Ooh, yes, another something that is totally all dialogue. Except I'm pretty sure that this will be a one shot, because I don't want to do another chaptered story on a whim slash review high, so yeah. But this is hopefully amusing and inspired a little by the various Liz/Jack 30 Rock fanfiction that I have been overdosing on (There is not enough of it on this site, seriously) and oddly enough, a combined shuffle of Sweeney Todd's Pirelli's Magical Elixir, the Beatles, the Dresden Dolls' Sorry Bunch, and Rasputina's Transylvanian Concubine, which is an odd mix but appeared to have worked. Anyways. This is rated M for implied themes and much innuendo (which I maybe specialize at?) but nothing actually written. Yeah. Enjoy? (Also, I am almost done with something that I am doing in shots or spurts, possibly, of 100, and much more serious than this.) Anyways. No question mark about it, enjoy.



"This is awkward, yeah."

"Right, you think that I don't realize that?"


"I mean, we did it. We. Did it."

"Repeating it is probably only going to make it worse."

"Okay, yeah. But-"

"Don't say it!"

"I won't. Jeez, calm down. I mean, I just… well, you know. With my teacher."

"Ex-teacher. And obviously that means I with my ex-student."

"Ugh, stop saying it."

"You started."

"I mean, you're fourteen years older than me. Fourteen."

"Thirteen and a half, actually."

"Oh yes, like six months will make me feel much better."

"Six months ago this would have been illegal in Wind Country."

"Did I tell you that you're not helping? And you know age of consent is sixteen for civilians and less for ninja, which sucks for Ino."

"Yes, but I was referring to Wind Country."

"We're in Fire."

"I know. I do generally know my approximate location."

"Goody for you."

"Sarcasm probably isn't going to help us much. You shouldn't use it as so much of a crutch, plus it's slightly discomfiting."

"Right. Your talking about the age of consent in Wind Country is weirder, I'll have you know. And this… situation… is uncomfortable enough as it is."


"'Cause like, you never woke up naked after a night of it with your ex-sensei, right?"

"Considering that my old teacher was male and Naruto's father, I think you'd be rather relieved to hear that no, I never did."

"Ooh yeah, that's totally weird."

"Besides, by the time I was eighteen and a half, I believe that you had just turned five and Naruto was a little younger, and so the Fourth Hokage was dead then."

"Right. You know that facts aren't my strongest point in the morning, especially when I have a really bad hangover."

"Yes, I do. The only thing that is a strong point of yours in the morning is being able to punch or throw kunai at enemy ninjas or a spying Naruto, both of which are a good thing."

"Uh, yeah. Right. Do you, like, want to get dressed and pretend that this never happened now?"

"I would, except you have a mirror right there and if I or you turn around we'll still be able to see more of each other naked and probably remember it this time."

"I'll close my eyes."

"Then you'll fall asleep."


"We have a debriefing at the Hokage Tower in fifty minutes."

"Shit. Dammit. Fuckeroo."

"Is that last one even a curse?"

"Yes, stupid."

"Sure, okay, whatever."

"Why can't you close your eyes?"

"Because I know that I'll fall asleep, because I still drank more shots last night than you did."

"Ah, right."


"This is really awkward. Awkward-er?"

"More awkward."

"I told you that you're not at your best in the mornings."

"I know that, dummy."

"I know how to make it less awkward."


"I'll show you."

"Oh no you don't--"

"See? Totally helped?"

"Making out with me did not help."

"Not even a little?"

"…okay, maybe just a little. Ish. But it's still sort of weird in here."

"Is that code for 'please kiss me again and this time grope me a little'?"

"No, but it could be."

"Right on, then."


"I know, I have totally great kissing slash snog the life out of you skills. But we have to report to the Hokage in thirty-eight minutes now."



"Let's just…"

"Just what?"

"Let's just, like, be late and to hell with the debriefing and her damned smirks."

"That is a good idea."

"I know. I think that I'm actually okay-ish in the morning."

"Uh, maybe. Lemme kiss you again."


"Oh, and by the way?"

"Eh, what, talking? Kissing would be much preferred."

"Yeah, one sec, I was just going to say that is becoming less awkward."


"And now I will kiss you. And possibly have sex with you again, but we're not drunk this time."

"Just hungover. And yes. That sounds like a good thing to start the morning with."

"Glad you agree."