A/N This is the sequel to 'something should be talked' that I had in my mind! Sorry it took a while to get sorted out. A special thanks and a huge hug to Muffy Morriagan for looking through the story and working her magic fingers in it :D
Don't own the Winchester boys :) All CW. I just had a lil fun. But all the mistakes are mine and sorry for that.
Something that never be forgotten.
Moonlight had bathed the room and Sam flipped on to his side gazing at Dean. It had been long week…too long for Sam Winchester for he had been sick. He hated the flu with a passion and couple it up with phenomena….well, they were just not good days.
They had been dealing with a skinwalker that had done a good number on their friend, Caleb, which led them to finish the hunt as they had been the closest. Sam was feeling under the weather and his brother was reluctant to take the job. If Caleb hadn't been injured, Sam was pretty sure that Dean would have turned down the job immediately. But they couldn't turn their backs on the hunt. People's lives were at risk…Caleb was pretty messed up. Dean suggested that Sam should stay with Caleb at the hospital. Sam had looked at his brother with disbelief and pretty much roared that he wouldn't risk Dean going on the job alone.
So they hunted the damn skinwalker in bad weather… and the next morning Sam was down with fever. It was enough to send Dean into super-protective big brother mode and he had been hovering over the youngest Winchester like a mother hen, worrying about his health. Sam was grateful and also annoyed by his worried sibling. Sam had been quite hard to tolerate and he knew it. He had been bitching and whining and Dean was patient with him. Things were little tensed between them. Sam sighed into the pillow. It was almost three weeks since what happened at Roosevelt Asylum. Sam sighed again. He was starting to remember what happened at the Asylum, much to his dismay. Sam almost wished he'd forget. But then again, it had explained Dean's weird behavior after what happened.
It came as nightmares first. He was haunted by the same nightmare of the dirty basement and Dean's being shot. Sam remembered the first time he had the nightmare. It was so vivid and real, Sam had been pretty sure it happened and he had a one hell of a breakdown. His big brother had been there, comforting him…just like he had done when Jess died, holding him…whispering comforting words to him. Sam was quite surprised at Dean's reaction first. Dean always woke him up during the nightmares and he absently ran his fingers through Sam's hair, when he said what the nightmare was about in the first few days after their great chick flick moment. Sam was aware that whenever he would tell Dean the nightmare, Dean would get disconnected and seem to be somewhere else but the gentle fingers massaging his scalp were there. It was like Dean was unconsciously doing it while listening, with a distant look in his eyes. Once he'd finished with the nightmare Dean would pat his arm and walked back to bed. This had worried Sam and he decided not to tell his older brother. But it never worked, and Dean insisted whatever the nightmare was he should talk about it. He even hinted that maybe one of the nightmares happened to be some sort of a vision. Soon Jess dying wasn't the nightmare, it was Dean's being shot. Whenever he woke up he'd say it's the nightmare and Dean would know what it was.
Then it came to him as flashbacks…with pain severe enough to make him lose conscious. They were about the asylum…the two teens they saved…and the dead doctor holding his head. After flashbacks he felt weak and drained. Dean was worried about this, and called Bobby and Pastor Jim. They suggested that it must have been the after effects of the run in with the fear demon. About five days after the incident the most dreaded flashback came to Sam…something he had not wanted at all.
Sam went to get doughnuts and coffee since unlikely the last few days, he had woken up first. Sam knew that his big brother probably was tired to bone with him being not quite up and about Sam sighed and opened the door of their motel room. His action had startled his surprised sibling. Dean was wearing a towel, freshly out of the shower rummaging through his duffel for clothes. Sam froze when he saw Dean's chest. Although it looked like it was healing, it was badly bruised. Then suddenly it hit him in full…the flashback…nightmares of him shooting Dean. Sam whimpered letting go of the coffee and bag of doughnuts, clutching his head tightly as the pain became unbearable. His knees buckled as the flashback started and Sam faintly felt strong arms holding him and gently easing him to the floor. He saw himself following Dean to the basement, Dean finding the hidden room, him shooting Dean with rock salt, all the hateful words and Dean giving him a gun. Pulling the trigger four times and hearing the echoing dull clicks of the empty gun…Dean knocking him down…and Sam let himself get dragged into the pit of darkness….too weak to protest … too painful to bear up.
When Sam woke up he was tucked in warm blankets and a cool cloth was lying on his forehead. He blinked few times to get his mind cleared and tried to get his vision focused. His head still hurt…now with a dull throbbing and he was feeling drowsy. Sam sighed as he felt the ever so familiar gentle massage on his scalp. Sam gently rolled his head to the hand that was stroking his head and he saw his big brother sitting next to him on the bed. Leaning on to the headboard staring ahead with haunted eyes…not really seeing anything.
"Dean?" Sam rasped out in a small whisper. His throat was scratchy and he hated how weak he sounded. Dean tore his eyes from whatever he had been looking at and looked at him. Sam's heart clenched seeing the worried, helpless look in his big brother's eyes.
"Hey," Dean gently brushed away the hair out of his eyes.
"You k?" Sam asked drowsily, his eye lids are getting heavier and heavier.
"Yeah…Go back to sleep Sam." Sam sighed and gave in to the tiredness and he felt the warm fingers back on to their job.
Next time he woke up, Sam was more coherent although he still felt weak as a new born kitten. He saw Dean on the arm chair next to him writing some notes in their father's journal. Sam's breathe hitched when he remembered what made him so weak. And it caught Dean's attention.
"Hey!" Dean closed the journal and got up from the chair. He placed the journal on the table and brought him some pain killers and glass of water. Dean helped the younger boy up and gently eased him to the pillow he had put on the headboard.
"You ok?" Dean asked, giving him the glass and pills and once Sam took them, he felt his forehead. San leaned into the touch. Dean sighed. "Well no fever…least that's good," he said, forcing some cheerfulness into his voice.
"Why?" Sam asked the question that kept nagging him. Why didn't Dean tell him about this after all the nightmares? All the other visions…Why?
"Because I thought that it was for the best."
"Best? I shot you Dean!"
"Do you think I don't know that?" Dean asked tiredly and Sam felt guilty to be the cause of the tiredness in his big brother's voice.
"That isn't what I meant."
"Then what do you mean Sam? Tell me?"
Sam didn't hesitate for a minute. "I'm sorry!"
"Well, it's not like you did it intentionally Sam. A dead son of a bitch screwed with your head."
"But what I said…'
"Yeah, well, I'm aware of that too. And I forgive you for it…believe it or not…I do know how you feel Sam."
"What do you mean?"
"That you are frustrated to hell…and man I'm too. Dad's gone missing and then what killed mom comes out of blue and kills Jessica. You want to find dad and the demon…all those I get it and unfortunately I'm the only one that you can lashed out and not to mention that you are pissed that I'm following what dad says. And there's a whole back-story behind the reason for me following Dad's orders. It's kinda understandable how doc just took the advantage of your anger…"
Sam blinked. How did Dean know exactly what was going inside his head. But then again this is his big brother! He almost knows everything about him "Wow…I'm impressed."
"Whatever, smart ass, and if the roles were different I will admit I might be like that too," Dean said, running a hand through his hair.
"I doubt that!" Sam said, knowing that Dean might not be bale to shoot Sam whatever the reason it is
"I dunno. Given circumstance…there's a chance."
"But I still don't get why you didn't tell me"
"I almost lost you to that fear demon because of this fucking asylum. You had been guilty...and carrying it around…I haven't been exactly helpful. I don't wanna go through that again. Yeah I was glad that you forget it. Then we could just leave it behind without picking up pieces later. I was ready to talk to only if you remember it and I want you to know that you shouldn't be guilty. It happened and it's over and we are good."
"That's it….I mean…"
"It just hurt really badly. More than the rock salt that you hate me… I was wondering why you were so angry and I wondered where I went wrong…what I did?" Dean's voice was low, almost to a whisper.
"It's not…You didn't do anything wrong…It was just me…frustrated and angry….I'm sorry, Dean…I don't hate you."
"I know that," Dean said, looking at him, his eyes clearly showing that Dean did believe it. Sam hugged himself, wondering how his brother could be so forgiving sometimes.
"And I wanna say sorry too," Dean went on.
"For what?" Sam asked surprised.
"For being a jackass about it…almost for most of the things…I wish I had answers, Sam…but I don't. And like I said, you need to prepare yourself. You need to have patience. Dad hunted this thing for 22 years and we are still at a dead end…" Dean's voice trailed off and his brows furrowed in thought.
"It'll be a long run, and if you won't be patient and learn to hold on…Things like asylum can easily happen." Sam looked at him guiltily.
Dean huffed. "Didn't say it to make you feel guilty. Just to let you know we'll work on it, ok?"
"Now let's eat something… You need to get your strength back."
"Yeah, true!" Sam said, rubbing his eyes. Dean got up and walked to the table where the take-out bags were, but before he grabbed them, he stopped and turned back.
"Just so you know… Once you are up, I'm gonna kick your ass for making me go all girly on this for far too long!! Dude, for two weeks!!" Dean shook his head indignantly and walked to the table. Sam chuckled, feeling much better. He still had Dean despite what happened.
Sam lay in bed thinking back over what had happened between them. Their talk had helped, the flashbacks had ceased afterwards, though the nightmares still haunted him. But Dean's care – or rather mothering – during the last week when Sam had been sick had more than anything else convinced him that Dean had forgiven him. Now he only had to forgive himself, which was hard when the nightmares still haunted him.
He spent some time going in and out of sleep when he heard something dropped next to him, then Dean swearing. It was still dark in the motel, so he couldn't see what was happening.
"Dean?" Sam slurred sleepily. He must have startled his brother because he heard something fall again and Dean swearing even more loudly.
"Whatcha doing?" Sam asked, rolling his head in Dean's direction.
"Nothing," Dean said far too quickly for Sam's liking.
"Go to sleep Sam. It's still early"
"Power failure…I went to the bathroom and tripped over something. Will you now go to sleep, princess?"
Sam huffed and turned his face to the pillow, letting himself go back to sleep.
The first thing Sam saw when he woke up was a banner hung up in front of his bed saying "Happy Birthday!" Dean had scribbled 'Sammy' after it. He blinked at it a few times and rubbed his eyes, slowly getting up and sitting on the bed. Darn, it was his birthday and he had forgotten. He smacked his forehead feeling stupid and amused.
There were balloons almost everywhere. Sam's heart fluttered with happy and warm feelings. They were celebrating his birthday together after four years apart.
Dean had not forgotten his birthday while he was at Stanford. Somehow boxes arrived to his apartment at his birthday, and they were filled with either protection charms and porn magazines or just books that he loved to read. Jessica had always been skeptical about the boxes but she had grown to be as excited as he was to open them. She'd laugh her head off at porn magazines while Sam turned shades of pink, but not too long after he would join her laughter.
Sam had sent all Dean's presents to Pastor Jim's church or to Bobby's as they were the only people they knew who had places for themselves.
He smiled fondly at his big brother who was sleeping facedown on the other bed, snoring lightly. This was what his older sibling had been doing in the dark motel room. Sam chuckled softly, then lay back on the bed, not wanting to ruin the surprise Dean had for him.
A squeeze on his shoulder woke him up, and when he opened his eyes ,he found Dean grinning at him like it an idiot.
"Happy birthday, Sammy!" Sam first wondered whether he could fake being surprised and shocked at Dean's attempt since he had already seen it, but it was easy. One look at his brother's face that looked like an excited six-year–old's, and Sam broke into a goofy grin of his own.
"Thanks…This is cool, man," Sam said, happily looking around, and weirdly enough it felt like it's first time he's actually seeing Dean's effort.
Dean ducked his head and ran his hand through the short blonde hair. Sam chuckled.
"Whatever, birthday boy," he said, ruffling Sam's hair. Dean then felt his forehead and grinned.
"No fever! How's your breathing?"
"Then, little brother, you and me are going to check out the lake. How does that sound?"
"Ok, let's get started then!" Dean rubbed his hands and went to his bed. Grabbing two parcels under his pillow, he gave them Sam.
"I thought that it was your precious knife?"
Dean scowled. "That is sacred!" Sam snorted.
"It's not porn, is it?"
"You are an adult, dude… A little porn in your life won't kill you!"
Sam shook his head and opened the wrapping. He wasn't surprised to find the first magazine was a porn magazine. He whipped it at Dean, who caught it. The other magazine thankfully was Newsweek.
He opened the next package and two books fell from the wrapping. One was The Lions of Lucerne by Brad Thor, and the other one was called The Legacy, written by Annie Heather.
"Legacy is about two brothers… Man that book kicks ass!!" Dean said as Sam started flipping through the pages.
"You read this?"
"So?" Dean looked at him, scowling slightly. Sam laughed.
"Dude, it's good and you should read it. I totally like Galen there… Great guy!" Sam smiled and tucked the books under his pillow.
"Thanks, Dean!" Sam said, smiling warmly. Dean rolled his eyes.
"Happy birthday, kiddo." He ruffled Sam's hair again and smiled back warmly.
Sam felt more happy than he had for months. He might be sick - but this was a one good birthday!
We wish you a very happy (although belated) birthday Sammy. Wish you good health, and less getting-strangled situations. Healthy love life and lots of happiness….and we wish for you to be able to save Dean from Kripke's evil deal.
Sam: Dean…That was not a prayer.
Dean: Felt like a one!!
My exams are officially over on May 7th, so I'll be starting to write again then. : )
I'm starting my amnesia Dean Story 'Lost without memories' too. I actually have the coming chapters with me…and just wanted to inform you that I haven't abandoned the story. Me and Abni are writing the story 'The Howling' it's posted under Abni's name and there's a link in my profile too. If you are interested please drop us a review : )
Thank you very much for reading. Hope you'll drop a review and say how the story is!