Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's Note: My first Blackadder fic, a product of having nothing exciting to do on an unusually sunny day. THIS IS NOT SLASH – I haven't got the talent to write slash, and I take my hat (or headband) off to the authors who write it here – clever people. Please review if you get a chance, I want to know if it's as rubbish as I think it is. Series 2, set during "Money". One or two lines nicked from the show. Short one-shot. Percy thinks the world of Edmund.

Only A Fool

To Lord Percy, Edmund was the most amazing person in the world. He lived in Edmund's shadow, and he was happy enough to keep it that way.

Percy couldn't remember a time when he hadn't known Edmund. Actually, he could, just about. Edmund was a year or so older than him, and right from the beginning the latter had been in awe of this "heroic" figure, even though he was the type of person who would steal your ball right from under your nose and claim it as his own. This was, in fact, what Edmund had done to Percy, quickly followed by:

"Well I can't play on my own, fathead!" Percy had jumped to Edmund's command, honoured at the attention.

Percy had been jumping to Edmund's command ever since.

Despite doing everything Edmund ordered him to, it didn't seem to make much difference to what Edmund thought of Percy. Over the years the insults had become so common they almost didn't hurt anymore.

"Come on, you stupid prat, you call that running?"

"I'm sorry you're alive!"

"Bob, this is Percy, a dimwit I can't seem to shake off…"

Despite this, Percy's loyalty remained unshaken.

"You couldn't get a decent girl if your life depended on it!"

Oh yes, that was the other thing. Not only did Edmund seem to come up trumps in everything, not only did he seem to have all the talent, but he had to be the man who all the girls fawned over. Every time a girl showed an interest in Percy, Edmund would unfortunately be nearby with some snide comment, and in seconds the girl was no longer interested in him, she was eyeing up Edmund and laughing at Percy.

No, Percy couldn't seem to get a decent girl – because Edmund had had them all first. That was one thing Percy wasn't willing to share with his friend. Because, despite everything that Edmund said, everything Edmund did, Percy still considered him his dearest friend. Edmund insulted, Percy forgave him readily. He didn't really mean it, Percy told himself, it's just his funny way.

They'd tried everything to raise the money to pay the mad bishop. Percy was still reeling from the fact that Edmund had stolen his life savings. That was one thing that had really hurt him, but he was still prepared to let bygones be bygones. He was probably desperate, Percy told himself.

Edmund was desperate again now. Desperate enough to force his "friend" into doing this. Percy sat on the bed, wearing a cheap prostitute's outfit. Tears of shame and humiliation stung his eyes. Only a fool would do this for a friend…but he would grit his teeth and do what he could for Edmund…for in Percy's mind, Edmund was family.

ENDETH

End note: Thanks for reading, what do you think? Shall I just go jump off the roof?

Suzi