tested the ropes to make sure they remained secure, and then nodded his head at Hermione. Biting her lip, twirling one strand of hair nervously around her finger, Hermione kicked Ron sharply in the shin before hastily picking up her quill and resuming writing down the lecture. True to form, Binns hadn't been aware of his class enough to realize students were paying even less attention than usual.

Ron came awake with a snort, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he lazily stretched his arms over his head. He looked around blearily, noticing the empty desk next to him. "Psst! Hermione," he stage whispered. "Where'd Harry get off to?" Hermione didn't look away from her parchment, continuing to methodically write down notes as Binns droned on and on. "Hermione?" Frustrated at the lack of response, Ron looked at the table in front of him. "Oi, Seamus! You seen Harry?" The Irish boy's shoulders shook in silent laughter as he refused to turn around or answer. Truly bewildered, Ron twisted in his seat to address the table behind him. "Hey Nev, you seen…" he trailed off as he caught sight of Harry kneeling by Draco Malfoy's feet.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing!"

Harry looked up, glaring at the red head. "Like you don't know," he snarled angrily. Draco's hand came down and began petting his head. Harry jumped, startled, but quickly relaxed and resumed looking at the floor.

Ron looked around for someone to tell him what was wrong or what, precisely, was going on, but no one was looking at him except for the Slytherins. Who seemed vastly entertained? Bewildered, he looked back at Harry. Who was still kneeling on the floor and being petted by Malfoy. "Harry what the hell?"

Teary green eyes looked up and locked onto confused blue. "Why'd you do it, Ron?" He asked sadly. "Did you hate me that much?"

"Blimey mate, I don't hate you at all! What do you think I did?"

"I don't think Ron." Harry heaved a deep, melodramatic sigh. "I know." He sniffed. "I know," he repeated.

"Know what?" Ron almost shouted.

Harry heaved his deep melodramatic sigh again. Blaise Zabini snickered. "I know that you sold me out to Voldemort." The entire class froze collectively. Enjoying his moment, Harry tossed his head and managed to produce a tear. "You sold me out Ron, and as punishment… Voldemort gave me to Malfoy as his sex slave."

Several Slytherins lowered their heads, shoulders shaking with barely sustained mirth. Neville fell out of his chair, Hermione made a strangled sounding noise in the back of her throat, and Malfoy simply arched an eyebrow and continued petting Harry. Ron looked positively aghast. "Harry… what?... I wouldn't… no, never… Ferret… but… how… who… no no no… Harry… Why would you… I didn't…"

Draco snickered, taking advantage of the situation and Harry's position to force Harry's head onto his thigh. Harry sighed, rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric of Draco's pants. "It's all right, Ron," Harry said softy. "It's really not such a bad deal. I've nearly forgiven you. It's just… well; I wish you hadn't let him mark you."

Ron stood up, earnestly thrusting up the left sleeve of his robe and holding his arm out. "See, mate. I didn't… bloody buggering fuck!" He stared down at the mark on his arm, and then stared around the classroom. The Gryffindors were refusing to meet his eyes, the Slytherins were smiling broadly, and Harry was nuzzling his face against Draco's leg while a blush stole over the pale face of his blond haired nemesis. "What's going on?" he asked weakly.

It proved too much temptation for Dean Thomas to resist. Standing up, he placed his hand on Ron's shoulder and solemnly informed him; "you are now entering the Twilight Zone." Seamus snickered, still bent over his parchment, and even Hermione released what sounded like a giggle. Ron just stood there, looking dazed and horrified and in shock. Patting him consolingly, Dean offered, "you should just stupefy yourself and pray this will all be over when you wake up."

Ron nodded, moving on autopilot to his seat. He pointed his wand at his head, muttered "Stupefy" and slumped over unconscious onto his desk.

Hermione gazed worriedly at his prone form. "Don't you think you took that just a bit far, Harry?" She looked over at the other member of her trio, noticing that at some point he had crawled into Draco's lap, lifted his bound hands over Draco's head, and was now sucking enthusiastically on the blonds' neck. "Harry! He's unconscious! You can stop now."

Harry lifted his head, green eyes glassy and dazed looking. "Hmm? Oh, Ron, right. No, I don't think that went too far. He deserved it. Quick, clean off his arm so the Dark Mark is gone before he wakes up." Hermione quickly did as bid; everyone giggling furtively about the successful pranking done right underneath their teacher's… form.

"So, Potter?" Blaise drawled idly. "Planning on getting off Draco any time soon?"

Both boys blushed. Harry quickly, if not reluctantly, climbed off Draco and walked slightly stiffly back to his desk. Hermione pointed her wand at Ron, whispered "Enervate," and quickly resumed writing notes.

Ron jerked awake. For a moment he sat there, confused and horrified, before slowly turning his head. Harry smiled at him before resuming his perusal of the ceiling. Ron looked at Seamus and Dean; who were both lounging in their seats looking bored. He looked at Neville; who, aside from being oddly flushed and guilty looking, smiled at the red head tentatively. Ron relaxed. And then shot to his feet, hurriedly ripping at his robe until he uncovered his bare forearm.

"Alright there, Ron?"

He nodded dazedly, sinking bonelessly back into his seat. "I though, I mean, I must have been dreaming. Thought I had the Dark Mark and you were Malfoy's sex slave."

Harry arched his eyebrows. "Malfoy's sex slave?" Ron nodded. Harry pretended to consider this. "Lucius or Draco?" he enquired innocently.

Ron stared at his friend. "Draco."

Green eyes turned and gazed at the lightly blushing blond diligently taking notes across the room. He lingered on the reddish mark marring the smooth lines of his neck. "Well," he said thoughtfully. "That doesn't seem like such a bad deal." He smiled at his gob-smacked friend. "I might eventually forgive you for that."

Ron whimpered. Hermione elbowed him sharply in the ribs and hissed under her breath. "Pay attention!"

Nodding obediently, Ron picked up his quill and scribbled a few letters that vaguely formed words. Suddenly an odd expression flitted across his face and he turned to Harry. "Hey mate?" Harry looked away from Draco and tilted his head curiously. "Why are your hands tied up?"