Who Says You Can't Go Home?
It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter where you go
If it's a million miles aways or just a mile up the road
Take it in, take it with you when you go,
who says you can't go home
"Who Says You Can't Go Home?" By Bon Jovi
Dean approached the kitchen, and found that Missouri had already cleared the dishes and was in the process of hand washing them. Dean cursed the fact that Bobby didn't have a dishwasher.
"Boy, don't you be cussing." Missouri replied as he entered the kitchen. "Drying some dishes won't hurt you."
Dean rolled his eyes and picked up a dishrag. He reminded himself to watch what he thought around the psychic.
Missouri handed him a dinner plate and spoke. "So how is Sam doing? Did you get him settled in okay?"
Dean nodded as he took the plate. "Yeah, he pouted about being treated like a baby but let me tuck him in. He had a headache and I got him to take some Tylenol so maybe he'll get a good nap in."
"Yeah, I could sense the poor boy was wrung out. Glad you got him to take a nap without too much fuss. You know I thought Bobby and Ellen were going along with the nap idea to get Sam to go to bed, but they both laid down too." Missouri said with a smile.
Dean took the next plate and smiled back. "Yeah well, it has been a heck of a last few days. I'm exhausted and almost need a nap and I don't need sleep anymore."
"Yeah well, when we get done here, it wouldn't hurt you to have some down time. I know I'm going to take it easy for a bit." Missouri said as she handed Dean a glass to dry.
Dean took the glass and started drying. He was trying to figure out how to wheedle out of Missouri what she meant when she said Sam had some decisions to make about the future.
"Boy, just spit it out. If you wanted to know what I was going to say to Sam, all you had to do was ask." Missouri said as she started letting the water out of the sink.
"Sorry." Dean was at a loss as to what to say after being busted on his thoughts again.
"Just sit down boy, and we'll talk." Missouri said as she headed over to the kitchen table.
Dean joined her sitting across from her.
"Here's the deal Dean. That was some powerful evil that got out of the gate. They all know about Sam, he was supposed to be the second in command. That poor child is now going to be a target. Some will want to kill him, so that he won't be a threat. Others will want him to lead them." Missouri reached over to take Dean's hand. Dean could see that Missouri was afraid for his brother.
Dean knew that his face echoed the fear that Missouri felt. "What can we do?"
"Well, it's more like what that brother of yours can do. He has options. Sam is one powerful psychic and could still heal himself. I could help and then he could help Bobby and the others hunt this evil down. That boy could be on the frontline fighting and keep the evil at bay." Missouri stopped and waited for Dean to reply.
Dean looked at her thoughtfully, to be hunters again in some ways would be great, but Dean feared for Sam's safety now that the demons were after him.
"Is there another option?"
"Yes, he could come home with me, and I could teach him how to subdue his power so that the demons can't pick up on him. Right now, his brain is so scrambled it is hard for them to sense him, but with practice Sam could totally shield himself from their demon radar." Missouri gave Dean a reassuring smile and patted his hand as she withdrew hers.
"But then Sam wouldn't get normal, God I hate this." Dean said shifting his seat.
"Dean sweetie, it sucks but Sam will never have normal. That damn Demon made sure of that. But if he decided to come home with me, I would make sure that he did rehab and got to be as normal as his brain damaged mind will allow. And we have to realize that maybe once the demon threat is eliminated, Sam could then heal himself. I think the most important thing is to support Sam in whatever decision he makes."
Missouri's smile showed that she had faith, Dean just wished he did. It would be nice to think that the demon threat would one day be under control.
"It's going to be hard to let Sam make his own decision, but I'll support him whatever he decides." Dean returned Missouri's smile.
"Well honey, let's get some rest before the other's get up, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks Missouri for everything." Dean replied as he stood to go back to the guest room with Sam.
Sam awoke feeling better, his head wasn't pounding anymore. His body was stiff from the bruising he had suffered at the hands of the YED, but over all he was okay. He slowly sat up in bed and wasn't at all surprised to find Dean watching him from the other bed in the room.
"Hey kiddo, how ya feeling?" Dean asked as he turned to face Sam.
Sam smiled, it was nice to have Dean always watching out for him. "B-Better. M-My headaches g-gone, but I-I'm a little sore." Sam winced as he sat up in bed, his sore muscles letting themselves be known.
Dean shook his head. "I'd say you're more than a little sore, but you'll live. Are you hungry? 'Cause for the last hour, I've had to suffer through the smells of a pie being baked down stairs. I'm telling you Missouri is out to kill me." Dean said with a pout.
Sam rolled his eyes. "D-Dude your d-dead, so h-how can she k-kill you?"
Dean frowned. "Oh but Sammy, a man can die many kinds of deaths. Being dead sucks. So how about we get you to the kitchen so at least one Winchester can enjoy the pie."
"O-Okay. I-I want to t-talk to M-Missouri." Sam said as he slowly lowered his legs off the bed. Dean was quickly by his side helping him stand. "N-Not a b-baby."
Dean smiled and caught Sam's arm as he swayed from standing. "Whoa there kiddo, I know you're not a baby, but you're not a hundred percent yet either. So suck it up, 'cause I'm going to help you. It's what big brothers do and it's even more fun when it annoys you."
Sam smiled to himself. He hated being babied but he loved having his brother near him, so he would suck it up.
As they approached the kitchen, Sam spied Missouri sitting at the table with a coffee mug in hand. There was a cherry pie on the table cooling and Sam had to chuckle at his brother who was huffing about cherry being his favorite.
Missouri glanced up at them and smiled. "Hey boys, why don't you join me? Ellen and Bobby went to town for some supplies and by the time they get back the pie will be cool enough to eat."
Sam slowly lowered himself into the chair opposite Missouri and nodded. Dean sat next to him mumbling.
"Cool enough for those who can still eat!."
Missouri gave Dean a glare and then reached a hand across to Sam and took his hand into hers. "Baby did you get enough rest, you still look pale."
"I-I'm better. H-Headaches gone. J-Just sore." Sam wanted to skip the pleasantries and to discuss his future with Missouri.
Missouri nodded and smiled. "I know you're wanting to talk about more important stuff, but I just wanted to be sure you were up for it."
"I-I am. I p-promise." Sam said as he shifted in his seat. He was afraid of what was about to be said.
"Oh Baby, there is nothing to be worried about. Whatever you decided will be fine and we will all support you. Your safe with us, you know that right?" Missouri said with conviction in her voice.
Dean tensed beside him, and then nudged Sam's shoulder with his. "She's right kiddo, you're safe and whatever you decide, we're all behind you."
"S-So what d-do I need t-to decide?" Sam asked hesitantly.
"Well Sam, sweetie you know that at the Hell's Gate, a lot of demons escaped and they were all supposed to be part of an army lead by The Demon, and you were the intended second in command. Well those demons that escaped know that and some will want to hurt you because they see you as a threat and others still want you to lead them. Do you understand?" Missouri tightened her grip on Sam's hand.
What Missouri had said made sense but scared Sam. "I-I understand b-but what c-can I do?"
Sam felt Dean's arm go around the back of his chair, reminding him that he was there.
Missouri looked directly at Sam and gave him a reassuring smile. "Well, you could with my help heal yourself. Then you could be a fully functioning hunter again and take the offensive against this evil."
Sam's gut tightened. To be normal again and to hunt again were things that he wanted but at the same time they terrified him. He was afraid to use his tainted powers in order to heal.
"D-Do I h-have another o-option?" Sam asked as his grip tightened on Missouri's hand.
"Yes, you could stay as you are and I could teach you how to shield your powers so that the demons would have trouble finding and tracking you. Baby with your brain damaged like it is, the demons are already having trouble tracking you, and with training it should be near impossible for them to find you."
"B-But uh w-where would D-Dean and I g-go to hide from them? W-What could I-I do to b-be useful l-like this?" Sam's speech became more stuttered as he became upset and he felt tears welling up in his eyes, both choices were overwhelming to him.
Dean grasped his shoulder. "Sammy don't get upset. This is not the end of the world. We've faced worse and survived. Give Missouri a chance to lay everything out, so that it will make more sense. Okay?"
Sam took a calming breath and nodded. "O-Okay."
Missouri's thumb caressed the back of Sam's hand. "Baby, if you decided to stay as you are, you could come live with me. There is a rehab center nearby that could help you to get better and then help you find a job. I'd love to have you stay with me. I've been alone for too long. But, I want you to make the choice that works for you, not me so you keep that in mind."
Sam nodded thoughtfully. "D-Dean would b-be welcome?"
Missouri chuckled. "Sure he would and he could help me make some money at séances doing parlor tricks."
Sam grinned as Dean huffed next to him. "Whatever, being dead …."
"Boy you sound like a broken record." Missouri replied before Dean could finish his thought.
They sat in silence for a bit. Missouri withdrew her hand. "I'm going to refill my coffee cup, do you want some Sam?"
Sam nodded. "Y-Yes, Ma'am. T-Thank you."
Missouri quickly filled up her mug and then one for Sam and handed the mug to him as she sat back down at the table.
Sam knew in his heart what the right choice was for him. He was afraid of how Dean might react though. Normal was too scary for Sam, with the demon blood and his tainted powers looming over him. For him, it would make more sense to hide away and make as best a life as he could for himself. It was selfish, but in the end he didn't care because being a hunter had already taken too much.
He knew that Dean was a hunter and loved to hunt and wanted for Sam to be better. That was why making the latter choice was so hard, but he felt it was the right thing to do. He couldn't risk turning evil.
Sam cleared his throat and gained the attention of Dean and Missouri. "I-I know w-what I w-want to d-do. The D-Demon is d-dead but I-I s-still have his b-blood in m-me and m-my powers are t-tainted by h-him. So I-I don't w-want to use them t-to make myself b-better. Um, if you d-don't mind, I-I would like t-to live w-with you, M-Missouri." Sam sighed his emotions were running high, and he knew it made it hard for people to understand his speech. He needed to calm down.
Missouri nodded. "Of course Baby, as soon as you're up to traveling, I'll drive us back to Lawrence. But I don't want you to give up hope, because once Bobby and the other hunters take down this demon threat, you could use your powers to heal yourself then, okay?"
Dean nudged Sam. "She's right, and I think you made a brave and wise choice kiddo. It pains me to think I'll have to let another woman drive my car, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"Boy, I can still use a spoon on you!" Missouri exclaimed and Sam had to laugh at the expression on his brother's face. Sam was still afraid but with his brother and friends by his side he knew things would be okay.
The next few days flew by. Sam wasn't allowed to do much but he tried to help Bobby with preparations for fighting the demons as they came out of hiding. So far there hadn't been any demonic omens, but they all knew it was just a matter of time.
Every time Sam looked up it seemed Ellen was on the phone with another contact or the insurance company. She was intent on rebuilding The Roadhouse. They all agreed with her that a gathering place for hunters was still needed, especially with the war a coming. This time it would be more protected, Bobby was going to see to that. A demon trap at the door under the mat and other charms should at least keep most away.
Missouri continued to fuss over him, and that was driving Sam a bit batty but at the same time it was nice to have a female looking out for him.
The only thing that bothered him over the last few days was Dean. His big brother was withdrawn and quiet and Sam knew it was because he was itching to be part of the war against the demons.
Sam found him out back on the porch their last morning at Bobby's house.
"D-Dean, um I-I feel b-bad that I-I'm holding you b-back from helping B-Bobby. Maybe, I-I could go
w-with Missouri and you c-could catch up l-later." Sam said as he sat down next to his brother on the rickety bench that was on the porch.
"Don't be an idiot. Sure I'd like to help, but my place is by your side. I need to keep you safe, and if I can do that then I'm happy. Okay?" Dean smiled and patted Sam's thigh.
"O-Okay. But I-I told B-Bobby he n-needed to keep us in the l-loop. We c-can at least h-help with the r-research." Sam knew that his skills at research were no longer there, but he also knew his brother was a walking encyclopedia of the supernatural.
"Yeah, that's a good idea little bro. I told him that we could bail his ass out if he needed us and I offered him Dad's journal but he refused to take it- the old coot. " Dean gave Sam a smirk.
"S-So if he n-needs us were h-here." Dean nodded in agreement. Sam smiled. "H-He told me w-we could visit s-sometime when I get a b-break from r-rehab. So w-we'll be in touch."
"Yeah Sam, we will."
The next day it was hard to say goodbye to Bobby and Ellen, but Sam knew that they were family now and as such would be in touch. In fact they already had plans to help Ellen with construction on the new Roadhouse in a couple of months and Bobby promised to put hunting aside long enough to help with the construction too.
They loaded up the car, and Missouri insisted that Sam ride shot gun and not Dean.
"Boy, I'll kill you all over again if you are in my face the whole way home." Was what she had said as they started to get in the car.
Dean grumbled but settled in the back. Sam smiled. His life was far from normal, but he would settle for feeling loved and safe.
A/N: So don't hate me for not fixing Sam! The fact is, I don't think I'm done with this AU Sammy and Dean. I would really like this Sammy and Dean to be pulled into some of the things that happened in season three. What do you guys think? Would that be interesting?
I want to give a big thanks to everyone who has been reading and especially those of you who have reviewed! Your reviews make my day and make writing fun!
I also want to thank Floralia for all her ideas and help. She is a wonderful friend and definitely brings my writing up a notch.
My biggest thanks goes to my friend and beta, Sendintheclowns. Without her, I wouldn't be writing. It is with her encouragement that I move forward with each story and I adore her for it.
I have future projects. I've started writing an amnesia Sam story, called "I Remember You" and Sendintheclowns and I are still working on a sequel to Every Breath You Take.