I don't like this fic. I wrote it at 3am, so don't blame me that it sucks.

A bit OTT, it'll never happen, but here it is.

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She sat on her couch staring at the bottle of pills that sat on the coffee table in front of her. There was no going back now. She made sure the letters she had written would be found by the right people.

Her life had gotten to a point where she could hardly get herself out of bed in the mornings. She hated her life, she hated herself. She just couldn't go on.

She picked up the bottle of pills and swallowed each and every one of them. The world around her slowly became black and Ziva David lived no more.

They all found their letters. They all reacted differently.


It has been an honor working with you. You have been a good friend to me and I hope you will understand that this is something I had to do.

I know you will be disappointed at me, there's no excuse as too what I have done to myself, but I am in a happier place.

As I will not be there to be head slapped I can say this. Forget the history, forget everything. Go to Jenny. It's painfully obvious that you two are meant to be. Marry her. Don't make her ex-wife number 4. Stay with her.

Slow down on your coffee intake. I read somewhere that if you have to many in one day, your heart will stop. Can you imagine? Death by Coffee?

I would say I'm sorry, but it is a sign of weakness, but I truly am.

I'm sorry for causing the team the pain of losing another.

I'm sorry.



Gibbs went straight to Jenny's and found her crying clutching her own letter. They cried together until they fell asleep in each others arms.


You and I did not get off to a good start. To you I was Kate's replacement. But I am glad we became friends. I got use to getting hugs from you. Please don't cry when you find out I am gone, just remember the good.

Give McGee a chance. I can see that you truly love him. And you and I both know he loves you.

I'm sorry.

Keep smiling, be happy, keep hugging and slow down on the Caf Pow! Intake.

I'm sorry



Abby went straight to Ziva's apartment to see if it was just some cruel, sick joke. She was the one who found Ziva's body. She has never been the same since.


Don't let Tony push you around. You know that he never means what he says. To him you are his brother. Remember that.

You know, maybe you were right with Tommy and Lisa. I just wish that I realized sooner like in your book.

You and Abby belong together. Although you may think she doesn't love you that way, she does.

You will one day have your own team. You know you will, you are a great agent. Never question that.

I'm sorry.

Keep writing.



McGee ended up writing only one more book. He dedicated it to Ziva and the other team member who had died shortly after her. He and Abby did end up together. They never fully understood why Ziva took her own life.


You have always been a great friend. Though we met under bad circumstances we have stayed close friends and I am glad at that.

Know that what I have done to myself was nobodies fault but my own. I just couldn't go on.

You should give Gibbs another chance.

I'm sorry.

Director Jenny Gibbs..



She did eventually become Director Gibbs, she never did tell Gibbs what happened in Cairo, but he knows that Ziva had saved her life. Jenny had made sure no one ever sat at Ziva's desk. Everyone refused to move anything from it. On her desk now sat one Black Rose from Abby, A white Rose from McGee, a Red Rose from Gibbs.


I know you will be doing my autopsy and I know how hard it will be for you. As it must have been for you to do Kate's.

I enjoyed listening to your stories. I looked forward to hearing them whenever we were with you.

Do you remember that night we all went out for drinks and you made that comment about me and Tony? You were right. I wish I could have told him sooner, but there is no point dwelling on the past.

I'm sorry,

Keep telling your stories.



He did the autopsy. Finding that she had an overdose on pills and her heart had stopped. Even though he still told his stories, he didn't tell them with as much enthusiasm or as often as he used to.


I thought about not writing you this letter. It would have been too hard. It is too hard. But even so, you deserve to have my final goodbye. You, out of all the team, are the one that I have the most important thing to tell.

I know I should have told you sooner but, I love you.

I think I realized when we went undercover (I know that was not your knee), when I left the room when you were alone with that man I thought what would happen if he had killed you, that is when I realized.

I have something to tell you, Ari was my brother and I killed him. he was not the brother I knew. He turned into a monster.

Though on the outside I looked like a strong woman, inside I was slowly dieing. I hated myself.

I know that you may never get over what has happened. But just remember that I was unhappy and now I'm not. That I am with my family, my sister, my mother. Who knows, maybe I'll meet Kate

Do you remember when we were in the shipping crate and you made that comment about my father? The day he killed my mother was the day my life begun to slink…no spiral down. That would have been not long after our undercover mission.

You are the reason I have lasted this long, I came to work everyday just to see you. You and McGee and Abby and Gibbs and Ducky and Jenny all of you, I can remember all the great times with you all. Those would be some of the happiest times of my life.

I'm sorry,

I love you.

Keep being…you.


Love Ziva.

p.s. Thanks for the memories.

Tony got drunk and confessed to Gibbs in his basement that he had always loved her. All the while his gun hung loosely in his right hand, Ziva's star of David necklace and the letter in his left. He had told Gibbs that he had nothing else to live for. Putting the gun to his head he said too Gibbs 'I'm sorry Dad'

McGee's last book was a best seller. The fans would never know the real pain behind it.

Thom E. Gemcity


The final adventure of L.J Tibbs.

In memory of Ziva and Tony;

The real Lisa and Tommy.

The End.