A Day In The Life: Red X

Hi. My name's... Well that's not important. But you can call me Red X, or Red, or 'X'. Or you can be like this one alien chick and call me 'seXy'. I know what you're thinking, how do you pronounce a capital 'X'? Right? Well I'm not sure, but she does it... But I digress. I'm here because I'm about to break into that there museum. Your here cuz I'm bored, and my pet rock isn't much on conversation, more on that later. People ask how I can be a career thief at nineteen. They don't actually know how old I am but you know what I mean. But It's not the how, the how is easy, what they should be asking is 'why'. But they never do. It's actually pretty easy once you get a fence or someone to commissions your 'services', but I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. Maybe I should explain how it works first.

First thing you need is a fence, or two, or five, depending on where you operate, how much stuff you gotta hock, and how paranoid you are. After that you steal stuff then take it to a fence and he (or 'she' in some cases) will buy it from you, anything from jewels to cars. Most of them specialise in moving certain kinds of hot merchandise. The rich shady people are connected to all kinds of fences, and when they want something specific they go to the fences who recommend you. If you're good. And I'm good, very good, the best even. I know, modest right? Any way that's what I'm doing here; some rich dude wants me to steal this small golden statue thing, looks a pile of trash to me but I guess that's what you call modern art. And that brings me to the 'why'. And truthfully there's lots of reasons. Collecting a fat payment from the rich guy (he's good for it, I checked), the big payout the insurance company is going to have to make tomorrow (their bastards you can ask anyone) the challenge of indirectly going head to head with the brightest minds at some high-brow alarm company. Then there's the immediate payoff: the adrenaline rush, just look at it, the only thing between me and the museum roof is a few dozen feet of air. Next comes the most thrilling part. I place my right foot into the blank expanse in front of me and shift my weight forward...