A month's worth of Frenzy's diary entries. Frenzy thinks Barricade is coming on to Blackout, Scorponok humps Barricade's leg, Starscream falls down the stairs, Bonecrusher does the Macarena, and more!

Rated for brief language and some sexual humor.

Things that would probably be helpful to know:

Celix is an OC. Had the idea for her for a while, just never really used her before now.

I don't know where alien robots got the knowledge for the Macarena and Slinkies. I honestly don't know. Don't ask me.

This makes mention of events in my other fic, "Annoyance".

I might add another part if I get enough reviews... Influence me...

Nothing in this fic belongs to me, with the sole exception of Celix.


Megatron- The big scary one

Starscream- The traitor

Blackout- The funny one

Barricade- The one that feeds me (Frenzy)

Bonecrusher- The angry one

Brawl- The stupid one

Scorponok- The cockroach

Day 1: Today the cockroach and I put a shrapnel grenade in the angry one's room. It was funny until the cockroach got caught. After seeing what the angry one did to him, I'm glad that I can run faster.

Day 2: Got bored and painted the stupid one pink. I don't think he likes me very much.

Day 3: The funny one paid me to spike the traitor's energon. It was hillarious! He kept stumbling around and knocking into things. Then he fell down the stairs. That was even funnier. The big scary guy says he might be out of commission for a while.

Day 4: I sat in the corner and stared at the wall all day. I think I freaked out the stupid one and the one that feeds me. That makes me happy.

Day 5: If you think sparklings make horrible noises now, you should hear them after you light them on fire.

Day 6: The traitor brought home another femmebot. I heard a lot of scary noises when I walked by his room.

Day 7: The funny one paid me to ask the one that feeds me where sparklings come from. He got all quiet and went offline. When he wakes up, I'm debating whether I should tell him I already know where they come from, or if I should ask him again instead.

Day 8: I think the one that feeds me floats both ways... He denies it, but I'm onto him...

Day 9: The traitor's femmebot came back today. I didn't realize it until I walked past his door. My audio receptors hate me now.

Day 10: The funny one gave me energon treats. I think I love him now.

Day 13: I haven't moved from this spot in three days.

Day 14: There's this femmebot a bit smaller than I am, and she wants me! I've been trying to avoid her, but she keeps finding me somehow! I think the stupid one keeps telling her where I am, and... Oh shit, that's her at the door!

Day 15: Nevermind what I said yesterday... I've decided that I like femmebots now.

Took a bit of persuasion, huh Frenzy?

Hey, stop writing in my diary!

I love you too, Sweetness! :)

Day 16: Rumble came to visit today. We stuck a magnet to the funny one's aft. It was fun watching him try to get it off. He should really consider a bulk reduction.

Day 17: I got bored and hacked the angry one's mainframe and made him do embarrassing stuff in front of everyone. With luck, it'll haunt him forever. The one that feeds me says that he was so angry afterwards that he beat up the stupid one and ripped out his interface cable. I'm glad it was him and not me.

Yeah, I'd hate for that to happen to you, too.

Celix, what did I tell you about writing in my diary?

Day 18: I ran under the traitor today and made him fall down the steps. The big scary one gave me an energon treat for it. Maybe he's not so scary after all. Nope... He's definitely still scary.

Day 19: I somehow convinced the cockroach that wrapping himself tightly around the funny one's vents and suffocating him when he's in recharge would get him attention. Then I convinced him to touch the traitor's femmebot in a place he shouldn't. Afterwards, I convinced him to interface with the one that feeds me's leg.

Why does he still listen to me?

Day 20: I still think the one that feeds me floats both ways. I've seen the way he looks at Blackout. Granted he looks bored, but I'm sure he's thinking otherwise!

Day 21: I stared at the stupid one until he got scared and paid me to leave. My plan worked.

Day 22: The angry one found my map of the facility's ventilation system, so I had to hack his mainframe and delete the knowledge from his memory banks before he told someone. While I was in there, I did a bit of reprogramming. He's been doing the Macarena in the lounge ever since.

Day 23: Apparently my fellow Decepticons didn't appreciate me announcing over the intercom that I'd just gotten laid while they were trying to recharge last night.

I could have told you that.

Quiet, Celix. When I want your opinion, I'll come rattle the bars of your cage!

Oh, that's it!

Ahh! I'm being molested!

Day 24: I fell going up the stairs today. One of my lifelong dreams finally came true. I can die a happy Frenzy, now.

Day 25: The traitor fell down the steps again. He must be part Slinkie or something.

Day 26: Gee, I wonder who it was that lubricated on the angry one's pillow...

Day 27: The funny one paid me to walk up to the angry one and hug his leg. Angry one's been rocking back and forth in the corner whimpering since then.

Day 28: I taught the cockroach some new words today. Wait until he repeats them in front of Blackout.

Day 29: Traitor fell down the stairs again. People really shouldn't leave their rubber balls on the steps where others can step on them and fall. Not that I'd know anything about that...

Day 30: I helped the cockroach get into the high grade and taught him an annoying new song. Spent the rest of the day hiding from his master...

Day 31: Soundwave called. He's coming to visit, and he's bringing Rumble, Lasorbeak, Buzzsaw, Ravage, and Ratbat with him. Coincidentally, not too long afterwards, the one that feeds me decided that he was going to be visiting one of his friends far, far away.