Title: Becoming Gay
: Reyn
: R18
: I don't own Naruto. Nor am I gay myself. Meaning, yes, this is all just the work of a deranged fangirl mind.
: gay (which is as to be expected from me), I'm sick and just took some Nyquil (which means you may just watch me go all druggy through my writing), and AU (school setting, high school or college, your choice).
Author's Note
: This was completely inspired by a line I heard from some movie playing on the TV in the background. Hooray for such a random yet strong source of inspiration!

Becoming Gay

It was meant to be your typical 'Get To Know Thy Enemy' mission – more or less to find out how many more hoops he would have to jump through thanks to this guy already having captured the eyes and heart of one Sakura Haruno. So it was more than a little understandable that when the mostly one-sided interrogation became something of a conversation, Naruto froze.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Then again, it could have just been the choice in the question itself.

"I…what?" Naruto so eloquently asked after blinking the appropriate amount of times.

Dark eyes finally looked up and held his gaze in more than a passing glance. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Sasuke repeated. After a moment of flustered and understandably bewildered silence, he continued. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have asked. It's really none of my business."

Naruto (who was now standing at this point, fully ready to just make a run for it) paused and out of morbid curiosity asked, "Then why did you?"

Sasuke shrugged, a move that more involved him dipping his body than raising his shoulders, seeing as how his elbows were firmly rested on the table between them. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "You seem like the type that would fit the cliché 'All the good ones are either gay or taken' saying, so I guess you could say I was just curious."

Something similar to a light bulb began to slowly blink to life in the back of Naruto's mind as he shifted his bag's strap so that it was resting more comfortably on his shoulder. "Do…Do I come off as gay or something?"

Sasuke seemed surprised by the question and took a moment to consider the man before him before answering. "Not particularly. Why?"

Naruto frowned. "Well…you asked if I had a boyfriend." He hoped that didn't sound too defensive.

"Oh. Boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, partner, master, soul mate, whatever term rocks your boat," Sasuke clarified flippantly.

Master? In his personal opinion, each of those terms represented something vastly different. But before Naruto could argue such a case, the other continued.

"I apologize if my choice in which term I used offended you."

"Oh, no! No!" Hands were waved about in rapid denial. "It's just; I thought the whole school knew that I was after Sakura. So your question just threw me a bit is all."

"Sakura Haruno?" At the confirming nod, the previously open demeanor instantly slammed shut. "I see. And that would explain all the unwarranted glaring and you coming over here to talk to me in the first place then?"

Naruto winced a bit at the icy look he was now being scrutinized under and wondered if he should just take his chances with running away.

"Can I give you a bit of advice, Uzumaki?" Sasuke was quick to continue, not giving Naruto a chance to respond. "Forget about Sakura and set your sights on someone you actually stand a chance with instead."

Naruto drew back, feeling slightly offended. "Like who?" he challenged.

Sasuke stood, gathering up his mess and lifting his dark brown tray from the table. "Like me," he answered before turning towards the nearest trash bin.

It took a moment for Naruto's brain to catch up with what had been said. "What?! Wait a minute, why the hell would I choose you over Sakura?" Naruto demanded, making chase.

"I don't know," Sasuke replied, dumping out the remains of his lunch and setting his tray on the pile. "What does she have that I don't?"

"Uhm, breasts, for one." Naruto bent to pick up a fallen napkin and shove it in the trash before chasing after Sasuke.

"Tch, physical appearances aside, moron," Sasuke growled, heading out into the school's courtyard to go brood under a tree.

"Well, I don't know!" Naruto argued, and it was then that he realized he really didn't. Hell, he didn't know Sasuke, and what he actually knew about Sakura was more through reputation than anything else.

"Then maybe you should think about it. Do you actually want to be with Sakura because you would enjoy the feeling of listening to her going on and on and on about her day, putting your arm around her to make her feel better – even if it's over something as frivolous as some old lady cutting her off on the freeway, eventually waking up next to her just so you can watch her sleep, or even making a fool out of yourself just to see her laugh?"

"Wow, you've really put a lot of thought into this-"

"Or do you want to be with her simply because when you see her from across the classroom, the only thought that enters your blond little head is 'She so pretty'?"

It didn't exactly take a rocket scientist to know which option Naruto was after, so rather than deny it, he decided it best to try and turn it around. "So what? Are you saying you can give me all that and she can't?"

Sasuke grinned wickedly. "No, I'm saying I can give you an Option C."

"…What's Option C?"

Option C, as it turned out, was Naruto in the bathroom with his pants around his ankles and his cock being given a lavish tongue bath by Sasuke. He wasn't quite sure what this had to do with their argument earlier, but at the moment, he really didn't care. Hell, given how retarded Naruto seemed to be in the rituals of sexual courtshipping, his normally starved libido was quite fond of Option C.

However, being the sexual courtshipping retard that he was, Naruto was at a complete loss with what to do when it was a guy's head down there instead of a woman's. Was it still okay to grab the hair? Should he just go with it and move his hips with enthusiasm? Should he moan – Oohhh, that was good. Just like that – okay, so maybe he should moan more seeing as how it got him better results.

While better results were good, they also led to a moment of panic in which Naruto's short mental debate of 'Oh shit, I'm gonna cum should I tell him I'm cumming or just tell him to stop or-!!' ended with a loud, "FUCK!" that echoed through the empty stalls and a flash of bright light that may or may not have only taken place in his head.

When he came to (a full two seconds later), Naruto found himself on the floor, leaning against the wall with his now much-softer dick still hanging out and feeling a bit cold. This normally would have called for action at his attention, except he was immediately distracted at the sight sitting across from him, making quick work of his own belt and pants.

Naruto watched in silence as Sasuke pulled out his own alarmingly hard dick and began to rapidly pump it, obviously wasting no time on settling on some nice fantasy in favor of simply getting off as soon as possible.

Four seconds later, Naruto could see why no mental images were needed as the boy gave out a loud cry and covered his cock with his other hand just in time to stop the streams of seed from spurting out of control.

Greedy blue eyes drank in the image, vaguely wondering if it was normal for males to get off so…violently after sucking someone else's dick.

For a short while the two of them simply rested, enjoying the high they were quickly coming down from. Sasuke was the first to move, forcing himself to stand so he could reach for the paper towels without looking like too much of an idiot.

Once he cleaned himself off and properly tucked himself back in, he turned to Naruto, who looked like he would have been perfectly happy to simply fall asleep on the floor.

"After Option C, we work our way back to Option A." A business card was pulled from his wallet and Sasuke scribbled something down on the back. "Movies this Saturday at 7. If you can't make it, give me a call and we can reschedule."

With a small nod, Naruto took the card and managed a wave as Sasuke unlocked the bathroom door and headed out. It wasn't until he began to struggle to stand that Naruto had the horrifying thought of, 'Wait. Does this mean I'm gay now?'