A Chibi Chibi Lemon II: Car Trouble
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by Esmerodo

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[GENTLE READERS: Do not read this until you've read my previous story, "A Chibi Chibi Lemon", otherwise, this story probably won't make much
sense to you. This is not a sequel, however, because the action in this fanfic, and in that story are all taking place at the same time--and episode. This fanfic, and the plot of its predecessor, "A ChiBi Chibi Lemon", are loosely based on Sailor Stars Episode # 184: Futarikiri no Yoru! Usagi no Pinch [Just the Two at Night! Usagi's Pinch /(^_~)\ ]
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SCENE: Outside Usagi's house. Haruka is sitting at the wheel of her
sportscar, Michiru sitting next to her.

Michiru looks over at Haruka, with an expression of ever-so-faint
disbelief on her calm, composed face. "So...still haven't found the
source of the trouble? Wanna try starting the engine again?"

Haruka, staring yearningly at Usagi's house, her face distracted,
does not reply for a moment, then coming to herself with a jerk,
clears her throat and answers, "Errrr...no, I think I need to let
the engine cool a while before trying it again. Ummmm...it's getting
cold out, isn't it?"

Michiru, that shrewd expression of disbelief still on her face,
proffers a thermos. "Here, have some coffee. Not that I think you
need any heating up, my dear."

"And what's THAT supposed to mean?" Haruka flares indignantly.

Michiru's lips curl with faint amusement. "Well, let's see. You
love that car more than you love ME. It's your baby, isn't it? But
tonight, all of a sudden, on the very night we hear that the VERY
Pretty Soldier Sailor is ALL ALONE ALL NIGHT in her house, you
mysteriously experience engine trouble, and the car breaks down,
RIGHT OUTSIDE USAGI'S HOUSE. What a coincidence, ne? I am much
better at tuning violins than tuning engines, but you know what I
think? I think your car has Odango trouble!"

For a moment, Haruka's face is frozen in a mixture of embarrassment
and guilt, and she can't seem to find a word to say. Then, she tosses
her head airily, "Hmmmph. That's just your suspicious mind talking,
Michiru. My sole concern is for the welfare and safety of our
Princess and our Galaxy and our mission to protect them, as always.
OF COURSE, I'm concerned about our Princess being all alone! What
would be more natural?"

[Besides, Haruka thought to herself, if the Enemy DOES decide to attack our Princess tonight, that Sailor Aluminum Siren is REALLY hot! Could I give HER some World Shaking!]

Suddenly, there is a distinctively Usagi-like screech from inside the
house. "Chibi Chibi!!"

Haruka points towards the house. "There! What did I tell you?
She's in trouble!"

"Sure she is," Michiru replies sarcastically. "In trouble from the
toddler terror, Chibi Chibi! Isn't it time you and I walked away, as
we usually do, unless our Princess is at death's door? Uranus and
Neptune are WAY too important Senshi to bother with anything short of
Armegeddon, ne? Didn't we agree on that?"

"Welll....." Haruka sighes reluctantly. "I COULD just have a quiet
peek and make sure all is well...."

"A quiet peek, huh?" The fish-eyed sideways glance Michiru gives
Haruka, shows how much she thinks of this idea.

At that moment, a masculine voice cries out, "Gomen nasai, Odango!"

Haruka's eyes blaze. "DAMN and DAMN and DAMN and DAMN! Seiya's
there."

Michiru pats Haruka's arm soothingly. "Never mind. Better luck next
time. If you keep getting car breakdowns EVERY night, I'm sure one
night, you'll catch her alone."

"If you think I'm leaving her alone with the likes of that--that---
Seiya, you have another think coming! I don't trust him as far as I
could throw him! And oh, would I like an excuse to throw him!"
Haruka stalks off towards Usagi's back window, hiding behind the
bushes to get a, well, a quiet peek.

Michiru shrugs, smiles indulgently, and follows Haruka in her Spying
Mission. After a few moments, Michiru whispers to Haruka, "Really,
my dear, don't you think it a little beneath us to gaze into Usagi's
shower stall?"

There's a cry from inside the bathroom, a hand fumbles blindly for
the faucet, then the shower curtain parts as the person inside
stumbles around.

"Oh....my....God!" Haruka's eyes are bulging out. "Seiya! Seiya's
a....GIRL!"

Michiru pats her arm again. "Now dear, don't get TOO excited.
Frankly, I don't think Seiya's Backstreet Boys rendition in female
voice is much improvement on that saccharine pop nightmare of his, I
mean, hers, 'Search For Your Love.' If music be your food of love,
Haruka, I could always do my violin concerto strip tease for you at
home, you know. In any case, I don't know why you're so surprised
about Seiya. Haruka, you, of all people, should know that clothes
don't make the man!"

Michiru begins tugging on Haruka's arm, but she is rooted to the
spot, drinking in the sight.

At that moment, Seiya reaches for the shower faucet, adjusts the
temperature...and his body is all man, again. "Oh, DAMN and DAMN and
DAMN and DAMN!!" Haruka sputters. She does not listen to Seiya's
bawdy song about young girls and what he'd like to do to them. She
looks utterly crestfallen, and turns away from the window.

Michiru tugs her arm again. "Come on, let's go home."

Haruka looks at her appealingly. "Can't we hang out on a tree branch
for a while?"

"Whatever turns you on, dear. I know you love playing voyeur in the
treetops. Anything to keep you happy. Come on then, up we go!" The
two transform to Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, and vault high
into a conveniently located tree, across the street from Usagi's
house.

After a few moments, the Ecchi Inner Senshi show up at Usagi's door.
Haruka pokes Michiru in the ribs. "See? I'm not the only one who
thinks we should check up on Usagi! Wait a minute...you don't think
that they...that they...have the hots for Odango too?" She looks at
Michiru in shock.

Michiru shakes her head vehemently. "What *I* think is that you've
read WAY too many lemons, if you think those girls have the hots for
Usagi." Uranus turns a guilty bright red.

The girls go inside the house. The suspense is killing Haruka, who
can't get a good view from her tree branch.

But all too soon, Chibi Chibi comes running out of the house, waving
aloft a bath towel, followed by a completely naked Seiya, followed by
a determined Usagi, followed by Rei, Minako, Makoto and Ami, bringing
up the rear as usual, pretending she's not all that interested in
Seiya's full frontal and rear views.

"Well, I never!" Haruka sputters. "Didn't I always say, those Inner
Senshi are far more interested in chasing men than in following their
True Mission!"

"What's truly pathetic," responds a contemptuous Michiru, "is that they're all chasing after the same man! But that just goes to show, that they aren't in a class with we Outer Senshi at all! They simply aren't worthy!"

"But never mind," Michiru continued, looking oddly pleased about the turn of events. "Let's go home, strolling ever so elegantly, as we do
so well. Leave the car here. And on the way home, you can decide
what my personal performance for you will be. It's your turn to
choose the lingerie!" Michiru smiles triumphantly, as a certain
gleam appears in Haruka's eyes.

"I get to pick the lingerie? What are we waiting for!"

[EXIT Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, striding most elegantly into
the sunset.]


THE END.

==============((===============================((@

This has been another twist of lemon from my twisted alter-ego,
Esmerodo. Who knows when her Strange Muse will appear again? I know
you weren't expecting this little bon-bon under your Christmas Tree,
but here it is!

I wish you all, a Steamy Christmas and an Anime-Filled 2001!

Sayonara!



Pandora-sama ~~~~((~~~((@ December 20, 2000
========================((===========================((@
Pandora Diane MacMillan of Crystal Toronto, Canada
ICQ: 3471229 Mamoru's Official Biographer /(^_~)\
See my Sailor Moon fan fiction at:
http://webhome.idirect.com/~pandora1sama
@))========================))===========================