We Built the Pyramids

For an lj meme, the "10 Songs written in the time it takes the song to play" I picked The Big Bang Theory, because, hey, I've just started watching that show and it seemed like a good idea. Maybe not. It's hard for me to write. I underestimated it. This is pretty OOC.

Unbetaed, please point out any mistakes so I can fix them!

1. Face Down, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Sheldon did a double take. "What on earth happened to you?"

"I'll give you a hint," Leonard winced his way to the sofa, dropping his bag as he went. "It was big, burly, hairy, and of the male persuasion."

Sheldon pondered. "Smokey the Bear?"

"Wha-No." Leonard rolled his eyes. "That guy who keeps hanging out in the lobby. He said I looked at him funny."

"Did you give him that look?"

"What look?"

"You know, that look you get on your face sometimes when you're not making any other face."

Leonard stared at him. "My…natural face?"

"Yes. It's very odd."

Scowling, Leonard tentatively poked at one of the bruises forming on his arm. "I'm surprised you even know who Smokey the Bear is."

2. You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want, Avenue Q

What do two physicists do when they're wasted?

"Leonard, what are you—oh my Spock." Sheldon's head hit the arm of the couch, his eyes shut so tight he could see flashes.

Leonard was being very, very naughty, but being drunk apparently gave him dexterous abilities in the mouth area. Sheldon gripped a handful of dark hair, feeling the rim of glasses against his hand. He plucked them off and tossed them aside.

3. Blame It On Me, Barenaked Ladies

"You think you're so smart." Leonard practically snarled.

"Actually, I know I'm so smart." Sheldon informed him, frankly a little surprised that Leonard had forgotten. "I have an IQ of—"

"187. Yes, I know." Leonard snapped.

Sheldon looked at the scowling shorter man, crossing his arms. "While my social skills are no match in comparison to my outstanding mental capability, my astute observational skills lead me to believe that you are upset."

Leonard glared at him darkly. "Really? Well, I'm not."

"Oh." Sheldon shrugged. "Okay." He turned back to his laptop, mind racing with theoretical formulas. Leonard was silent for a minute before huffing, "Fine! Okay, I'm upset."

Tapping out a few more codes, Sheldon raised an eyebrow, "And you are upset why?"

"Because you-! You just—embarrassed me in front of all those girls!"

"I did no such thing." Sheldon defended, looking at Leonard.

"Yes, you did. You just had to point out how much smarter you are."

"My IQ is marginally higher than yours." Sheldon explained, "I was simply pointing out the facts."

Leonard crumpled a piece of paper he'd been working on and threw it angrily in the direction of the trashcan. "How am I supposed to get a girlfriend when you do things like that?"

"You don't need a girlfriend." Sheldon said airily, blowing off Leonard's anger. "You have me."

4. End of the World, Armor for Sleep

"It's not the end of the world." Penny tried to console him. She didn't particularly like the guy, but…it was just so pathetic watching him mope around.

"Of course it's not." Sheldon agreed, failing to see her message. "I don't see what Leonard's leaving has to do with the wellbeing of planet Earth."

Penny sighed, "I just meant—things will get better. You can find a new roommate."

"I don't want a new roommate." Sheldon said petulantly. "I want Leonard. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a roommate who is so complacent with my needs as an intellectual genius?"

Penny hesitated.

"I'm sure you don't, being as you are not an intellectual genius, or even remotely close." Sheldon's entire face seemed to quiver. "No one will be as good as Leonard."

5. Dancing Shoes, Arctic Monkeys

"Sheldon." Leonard hissed as the taller man dragged him through the crowd, "maybe you've forgotten, but neither of us knows how to dance!"

"I've been observing the movements of those partygoers for the last hour, it's surprisingly simple. Basic physics, if you will."

"It is not basic physics." Leonard argued, "It takes rhythm."

Sheldon finally stopped in the middle of the dance floor, the moving crowd jostling Leonard into him. "You have musical talent, and I am a genius—if that-that Merton Dingle from the astrophysics department can do it, we sure can."

Leonard scrambled for stability, using Sheldon as leverage. "See, you've got it!" Sheldon pointed out, dropping his hands to Leonard's waist.

6. Call It Karma, Silverstein

"What? I don't—I don't like Sheldon." Leonard scoffed, shifting awkwardly under Raj's gaze.

"Well, I think you do." The foreigner said, "Frankly, I'm a little surprised that someone with Sheldon's IQ hasn't realized it yet."

"He hasn't realized it because I don't." Leonard countered, defending himself.

"You don't what?' Sheldon's voice asked and he appeared in the hall.

"Nothing." Leonard stressed, glaring at Raj.

"Oooh, it's something." Raj told Sheldon, who raised an eyebrow. "He just won't admit it."

"Admit what?" Sheldon asked.

"Nothing!" Leonard repeated heatedly.

7. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, Joe Nichols

Leonard had never been so drunk in his life. He felt the need to announce this. "I am…so…" he slurred, hanging onto the edge of the coffee table like he might fall off the floor if he didn't." so…wasted."

Sheldon, silent and sober, raised a precautious eyebrow at his inebriated roommate. Leonard continued, undeterred by his unresponsiveness. "I think I should…take my clothes off…"

Alarmed, Sheldon straightened up in his chair. "What kind of logic is that—"

Leonard, drunk and mostly logicless, stripped off all his shirts. "I..Sheldon—it's hot." He attempted to explain as he began unzipping his pants, "and I'm so drunk."

Sheldon turned away from the sight and swallowed thickly, "Good lord."

8. Boba Fett's Vette, MC Chris

"Wow." Penny said, because she really wasn't sure what else to say. "Wow."

And Leonard had to agree. It was quite possibly the best costume he'd ever seen. Shiny boots, shiny torso, shiny helmet. Perfect gloves and belt and the jetpack—oh, it took Leonard's breath away.

"I'm Boba the Fett." Sheldon said stoically, muffled by his mask. "My backpack has jets. I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt to finance my—"

"Yeah." Penny interrupted. "That's really…impressive, Sheldon."

"No." Leonard corrected, sounding more than a little amazed. "That's beautiful."

9. Because I'm Awesome, The Dollyrots

"Well why wouldn't you?" Sheldon asked, sounding downright quizzical.

"Because you're-you're a guy, Sheldon." Leonard explained, "and I like girls."

"Yes, but I'm also a genius." Sheldon countered factually. "I'm quite healthy and make an adequate sum of money each month. Also, we already coexist in the same habitat. Therefore, I am your ideal mate."

"Right." Leonard rolled the information over in his head. This was true, all true, but it didn't change the fact that—" But you're a guy."

"Oh please, Leonard." Sheldon scoffed. "I read your diary. You should change your password, by the way, it's painfully obvious."

"You read my diary?" Leonard repeated aghast.

"Well of course." Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I wanted to make sure you would not be adverse to my plan before presenting it to you."

10. Transformers Theme, Mutemath

It wasn't that Howard was surprised, it was just that--yeah, okay, he was surprised. Shocked, even. For some reason the thought had just never crossed his mind.

But there was really no denying what he was seeing. No believable denial, at least. Leonard and Sheldon were definitely—dare he say it?—kissing. Tongue touching, swapping spit, doing the oral hopscotch. Whatever you call it, they were doing it.

Howard couldn't stop the long, amazed squeak that escaped him. The roommates pulled apart and looked at him, Leonard immediately trying to smooth down his crinkled clothing. "Howard! You-oh, um…"

Sheldon sneered, "It's quite rude to stare."