Genre: Humor / General
Character: Yumichika Ayasegawa
Summary: The harder you try, the dumber you look.
Word Count: 506
Warnings: Shameless torture of all shinigami and their happenings in the human world.
Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach more things like this would happen. And the summery belong to despair .com.
A/N: Was watching the early episodes of Bleach the other day and it was the one where Rukia couldn't get that juice box open. So, I shall make all shinigami have drabbles where they are retarded about normal human-world stuff. But I need ideas, since I only know what I want to do for a few of them.
The fact that the shinigami and gifted humans had gathered in Inoue Orihime's house today, normally would have put a damper on Yumichika's day, but he had discovered a drawer in her bathroom full of the most interesting things.
"Hm, I wonder what this contraption does," he wondered out loud to himself. The small case was snapped open and he sneezed when some sort of powder flew into his face. Shaking his head, he tossed the compact over his shoulder and pulled out the next thing in the small bag. "Mascara," he read off the side of the tube. "Pull brush through lashes to achieve length and volume and beautiful eyelashes."
Unscrewing the top, he stared for a minute at the bristly brush, before shrugging and reaching up to pull it through his eyelashes. A creature as beautiful as him deserved even beautiful eyelashes.
Of course, his brief minute of staring at the mascara had caused the mascara to dry and the brush didn't pull through his lashes like they were supposed to.
"Ouch," he cried, when he accidentally yanked too hard. His eye clamped closed automatically the clumpy mascara on his lashes was shoved into his eye. "AIE!" He screamed, grabbing at his eyes. "It burns!"
The door to the bathroom slammed open and Orihime burst out laughing. "You're supposed to wipe off the extra first, silly."
Glaring up at her with one eye, he held the other tightly closed, not realizing he had mascara smeared like a black eye all around his other eye. "That," he growled, pointing at the tube he had thrown onto the counter, "is certainly not beautiful!"
A/N: Yeah, cause you know the minute Yumichika saw something that said, "be more beautiful with…" he'd freakin do it. And it would probably nor work out well.
And the mascara, yeah, cause it took me for freakin ever to master that stupid piece of hell-spawn. If I didn't have clumpy lashes, I was stabbing myself or blinking mascara into my eyes. Then your eyes tear and everything runs. Fan-tastic.
And I know there are no instructions on the sides of mascara tubes. At least there isn't on any of mine. But it would have taken too long to either give him a makeup book or have him figure out what to do with it himself.
Reviews! Even though this is craptastic crap!