A Bra on the Ceiling
Must I really go over this again?
Ok, let's try it this way. Raise
your hand if you think I own the X-Men or will make any money off of this. Ok, now please observe that all those with
their hands raised are dumbasses. Thank
you for your time.
I just kind of hammered this out,
because I fell that I'm not writing enough.
REVIEW OR SUFFER YOUR OWN PERSONAL
Ororo Muttered to herself as one
eyelid slowly creaked open. Sunlight
poured into her attic bedroom, making everything look too cheery for Ororo's
taste. After last night, or what she
could remember, she didn't really care if the sun never shown again, as long as
she could be somewhere dark and quite.
Using all of her will power, she
managed to open both of her eyes, and started at the white plaster
ceiling. Her bra was up there. "By the Goddess…" Staples, running up and
down the straps, and two in the middle of each cup. I guess during the course of last night, I…I…stapled my bra to
the ceiling. She quickly reached
her hand beneath the sheet to confirm her suspicions. And Goddess knows what I
did with my panties.
sighed and pulled the covers up to her chin, cocooning herself in the warmth.
She didn't want to get up today. She
just wanted to lie very, very still and try to avoid the head-splitting
headache she knew she'd be getting any moment, thanks to all the drinking she'd
been doing last night. Her eyes drifted
closed once more, as she prepared herself to dink into sleep once more. That's when she heard the noise.
It was a combination of a snore and a cough, and Ororo knew that it
definitely hadn't come from her. It had
come from right next to her, actually.
A hand lazily reached over to Ororo and draped itself across her.
shit. What did I do last night?
"Ororo, you have to some out with us!
It's the first day of summer break!
You know what that means, no more classes to teach, no more homework to
grade, nothing but dancing and booze!" Rogue exclaimed, plopping down onto the
couch next to Storm, sticking a hand into the fresh bowl of popcorn that had
been sitting on her lap. Ororo
"I'd love to come,
Rogue, but you know it's the Summer Solstice tonight, and I would really rather
prefer some calm meditations tonight, followed by some dancing-" she eyed her
friend warily, "alcohol-free dancing." "Alcohol-free
dancing? I didn't even know that kind
of shit had been invented!"
"Very amusing, Rogue. But I
believe my answer is no."
Rogue cocked her head. This was
a battle she was not going to lose.
"Oh. Well, I guess I
Ororo turned her head, her platinum hair cascading off her
shoulders. "You do?"
"Umm, yeah. I mean, if I didn't
know how to dance, I guess I wouldn't really want to go clubbing, either."
"I know how to dance."
"Oh, of course you do, sugah, just not our kind of dancing. Sure, it's easy to flail your arms up and
down and jump around naked, but it takes a certain…skill to dance like, let's
say, I do."
Ororo's back stiffened as her pride began to kick in. "I do know how to dance your style, Rogue. I'd just prefer
to spend the evening at home."
"Which I understand, because, from what Bobby tells us about the last
time you guys went out, I'd stay home too."
"What did he say about me?"
Rogue bit her lip, but an
answer came soon enough. "Just that it
looked like the Goddess was having seizures, but it's no big deal, Storm. You just stay home, have yourself another
big bowl of popped corn, and I'll tell'em all that you can't…don't feel like
"No need, Rogue. I've changed
my mind. I believe I'll be joining you
catlike smile crept across Rogue's face.
I guess it paid off to have
Mystique as a mom after all.
The low, synthesized music permeated the
room as hordes of people began lifelessly swaying to the monotonous beat. And this beats dancing naked how, Ororo
thought to herself as she slid into a nearby bar stool, eying the crowd as it
moved around her. There were Remy and
Rogue, swaying seductively close to each other. As the music reached a slower rhythm, the two got even closer to
one another. Goddess, if I knew that
she liked things that clingy, I would have let her have a spandex uniform.
Scott and Jean, going out on their second
official date, were huddled close together at a small table. Jean let out a tinkling giggle as she threw
her hair back and laughed at probably what was just another one of Scott's
boring and arcane jokes. Still, Ororo
sighed to herself as she swiveled in her stool to face the bar, I wouldn't
mind having a man tell me bad jokes all night.
Goddess, I wouldn't mind having a man who couldn't even string together
bartender leaned over and gave her a fresh glass of… "What is this?" Storm
asked, picking up her small glass and swirling the liquid around a few
I saw you looking a bit sad, and staring at all them male friends of yours, so
I figured you could use a little something stronger." He reached below the bar and pulled out a long, glass
bottle. "Troyshka Vodka. My personal favorite. Hopefully, it'll be one of yours,
soon." The bartender let out a wink as
he moved further down to serve more customers.
Goddess, I must look really pathetic to be offered so much alcohol. Well, I guess maybe I am pathetic. She drummed her fingers impatiently on
the counter a few times as she stared at the shot glass. To drink or not to drink. What the hell, pathetic people deserve to
get drunk once in a while. Screw all of you, Remy, Logan, Scott; this woman
needs no man.
threw back the shot and smiled as she felt a nice, oozy feeling make it's way
through her body. This woman only
needs Jack Adams…wait, I think I got that wrong…wooo, look at that, I never
noticed how the floor was a chair.
know, chere, you be quite the dancer," Remy remarked as he and Rogue continued
to grind to the music. Rogue let out a
sly grin as she swiveled her hips a little bit more. "You're not too bad
yourself, sugah," she replied, carefully throwing an arm around his
aside, Skunk girl, let me show you the happy naked pagan dance," a slightly
slurred voice called out from behind her.
Rogue tilted her head to see Storm standing close behind her, looking a
bit…not drunk, just a little bit more loose than normal. She carelessly stumbled over to them and ran
into Remy. "Watch it dere,
Stormy. You gonna take someone out,
trying to walk in those heels." "Mind
if I cut in, R-r-r-ouge? Oops, I mean
Rogue. Hey, I'd never noticed that
before," Ororo said, as she clumsily placed Remy's arms around hers. "Uh,
sure, you go on ahead." "Thanks,"
Strom whispered as pushed Remy and herself further onto the dance floor. The crowd swallowed them up, and soon they
were lost in a sea of body parts, all moving to the same, unyielding
you like to dance, Stormy? Gambit
admit, he be a bit curious to see the naked pagan dance," he spoke into her ear
as she let her body sway and move to the music like it was water all around
didn't you say anything about it earlier, then, sailor?" she asked, leaning
into him, moving her hands from his shoulder up to his neck. She buried her face into the side of his
neck and let out a small breath that set Remy's nerves on end. Remy's arms almost instinctively wrapped
themselves around Ororo tighter, as he inhaled the slight lemongrass perfume
that she wore. "Because you really out
to know," she whispered against him, her lips moving in sweet agony against his
sensitive skin, "this happy pagan hates to dance alone."
Goddess, I slept with REMY?!? Wait a
"Stormy, I think maybe you had a little too much to
drink. P'raps we do this another time,
non? When you have your head about
you," Remy managed to sputter out as he plucked her arms from him, despite the
pleasing sensations they were giving him.
"But Remy, I want you now. I want you to come over here and kiss me and
then tell me why the hell the floor keeps trying to jump around on me." Remy gave a halfhearted smile as his
suspicions were confirmed. Storm had
been coming onto him because she was a bit drunk.
"All right, Stormy, Remy'll explain
that all to you, so why don't you just sit down there at that table and wait
for me, oui?"
"Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, and,
and, I think I'm supposed to say that you shouldn't call me that. Yeah, that really pisses me off. Actually, you really piss me off, you mother
fu…oh, hey Logan, how ya doing?"
Remy rolled his eyes. Once the Goddess got going, she was never
"Now, if you'll excuse me, Stormy,
I think I'll just go to the men's room and take care of a little
business." As he walked past Logan, he
whispered slightly under his breath that Storm was drunk, relying on Logan's
hearing to pick up on it.
Logan, having fun?" storm asked him as she followed him around the crowded
he yelled in response, looking back at her as if he had just noticed her for
the first time. "Hold on a sec,
darlin', let me take out my ear plugs.
Damn clubs are so loud they make my hearing go crazy." He reached his hands up to his ears and
pulled out two, minute pieces of quark.
"Now, what didja say?"
if you were havi…if you ever get lonely at night," Ororo said, as her tone
changed from loud to seductive.
ya mean by that, Ro?"
just wondering if you ever felt the same as I do…alone at night, thinking about
that someone who is always just so far out of your reach that you can never
quite have…" she trailed off as her finger made its own trail up his jaw line.
Logan looked at the beautiful woman before
him, and he was downright perplexed.
Was it just him, or was she coming onto him? "Ro, are ya feeling alight," he asked, as she moved her body
closer to his.
she murmured, her face getting closer to his, "for once in my life, I'm feeling
wanted to walk into the nearest department store and personally shake the hand
of the Mary Kay saleslady who had sold Ororo her lipstick, because it felt like
pure heaven against him. Their lips had
met and were now exploring each other with earnest passion, as Ororo's arms,
like with Remy, sought refuge around his neck.
Logan's strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist as they deepened
their kiss. Ororo felt like she was on
fire. It might have been the alcohol
that was coursing through her system, but she thought she knew what it
was. It was this power that she had
never experienced before. The power to
do whatever, and whomever she pleased.
She felt like she could do anything she wanted anywhere, that nothing
could stop her.
mind thinking along those lines, she made the kiss more passionate, more lusty,
as her hands now grabbed for anything she could get a hold of. Logan, startled by this sudden outburst, was
taken back and slightly stumbled backwards, and Ororo, refusing to let go of
him, stumbled with him. Desperately trying
to not fall over, Logan kept moving backwards, torn between wanting to keep
kissing Ororo and making sure that he wouldn't fall on his ass and smash a few
his back hit something solid, and he could concentrate on the other task
instead. Ororo laughed to herself as
she felt him begin to kiss her back once again. He thought he was going to get in control.
not when I've just discovered this power.
of her strength, she pushed him back, so he was now flat on his back on what
had turned out to be a table. "Now
let's see who'll dominate who, Logan," she growled as she prepared herself to
rip his shirt off.
Goddess, LOGAN'S the one I slept with?
Noo…it can't be…
"Umm, do you guys
want to join us or something," Scott asked, looking up at the two, embarrassed
for them. "I'm sure there's room enough
at our table for all of us."
Storm quickly got off Logan and
looked around. Logan lay on Jean and
Scott's table. "Actually," Ororo said,
brushing back a strand of white hair and trying to catch her breath, "I
wouldn't mind sitting down and ordering a few drinks. See ya around, Logan," she said in a flippant tone as she slid
into the both next to Scott.
Logan, composing himself, stopped
in mid-breath and stared at Ororo.
"What did you say?" he asked,
not comprehending what she had just said.
Hadn't we just been…weren't we going to…doesn't she know that I…
"I said, Mr. Back-Hair, I'll see
you when I see you. Now, why don't you
go whiddle or do whatever you lumberjacks do.
Logan was speechless. There was only one word he could think
of. "Bitch." With that, he turned, and headed in the direction of the men's
room. He tired to console himself. Well, I already dropped one piece of
shit, might as well drop another.
turned her attention to Scott and Jean, who tried not to look at her oddly.
"So, what's been up between you two lovebirds, besides the obvious…goddess, I'm
hilarious." Ororo found herself in a
fit of giggles as she congratulated herself about her well-made joke about
Scott's dick. Jean stiffened a giggle
herself, while Scott's lips pursed together in a tight line.
have you had anything to drink tonight," he asked her, slowly moving his half
drunken beer to the far side of the table, away from her grasp.
little, but who cares. We all deserve
to let loose everyone now and then, don't we?"
Scott, come on, let Storm have a good time.
I haven't seen her this happy in ages."
you, Jean, thank you. I'll drink to
sighed to himself as he sank back against the booth. He had wanted to spend a little time alone with Jean tonight, so
maybe he could hope to, well, so maybe I could give her a little kiss.
"So, Jean, has Scott given you a little
fuck yet?" Scott shot forward as his
cheeks became the color of his sunglasses.
they both asked in unison.
you know, I was just wondering if Scott had fucked you yet, because, well, you
know how everyone always calls Scott a dick-" Scott's face took on a look of
surprise. "Oh, come on, it's not like
you didn't know that, Mr. Dick. So, anyway, since everyone always called Scott
a dick, it got me wondering about his real dick, so I just thought
enough of that, Storm. I think maybe
you should call it a night."
with you, big boy," she said, reaching down, trying to get a feel for his…
Scott yelled as he jumped up, banging the table with his knee, knocking Jean's
beer into his lap.
sorry Scott, didn't know you were so insecure about it."
it. Ororo, leave us alone. Jean and I don't want to talk to you right
me? Scott, did I say that I didn't want
to talk to Ororo? Because I don't
recall ever saying that."
look at her," Scott said quite loudly, as if Storm wasn't even there, "she's
drunk. We shouldn't be around her right
'We'? Who's this 'we' I keep hearing
about? There might have been a we, but
I don't think so anymore. If I did have
a 'we', it wouldn't tell me when to be friends with someone."
Scott's face, which looked as if it couldn't have assumed any more emotions,
now looked flustered.
what," Jean asked him, raising a critical eyebrow, "going to say something that
I'd actually care about?"
going to the bathroom to clean myself up.
Good night, to the both of you."
pushed past Jean as he slid out of the booth and made his way to the bathroom,
leaving Storm and Jean to watch his wet pants wiggle and sag as he walked away.
Scott angrily threw open the door to the bathroom and marched
in. He saw Remy, standing by the mirror
and carefully checking his appearance.
Scott. You had an accident or something, mon ami?" he asked, motioning down to
wasn't an accident. It was a
can understand that."
who's in the stall?"
be me, bub."
off, I'm trying to take a shit."
" 'Fuck off, I'm trying to take a shit,' "
Scott mimicked under his breath as he grabbed a few paper towels. He did his best to clean up the mess,
dabbing the brown excuses for towels at the beer, but to no avail. Scott let loose a sigh, this time an angry
one, as he glimpsed up at his reflection in the dirtied, yellow mirror. I'm going to make that Ororo Munroe pay…a
small smile crept across his face. And
I know just how that dick is going to get her.
"I slept with SCOTT?" Ororo screamed as she sat upright in
her bed. Oh, Goddess, Goddess,
Goddess, no, no, no. And I though
having my bra stapled to the ceiling was bad…remembering her bra, Ororo
took a quick glance at the ceiling.
Yep, it was still there, black lace, tag and all. In fact, there was something written on the
tag…Ororo squinted her eyes, trying to make out the writing.
"I hope you didn't like this
bra. Love, The Dick."
"Wait a minute…if all Scott did was
steal my bra…then who's in my bed."
"God, Ororo, turn the lights off or
The End…or is it?
Actually, I think it is.