Disclaimer: Yeah, RIGHT, I own Naruto. Also, the "I Love You" song from Barney isn't mine either. Actually, the idea of Sasuke singing it is from Temari-Reaper16/MrsRizaMustang from DA, and her list of "100 Things You'll Never See Sasuke Do".
Author's Note:Okay, okay, I know, I should update other fics instead of constantly thinking of new ones. But I'm currently suffering some minor Writer's Block, and this drabble was the result.
Actually, I got this whole idea when I was listening to KC and JoJo's "All My Life", and I thought, God, how romantic it would be if my future boyfriend sang me that. On the other hand, when I think about it, I've only liked one guy ever who was confirmed to be able to sing without sounding like crow, and he turned out to be a major jerk. The others I'm not quite sure, although my latest crush has the most boyish voice ever, and his laugh is so funny, so I don't even dare to think about how he SINGS.
Then I was in search of good Sasuke fanart, preferably some cute chibi Sasuke fanart, on DA, and I found "100 Things You'll Never See Sasuke Do", and when I read the Barney's song part, I started laughing out loud, because I got this sudden vision that my ex-crush would sing it to me (jokingly), which wouldn't have surprised me if he actually would have, except that it's really awkward between the two of us as of now. Then I kind of imagined Sasuke singing it to Sakura like it was written, and now this is the result...
Uchiha Sasuke had never, ever, set foot in Sakura's house.
As a matter of fact, until after the Chuunin exams, he promptly refused to even come near it, unless he had to (for example, if Naruto dragged the two of them out for ramen, and insisted on picking Sakura up instead of letting the girl walk alone to Ichiraku, which was just around the corner) – the reason being because she lived in the middle of Konoha.
The house's location, as it was situated in the center of Konoha, plenty of people lived there, and being there not only drew attention to him – as it always did – it also attracted a herd of fangirls in the blink of an eye. Therefore, he did his best to avoid that area. No matter how hard she begged him to come over for dinner at her parents, he insisted on eating out if he absolutely had to meet them.
So, simply put, Sakura was least to say astounded when she one morning was awakened not by the usual twitter of birds outside her window, the usual noise coming from the busy streets downstairs and the lovely smell of breakfast drifting from the kitchen, but by what sounded like a chaotic riot caused by screaming girls.
Having long ago passed the phase where she'd scream in a high-pitched, childishly girly voice, but having been in that phase nonetheless, Sakura knew there could only be two reasons where a girl would scream like that:
1. During war, or any other time where they'd possibly be hurt or even killed
2. When a ridiculously hot guy, say Uchiha Sasuke (or Uchiha Itachi, although Sakura would never tell this to Sasuke), was discovered by said screaming girls
Quickly reaching for the kunai underneath her pillow, Sakura prepared for the first, and most likely, scenario. However, her surprise increased by tenfold when she heard the familiar, delightful shrieks of "Sasuke-sama" (to which she had to suppress a snicker, because at least during her days as a fangirl, they were more modest).
And there could only be one reason Sasuke was outside her house, in the center of Konoha, and that was that Naruto had decided that the three of them should go to Ichiraku in the morning, which, frankly, did not surprise her. What surprised her was the fact that he had successfully dragged Sasuke to her house.
She waited for the familiar scream of "SAKURA-CHAAAAAN!", but nothing ever came. Instead, all girls fell in silence as a dark voice that seemed to emit from a speaker – as someone cleared their throat somewhat awkwardly into a microphone – announced, with reluctance evident in his voice, "Sakura, uh, chan, this is for you."
Deadly silence fell upon the crowd. Even the usual noise coming from the market situated a couple of meters away became quiet, and then a raspy voice started to sing –
"I love you – you love me – "
The apple-green eyes belonging to Haruno Sakura widened considerably. Then, eyes narrowing once more in suspicion, she formed a seal with one hand. "Kai," she mumbled.
"With a great big hug –"
In disbelief, she abruptly opened up the glass door of her balcony, and stepped out, just to find a massive audience having assembled below; some were staring at Sasuke, who, scarlet-faced, stared irritably at the ground, but most of them were staring at her.
"- and a kiss from me to you –"
Then, a single salty droplet escaping her eye, the roseate-haired kunoichi clutched her aching gut as she exploded in laughter.
Uchiha Sasuke mentally cursed his misfortune.
" – won't you say you loooove – meeee – toooo…," he finished through gritted teeth.
First of all, he had been rudely awakened by the number one prankster of Konoha, and the most likely candidate as the next Hokage, namely his best friend, Uzumaki Naruto, who had grinned widely from ear to ear, telling him that he had an excellent idea concerning what they had discussed the previous week –
"Sakura-chan, I love you with the blazing passion of one thousand Katon jutsus released at once," he continued mechanically, as an audible, mutual gasp or an 'Aaawwwww' could be heard from the public, "With the undying love compared to that Romeo held for Juliet –"
- second of all… well, Naruto had more or less publically humiliated him as well as created a fresh batch of unadulterated Konoha gossip.
And thirdly, he couldn't even kill the dobe, because he had voluntarily assigned himself to this be-damned torture.
" – I would like to share my vision of you, my dearest cherry blossom," he emphasized, voice seething; he could hear Naruto's cackling laughter in the background as his mouth automatically formed the words Naruto had instructed him to say. "You possess the beauty of a goddess – the loveliest flower would bow its head out of respect next to you, the most cloudless sky would start to rain, crying because of its now rivaled beauty; your eyes have the light of the sunshine reflecting on the surface of the sea during twilight, worth more than the gemstone that share the vivid color as them.
You are everything I've ever sought for, the sole purpose I've lived until now; the day I saw you, I thought I saw an angel descended from the heavens above. My heart continued to thrive in the hopes of just seeing somebody like you, not knowing that you'd mercilessly chain my heart to yours the moment your eyes met mine.
I love you, Haruno Sakura. Will you marry me?"
Damn that dobe. Why had he agreed to this anyway?
1 week prior to Sasuke making a fool out of himself
"Saaauceeegaaaay!" Naruto's voice slurred as the blonde slung an arm around his best friend's shoulders, the force of the grip bone-crushing; however, it slackened as he drunkenly swayed slightly to the other side, and only managed to stay standing as Sasuke irritably pulled him back up.
"Why don't you PARTAAAYYY?" he inquired, more loudly than necessary – although the noise level of the party, Sasuke mentally added, was pretty high. "I know you're an anti-social emo, but c'mon, man, do it for MOI!"
"How you even became an ANBU is beyond me," the onyx-eyed prodigy instead retorted as he pushed Naruto back unto one of the emptied sofas of the nightclub, where the latter stretched out in obvious comfort. "And I see no reason in partying whatsoever."
"Okay, fine, but then at least be a man and get drunk!"
"How does getting drunk prove me to be male or not?"
"You're such a coward," Naruto sulked as he crossed his arms, "I bet that's why you won't go official with Sakura-chan."
"What does that have to do anything?" Sasuke answered in annoyance.
"Yes, because you're proud of the rumor of being gay! Sauceegay, I know you secretly buy Playgirl every month."
"You're mental," he declared calmly as he tried to think of a painful method to kill the blonde without having to pay for too much bloodstains on the carpet of the nightclub.
"Okay, prove me wrong and drink with me, then! I bet you're just afraid of getting drunk, 'cause you know you can't drink alcohol without going totally cuckoo."
"Speak for yourself, dobe," he snarled. This conversation was giving him early migraines, he concluded. The loud, low-class techno music blaring out of the speakers that made his ears bleed didn't make things better, either.
"Sasuke-bastard's going blind, can't you see I'm not drunk?" he hiccoughed as he stood up swiftly, staggering in the wrong direction towards the bar. "See?"
Sasuke opened his mouth to give him a well-placed insult, however, Naruto beat him to it. "You're such a coward. I bet that's why you didn't pass ANBU captain tryouts."
Ouch. That was way below the belt.
"Don't go there, dobe," he growled warningly, scanning the room for a trace of the pink-haired teammate, eager to leave the place before his head exploded.
"I bet that you can't even drink 'cause you're afraid of getting drunk. And 'cause you're afraid of going official with Sakura-chan. Coward," he threw in for good measure.
"You're on," the Uchiha snapped, abandoning his previous thoughts on departure.
And now, after having graciously lost to said dobe (it was true, handling alcohol had always been one of Sasuke's few weak points), he had to fulfill his part of the deal due to the high pride of Uchihas. Uchihas didn't make promises they didn't intend to keep.
Screw Uchihas, inner Sasuke was screaming in an uncharacteristic high-pitched voice, just kill Naruto, goddammit!
However, outer Sasuke's attention was elsewhere. He had finally lifted his gaze to look up at the undoubtedly amused kunoichi, who was leaning on the doorframe to her balcony, gazing at the audience, who was holding their breath to hear her reply.
Surveying the crimson-faced, fuming former traitor of Konoha, she grinned, seemingly not surprised at this at all. "Yes, I do."
The crowd exhaled in awe, staring at the couple. Quickly jumping up unto her balcony, she beckoned him to enter her bedroom, and he shut the glass door with a little more force than needed.
"Oi, Naruto," a voice awakened the blonde, who had been watching the scene unfold with a camera in his hands and a large smirk on his face, making him jump slightly; whirling around, he faced the lazy genius Nara Shikamaru, who arched an eyebrow with a bored face expression.
"Yo," he greeted cheerfully, turning off the camera as he put it in the pockets of his orange jumpsuit. "What's up?"
"Nothing much. I came here to tell you that there's an ANBU meeting later – although that'll most probably be cancelled if what Ino just told me is true," said Shikamaru.. "Speaking of which, where's Sasuke?"
"He's probably in Sakura's room in the hot making of Uchiha babies," the blonde snickered. Shikamaru arched an eyebrow.
"You don't think they're in there planning how to kill you?"
A determined "No" had been on the way to escape Naruto's lips when he suddenly stopped himself. He recalled all the times Sakura had punched him… how she could crack his skull open with her pinky if she just wanted to… how she had almost killed him once when he had questioned her mood swings (or rather, whether or not she was pregnant) during her period…
And then there was Sasuke, who had almost killed him at the Valley of the End, during their reunion, and who had killed his own brother. And weren't he and Sasuke almost as brothers? But then again, Itachi had done something unforgivable…
But so had he, Naruto realized with horror churning in his stomach.
Run, you idiot, before they catch you, Kyuubi's voice rumbled in the back of his mind as mental alarm bells started to ring.
"Oh, shit," he exclaimed in panic as he followed his inner demon's advice.
"As much as I'm honored to have the Uchiha Sasuke singing Barney's song outside my home, I've to say, Sasuke-kun, you sing horribly off-tune," the kunoichi grinned, a glimmer of impish mischief in her eyes.
"Shut up, I wouldn't have, if it wasn't for that blockhead," he snarled, embarrassment evident in his tone; his ivory cheeks matched the color of the blazing passion he had just proclaimed he loved her with.
"You know, maybe I should've gotten engaged to Naruto instead – at least he knows how to do a proposal right," she instead laughed, "That was way better than bluntly asking me to marry you after sparring and scorning me with nobody there to witness it except Naruto in the middle of the training grounds."
"Tch," he snorted indifferently, "At least it was not quite as tasteless or humiliating."
"Okay, I've to admit, it was a bit cheesy. 'Angel descended from heaven above'? 'Blazing passions of one thousand Katons'? Seriously, Naruto needs to stop watching chick flicks. I warned him, it is addictive. He's lucky that Hinata-chan likes to watch them too."
"Hn. For being the heiress of a prestigious clan, she sure has little taste as to fall for someone like the dobe."
Not even bothering to comment the none-too-serious insult – as she knew he didn't actually mean it – a smile instead adorned her lips as she diverted her gaze from Sasuke. "But at least it's official now. Seriously, those fangirls of yours are annoying –" He smirked in response to the pun, " – they kept pestering me about whether or not I was your girlfriend. And I know Tsunade-shishou told us to keep it secret from safety reasons, but still, I hate lying."
He didn't answer as she continued rambling; "I knew you should've bought me a ring with a bigger stone. As much as I love the one you gave me –" (Even though I'm never allowed to wear it, she added mentally) "- people are kind of expecting you to give me some kind of huge diamond ring or something after the confession you just made. In the shape of a heart. And pink. And –"
"Is it how people are expecting it to look like, or how you expect it to look like?" he interjected dryly, mild amusement visible in his obsidian eyes.
"Well, I'll leave the interpretation up to you. But it's a shame I'm a medic – a large diamond would get in the way for surgery and other kinds of treatment where you've to be extra careful."
"So you rest assured that if you just ask for it, I will automatically purchase an overpriced, useless gemstone just for the sake of what people might or might not think?" he questioned, eyebrows raised in an inquiring manner.
"Well, you can't deny your goddess what she wants if you really love her with the undying love compared to that Romeo held for Juliet, can you?" Sakura smugly replied, to which he only uttered a disgruntled noise at the reminder of his "proposal".
"Enough," he only muttered.
She stuck out her tongue childishly, then withdrew it as she seemed to be in deep thought. Then, ultimately deciding to share her knowledge on whatever wisdom she had been contemplating on uttering, she said, "Hmm, the fangirls will probably begin to attempt slaughtering me in a couple of hours, at latest. So if we want to get our revenge, we better start plotting, and humiliate Naruto now before he manages to get away."
His orbs sparkled in what Sakura could've sworn was mischief at the latter part of her statement, and he announced with an evil smirk, his eyes glowing red as three black tomoes started to swirl sinisterly around the iris; "I've an excellent idea."
She leaned closer, her hot breath ghosting over his mouth as the proximity between them increased, murmuring, "I knew there was a reason I got engaged to you."
He only smirked as he closed the distance between them, his lips meeting hers before the Third World War, also known as 101 Ways to Torture Uzumaki Naruto, officially began.