Tenten popped her head out of the toilet. "Where am I? Is this where Neji is?" As she climbed out of the human waste disposal, there was a loud banging seconds after the noise stopped an "Ouchie" was muttered.
Tenten wandered out of the small bathroom and looked around. From what she could tell, it a was a wooden house. Alot bigger then her shack.
A figure in white clumsily lifted itself off the floor. "Lloydie? Where'd you go?" Said a voice coming from the inside of a brown paper bag.
Tenten took the bag off the person."Does that help?" The girl blinked a few times. "I can see! Wheres Lloydie?" The blonde asked, vigorously looking around the room.
Colette, as if she was noticing Tenten for the first time, turned to her. "Lloydie is Lloydie silly, who else would Lloydie be. Do you know where Lloydie is?
"I dont think I know a Lloydie. By the way, where am I?"
"Silly, your in Lloydies house!" The stupid blonde answered.
scratched her head. "Um...Where is Lloydies house at?"
"In Lloydies yard"
Tenten frowned. "Ok, where is Lloydies yard at?"
"On a mountain"
All of a sudden the theme-song to "Winx Club" started playing throughout the house.
Tenten scanned the room but could not find a radio or speaker.
In her head Colette was dancing.
the theme ended Kikyo appeared in the middle of the room.
"Hello freaks." He/she greeted.
"Thats not nice..." Colette said, looking somewhat sad.
"Where did that music come from?" Tenten asked Kikyo.
"I've decided to have a song play everytime I appear, it adds more entertainment to the story. All the songs are picked by me of course. I'm not going to make my grand entrance to a shitty song. Anyway, I'm here again to give you advice to help you along in your journ-" Kikyo abruptly stopped and looked down.
Colette was poking his/her foot, which was making his/her image flicker.
"What are you doing?" Kikyo demanded.
Colette looked up. "Why are you all see-through? And how come I can put my hand through you? Are you a ghost?"
"No. I'm an astral-projection. Like a hologram." The priest/priestess replied.
Kikyo grabbed the side of his/her head. "UGH! If I could only!...As I was saying, I've come to tell you that-" She/he was cut off as his/her image flickered again.
"Keep your hands to yourself!" Kikyo snapped, glaring at Colette.
Colette quickly pulled her finger away.
Keeping an eye on Colette Kikyo started talking again. "Oh, I forgot, since I was rudely interrupted. This idiot is Colette. Ugly, meet stupid. Stupid, meet ugly. Now shake hands"
Tenten and Colette did as they were told.
"Hi Ugly!" The blonde over loudly greeted.
"Hi Colette. Umm, my names Tenten"
"Oh, hi Tenten. You smell nice! It reminds me of Lloydies poo"
"I have to hurry and get to the point, I just saw Onigumo run through the woods naked. Lloyd was captured by the same evil force that took Neji. So you two are going to have to work together to save them."
Colettes eyes bulged out of her head. "LLOYDIE WAS CAPTURED?!"
"Yes stupid. Now you two have to find the third member of your team. Tenten, you know what to do"
Tenten nodded and held up the stone bowl.
"...Wow. That was gay...Now farewell stupid people." Kikyos astral-projection faded out.
"Lloydie...gone?" Colette said out loud, her small brain un-yet able to grasp the idea.
The weapons user walked up to her and gave her a hug. "Don't worry, will find them"
...The touching scene was broken as a long, liquidy fart cut through the air. Tenten and Colette turned to find a man with spiky, dark brown hair standing 15 ft. away from them in a red, low-cut dress, red heels, and with red lipstick.
"Hi Kratos! You look pretty. Why are you here?" Colette said to the man dressed in drag.
"Um...I was looking for Lloyd" He replied as he tried to pull his short dress down lower. "I wanted to see if he thought this was too small. Oh well, Ill go ask Genis." Kratos left, doing a very sexy model walk out the door.
"Come on. We have to go!" Tenten stated as she dragged Colette to the bathroom.
Once again Tenten held up the bowl. The water swirled and turned multicolor.
Colettes eyes grew the size of saucers. "OHMYGOSH! Its so pretty! Rainbow is my favorite color"
"I know! Its one of mine too! My others are black, because its the color of Nejis hair. Blue, because its Nejis favorite color. Tan, because its the color of Nejis vest. Baby blue, because its the color of Nejis underwear. White, because-"
"-bic hair. Theres alot more then that but we gotta hurry up. Go on, jump in."
"Jump In? OHMYGOSH! I love that movie."
"Ok, you go first"
"Go where? In the toilet"
Colettes eyes lit up."OHMYGOSH! One of my life-long dreams is to jump in a toilet that has a rainbow colored portal to another dimension in it! This is almost as good as the time I got animal crackers for Christmas!"
Colette and Tenten leaped into the portal. The two flew through the whirling multicolored tunnel.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Colette gleefully cried.
Werites Beacon: Raynard Residence
"AGH! Darnit'! I knew it wasn't a good idea to use Wills camode!" Moses exclaimed, furiously pumping a plunger in and out of the toilet.
"Only the natural cycle of decay in the wilderness can handle my manly dumps. Not some metal poop sucker"
of a sudden a force sent Moses flying backwards into the tub. "WAAH!
Oomph!" Moses rubbed his head. "The hell?" Feeling
something moving on him he opened his eyes.
"HI!" Colette greeted, 5 centimeters away from his face.
Moses blinked a few times. "Uh...Hey"
"Huh? What is this thing?" Tenten was in the opposite end of the tub, struggling with the plunger on her head. She started getting up. "It wont come off, and I cant see."
"Ill help!" Colette exclaimed, then got off of Moses and went over to Tenten, grabbing the stick part and pulling.
Moses stared wide-eyed at them. "Are you toilet martians?"
Colette took her hands of the plunger and put her finger on her chin. "Um...I dont think so...maybe...whats one look like?"
Moses scratched his head. "Uh...I'm not sure"
Tenten tripped out of the bathtub and hit the floor. "Help please."
Moses stood up. "Here, hold your friend from the back. I should be able to help you with my manly strength"
you man with no shirt." Colette said as she grabbed onto Tentens
Moses spit into his hands and rubbed them together. He grabbed the handle and gave it a good pull. Nothing budged.
one." He gave it another big pull. Again, nothing.
He grunted. "One more time." He pulled with all his might. With a loud pop, Tenten and Colette were sent flying toward a nearby window.
That just happened to be closed.
Moses stared at the plunger that he still held.
guess I dont know my own strength. At least I got it off her
"MOSES! What was that?! It sounded like glass shattering?!"
Moses quickly put the plunger away and started arranging the curtain over the window. "Um, nothing wrong in here Will. A baseball flew into your neighbors window. Darned kids.
"What is it Norma?"
"Shirleys coming down the road!"
"Is Senel with her?"
"Hurry up and lock the door!"
"She looks mad!"
"Moses! Get out here now! Were going to need help barricading the door!"
s-sure. Comin' Will!" He hesitantly replied as he finished
trying to tidy up the bathroom.
(AN: I should have mentioned this in the first chapter, Tenten-Shirley-and Colette are going to be majorly bashed throughout the story, just to warn you. Other characters will be minorly bashed, I dont pick favorites cuz I also do it to characters I like. The only characters I dont like are the main three and Kikyo. The rest I'm ok with. I eventually might add "Tales of the Abyss" characters.)