´╗┐DISCLAIMER: OK Revy, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air after our first ff so let's get to Chapter 1 of this one without further preamble:-


Chapter 1

'Creature From the Black Lagoon' or 'The Angels Meet Revy Roberts'

Facing the rows of folding chairs in the gigantic amphitheatre in front of them Rock was as scared as Hell! His compadre, however, was as cool as a cucumber while she stood beside Rock, a cheroot clamped tightly betwixt her teeth. She smoked steadily directly beneath the 'No Smoking Onegai' sign on the wall. Rock tapped Revy's shoulder (Her real name was Rebecca Roberts but Kami help anyone who called this gal anything but Revy!) and pointed at the sign. Revy shrugged her shoulders and blew a smoke ring into the kid's face.

Both were on loan (temporarily) from the 'Black Lagoon' company in Roanispur back on Terran Thailand. BL was an organisation of hired killers. These two had been 'volunteered' by their boss Dutch to teach the new 'UG' and 3WA recruits here at the 3WA Academy in Furool (Foo-Lon) City on Shimougou in the Aquarian Galaxy. Oro were they teaching them?

For Rock it was proper reporting techniques a la their paperwork. In other words- how to do reports on your PDO (Personal Data Organizer). A 'PDO' was sorta like an ancient Terran cell phone/computer, however, unlike a cellphone a PDO also contained a vidcell phone unit, a medical tricorder, a computer, a local communicator, a word processor unit, several weapons, a homing beacon, a flashlamp, a tiny laser beam, a replicator unit (to make anything you shimatta well fancied!) and numerous other devices!

For Revy (who had not read her 3WA orders) well she hoped someone was gonna tell her damned Fxxxing soon oro the jigoku she was doing here or was she just babysitting Rock's ass again? Revy was in fact an expert with all sorts of firearms and was there to teach marksmanship and martial arts to the cadets.

"Who the Fxxx is that stupid looking bitch up front I wonder?" whispered Rio Delcroix to her seatmate Marina Oki. Rio was a cadet/trainee just starting her advanced training today as was Marina, however, where Rio was an ensign Marina was already a suba or a subaltern in the 3WA.

"Shut the Hell up, Rio! If she hears us she'll sure as Fxxx come over here and she don't look like someone I'd wanna mess with or meet in a dark alley even in the daytime man!" replied Marina in a mono-whisper.

"She's Revy Roberts from Terra, love. She's here to teach marksmanship and martial arts to you. And her nickname's the 'Creature from the Black Lagoon', Rio honey. Her name's really Rebecca but if ya say that to her it's like calling the boss Katie!" answered Legato Bluesummers the big tall BetaZoid captain from the planet of 'Gunsmoke'. Believe it or not he was also a cadet/trainee albeit he already as a captain outranked most of the instructors there.

"Who's the cutey pie next to the Terran Terror?" asked Rio and Blue chuckled.

"Rock Obajime. He's Revy's partner and he's here to teach us all how to write 'proper' reports on our PDOs. I think Revy's his bodyguard while he's here or something. He's a merc (mercenary) with the same group Revy's with but the guy won't carry a weapon and will not kill! Glorious company he's landed in eh? Take it easy kiddies. I think I just saw an old tomo- named Tomah Jordan. Ja mata for now." said Bluesummers and he wandered over to talk to a tall skinny guy wearing owlish spectacles circa a few hundred years ago. He stood next to a younger girl in a 3WA hotpants uniform with a sash reading trainee/acting ensign across her chest.

"Legato? How nice to see you." she said and he nodded at the blonde.

"Oh hi Edna. You're looking quite spiffy in that outfit." replied Bluesummers. The tall skinny dude blinked myopically and smiled.

"Konnichi wa, Blue. Haven't seen you for an inu's age man. I'm here to give Edna (his sister Edna Jordan) moral support on her first day of advanced training. Then tomorrow I have to start teaching computer logistics to the seniors in the building next door. How ya been?" said Tomah Jordan who was the resident 3WA/'UG' ("United Galactica Federation of Galaxies') computer logistics and programming expert.

"Just fine, Tomah. By the way have ya seen Lee Chan around today?" asked Blue.

"Nai. He doesn't start teaching (martial arts and yoga) until ashita no yobi (the day after tomorrow). Hope he doesn't try to pick up that dark-haired babe with the kid over there." said Tomah, pointing towards Revy Roberts and Rock Obajime.

"Amen to that pal. She's one tough bitch. See ya later, tomo watashi." replied Blue before heading for the snack tables.

"How come we gotta be here today, Mar?" demanded Kome Sawaguchi in a whisper. She (an ensign) and Lt. Marlene Angel were standing against the back wall of the amphitheatre with arms folded across their chests. Mar shrugged her shoulders at the strawberry blonde teenager.

"Beats me, kiddo. Guess two of those recruits are gonna be ours someday and they wanted us to get a look at them. Wow! That Revy Roberts looks madder than the boss usually does, don't she?" whispered the blonde navigator/sometimes pilot.

A slight short gentleman with kindly grey aizu smiled at them all and stepped onto the dais in front of the class. "May I have your attention please--" he began but the general hubbub soon drowned him out until--

"Shut the Hell up! Mr. Galadriel has something to say to you blasted yay-hoos so pay attention goddammit!" roared Donald Poporo, Unit 9's sector chief. You could have heard a pin drop on the surface of 'Dantoonine' which was several hundred lightyears distant! The shorter gent tried again.

"I am Vittorio Francisco Galadriel, Commander-in-Chief of 'UG' and the 3WA, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you to this briefing session for you young cadets and trainees. I already know a great many of you having met you after our last er incident that our 3WA forces were involved with. For the rest of you I usually allow Andy Gooley my Aquarian Galactic Chief to run things. I'd jsut like to say that we have gone out of our way this time around to get you the very finest of instructors we could possibly locate to teach you your advanced subjects. Yes even paperwork is on our curriculum this semester. Without further ado let me hand the floor over to Mr. Poporo who will give you all the latest news about your training. Have a nice day and hoop-a-dooble-doo." said Galadriel and he immediately left the podium.

"OK hazu- listen up! You've all advanced to he next level of your training with us. That's 'cause you've mastered the 'basics' that a good tro-con needs to know. If you think that crap was difficult this next stage will make the last six months or so look like kindergarten! We're running a bit late today so I'll quickly introduce your instructors before I release you for dinner.

First off- to teach you karate, baritsu and hand-to-hand combat as well as yoga we have Senir TC 1st Lt. Lee Chan (A tall fellow who looked a lot like the ancient Terran martial arts film star Jackie Chan gave them a galactic salute and bowed. In point of fact Lee was indeed a direct descendant of the famed hero of the silver screen from Terran China).

Second we have to teach endurance and survival skills and tactics to you Chief Stefan Gazelle who doubles as our sports coach. (A big hulk of a guy with long flowing black hair stepped forward and gazed at the class steadfastly before shaking his head sadly and saying 'Pathetic, just pathetic, man!' in a loud rumble.

Our remaining duo of instructors are probably unknown to all of you. They hail from the Terran city of Roanispur in Thailand and come to us highly recommended. Your third instructor is Mr. Rock Obajime (The kid beside Revy Roberts nodded a tad nervously and managed a wan smile) and he'll be teaching you how to write up proper reports from your missions and daily work so I guess you could call Rock our resident 'red tape' expert.

Last but certainly not least we have Miss Rebecca er I mean Revy Roberts (The dark-haired beauty beside Rock frowned and made an obscene gesture to Don Poporo. Of the four instructors present Revy was the only one not in 3WA/'UG' attire. Instead the girl wore a black sleeveless tank top, torn and dirty sneakers and cutoff denim jeans. Criss-crossing her ample chest was a double-holstered under the arms shoulder harness and nesting in each holster was a heavy calibre Beretta automatic pistol nicknamed a 'Cutlass'. She nodded curtly to the class. 'Pathetic is right man! What a bunch of pussy shitheaded losers, Rock!' she chuckled and the kid looked like he wanted to be on 'Dantoonine' at that moment! who will be instructing you in the finer points of marksmanship and er street combat fighting.

I know we all wanna get to chow so I'll dismiss you now that is if there are no questions?" said Don with a nervous glance around the hall.

"That baka moron bitch couldn't hit the broad ass side of a Rygullian barn!" shouted Rio Delcroix before Marina Oki could stop her.

"Hit the deck!" cried Rock and dove for cover just as Revy leaped up and performed a sideways somersault in midair, yanking out her twin cannons and firing all in the same blur of uninterrupted motion. Four neat little bulletholes had suddenly appeared in the 3WA crest above Mar and Kome's heads! A half credit coin (about the size of a Terran nickel) could have easily covered all four holes! Revy coolly reholstered her cannons and smiled at Rio.

"How's that, you Fxxxing dumbass?" she demanded, spitting out her cheroot stub. Don glanced up and blanched white- his worst nightmare had just arrived!

"Oro's the Hell's with all this Fxxxing noise, Don!?" growled a tall red-headed and green-aizued Amazon dressed in a 3WA red/black skintight bodysuit and red chukka ankle boots. Depending from her right hip was a Mark XIII ion cannon which weapon made Revy's 'Cutlass' noisemakers look like pea-shooters in comparison!

"Ladies and gents- permit me to introduce our newest Academy Chief er for you Terran folks that's the same as a college dean- Marshall Keirran er I meant Kei O'Halloran. Hiya Boss. Miss Roberts here has just er been demonstrating her shooting skills to the class." said Don.

Kei yawned, then spun like lightning back to face Revy, yanking out her cannon at the same time. Over her shoulder she fired two ion blasts in quick succession and where Revy's four bullet holes had been a moment ago now was only a smoking crater in the back wall!

"Kei! How the oni (devil) can I teach first aid with all of this racket going on, dammit all!" screeched a violet-maned vixen with flashing aizu the colour of deep azure who had just bounced into the huge hall. Her hot pants outfit was a pstel hue of aoishi (blue) and white and complemented her aizu perfectly. White over the calf length Cavalier boots completed her ensemble and strapped to her right side was a teeny tiny (but deadly!) Mark III miniblaster.

"And this is our esteemed Academy's executive chief er vice-principal- Wing Commander Yuri Donovan." added Poporo. Then Yuri saw oro was left of the wall!

"Christ Almighty, Kei! Not another blasted shield? That's the third one you've blasted this month! The 'G Twins' (Andre Gooley and Charlie Garner) are gonna be well and truly pissed, man! Oh er hello class. Welcome to the 3WA Academy or jigoku (Hell) which is oro you'll be calling it pretty darn soon if you ain't already! Good luck." finished the exec.

A desk job/teaching gig was fine with Yuri after that last mission she'd been on but for Kei this was sheer and utter boredom! Revy laughed out loud. Big mistake!

"You freaks got a bimbo broad and a wimpy schoolkid running this Fxxxing dump? I don't Fxxxing believe it! Whassa matter- wasn't Dean Wormer ((The Faber College dean played by John Vernon in that old Terran film 'Animal House') available? No wonder this place is a frigging joke!" chortled the Terran markswoman.

"Hey there Lady! You just watch your mouth there! That ain't now way to be talking about our 'Dirty Pair'!" cried an incensed Tomah Jordan who was holding the door open for Yuri. Four pair of angry aizu (including Yuri's) turned in his direction.

"That's 'Lovely Angels', dammit!" chorused the 'Unholy Four' who are of course Kei, Yuri, Kome and Marlene. Kei strolled to the front podium and glared icily at Revy Roberts.

"Class- you are hereby dismissed. See ya all back here at 0900 ashita (tomorrow) morning." she barked.

"Let's go, Boss. You've got a lotta recquisition vidchips left to sign." said Yuri, adroitly steering the redhead to the portals. Legato grinned at Revy.

"Girl, you just dunno how Kami shimatta extremely lucky you are. The Boss usually puts folks into the hospital for that kinda mouthing off. Your pardon, ma'am. Legato Bluesummers at your service. I'm captain of the 'Raphael'. That's one of the 'Lovely Angel 2' starship's four shuttles. (The others being of course 'Michaelangelo', 'Leonardo' and 'Donnatella') But don't get me wrong now. I'm also a trainee here. Pleased to meet ya, ma'am." said Blue. Revy returned his gaze coolly.

"That Irish idjit's the lucky one, pal of mine. I usually 'kill' folks I don't like, man! And by the way friend- you call me anything but Revy again and I'll rip your Fxxxing head off and shit down your Fxxxing throat, Captain! Nice to meet you too, sir. C'mon Rock. I need a Fxxxing drink, kid." said Revy, dragging her companion towards the bar area.

Kome's mouth was open wide in shock! Mar smiled ruefully. "Here we go again, kiddo." she observed dryly.

END of Ch 1 . Ch 2 coming soon. R/R/S away and Kami bless you all. SYS and SFN. Ja mata and have a super weekend. Toodles-K&K