Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine.
A/N Uh, for Cassy from NFA. Hangman Prize. I had no idea what on earth I was writing, and this just happened.
Paring(s): Established McGiva
Warnings: Spoilers, I guess, for Twilight, Kill Ari, etc.
Summary: "Ziva, are you mad with me?" Established McGiva.
"Ziva, are you mad with me?" McGee asked nervously, crouching down next to his girlfriend who was gently moving back and forth on the swing in her local park. The moon was shining brightly, and its beams reflected off the previously rained on path.
"Now, why would you think that?" she replied testily, all but ignoring his sudden presence. She turned away from him, suddenly becoming very interested in a darkened tree.
"You've been giving me glares all day long," McGee responded.
"So now you pay attention to me," Ziva huffed, looking annoyed. "I . . ." she trailed off, unsure of herself.
"Ziv, please," McGee murmured, taking her hand in his. She snatched it away immediately, leaving McGee hurt, and a bit annoyed.
"It is nothing," she replied haughtily, her face still turned away from McGee.
"It doesn't look like nothing," McGee snapped, more harshly than he had intended. "I thought we were meant to talk about things . . . that's what partners do. Or are we not partners in that sense?" Ziva turned to face him, showing him the hurt expression on her face. McGee immediately felt bad about what he had said, and tried to apologise.
But she waved him off and said, "Is that what you think we are? Nothing more than a good time?"
"Ziva, how could you even say that?" McGee replied, shocked, and a bit upset that she would actually think that. "Is that what you think we are?"
"I . . ." Ziva wasn't sure how to respond. Sure, she'd had relationships in the past, but this was something different. Most of her previous boyfriends had liked it hard and rough, but McGee was different, a gentleman.
She shook her head and sighed. "If we were just, as you say, friends with benefits, then we would have been over a long time ago."
"Ziva, I . . ."
"Just don't, Tim, just don't," she replied, cutting him off almost sadly. "I do not need this right now."
"Then talk to me, please," McGee pleaded, looking at her desperately. "How can I know what you need if you don't talk to me?"
"You're one to talk," Ziva countered. "Or have you forgotten what day it is?"
McGee sighed, he knew exactly what Ziva was talking about. It had been four years to the day since Special Agent Caitlin Todd had been killed in the line of duty.
"I know what day it is," he replied softly.
"So I thought," Ziva muttered, and then raised her voice. "I asked you this morning if you were okay, yes?"
"Ziva, look, I . . ." McGee looked guiltily at Ziva; he knew exactly where this was going.
She ignored him and continued, "But you brushed me off, practically ignored me, and spent the whole morning in Abby's lab with her and Tony . . ."
"I . . ."
"Did you not think I could provide the same comfort as Tony and Abby?" she said.
"It's not that," McGee replied hastily.
"Then what!?" Ziva yelled angrily. "Is it because I do not display my emotions so openly like Abby?"
"No, of course not."
"Oh." Ziva looked defeated and a little sad. "It is because it was my brother who killed Caitlin . . . and you blame me . . ."
"Oh, god, Ziva, no!" McGee replied quickly, astounded that she'd even think that. "No, I would never blame you, ever. It's just . . ."
"It's just what, Tim?" Ziva asked.
"Well, you know, I thought it might be, uh, a little awkward," he answered weakly. "You know . . ."
"Since Ari was the one that took her life," she sighed and nodded. "I understand, I truly do. But did you ever consider that I may have wanted to talk, also?"
McGee blushed and looked away, embarrassed. "I didn't . . ."
"I know you didn't," Ziva replied, "which is why I was a little annoyed, but I do not blame you. And I understand. You are grieving for a friend; I know the feeling. I, also, did not know Caitlin as you did. To me, she was a piece of paper . . ."
"Ziv . . ."
"I know it is selfish, but I – but I would have liked a little comfort too," Ziva cut in softly, looking down at her feet. "It's just . . ."
"I'm sorry," McGee started, cutting Ziva off.
Ziva interrupted, "Do not apologise, it's a sign of weakness."
McGee cracked a small smile. "I see you have been listening to Gibbs."
Ziva smiled softly, but then it vanished. "I know it is not true, but I cannot help but think I might have been able to stop Ari from killing Caitlin . . ."
"Ziva, it's not your fault, you know that, right?" McGee assured her, and this time as he took her hand, she did not pull away.
"But, maybe if I . . ."
"No maybes; what's done is done," McGee said firmly. "You cannot change the past, no matter how much you would like to."
Ziva opened her mouth to say something else, but McGee got in there first. "The Ari that killed Kate was a monster, plain and simple. There was nothing you could have done. It was not your fault."
"How do you know that?" she murmured.
"Because you are a good person, Ziva," McGee replied gently. "And . . . and I love you."
Ziva was silent for a moment, before replying, "I . . . you know, feel the same way." She blushed and looked away, but McGee smiled.
He lent over and kissed the top of her head before standing up and walking behind her. "How long has it been since you've been on one of these?" he asked.
"Awhile," Ziva smiled softly, but was caught off guard as she suddenly found herself airborne. "Tim!"
McGee laughed. "Just enjoy it, Ziv."
"But . . ."
McGee shook his head as he pushed Ziva again. This time, Ziva did not complain and let the laws of gravity carry her. And they stayed like that, with Tim pushing Ziva, until the rain started to fall.