A/N: Wrote this for a friend on another site, Leila's based on her. Also, in this story James has been in the real world for awhile, so any OOCness is 'cause he hasn't been subjected to the PotC universe in a while and has instead been in the real world...
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Pirates of the Caribbean
"I will not be subjected to this, Severus," Lucius Malfoy growled, striding purposefully across the room to stand toe to toe with Severus Snape, the Hogwarts potions master. "Especially not in my own house," he added as the other man opened his mouth to speak. Lucius smirked and tossed a stray strand of white-blonde hair over his shoulder as his eyes bore into Snape's.
"I am on orders-" Snape began, but Lucius quickly cut him off with a wave of his hand.
"Yes, of course, Severus," he said. "Orders from the Dark Lord to inform me of our current progress." He tapped his cane lightly against Snape's chest, his smirk turning, if possible, more sinister. "Isn't that always the way it is, Severus? You on orders, me already informed of that which you came to impart?"
Lucius watched as Snape's impassive mask slowly turned into a scowl, but he did not get to hear the other man's retort. In a whirl of wind and light which felt akin to traveling via floo-powder, Lucius found himself standing in a cluttered room. His arrival upset a stack of books, and as he turned to glare at them for intruding, he caught sight of a woman hunched over a Muggle contraption he believed was referred to as a 'computer'.
Her back was to him and it was obvious that she was intent on whatever she was doing. Careful to avoid the prior stack of offending books, Lucius moved slowly around the strange woman, taking in her long dark hair and the determined look on her face as it came into view.
He stopped moving when he could see her eyes, not wanting to draw her attention to him. He studied her, taking in the strange contraptions shoved into her ears and trailing to the computer. He took another, cautious, step forward, his eyes never leaving her, and another stack of books got in his way.
It toppled with a series of thuds, and the topmost book collided with the woman's ankle. She jumped, wrenched one of the contraptions from her ear, and looked down at the books. She followed them with her gaze and in a matter of moments she was staring into Lucius' face. He did his best to glower at her, though he found it difficult as he found himself struck by her beauty.
She blinked, tilted her head a little to the side, and cocked an eyebrow.
"Oh, god, not again," she muttered. Lucius' scowl turned into a look of confusion for a brief moment, but he quickly caught himself and straightened up.
"I demand you return me to my manor," he said, forcefully. "I was in the midst of a meeting that needs to be concluded."
The woman shook her head, a sheepish smile growing on her face.
"I can't," she said, "I don't know how."
"What do you mean you don't know how?" Lucius demanded. "You brought me here, did you not?" She nodded slowly, though Lucius could tell she was not convinced. She cleared her throat and put on a polite smile.
"I'm not really sure how that happened, either," she said. "I mean, it's not like it's the first time, but I still haven't-"
"Leila, darling, honestly we need to get more crisps," a voice announced, preceding the figure who stepped through the doorway, a bag of crisps in one hand as he ran his other through his mess of brown hair. Lucius took in the man's appearance without bothering to hide the sneer of disdain that twitched at his lip.
He wore a pair of obviously outdated pants, something Lucius remembered hearing described in stories about Muggle sailors from long ago. His coat matched, though it was undone, revealing his bare chest. As Lucius returned his gaze to the other man's, he was met with an angry glare.
"Hi, James," the woman, Leila, said in a quiet voice. She rolled her eyes at Lucius, a hint that she knew what came next.
"Leila, what's he doing here?" the man demanded. The woman coughed and gestured to her computer.
"I was writing about him, and he just kind of…," she said, trailing off at the end, shrugging her shoulders and pointing and Lucius.
"You have got to be kidding me, Leila!" James groaned, the crisps forgotten. "Honestly, if you keep this up you'll have nothing left to write."
"I haven't had any trouble writing about you," Leila retorted. James stared at her, his mouth open with halted words. Lucius glanced from the man to the woman and back, wondering what exactly was going on.
Slowly, his smirk returned to his lips. He'd figured it out.
"Is this some trick of the Dark Lord's?" he queried. "To test my loyalty?"
James turned his attention to the other man and stared at him, sizing his up, for a moment before he spoke.
"The 'Dark Lord'?" he asked, glancing at Leila for a brief moment before continuing. "Is that…some god? An ally of Calypso's perhaps?" Leila sighed audibly, drawing to her the attention of both men.
"James, the Dark Lord has nothing to do with you," she said, then turned to Lucius. "This isn't a trap or a trick or a test or anything like that, it's…well, I honestly have no idea what it is. It's only happened twice now," she concluded.
"What has 'only happened twice'?" Lucius queried sharply.
"Characters appearing in my house," Leila replied with a shrug, as though it were obvious. "First James," she said, pointing at the sailor; "then you," she returned her attention to Lucius.
"Really?" Lucius asked, stepping forward slowly and tapping his fingers lightly on his cane. "'Characters,' you say?"
"Watch it, you," James snapped. "That's my wife you're talking to!"
Lucius stopped and turned to James.
"Wife?" he asked, intrigued. "How long have you been here?" James shrugged, glancing pleadingly at Leila.
"Awhile," Leila stated. "Let's see, when did I start 'The Rise of Libertas'?"
"'The Rise of…' what?" Lucius asked, his eyes still on James.
"That's the story I was writing when James appeared."
"What are you writing now?"
Lucius turned to peer over Leila's shoulder at the computer screen, trying to remember what he'd heard about the objects so he could decipher what was on it. Leila, however, quickly put herself in between him and the screen.
"You can't read it," she said as he stood up again. "It isn't done yet."
"It was this story that caused me to be untimely ripped from my manor," Lucius said, his voice smooth and purposeful. "I believe I have a right to know what it is about."
"S'about your family after the war," James piped up. Leila glared at him.
"After what war?" Lucius queried.
"Dunno, never read the books," James replied. "And all Leila'll tell me is that it takes place after the war."
"What war?" Lucius asked again, this time to Leila. Leila sighed.
"The war with the Dark Lord," she muttered under her breath. Lucius grinned.
"Ah, you're writing about how prosperous my family becomes once the Dark Lord is in control of the Wizarding world?" he asked. Leila's face fell, and Lucius' followed. "We lose?!" he demanded. "How could we lose?!" Leila shrugged.
"That's how it's written," she said, pointing to the stack of books Lucius had toppled earlier. The book that had collided with Leila's foot now lay by Lucius and he gazed down at the cover.
"'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows'," he read. "They're books?" he asked, looking up again. "About that…brat, Potter?" Leila nodded.
Lucius stepped back, the back of his knees colliding with a chair. He sank down, shaking his head in shock. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into James' face.
"It's all right," James said. "It took me awhile, too."
"Awhile…," he muttered, staring at the books at his feet.