[POSSIBLE: Bad grammar, typographical errors, and choppiness]

Title: "What an Uchiha wants, an Uchiha gets" (Revamped ver.)
Dedicated to: AnemMesna

Genre(s): Humour, Romance, One-Shot
Warning: I'm a total SQUARE! Meaning my sense of humour might not even be funny.

Toppers: Madara/Obito/Tobi, Itachi, Sasuke
Bottom: Naruto

One-sided: Sainaru
Penalty: Uchihacest (The toppers just rut~)

Disclaimer: Hey Naruto doesn't belong to me, to make it clear again I don't own Naruto! Kishimoto Masashi does! I don't even own this computer or even this life I'm living! Someone give me a purpose in life or I'll commit suicide! Just kidding, I have Yaoi Lemons and other things to do...

AN (Author's Notes): Please remember to leave a review. There are more stuff to revamp, I decided to just do this one first due to me refusing to sleep at night before the starting of classes again. Also unlike the original-oh goodness the first version-this one has more more uh... work on it? Well~ Enjoy!

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I'm currently eighteen and a college student.
And... uh this hard to believe, even for me, but I have THREE boyfriends! BELIVE IT!
To just let you know I wasn't into... well I'm not gay. Seriously I'm straight!*
How to do you describe a guy somebody like me really? Ack... nevermind.

Let me explain.

Ahem, well my first "lover" if I have to say was my childhood rival and number one
enemy, Sasuke Uchiha. I didn't know the jerk had a "thing" for me until his older brother
Itachi Uchiha was putting the moves on me-which he enjoyed not me-at the same time
had confessed his undying love for me right after his brother; thus making him my
second lover.

He isn't the last one, there is another.

Lastly we have the strangest man I've ever met, Madara Uchiha; or so he claimed to be-
the man despite being other significant, uh... other he still shies away through his other personas.
Sometimes he's Obito Uchiha; the fun and excitable best friend I ever had, and most of the
time he changes back to Madara the cool and stoic character just as similar to Itachi. Though
I prefer Tobi, who currently the most active personality. He's so sweet and (funny too) nice yet he's a
dangerous nutter... he can be scary too but I do love him.

Noticed anything? Yes, all my lovers are the Uchiha (men)! Why hadn't I chosen one lover?
I JUST CAN'T ALRIGHT! It's complicated... I love all three of them, and oddly enough those guys
didn't even seem to want or persuade me in choosing amongst them, believe it. There was also one
phrase they told me, which irked me to no end.

"What an Uchiha wants, an Uchiha gets."

So in the end up I'm in a polygamous relationship with the three bastards...
I feel like some sort of juicy piece of meat to them.


GrrGrrGrr. His face is shadowed by darkness, his fists clenched so tight that it hurt yet he felt so light headed. GrrGrrGrr. The man that stood at the front babbled on and on with his lecturing about the upcoming exams - practically the suffering body didn't give a flinging flying fuck he had one thing on mind. Noodles. Soup. Fish cakes. Pork. RAMEN! He cried mentally so badly for the class to end so that he could finally go home and eat. The poor fellow hadn't had a single bite to eat since morning. Also the snickering of his seat mate was so irritating; he gave the arse the stink eye while muttering a death threat. GrrGrrGrr. Never mind he just didn't have the energy at the moment. "Poor, poor dickless Naru." Oh, how the now named character wanted to strangle him so, "So gonna kill yeh one of these days Sai..."

"Don't forget to submit your Philo. Man portfolios by Monday morning!"

"Yes~ teacher!"

"Alright everyone, class dismissed."

'Did he just say he could leave?!' Naruto questioned the obvious with big, bright eyes and his lips breaking into a silly grin, "HELL YEAH!" The blonde cheered out loudly as he pumped his fists into the air before being chided by his teacher, "Naruto! Don't forget about your research papers!" Naruto then flinched and scratching the back of his head embarrassed before a soft "Yes", and running out the class without Sai.



"Ramen, ramen, I can't wait!" Naruto hummed a happy tune as he half pranced and half skidded along the cement path. His home wasn't far from the university so it took about a short walk of half an hour. Along the way home Sai had passed him by - since he lives further up the street—in a hurry with a strange look marring his usually mischievous grin. Though him slipping a demeaning comment made him turn away from him yet still Naruto is a bit worried for his friend. No matter. For now, time to focus on his stomach! GrrGrrGrr. The blonde wanted to cry so much. Right now anything would be good! Maybe this is what Choji always feis what lt the boy wondered as he finally took his first step within the Uchiha territory.

Yes, the "Uchiha" territory. Is his home, refuge and need he say; love nest. Darn Tobi! He would have face palmed himself however a chill in the air brought shivers down his spine. Looking left and right he searched for any familiar tall, handsome, and dark haired deviants*. Gladly, there was no signs of them anywhere. Naruto still proceeded with caution; he could never too sure with those guys around. They treated nearly everything that involves him as a game. Stealthy he snuck into the household by tip-toeing and keepings his ear out for their... wait. "What's that smell?" GrrGrrGrr. 'Darn you stomach!' This is so annoying his stomach seriously is going against him. "Hey Chi-kun you heard something?" Oh boy, today Tobi is in the house and soon followed he heard an amused chuckle. "Why yes I do, Naruto you can come out from there. We're not going to bite." Peering into the kitchen he saw the two men; Tobi (age 35?!) was seated close to the marble counter; with Itachi (age 25) leaning over it while holding a bowl of steaming ramen.


Now this is a little silly, why should he be so sneaky around them? They are his boyfriends... Naruto bit his lips together and slowly - almost timidly - showed himself in the kitchen's doorway his eyes darting away from their warm gazes. "I—I'm home..." Silence. Complete fucking silence. 'They could at least greet me back!' The blonde pouted as he furrowed his brow slightly feeling angry, he lifted his to look to them with a thought to shout at them, but it seems le wild flying Tobi beat him to the point.

"What the f-?!"


It happened so fast. Tobi had pounced onto Naruto and gave him the most bone crushing hug in existence. What is that white vapor he sees? Is that his soul seeping out from his mouth? The boy had attempted to free himself from the man's clutches but in the end he failed miserably. Although for some reason he doesn't feel like he's being crushed anymore. "CHI-KUN~" Tobi cried out, Naruto felt like something soft and warm was touching his lips when his eyes fluttered open he realized was being kissed - chastely - by no other than Itachi. "Welcome back, Naruto." The blonde flushed a deep red his lips parted feeling like they were trembling to say something back to him. The older man let the boy down from his arms and gave him one more kissed on the head before ruffling his hair with affection. "Go ahead and eat, Obito and I have business to take of," Naruto nodded and left the two to head over to kitchen counter. "Wha~? It's TOBI!," nudge "Obito is sleeping," push "Chi-kun~" SHOVE "Wait! H-HEY!" They both disappeared elsewhere into the Uchiha household.

"At least I can eat in peace."
When he had snapped the disposable chopsticks apart, he felt another chill in the air.
"I sense danger... (slurps noodles)"


"I don't know what you mean..." Itachi loomed over the now stoic male, "Face the fact you're under penalty, Obito." The man scoffed, "Oh please~ our lil' boy loved it. You know it." his lips quirked into a playful smile with teeth. The younger Uchiha merely growled at him before he captured those lips with his own and forcibly snogged the surprised man till submission (maybe). Their bodies intertwined grinding against each other as Itachi pinned Obito's arms against the wall, their soft groans and moans echoing throughout the hallway easily to attract attention. "Nngh... Itachi... ah... if you keep this up," between breaths and moments when their mouths separated and were released he tried to reason with younger Uchiha yet to no avail. "What of the boy?" Obito mentioned which was suprisingly coherent after their longest kiss (tongue raping) almost causing him to faint from the lack of oxygen. The man huffed and spat with a sneer, "We'll just have him join—" He grinds their clothed lower regions together making the older male squirm in delightful discomfort, "—in the fun, won't we?"*


"Phew—" Certainly pleased with the meal alone he hummed happily with a wide grin playing on his face, he had already cleaned after himself: washed the dishes, wiped the counter and grabbing a juice packet from the fridge to quench the burning sensation on his lips and throat. "Itachi should cook more of his spicy noodles, that was just~" He squealed—he knows he's a dork over food (only ramen related) and began sucking pack with the plastic straw which he had already stabbed inside. As he exited to the hallway; he heard something coming from upstairs. 'What was that?' being curious he headed up the oak staircase with a soft creak every step, better mention this to Sasuke later, and by the time he got up there he listened for the source.

It came from Madara's bedroom.

Naruto was no idiot; he knew exactly what those sounds he was listening to were, but he didn't suspect that they'd be that desperate. Peeking through the bedrom key hole, 'Go figure... nothing' he couldn't see anything from it so he tried to at least open the door as quietly as possibly and peer inside with a single eye. Gulp. If anyone could see how priceless his face was right now: you'd see not only he's incredibly red he was also gaping like a fish as he watched his boyfriends rutting. 'What the HELL are they doing?!' he screeched mentally almost voicing it out too, luckily he had some restraint, but it wasn't not like he minded the two doing—that. 'Totally unfair!' Naruto was positively seething now, this time he minds now when he saw them kissing so deeply without a care in the world... somehow it hurt seeing that much passion in a single aggressive kiss when he wasn't present (meaning doing it with them). 'They never kissed me like that...' Now or never—Naruto rose from his place back onto his two feet and sucked his teeth audible enough for his lovers to see him there by the doorway looking, how you'd put it? Pouty?

"Mind that break this up?" Itachi huffed, trying to bring the air back into his lung vice versa with the older Uchiha beneath him, although that "huff" sounded so irritable Naruto took it the wrong way. "Tch... fine bastards, have your fun!" The blonde turned away from them, "Wha-?" Itachi's brow furrowed together in confusion, "Nartuo!" The Uchiha quickly detached his body from the other man and chased after the boy stumbling off the bed comically yet still in pursuit after the retreating person. "What the... hah... heck?" Obitio groaned soon following in suit but at a slower pace.

'Really! He blew air at me! HE FUCKING HUFFED!" Alright now his thoughts were partway voiced out unconsciously and it didn't stop there he continued to cuss, and damn the Uchiha men. "Naruto!" Looking over his shoulder he saw the long haired raven chasing him, "Geh!" Naruto rushed to his own room and hurried to close the door before he was caught by the bastard. Of course he could do it in time. "Wait, Naruto listen to me I can—" He was abruptly interrupted by his wedged foot feel the intense pressure and pain from the door being forced to close, "Shit—I can explain!" The eighteen year old glared at him with half-lidded dark eyes, "What? That you'd go fuck Tobi whenever I'm never in the mood!" Itachi protested with a number of 'No' "We love you Naruto, it's just that... er..." Naruto didn't know what to do; sneer at him or give him a sucker punch, "It was a penalty game!" The boy merely scoffed off in disbelief with thoughts going along "Oh really~ I may not be good at school but doesn't mean I'm actually STUPID!" Once again he voiced his thoughts half-way through. And once again he was about to slam the door at Itachi's foot when Tobi popped behind the desperate Uchiha.

"NARU~" The elder Uchiha cooed cutely his dark red eyes twinkling, "It's true! Chi-kun was giving Tobi his just desserts—" Then turned away but still looking to Naruto at the corner of his eye while tapping his abused lips and mouthing out his last words, "—Tobi has been a bad, bad boy~" Somehow that convinced him from slamming the door on Itachi which the man began to feel gratitude for his relative for being cuckoo... ah, he means special. Naruto let out a heavy sigh; his face still rosy and hot when he recalled their scene, "Naruto, don't be mad at me..." Itachi pleaded with a pitiful face that didn't suit them at all.

"I'm not... well... not exactly mad."

"You are, your face is so red from all the blood rushing to your head."

"I'm NOT mad Itachi!"

"Then why are you being so mean to Chi-kun?"

"Tobi—It's... argh!"


"I—I... I was jealous of you both, okay!"

"Eh?" (Obito & Itachi)
"Soooo cute~!" (Tobi)

"I hated that you guys were kissing so passionately."

"Wha—?! Passionately!?" (Tobi)

"You both never kissed me that way."

What are they going to do now? Naruto looked like he was going to cry. He was trembling and hiding away his face from them, as much proof to prove he was close to shed them. "It's just so unfair..." Naruto swiped his itchy nose free from imaginary snot or tears from his face, however to them, it was so adorable. Both understanding fully well the reasons only now behind Sasuke's bullying the boy to tears. He looked so vulnerable and frail. Still the moment called for something, Itachi knelt down so he could hug Naruto while burying his face onto the boy's chest, "I'm so sorry Naruto..." Naruto in-turn buried his face into the man's long raven hair giving him soft kisses upon his head while shivering in his hold. "You're shaking Naruto," the boy shook his head, "Am not!" Obitio couldn't help chuckling at how adorable they were together, "Heh, Mind I join your drama, boys?"

"No" STAB. Right in the heart, "Naru-chan..." Tobi again came out feeling terrible and staring at Naruto who had coldly spat that word at him. Itachi was surprised by it too; Tobi fell down in defeat yet still crawled towards them with tearful eyes while muttering the blond's name. Once he was looking eye to eye to the teen he showed how deeply wounded by his word. Another surprise in stored for him; the moment he looked to those deep blue, blue eyes he instantly was kissed. "Mmph!" His blood red eyes widened momentarily but slowly softened when he felt something nudging his lower lip, allowing that wet pink muscle inside, Itachi couldn't help but grumble as he watched the two kiss.

Somehow through this intimate interaction brought out that cold stoic Madara from the elder Uchiha soon he deepened it, their tongues entangling and exploring as they tasted one another almost taking their breath away. If it wasn't for the younger Uchiha's jealously at being left out in the act, Naruto could have fainted. "Hah-Ita... ow," he groaned out when he felt teeth on his neck and his lips, mouth sucking at his flesh. "Pay attention boy," Madara ordered harshly grasping his chin in his hand bringing him back into a kiss. Naruto moaned so deliciously. As they attacked him, Itachi began to strip from him from his college uniform though dashing on the boy they found him better in nothing but a necktie and black dress socks.

"N-no fair!" Naruto cried out as he embraced his naked form from them, "You both are still dressed!" Indeed they were; however it was easily solved as much they'd enjoy giving their cute little Naruto a strip tease. Their straining needs demanded to have him. Right now. They've waited too long for their time to devour their lover. Madara grabbed the boy's loose gray tie and pulled at it like a dog leash as he ordered, "Up." And so he did, "On the bed." This command was directed to Itachi as well; the man then released the necktie's tongue. Following the orders the two were on the bed Itachi was lying on his side and ministering kisses to the boy while divesting himself from his own clothing while grinding their hips together. Madara remained where he stood just watching over them till he gives another order.

Warm finger tips traced his skin encircling his sensitive pink nubs, teasing them to hardness and was eagerly lapped by the lust-filled man. Naruto moaned as he rocked their hips together for more friction by the time Itachi removed his pants he noticed that the Uchiha wasn't wearing any briefs. Kinky. "Fu—mmph!" He was silenced by a kiss, "No cussing." Madara commanded as he was already pulling away his shirt off and tossing it aside. The bed creaked as he slowly made his way opposite to Itachi in so sandwiching the boy in-between them. Madara despite being seemingly cold he was rather affectionate when they made love a good example is him leaving warm butterfly kisses on Naruto's sun kissed skin while nibbling the curve of his neck—the blond sighed unsure to be pleased or angry. Angry, because they were both just teasing him. He shot a glare at Itachi who'd already was stroking his inner thighs and massaging his aching heat. "I want more!" Naruto whined as he fidgeted from Madara's hold around his chest.

Obito breathed a soft chuckle against the nape of his neck sending him shivers down his spine, only the jerk would do such a thing while playing with his nipples and lewdly whispering to her ears about—things. "Bas... tards" Could anyone blame his impatience? "Hmm... Naruto," Turning his head to where Obito's voice was he was caught in another breath taking kiss, however, it was far more aggressive and when his tongue darted into his mouth so unexpectedly he was defeated instantly. Naruto breath hitched (almost biting his tongue) suddenly when he felt something wet and warm going along his throbbing length getting lower, and lower till it pressed against his unprepared entrance. Teasing and licking his pink pucker, prodding to pass through the ring of muscle, 'God—he's using his tongue!'. He gritted his teeth preventing anymore mewling to spite at his lovers. Itachi won't have that he enjoys his little lover to be other than a silent type, "Naruto let yourself go. I'm already missing your voice."

"Let him be Itachi, he'll soon sing," Madara kissed his lover on the lips, a kiss on cheeks and trailed a wet trail to the boy's jaw and neck. The eldest Uchiha sucked at the tanned flesh causing Naruto a pleasurable discomfort. Itachi instead of his tongue began to use his fingers pushing one at a time by the third insertion Naruto's scrunched up as he body arched, "Add more." As commanded by the Uchiha, Itachi while letting his lover adjust and be stretched he began to palm the poor boy's neglected ache that was half-way wilted from the pain. When he cried out a pang of guilt struck him but he continued to pleasure him. Madara or perhaps now Tobi hummed happily as he played and sucked the hardened nubs taking on reddish wet sheen from his saliva and abuse. "Naru-chan~ pleasure me too!" If the boy could he would have growled at the man but couldn't, "Aww..." He moaned sadly and nuzzled the blond's neck affectionately, and whispered in different change of tone.

"Then I guess Chi-kun and I shall have our way."


Soon he felt at a loss, he felt empty and cold but his face and body still ached and burned from the heat. He felt his body be raised up-right enough for him to wrap his arms round Itachi's neck while straddling his lap—right above his lover's own heated ache—and right behind him he heard something. Pop. However he busied himself with Itachi kissing him lovingly to mind it till he felt something prod at his loose pucker, "Mmph." The moment when he felt being penetrated the Uchiha escaped from his lover's mouth in fear of his tongue being bitten off, he allowed the crook of his neck to be the comfort Naruto needed, "Aaah!" Obito groaned he wasn't even half-way inside Naruto yet he was already losing it with the boy's unbelievable tightness, "Dammit—Naruto relax!" Pulling out slightly he then pushed back inside slowly so not to cause Itachi any trouble; "Damn... Itachi get your dick in him fuck with me already!" Crude. Very crude. Mentally the raven wondered how could this man be so very like their lover (personality wise) and—Itachi hissed when he felt some cold cover his heat; it was Obito being impatient with his idleness.

The older Uchiha positioned his and the younger's close enough to actually push through Naruto's agape hole despite his protest, once they deepened their thrusts together he did indeed sing out in joy. The teen called out their names motivating them more to make the boy bounce on their lap or trusting into his hole abusing his bundle to the point his words slurred, and their kisses were sloppy. "Auuh~ Ita—Itachi! Madara!" He arched his back in ecstasy letting himself rut his throbbing erection against Itachi's firm abdomen while being ravaged his passionate lovers. By the time they were nearing their peak, Madara pushed the boys down onto the bed: Itachi on his back while still Naruto upon him, because of the sudden change in position the younger Uchiha had slipped out while Madara madly snapping his hips against Naruto's rear thrusting deep into him. No matter—he decided to coat their bodies together with his lover.

A kiss, bite and stroke as he was abused inside and out finally he felt his release with Itachi and Madara filling him to the brim with his white seeds. The Uchiha reluctantly pulled away from Naruto's hole which oozed his milk; tired he laid beside Naruto on the left and Itachi on the right. The three clung together in an embrace wherein their arms wrapped the sleeping boy's waist. Together they kissed him on the head and mutter a sweet night to dream, "Goodnight Naruto."

••••••••• TO BE CONTINUED (Final chapter with the last Uchiha)

"Tch... dicks."

NOTES: Review and Roll~

#* Xtra Info.

1* He's in denial. He's actually an "Uchiha-sexual"

2* He addresses them as deviants because they're kinda dirty. If you know what I mean by "dirty."

3* This scene wasn't intentional, it just... happened! Well, lime is great once in while, non?

4* I wanted to post the fluff/lime version instead of lemon itself. But I was thinking — too troublesome.