Part 3/3 "Naturally, we should go."
A black eyebrow rises above his thick glasses. "Wouldn't I?"
Our gazes meet steadily for several moments. I resignedly open the dorm door. "You would."
"Would what?" asks Peter.
Ignoring him, I tell James, "Fine, I'll do it."
"Do what?" Peter wonders.
"Wormtail," James says authoritatively, "come downstairs and play Chocolate Frog Cards with me."
He scratches his head. "Can't we play up here?"
"Without an audience?" The captain appears appalled.
"Sorry. Naturally, we should go." Peter grabs the box of cards the Marauders collect and share together and, trailing after James, closes the door.
"That was subtle," Remus notes, an ironic simper toying with the corners of the lips that I presume taste delicious. Maybe it's my own wishful thinking, but it seems that Remus' voice is as slow and sweet as flowing nectar when he speaks to me when we're alone. I guess it isn't too strange for people to have different voices when conversing with friends and addressing others one doesn't know well the way he does, however, to have a special voice just for a single person would mean something, right?
He puts a book he was reading on his bedside table that's covered with chocolate wrappers. Remus is propped up against red pillows causing tawny hair to spread around his head like a halo. He's got no clue how sensuous and tempting he looks. "What do you want to talk about that you couldn't talk about with Peter, too?"
"Punctuation?" I offer, sitting on the foot of his bed.
Remus is unconvinced, but plays along by doing a professor-like motion in steepling his fingers. "The misuse of a semicolon is -"
"Okay, enough." I grimace as if his teaching attempts wound my spirit. "I want to be straight with you."
"You can tell me anything." I almost laugh at the phrase of James-being-Remus coming from Remus' mouth.
"I know. I'm just…" I trail off. I'll confess that I'm gay and in love with my roommate and close mate, but I'm not admitting to being nervous. No way.
In a kind, coaxing tone, Remus guesses, "Nervous?"
Damn him and all his sexiness and compassion! "Maybe, but not a lot or anything. Just a little bit. Barely any at all, really." Very convincing, Padfoot.
"Don't be." His elegant, slim-fingered hand rests on my shoulder in what I hope is a more-than-friendly gesture. "I promise not to bite." He reevaluates this remark. "Well, unless it's a full moon…or if you ask me nicely." I nearly choke. Was he joking or flirting? I remember what James said about Remus feeling the same way and think that I could have a chance after all!
I might as well be direct. It's preferable to having James tell him. "I don't want to be straight with you."
Remus blinks; adorably confused. "I don't think I'm understanding you, Padfoot. Do you, or don't you, want to be honest with me? If you don't, I ought to tell you for future events that to deceive somebody it's better not to let them know you're being dishonest."
"No, that's not what I was getting at." My fists clench in frustration. James speculated correctly: I'm making an arse of myself. Suddenly, it hits me that I could be gripping something nicer and expressing my love without the confusion of words. I stretch my body across the bed. My hands are on either side of Remus' head and I'm hovering over his form.
"Sirius, what are you doing?" whispers Remus. His blue eyes have golden lights dancing in them. Gold represents the wolf. As far as I know the lupine half only shows itself when Remus is angry. Since he doesn't sound furious I can only assume he's experiencing another emotion, though supposing my life depended on it I wouldn't be able to figure out which one.
One of my hands lift and fingers thread through his hair. "I'm doing something I've wanted to do for a long time." Without further ado I lean down and kiss him. His lips are soft and, as I always suspected, he tastes like chocolate. He doesn't return my snog. In fact, he does not do anything. He's utterly still. Reluctantly, I remove my mouth from his lips and my digits from his locks. Now that the buss is over he regains the ability to move. His oxygen supply was cut off for less than ten seconds, yet he is gasping like he's run a mile and his entire body is trembling. "Moony, you all right?"
"As all right as someone who's been kissed by one of his best friends can be." He's trying to be as witty as he usually is. His words being breathless and shaky ruin the effect. He closes his eyes, which have become almost completely gold, and takes a few deep breathes to steady himself. He stares up at me and questions in a tone that's nearly as serene as his everyday self, "What was that about?"
"Actions don't speak louder than words with you," I sigh at the Marauder's Official Dictionary. "I love you. I don't know if you can call my love for you 'pure' since I want to do impure things to you, but, whether it's pure or not, it's genuine."
"Oh." Comprehension dawns on him. "You only meant straight as honest the first time. By saying 'I want to be straight with you. I don't want to be straight with you,' you intended to say, 'Truthfully, I want to have a homosexual relationship with you.' When I couldn't perceive that you kissed me."
"I know. I was here for all of that," I state impatiently. "Don't you have anything to say about any of this?"
Remus is silent for several heartbeats. "You were very forward, though that shouldn't surprise me."
"Forward? Is that all?" I have trouble speaking passed the lump that's forming in my throat. "It's okay if you don't love me as long as you promise not to feel guilty about it."
"Very forward," Remus repeats, his nectar voice low and tantalising. Green mixes with gold, a combination I've never previously seen in his eyes: mischief and that mysterious something. "I like that."
Does he mean…? Could he possibly…? Only one way to find out. "You're flushed and trapped beneath me. I like that."
He raises an eyebrow. More gracefully than James did before, I might add. "Trapped, am I?" Quick as lightening, he flips me and straddles my waist. He murmurs in my ear, "Don't forget who the alpha in the pack is, Sirius. Just because I love you doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. You'll have to work hard to get me to submit to you." Lust; that's what the gold is! Apparently, the wolf comes out when Remus is aroused. Who knew sweet, sensitive Moony had a dominant streak? In my fantasies about him I'm always on top, though it's so very hot to have the normally-reserved Prefect perched over me saying unexpectedly kinky things that I don't feel disappointed. At all.
"I don't mind working for things that I want." I wink suggestively and quip, "So, you love me, too? You're not just saying that to get me into your bed?"
"You're already in my bed." Remus rolls his orbs that are gaining back some of their blue, their humanness. "Of course I love you. I've loved you for -"
"Years?" I supply. When he nods I comment, "Let's not tell Prongs."
"Why not?" His beautiful, colour-changing eyes narrow. "You wouldn't want your closest friend to know you're involved with me?"
I reply quickly and honestly, "I want EVERYONE to know. Can't have anybody hitting on my Moony! You ought to wear a sign that says 'property of Sirius Black.'"
"Not for all the money in the world." Remus is smiling again. This is more like it.
Now that he's cheerful I put my arm around him and pull him further on top of me. Since I've gotten permission to touch him I can't get enough of it. "How about all of the chocolate in the world?"
He snuggles into me, a tender display at odds with the domineering animal side from moments earlier. It's nice that he can be both. "If you can get me that much chocolate I'll consider it."
"I'll do my best as long as we don't let Prongs know he was right about your feelings. Although. if he was right about the last part that'd be good…Better than good…" Talking aloud to myself isn't the smartest idea around someone as astute as Remus. Not that I'll admit to making a mistake, of course.
"What was the last part?" Remus attempts to act suspicious, but it's obvious he's merely curious.
"Nothing!" I say in a tone that is not far too loud. I can be tactful. Sort of. "Point is, we don't need him getting a bigger head then he's already got." Time to get the gold to return to his eyes. "Let's work on the size of your head instead."
Remus shows a mixture of disgust and amusement. "That's obnoxious. Is that your idea of romance?"
"Nope. This is." I lick the tip of my finger and wipe it on the front of his shirt. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes."
Remus bursts into laughter. I take a few seconds to appreciate how wonderful it is. Most people wouldn't find it either attractive or unattractive. They're idiots. They don't realise that, even though Remus smiles often, his laughter is rare and valuable. I do not simply love Remus; I value him also.
Once he calms down a list runs through my mind of the most effective ways to start snogging him. I'm extremely shocked and pleased when he kisses me. This is the first time he's willingly pressed against my lips and – call me dramatic – I think there ought to be clapping and fireworks and triumphant music. When he lets out a small moan I change my mind, for so much noise might've made it impossible for me to hear that sound.
Knowing that I can have such an effect on Remus, that he's happy and that it's me making him happy, makes me feel warm. No, I don't mean in temperature. My chest (My heart, to be technical.) feels warm. This is what it's like to be in love. Not that stupid, gooey, fuzzy thing that girls talk about that makes a person feel like they're dizzy or floating or something. No, love is simple, warm contentment. The kind of feeling you get from sitting in front of a gently crackling fireplace. The kind of feeling James was talking about. The kind of feeling that can never be wrong.
Minerva's Note: I usually make Sirius the dominant one in the relationship, so this scene was fun for me to write! Becuase this is the last chapter I know that you already want to review and I don't need to get my pocketwatch out...Right?