Princess Rosalina's Farting Problem
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Edited this because first of all, Rosalina is a shitty character and you should be ashamed for liking her, and second, this is to concede with another Princess Rosalina fart fanfic. That, and the rating got bumped to T for more exposure and... the very nature of this fucking story. Enjoy.
Yoshizilla: First Princess Peach, then Daisy, and now Rosalina. You know, this is the third "Princess's Farting Problem" fic I've done, though I think this might be my last, because I don't plan to continue. ANYWAY... (cough cough) Now that I have gotten that small unnecessary bit out of the way, I got the inspiration for this from Rosalina wearing her biker outfit in Mario Kart Wii upon her stunts, which are quite appealing. And after my two earlier fanfics that involved two certain princesses from the Mario universe passing gas... and the fact that Wario has farting as one of his many incredible and awesome, unique moves in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and since it sort of fits Rosalina with her stunts and her biker suit...(gets odd stairs from everyone) ... I'll shut up now. You'll find out why this is rated K plus, folks... and that's all I have to state. read and enjoy the weird and freaky fanfic!
Disclaimer: Princess Rosalina, Wario, Diddy Kong, Toad, and all other things that I'm not going to state to you because it's just a way for me to pathetically increase the word count and is basically a waste a time for all you folks reading this out in the real world belong to Nintendo. (gets weird looks from everyone) DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK...
"You know what?" Dry Bowser asked Funky Kong as the two were riding in their own Piranha Prowlers around the volcanic Grumble Volcano, looking at the main volcano itself as the boney reptile shook his head. "I wonder how that fat blue ripoff of Peach from space took to joining these races."
"Oh, she took the racing pretty fine." Funky Kong confirmed as he adjusted his red and white bandanna, snapping his fingers. "It's the battles that got to her. And boy, do I have a story to tell on that..."
Cue flashback. One minute on the clock. The battlefield for which the four racers - Princess Rosalina along with her small, yellow Luma (both sharing the same slot), Wario, Diddy Kong, and Toad - were on was the SNES Battle Course 4, and Rosalina was the only remaining character on the red team, which had Mario, Luigi, Funky Kong, and a random Mii, but were eliminated, while the Blue Team had another random Mii, Dry Bones, and another Dry Bones, who were also taken out. Wario, Diddy, and Toad were all separated from each other, but each had the same goal - search for Rosalina.
"C'mon, bike, don't fail me now," Rosalina stated to herself as she felt pressure coming to her, sweating nervously as her biker outfit started to feel tight, quite wet, and very smelly from the sweat. The yellow Luma was just as concerned.
"Mama, I would just not think about it." The Luma annoyingly squeaked, trying to comfort its 'mother', "You have three red balloons, and all the others have only one blue balloon."
Rosalina groaned as she did a wheelie and drifted to the right, spotting Diddy Kong, who held on him three red shells. Gasping, Rosalina turned around, but she got hit by one of the shells, and she cursed as she lost one of her balloons. Only two balloons remained as Diddy swiftly approached, firing off another red shell, but Rosalina turned right around the right corner, and the shell bumped into the brick wall.
"There are not enough items to help me..." Rosalina muttered to herself as she tossed a banana peel behind her, with it not being useful. She shook her head. "Is there anything that can help me?"
As she asked, her stomach started to gurgle quite loudly. Rosalina bit her lips, but she realized she wasn't hungry. She actually had gas.
"Wait..." Rosalina stated to herself, gasping as she covered her mouth. "I could just...yes, that's it!" She stopped the bike, and waited for Diddy to approach in his kart.
The Luma shouted to Rosalina, not knowing what she was planning. Rosalina then stood up on her bike, and aimed her butt at Diddy, waiting for the monkey to approach. She then closed her eyes and struggled, letting one loose, which was enough to cause Diddy to spin and lose a balloon, knocking him out of the race.
Toad screamed in horror as he watched Rosalina's powerful fart blast Diddy into oblivion. "Noooooo!" The young, red-capped mushroom boy started crying as he then drifted to the right and was right next to Wario, who was holding a bo-bomb, telling him what happened to Diddy. Wario, glaring right at Rosalina, tossed the bomb towards her, and watched as she and her Luma went into the air from the fiery explosion, causing her second red balloon to burst.
Rosalina moaned as she crashed down to the ground. She noticed that Wario was coming towards her, and Toad was heading towards the other direction. Getting an idea, Rosalina nabbed three mushrooms from the item box and used them to zip past Wario and zoom towards Toad, appearing in front of him and then quickly turning around, her butt facing Toad's face. Toad screamed as Rosalina grinned devilishly, closing her eyes and farting right into the poor mushroom boy's eyes.
Wario's jaw dropped in disbelief as Toad disappeared from the battlefield after being farted right in the face. Fuming, Wario started up the engine of his Wario Bike, and he thrashed through the hard yellow brick walls and headed straight for Rosalina. Rosalina, gasping, jumped over Wario, and then drifted around him, waiting for the perfect opportunity as she then stopped. Wario aimed for her back, and he thrusted the Wario Bike forward at full speed, his eyes filled with intense, fiery red-and-yellow flames as steam poured out of his big pink nose. Rosalina smirked, and he stood up from her bike, bending down and allowing Wario's nose to hit her butt as she unleashed her most powerful fart yet, even deadlier than the infamous fat man's gas.
Wario screamed as he spun around and bobbed into a fake item box, losing his last blue balloon and disappearing, growling with rage. Rosalina cheered, and she clapped her hands together while her Luma floated with glee right to left. Rosalina then sat down, but she accidentally farted a big one, strong enough to knock out Lakitu and the Luma. Rosalina covered her mouth, embarrassed, but she giggled as she picked up her knocked out Luma and headed towards the west, heading back to the main hub after her gassy victory for the red team.
"...and that's how my team won." Funky Kong concluded as the two finished racing around the Grumble Volcano, making it back to the finish line. "Interesting, no?"
"...Yeah, sure thing." Dry Bowser remarked as he rolled his eyes, the two heavyweight clones turning their heads to see the last member of their heavy clone trio zipping by. Or rather, gassing by, with Rosalina farting uncontrollably in her own Piranha Prowler, before being burnt to a crisp by the molten red magma spouting around the race track, with Dry Bowser and Funky Kong looking at each other, shrugging as they were apathetic at Rosalina dying.
THE END... yeah right.