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I am neither here, nor there, anymore…I thought to myself, feeling the tears fall once more. I tightened my hold around my stomach, trying in vain to hold the shattered pieces of my heart together.
Inuyasha…I had watched him bound away hours earlier. I didn't need to look up from my tear-stained pillow to know that her soul collectors were beckoning him. Sighing, I tried to return to sleep, knowing fully well that it wouldn't come.
A restless hour or so later, I gave up. Sitting up and using the full moon as my lantern, I groped around in my backpack for something to occupy myself with. There was a cup of instant raman, some textbooks, and…prayer beads? I took them out and turned the beads over in my hands.
"Ah, Houshi-sama…you placed these here, didn't you?" I murmured, placing them underneath my pillow. "Well, I'll keep them there, in any case, or at least until morning." Finding my journal underneath all the mess, I walked silent as a ghost to the river near Lady Kaede's hut.
No surprise, but Inuyasha went after Kikyo…again. I wish for once that he would choose me. Am I really just a shard detector? Do I really matter to him? Never mind, the answer is obvious: I don't. How could I really expect him to care for me?
Before I could write any further, a covered hand stopped my pen from writing the many other words I thought. "Lady Kagome…" a velvet voice whispered from behind my shoulder. "Is something the matter?"
"Hai and iie, Miroku-sama." I pushed his hand off my pen lightly and closed my journal.
I shrugged, not knowing exactly how to put it. "Inuyasha…" Before I could explain further, a dark look crossed his face.
"He is a baka, and not worthy of your sadness, Lady Kagome."
"Stop calling me that!" I swatted his arm. "Just Kagome, remember? And I know he is…"
He tilted his head so he could look into my eyes. "Lad…Kagome. Kudasai, tell me what is wrong."
So I did. I told him of the many nights that Inuyasha left, following those stupid soul collectors, and always returning just before dawn broke over the skyline. Of the many times I had already felt my heart breaking, but none worse than the day before…as if imagining what happened hen they were together wasn't enough, I had to see them kiss! "Please, Miroku-sama...don't ever do that to a girl in the future."
He cupped my face in his hand and looked deep into my eyes – heck, probably into my soul. "I promise with every fiber of my being, Kagome." He kissed my cheek and stood back up. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "We had better return to the hut before Shippo-kun wakes up and notices you're gone. And before Inuyasha comes back."
I mutely nodded, looping an arm through his. I hugged his arm close, trying to find some source of comfort in it. He chuckled, looking down with a grin.
"Nani?" I asked, concern etched on my face.
We reached the hut, and I proceeded to lay down again, hoping sleep would envelop me. It didn't. A half hour after returning, I whispered into the darkness. "Miroku-sama? Are you awake?"
I heard a slight rustling in the corner nearest me, and then the cook fire sprouted to life. "Hai, Kagome-chan."
"Oh, gomen!" I exclaimed, realizing I had in fact woken him.
"Do not apologize for needing comfort." He wore that lazy smile of his. "Especially if it is because of matters of the heart."
"Doomo arigato, Miroku-sama."
"Think nothing of it. Now, Kagome-chan, what is troubling you?"
I sighed, sitting up and looking him in the eye. "He still hasn't returned, and the dawn is coming."
He gestured with his hand for me to crawl over to him, and I did. Somehow, having someone's arm wrapped around me felt nice. "Think nothing of it, Kagome-chan." He muttered into my hair. "If he chooses so readily to leave you, he is not worth it."
"Soo desu ka?"
"Yes, it is." He pulled me away a bit, only so he could look into my eyes. "Promise me, Kagome-chan, that if things do not work out with you and Inuyasha, you will consider bearing my child."
I giggled, seeing the humor sparkling in his eyes. "I promise."
He kissed my cheek again before pulling a blanket over top of us both. "Until the morning?"
"If only it would come sooner. But we need to clear one last thing: what are we, exactly?"
He smiled again, looking into my eyes. "We are friends, nothing more and nothing less. But I hope that will change. Aishiteru, Kagome-chan."
I mumbled back to him, fighting sleep away for the first time that night. "Aishiteru you as well, Houshi-sama."
The last thing I remember was him smiling down at me, before sleep covered me like an old friend.
AN: I just watched "Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss" and thought our Kagome needed some cheering up, courtesy of one monk.
Definitions (in order of use):
Hai : yes
Iie : no
Nani : what?
Baka : idiot
Kudasai : please
Gomen : sorry
Doomo arigato : thank you
Soo desu ka : is that so? Really?
'K, now here's just a small rant on Kagome Higurashi…
She's supposed to be your normal teenager. Kagome goes to school, has trouble with her friends fixing her up with a guy who's infatuated with her, and deals with her family. Now, suddenly, on her birthday, she's sucked through a well into Feudal Japan. When she gets there, this all-powerful jewel comes out of her body, and she learns that she's the reincarnation of a super-powerful priestess. Hm…Now, we all complain about Mary Sue stories, but isn't Kagome the ultimate Mary Sue?
But, much as we can love to hate her, can't you see how hard things are for her? Yes, Kagome is a "Mary Sue", but she's a little deeper than that. Imagine if the one you loved repeatedly left in the middle of the night to be with some reincarnated version of his first (and only) love.
So, I know that there are Kagome Bashers out there, and I'm a little ashamed to admit I used to be (and sometimes still am) one. But, hey: cut the girl some slack.