Disclaimer: Neither of us owns Twilight; if we did we wouldn't be writing fan fiction now would we? :)

This is written by school.needs to go and myself-enjoy and please review and let us know what you think!

A BIG BIG thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter! :o)


Chapter Two

Emmett's P.O.V

Today was wonderful; I still can't believe that I managed to get that Mike kid good-I'm totally Edward and Bella's hero for that (well after the beats from Edward)-I also had to get him back for the many times that he has hit on my Rose I mean come on it's really gross the way that he spends his time drooling over both her and Bella-he had it coming. But tonight I was on a mission; tonight I was going to pay back Lauren Mallory for all the cheap moves that she'd tried to play on us Cullen guys, Edward should be worshiping me for these schemes, or at least helping me out.

I was totally thrilled for this night of pranks Jasper and Edward are going to be totally peeved that they didn't join in the game when they had the chance too-it looked like I was going to have to do this all alone. Rosalie had gone hunting with both Carlisle and Esme so she was unavailable and both Edward and Jasper had prohibited me from involving Alice and Bella (spoil sports).

Edward had thought that it best that I keep his clumsy human lover out of this because she needed sleep and we all know the other reason; because he's over-protective-no-fun-whatsoever-prude-Edward and Jasper had done so just because he wanted some alone time with Alice (I swear that those two are worse then both Rosalie and myself). Oh this prank would have been so much more fun with hyper Alice and clumsy Bella, I grinned thinking of all the mischief that we could have gotten up to.

Focus Emmett, I scolded myself I was here on a mission-to prank the 'scum' of forks high. I rustled as quietly as I could through the bush getting a great view of my target's window alone with being safely hidden from passers by and any other unwanted audiences. I started to rise folding into a crouch preparing to 'pounce' (so to speak) on my target when someone grabbed me from behind.

"You didn't think that you were going to leave us out of this did you?" Alice spoke in a hushed squeal "This looks like the most fun that anyone in this family has had for weeks and we want in!"

"We?" I asked confused, so far all I had seen was Alice but of course there was someone behind her; Alice wouldn't be that loud.

"Yes-we" Bella responded looking at me as if I was an idiot; not knowing that she too was standing there.

This made me completely ecstatic my two favourite pranksters were here (well it was only because of Alice's hyperness and Bella's clumsiness) this was going to be totally awesome!

"Sorry Bella-I didn't hear you coming-normally there is a huge crash, followed by an increasing heart rate-and had I seen you the additional blush that makes every clumsy Bella moment highly entertaining and unique" I chuckled; I could tell that Bella was unimpressed when she sent me a 'death glare' that wouldn't have even bothered me if I wasn't an immortal vampire with super strength, speed, grace, hearing, etc.

"So are we going to get on with this prank or not?" She huffed.

"Of course!" I replied sounding mock indignant "Although if Jasper or Edward find out-"

"They'll deal with us" Alice cut me off, I gave her a thankful smile-I truly couldn't take on both of them at once (although I'd like to think that I could)-Edward gets so moody a lot of the time I would have sworn that he was a woman.

"Talking about trouble and keeping this a secret-Bella, how did you stop Edward from coming over to yours tonight?" I asked intrigued by how Edward would have been kept away.

Bella blushed "Let's just say that I told him I needed to be alone tonight due to 'girl problems'" oooh, quickly Emmett drop the subject, do not want to know-do not want to know-do not want to know I chanted over and over until Bella was done talking.

"What are we going to do then?" Bella asked, breaking me away from my chanting and back into ideas of the plan-wow I wonder how long I was sitting their chanting for…ooops.

Down to business Emmett, this had to be good-it was no secret that Bella hated Lauren as much as us Cullen's-possibly more. This was going to be horribly entertaining; if there was a possibility of us getting into trouble for this later we might as well make it something worth while. The Plans in my mind were running wild.

"That's incredible! I love that one!" Alice squealed excitedly turning her stare on Bella-wow who knew that Bella was so devious.

"What's the plan?" I asked feeling my evil genius smile creep across my face-cue the laughter.

Laurens P.O.V

"Kiss me Lauren" Edward commanded in his sexy smooth voice, I more than willingly obliged-Hey, It wasn't every day that a Greek God asked you to kiss him-I wasn't going to turn down such beauty.

I ran my hands through his wonderful, untidy bronze hair, clinging to him tightly-the taste was out of this world nothing could compare I'd choose kissing Edward than eating chocolate any day.

After a while I reluctantly pulled myself off of Edward for air (and lots of it) we were both gasping heavily. Just as I had gained enough oxygen to resume the kiss Edward's perfect features started to melt away and in his place was standing Eric Yorkie…I filled my lungs up with air and screamed my hardest…

"Lauren, princess are you alright?!" My father asked frantically, rushing into my room "I thought that you were being murdered or something" He looked hopeful but when he saw that no one was standing over me with any type of weapon or anything that could harm me his face dropped into an expression of remorse. It was no secret that my dad hated me and wanted me gone-he was trying his hardest to push me out of the door to college already.

"Bad dream" I told him icily, not that he cared-I just wished that mother was still around to take care of me but she had died when I was ten leaving me alone in this house with my father and every play-girl he can get his grubby hands on, the girl he was dating at the moment-Debbie-must have been about five years older than me; everyone but my dad could see that she was just out for his money and nothing more.

My dad, sullenly, exited my room to go back to whatever he was doing before I so 'rudely' interrupted him. I dropped my head back onto my pillow leaving me to think about my dream guy (who I call Edward Cullen), in no time I feel back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

The heck is that? Who was playing such bad music this early in the morning? I put my head under my pillow trying to drown out the irritating scratching sounds that were coming from my phone speakers which had sounded an awful lot like a dying cat out in a thunderstorm; it was totally barbaric singing and unbearable.

Hold on…my phone speakers?! My phone was playing that garbage?! Oh gosh.

But that wasn't it after that screeching chorus it changed to another barely recognisable shriek-whoever did this was going to pay big time.

Will.I.Am
It's funny how a man only thinks about the...
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking at your...
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...
PCD
I don't give a...
Keep looking at my...
'Cause it don't mean a thang if you're looking at my...
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha
Will.I.Am
Boomp-boomp, Omp-omp
Boomp, boomp-boomp
Boomp-boomp, Omp-omp
Boomp, boomp-boomp
RepeatedPCD
Ooh, you've got it bad I can tell
You want it bad, but oh well
Dude, what you got for me
Is something I
Something I don't need
Hey!

These people had no talent whatsoever, all I could tell that there was either two or three of them-it sounded awfully like one male and two females but it was hard to be sure the squeals sounded very much the same throughout…what I didn't get though was why they had the obviously more masculine of the three sing the part of the pussycat dolls unless someone was trying desperately to get on my bad side.

So now (hopefully all of that bad alarm tune was finished) I could finally get up and ready for school, I took a glance at the clock on my phone only to see the time that was displayed was '2am' I had no idea how that could have been right I had purposely, and was sure that I had, set my alarm for 8am-what was going on here?!

Suddenly the 'Barbie girl' ring tune started playing on my phone; well at least they hadn't gotten to that…well that was until I heard the lyrics…

Ken
Wanna go for a ride?

Barbie
Sure, Ken!

Ken
Well, forget it!

Barbie
I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl
Sad I have it, I should bag it
Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation

Ken
You're so ugly
You disgust me

Barbie
I'm a bland homely girl
All alone in the world
I'm as flat as a board
Thin and leggy,

Ken
You're a dog, and a troll
Were you hit by a train?
Don't go near you
'Cause your breath is skanky

Barbie
Don't get touched
I'm afraid
'Cause guys say
I'm an eyesore

Boo hoo!

I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl
Sad I have it, I should bag it
Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair
I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation

Ken
You're so ugly
You disgust me

Barbie
Boo hoo, hoo, yeah

Ken
You're so ugly
You disgust me

Barbie
Boo hoo! Boo hoo!

Oh, let's go out and have some fun!

Ken
I'm sorry, but you're too damn ugly!

(Barbie)
Oh screw you Ken!

Whoever did this to me was so dead: well at least on the plus side I got to change this all before I got into school-how embarrassing. I looked at the caller I:D and nearly fainted when I saw the name: 'Edward Cullen' (I just knew that he'd come around and realise that he loved me much more than that skank Bella Swan). Although-why was he calling so early in the morning? Hmm, well maybe he had an epiphany when he was dreaming of me; I tried to think of a cool way to answer the phone this early in the morning without sounding too relieved or desperate.

"EDWARD!" I found my voice squealing-great; traitorous voice.

The voice on the other side of the line started booming in laughter "You were right Alice that was a fun response" I growled-That wasn't my Edward.

"Could you give Edward back his phone please?" I more demanded then requested "I believe that he has something that he wants to tell me." With that the laughing just became harder; I couldn't believe my ears-Edward's family could be so rude. I hung up on them, Edward would call back when he got his phone back there was no rush at least he knew now that he loved me and not that Swan girl.

About five minutes later that terrible ring tune went off again, why didn't I change it back?! And once again Edward's name flashed up on the screen of my phone.

"Great! You got your phone back" I said enthusiastically

He chuckled "Yes, I had a hard time with Emmett and Jasper but I got them back"

"Oh good. So I believe that there was something that you wanted to tell me earlier?" I asked trying to get him straight to the point as to why he called me so early in the morning.

"Oh, no reason" he mumbled "I just wanted to hear your voice, I missed it." Aw so cute, he sounded really shy/nervous-was I imagining the slight humour in the voice?

"Well, here it is" I giggled nervously; I'm sure every other girl in the school would have too if they have THE Edward Cullen calling them at 2am in the morning because he 'wanted to hear your voice'.

"Yes, there it is-Sorry I couldn't work out before the phone call if it was you or a Troll; maybe I should let you get some sleep and call back later when your voice is less manly?" He told me, how rude-but it was Edward Cullen I'd forgive him for that.

"Uh…sure…I'm sorry" I apologised…why was I the one apologising? The guy basically called me a troll-oh yeh it was Edward Cullen I sighed.

And with that he hung up on me-just like that! Hung up on me! Lauren Mallory! But I loved him; he could do whatever he wanted.

I figured that it was too early to start preparing for school but I was too excited to sleep now-Edward Cullen was in love with me and was going to ring me back!! I figured that I'd go and have a shower (just in-case he decided on a whim to come over and see me I had to be looking my best). As I went to my adjoined bathroom to take a shower I got more then I bargained for a bucket filled with ice cold water came toppling down from the top of my door onto my head; I feel to the ground and suddenly everything went black.

"'E' you idiot! You could have killed her with that bucket!" A melodic voice sounded, it was absolutely beautiful-actually sounded a lot like one of Edward's siblings…maybe Edward found me passed out on my bedroom floor and decided to take me back to his place where he knew I'd be safer and he could keep a close eye on me.

"I didn't know that the ice still wouldn't have melted by the time she went to take a shower."

"You shouldn't have used such a large lump of ice then" Huffed the beautiful voice, no one that sounded that perfect should be so angry.

"E-E-Edward?" I stuttered, trying to find my voice.

"Oh crap!! She's waking up 'A' why didn't you tell me that she was going to be up soon? Clearly you could have seen that." Roared the voice; suddenly all I could hear was silent whispers…or was it the wind? Gosh maybe I did hit my head hard.

"Hey, love" Said the beautiful harmonious voice of non-other than Edward Cullen "I love you! Come back to us soon…I can't believe that you've been in this coma for more than six months now; I've not had my chance to tell you that I'm irresistibly and irrevocably in love with you." He sounded pained, hold up-Coma?! Why was I in a coma?! Six months?! This was bad-this was very bad…but Edward Cullen loved me-everything would be perfect. I sighed in happiness and rolled over trying to open up my eyes, at first everything was black and then dots of colour started un-clouding my blindness bringing in the features of my room, my room-if I was in a coma wouldn't I at least have been in the hospital? Where was Edward? The other voices I had heard? Was I loosing my mind? I couldn't take this anymore, Edward Cullen had to love me, he just HAD to. I sorted everything out for school and for the remainder of the morning I had heard nothing from Edward so I decided that I was going to talk to him at lunch.

Emmett's P.O.V Lunch time

Last nights prank didn't go all that smoothly-I shouldn't have put in that block of ice to melt but I thought that it would have been colder when she finally decided to go and shower…but the Lauren blacking out had added extra to our prank, I thought that I had imitated Edward's voice pretty good, perhaps too well I possibly shouldn't have been so convincing Edward was going to have problems today I snickered to myself-damn Emmett think of something else he's looking at you funny. 'Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow.' Okay, his attention is diverted-possibly to trying to read Alice's mind to see what the heck is going on she had promised me that she was going to translate the whole of the English dictionary and it's definitions into French until Edward had found out what is going to happen, I really hope that Lauren doesn't come ove-'Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went. Everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go.' Stop thinking Emmett, he can't find out.

"Hey Eddie!" screeched the appalling nasal voice of none other than Lauren Mallory, oh boy was I in for it now.

"Um, hi" Edward answered rudely keeping his eyes on Bella, he let out a growl just low enough for us vampires to hear and told us just as quietly that he was going to 'butcher' Alice and I after school; how he guessed that Alice was involved was beyond me I just hoped that he didn't know that Bella was involved or that he was listening to my thoughts. It followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day, it followed her to school one day, which was against the rules who on earth made up the lyrics to that song anyway? Their minds must have been totally unstable.

"So…you didn't call me back again" she pouted which made me want to gag, did she seriously think that that was cute in anyway whatsoever-I guess she did. I burst out laughing at the confused look on Edward's face and neither Bella nor Alice could hold it in any longer either causing the whole of the cafeteria to give us weird looks questioning our sanity.

"S-sorry Edward stuttered" but instead of listening to Laurens response I was sure that he was searching through Alice's and my mind learning what we did, sending a low growl to rip from his chest again.

"…and you told me that you loved me" Lauren concluded after her long rant of what had happened to her the night before, minus the ice 'water' bucket.

"I'm so sorry Lauren but I love Bella-and I have no idea who had played these nasty pranks on you but I'll be certain to get to the bottom of this." He apologised.

Lauren's eyes swelled up with water and it looked like she was going to explode into tears in the middle of the cafeteria but instead she burst out of the cafeteria hiding her face behind her hair so that no one could see the hurt expression that was clearly visible on her face, I felt bad-but not bad enough, maybe now she'll leave us alone once and for all.

"Bella, love, you look tired this morning" Edward observed "Out late last night?" The last part of the statement he turned in my direction and sent me a glare, Bella stiffened (a trait that she had picked up from Edward no doubt) and her trade mark blush crept across her face. "Care to explain why Bella joined you and Alice on your prank night?" Edward growled.

"Easily" Alice shrugged it off "I was passing through just dropping off an outfit and saw the vision of Emmett's pranking and we both wanted to join in, so we went"

"You must admit it was a great prank" I chuckled. Jasper leant across the table to give me a high five.

"Nice" he grinned

"When Rosalie comes back from her camping trip I'm going to explain to her what her husband has been up to" Edward hissed.

I just shrugged "I'm sure everyone should know it was me so I can be congratulated for my genius idea I guess."

"Go team Belalmett!" I chortled and raised my fist to Alice and Bella which they punched back.

"Yeh Edward, you should be proud of your Bella for coming up with that cool team name" Alice giggled

"Very creative" Edward cooed and kissed Bella gently on the lips. He really was a sucker for that girl; I could do whatever I wanted so much as she was around I started planning evil schemes of what I could do.

"And don't you even think about it" Edward laughed "I won't be that easy going if you involved Bella in something like that." Damn him always one step ahead of me , stupid mind reader, Edward started chuckling at me I'll have to plan these things when I'm not around him…who's next on my list of pranks?


I made a song remix for y'al :) hope you like! lol.

I saw you sliding out your car.
I saw you running out the backdoor, baby.
Don't even try a do a crime this time, its fine. Edward, you're too
divine.

You won't love me at all, but I know that it's Bella that you call.
You're a fast-moving Volvo driver, vampire, but you're...
You're so damn hot.

So now you're headed to your Volvo.
You say you're off to see a vampire, sweetie.

But Edward look at how you're dressed. Your best suggests

You're off to see that pest.

You won't love me at all, but I know that it's Bella that you call.
You're a fast-moving Volvo driver, vampire, but you're...
You're so damn hot.

So who's this Bella girl you've got?

Why don't you love me yet protect her, sugar?
I could have swore you said before, "No more, for sure." What'd I
believe you for?

You won't love me at all, but I know that it's Bella that you call.
You're a fast-moving Volvo driver, vampire, but you're...
You're so damn hot.

and please review! :o) your great!