A Kim Possible fanfic.
By Zombie Boy.
Deserters we've been called
Chose a gun
And threw away the sun
Now these towns they all know our name
The death punch sound is our claim to fame
And that's they call me
I can't deny
Bad Bad Company till the day I die
Until the day I die
Until the day I die
Until the day I die
Bad Company, by Five Finger Death Punch.
Chapter Thirty Six.
The pile of covers on Kims bed shuddered as her Kimmunicator went off and jarred her awake, the four note tone stabbing through her eardrums straight into her brain. Shoving her arm out from under the covers, she flailed around for a few moments until she found something solid.
Pulling it under the covers, she put it to her head only to recoil in horror as she discovered that she had grabbed one of her shoes. Gagging, she shoved her arm back out again as the Kimmunicator's tone kept stabbing into her brain.
In short order, she found her bra, her shirt, her other shoe, and finally, her belt. Gritting her teeth, Kim pulled the offending device out it's pouch and thumbed the talk button.
"Yes?" she croaked, her tongue feeling like it had a shag carpet on it and not even bothering to see who was calling.
"Hello Miss Possible." the voice of Doctor Director answered her and seemingly making her molars vibrate.
Kim instantly went from "living dead" to "alive". "H-hello Doctor Director." she croaked out as she sat up in bed and instantly regretted it as the sunlight lasered through her eyelids and into her brain.
"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Director asked.
Squinting, Kim held up a hand to shade her eyes as she looked at the screen. "No." she said, her voice hoarse. "Why do you ask?"
"You're not wearing a shirt." Director pointed out.
Kim blinked, looked down, and grimaced when she realized that Betty was right. Grabbing the sheets, she quickly reclaimed her modesty, then turned her attention back to the Kimmunicator.
"S-sorry." she said sheepishly, the blush spreading across her cheeks making her feel even worse.
"I take it you had a rough time with your mission last night?" asked Betty.
Kim nodded with a grimace. "B3S was there." she answered. "Is that why you're calling?"
Betty shook her head. "No, actually. I'm calling to see if you've uncovered any information about who Shego might be seeing."
Luckily for Kim, she was too hung over to panic when Betty mentioned Ron's girlfriend. Unluckily though, Betty already knew about that and was just calling to see if she knew.
"No." Kim said with a very gentle shake of her head. "We haven't heard anything."
Betty nodded as she opened some windows on her end. "Well, if you do, be sure to tell us."
"We will." Kim said, and then broke the connection before crawling back under the covers.
When the video player closed Betty Director leaned back in her chair and tapped a forefinger on her temple.
"Interesting." she mused aloud. "Either Miss Possible is in the dark about her partner and Miss Goizargi, or her hangover kept her from panicking like she normally would have." she added, glancing at the file folder containing Kim's psych profile lying on her desk. "Either way, her next actions will prove it one way, or the other."
Leaning forward, she tapped a couple of buttons on her desk phone. The speaker came on and the sound of the speed dial could be heard. It connected, rang twice, and on the third ring it was picked up.
"ELINT Section, Section Chief speaking." a mans voice said.
"Terry, it's Betty." Betty said. "Keep an ear on that priority assignment I gave you, would you? I have a feeling that she's going to making a call soon."
"Will do, Betty." Terry Heath, Global Justice's Electronic Intelligence Section Chief answered. "I'll tell you if we get anything."
"Thanks, Terry." Betty said before hanging up.
Leaning back in her chair, she steepled her fingers as she gazed at her monitor. "Now, to see if my hunch is right..." she said aloud.
With a flick of her wrist, Shego slid the last of the bacon onto the spatula and lifted it out of the pan. Setting it on the plate she turned off the stove and chucked the spatula into the sink as a shuffling sound mixed with a low groan told her that Ron was awake or a zombie had gotten into the cabin.
"Morning Ron." she greeted. "I thought this would get you up."
Ron grunted in reply, slid a chair out from the table and collapsed into it. Shego smiled as she walked over to the table with the plate of bacon and another of scrambles with a side of hash browns.
"Turkey bacon?" she asked. "It's not as good as the real stuff, but I figure it qualifies somewhere..."
Ron grunted again and Shego put the plates in front of him. "I'll get you some silverware and a cup of coffee in a second." she told him, getting another grunt in response.
She got Ron his silverware and his coffee, then sat down with her own breakfast of a bowl of fruit with a cup of coffee for herself.
Silently they dined, until their dishes were empty and their cups drained. Rubbing his eye, Ron extended out his cup to Shego.
"Refill, please." he croaked.
"So you're alive." Shego said as she took his cup.
Ron merely grunted and ran a hand through his hair. "My eyelids feel like they're made out of sandpaper." he commented. "Why the hell do people do that stuff?"
"Because they like that stuff?" asked Shego as she poured their coffee. "You seemed to like it well enough last night."
"It's not like I had much of a choice in the matter." Ron explained as Shego turned back with their cups.
"The idiots intimidate you?" she asked, sliding Ron's cup over to him.
Ron gingerly shook his head as he took his cup in his hands. "No, I didn't want to offend the guy giving us a ride." he explained. "He was the guy who offered me the bong."
"Ah." Shego said with a nod. "So, what did the guy look like?"
Ron blinked a couple of times before he spoke. "Ah, you know those little gray men you hear about?" Shego nodded. "Well, he looks like them, but about nine feet tall and he talks with a Rastafarian accent."
"You're kidding." Shego said, disbelief in her voice.
"I wish I was." Ron countered. "I can call him if you want..."
Shego shook her head. "No, that's okay." she said. "So, the idiots know an alien."
"Yeah." Ron said and took a sip of his coffee. "Apparently they go way back. He just happened to be making a pick up and they called him."
Shego arched an eyebrow at her boyfriend. "Dare I ask as to what he was picking up?" she asked.
Ron grimaced as the answer came to mind. "Well, apparently, marijuana is a universal constant, and Earth also apparently grows the best stuff. He's importing it back to his people, along with some other stuff."
"Other stuff?" Shego asked.
"Porn, and beer." Ron stated flatly.
Shego scratched her head as she thought over what he had said. "Why porn and beer?" she asked.
Ron scratched at an itch on his shoulder as he answered. "Well, Red Stripe is considered an exotic liquor, and porn has a very high profit ratio.
All he has to do is get one copy per piece, and then download it for a fee when he gets home."
"Oh." Shego said, surprised by Ron's answer.
Ron merely shrugged. "Hey, a guys gotta earn a living." he said.
"That reminds me." Shego said, snapping her fingers. "My mom called. She wants us over for dinner this weekend."
"Won't that mess up our plans for Spring Break?" Ron asked.
"Nah." Shego said. "I was planning on us not being able to leave till Sunday or so, so this actually works out."
"Oh, that's right." Ron said. "We're factoring in the supervillians."
"Bingo." Shego said. "So, what are your plans for the day?"
"Go home, let my parents know that I'm still alive, sleep." was Ron's answer.
"Okay, but I'd recommend that you shower and wash your clothes before do that." Shego suggested. "You smell like you've had a night of carnal sins and other debauchery."
Ron looked down at himself. "Well, yeah, a shower probably would be a good idea..." he said.
Shego smiled. "Excellent. I'll join you." she said. "It'll help you recover from that hangover."
Ron's eyebrows arched. "I'm feeling better already." he said.
Having ate, showered, and drank a couple of cups of coffee Kim actually began to feel human. A fresh change of clothes added to that feeling, so when she sat down on her bed and picked up her Kimmunicator, she had already framed a clear plan of action in her mind on what to do about Dr Director's inquiry into Shego's love life.
Thumbing through the menu, she selected Wade's entry and pressed 'connect'. The connecting logo flashed a few times and then Wade's face came onscreen.
"Hey, Kim." Wade said, instantly recognizing his long time friend. "What's up?"
"We have got to deal with Director's little inquiry into Ron and Shego." Kim explained.
Wade blinked in surprise at Kim's directness, then set his brain on track. "You sound like you have a plan." he said. "What do you have in mind?"
"I was thinking that we make it look like that this is all a bunch of rumors." Kim ventured. "You think that's doable?"
Wade sighed and clicked a few items on his desktop as he mulled over what Kim had said for a few moments.
"Well...'' he began. "I think we can pull it off... but, we'll have to take a look at what Global Justice's original data was that caused them to start this investigation." Wade added. "that way we can figure out the best way to throw them off the trail."
"Sound's like I'll have to go pay them a visit." Kim said, but Wade shook his head.
"We won't have go that far..." he said. "There's a couple of their techs that owe me a couple of favors. I can ask them for a copy of their data."
"Okay." Kim said. "I'll be available all day, so beep me when you get it."
"I will." Wade said before breaking the connection.
Dropping the Kimmunicator on the bed, Kim leaned back and picked up the book lying on her nightstand.
Betty Director leaned back in her chair as the recording finished and drummed her fingers on her knees.
"Well, now, that certainly confirmed my hunch, now didn't it?" she commented.
"So what do you suggest we do?" came Du's voice from the speakerphone.
"Right now, we do nothing." Betty said. "But collect evidence and build our case."
"We've got enough evidence here for a conviction." Du pointed out. "Just throwing something out there."
"Actually, we don't." Betty countered.
"How, so ma'am?" Du asked.
"B3S." was Betty's answer. "Remember, they're friends with Team Possible. When it comes to derailing prosecutions, they are the masters. How do you think they've stayed out of jail for long?"
"She's right, Will." Valentine chimed in. "We pick up team Possible now, odd's are, within a week all of our evidence will have disappeared, along with our witnesses."
"I see." Du said. "I forgot to account for them."
"You've never had to deal with them." Betty said. "You have to account for them, or everything will get blown to hell."
"So, how do we do this?" asked Du.
"Like I said, we'll gather out evidence, build our case." Betty said. "I want to know where Shego is living, so we can grab her there, preferably with Mr Stoppable there as well. I want everything to be iron clad, and when we do this, we're going to make it public, so those morons cant just sweep it under the rug with out getting themselves into hot water."
"I see." was Du's reply. "Is there anything else?" he asked.
"If I think of anything, I'll let you know.' Betty said and broke the connection. "This is going to be a long and exacting investigation." she muttered.
Meanwhile, half a continent away, the trilling of a cordless telephone handset was answered with a growl.
"What the fuck do you want?" Andrew growled, throwing an arm over his eyes as the mid morning sun peeked in through his window.
"Good morning to you too, Andrew." Rally responded from the other end. "You sound bright eyed and bushy tailed today. What did you do, get into a drinking contest with Chris?"
"No." Andrew croaked. "We got a ride from Gizzy."
"Well, that would explain why my car is on the roof." Rally quipped.
Andrew pulled his arm away as what Rally had said penetrated through his sleep fogged and hangover mangled brain. "Roof?" he asked. "Your car is on the roof?"
Squinting up at the ceiling, Andrew blinked a couple of times. "I'm afraid to ask, but what else did we do?"
"Well, the Hyperbird is parked the Shelby's place, and I found my CZ detail stripped on my dresser." Rally answered. "So, other than that, nothing major."
For a fleeting moment, Andrew felt relief which was quickly replaced by a slight dread.
"If that's all that happened, I'm worried about what did and to who." Andrew said, grimacing as he pushed himself up onto one elbow.
"I haven't seen anything on the news..." Rally said hopefully.
"That doesn't mean anything." Andrew said, rubbing his eyes and feeling the dryness and itchiness fade as his enhancement kicked. "We did something to somebody, and it's going to bite us on the ass eventually."
"Speaking of bites, what are we going to do about Becky?" Rally asked.
Andrew grimaced and rubbed his eyes again. "Craap... I forgot about her." he said. "Well, for one thing, we can't tell Chris's baby momma about it. She'll kill us."
"Uhh... I already told May about what happened..." Rally pointed out.
"Other one." Andrew corrected her. "Integra."
Andrew nodded, despite rally being on the other end of a phone rather than being there in person. "Yeah, 'oh' is right. She hears about this, and the next thing we know we're gonna have Big Al phasing through the wall and I'm not entirely sure we can kill him."
"So what do we do?" Rally asked.
Andrew thought for a few moments as he squinted at the clock. Blurry as they were, he thought the display said 9:45 AM.
"We'll keep her here for the time being." Andrew said. "Until she learns how to control herself. Then we'll figure out something."
"That's it?" Rally asked. "No offense Andrew, but that doesn't sound like much of a plan."
"Well it's the only one we've got." Andrew shot back. "Besides, Right now, she's under Maggies control, so she won't be hurting anyone without our say so."
"Oh, that just makes me feel sooo much better." Rally deadpanned.
"Hey, Big Al, remember?" Andrew pointed out. "Causing trouble is the last thing she's gonna be doing."
Rally sighed and Andrew could almost picture her rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Alright." she said. "But we've got to think up something, something permanent. I don't think you and Chris want to sit on her for all of eternity."
"Hey, if worse comes to worse, we've got that cold iron room in the basement..." Andrew suggested.
Andrew was just starting whip up something in the way of breakfast when he heard Chris's bedroom door open, followed by the heavy thud of his footsteps as he stomped to the bathroom mixed in with an occasional irritated grunt and incoherent grumbling before the bathroom door slammed.
A few minutes after that, and the bathroom door opened again and this time the footsteps were much louder as he was going down the stairs. Seconds after reaching the foot of the stairs, Chris stomped into the kitchen, looking like a very irritated and homicidal caveman clad in black sweatpants.
"Caffeine." Chris grunted as he headed for the large stainless steel Bun-o-matic urn on the counter.
"Morning Chris." Andrew said cheerfully.
"Fuck you." Chris growled as he took his mug from the rack.
"Would you like some toast?" the toaster asked.
"Fuck you." Chris growled again as he started fill his mug.
"Or maybe a bagel? Or perhaps an English muffin?" the toaster asked.
Chris's growl went from irritated and homicidal to enraged and genocidal, and Andrew could have sworn his partners eyes glowed red as he turned towards the offending kitchen appliance.
"Ah, why don't you let Chris get some caffeine in his system before you ask him that?" Andrew suggested, hoping to head off the looming argument. The last time Chris and the toaster had gone at it, the kitchen and a couple of load bearing walls had been severely damaged.
"Alright..." the toaster said in a defeated tone.
Chris snorted once, scratched the stubble on his cheeks, and sat down at the table with his coffee.
Bonnie woke up with a dry, scratchy, throat, a coat of fur on her tongue, the pleasant soreness she got from getting lain, and a soft warm body lying next to her.
Cracking open an eye, she immediately regretted it and grimaced as the sun stabbed through her eye and into her brain. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she clapped a hand over her eyes and tried again, this time shading them.
By doing this, she was able to adjust her eyes to the light and get a look at her surroundings. She was in her room, which had been put more or less back together, and Tara was the warm body snuggled up next to her.
A peek under the covers revealed that she and her girlfriend were both naked, which confirmed for her the 'got laid' feeling. As she looked around the room again, Bonnie noticed a black bikini top draped over the vanity mirror, and what looked like it's bottom draped over the foot board.
"Okay... just what did we do last night?" thought Bonnie as she glanced at Tara. "I know that it's almost Spring Break, but Colorado is a little too cold for that this time of year-"
Bonnie's train of thought immediately derailed as what had happened over the last forty eight hours came back to her.
"..."Bonnie thought in a rush "...and then we got picked up by a flying saucer which was being flown by a bunch of alien Rastafarian's, we both got a massive contact high, and then we..."
Bonnie's eyes went wide as what she and Tara had did then, and then she blushed a deep, deep, red.
"Oh God..." she whispered. "I hope they didn't record that..."
"Whazzzat?" Tara asked, her voice half muffled by Bonnies shoulder.
"Tara!" Bonnie exclaimed. "You're awake."
"Nnnh...yeah." was Tara's response. Scrunching up her eyes against the daylight she lifted her head slightly. "Wha' time izzit?"
Bonnie lifted her head and looked over the pillow at the clock on her nightstand. "It's going on a quarter after eleven." she announced after reading the time.
"Ohh. "kay..." was Tara's response, which she then followed with a groan.
"You okay?" asked Bonnie.
"No." Tara answered. "Tummy hurts. Think I ate too much."
"I don't feel good either." Bonnie told her. "I think I'm gonna stay here for a while."
For several moments they lay there, enjoying the peaceful solitude of the empty house. Then Tara broke the silence.
"Bonnie?" she asked.
"I think I'm gonna throw up..."
Once he had showered, dried himself off, put some clean clothes on, and had another cup of coffee, Ron felt immensely better thanks to the recuperative powers of a hot hot shower along with getting some action with his girlfriend.
"You ready?" Shego asked as she finished buttoning her shirt.
"Yeah." Ron said, scratching at a patch of dry skin on the back of his neck.
"Lets go then..." Shego said right before Ron's Kimmunicator sounded. "Oh, for the love of fuck, what does she want now?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.
"Don't know." Ron answered as he took his Kimmunicator out of his pocket. "You mind if I take this?" he asked, waggling the Kimmunicator.
"Go ahead." Shego said with a wave of her hand. "I'll be waiting in the kitchen."
Thumbing the talk button, Ron held up the Kimmunicator. "What's up, KP?" he asked.
"Ron, You got a minute?" Kim asked as she came onscreen. "I want to talk to you about the Dr Director sitch."
"Ahh..." Ron said and scratched the back of his head. "Can it wait a few minutes, Kim? Shego was about to take me home from her place."
"Oh." Kim said, surprised. "Sorry Ron. Call me when you get home."
"Sure thing, KP." Ron said, and broke the connection. "Shego, I'm ready." he called out as he headed into the living room.
"For the love of God, People, please tell me we got triangulation on Stoppable..." Terry Heath yelled.
"How about triangulation, GPS, and time stamp?" a tech asked, calling a window up on the room's wall screen showing the relevant data.
Terry gave an explosive sigh of relief and looked upwards. "Nikki, if I wasn't married, I'd kiss you." he told the tech.
"Aww..." Nikki said as Terry dialed Dr Director.
Wade sighed and buried his face in his hands.
"Okay. It's done." he said. "Global Justice knows."
"Good." the electronically distorted voice of Evans said over his computer.
"You happy now?" Wade asked suddenly, looking up at his computer. "Now that I've sold my two best friends down the river?"
Evans chuckled, in a way that Wade was sure was probably mirthless but thanks to the voice scrambling sounded flat and inhuman.
"Mr Load, you and your friends are way too useful to just throw away..." was Evans answer.
Wade felt a chill go down the back of his spine when Evans said that. When a man like the Sargent says something like that, it's never a good sign...
Bursting through the doors, Claire Redfield skidded to a stop in front of the dozens of Umbrella guards, their AK 47's leveled and aimed right at her.
Her heart was a brass drum pounding in her chest as she swept her gaze over the guards and the hopelessness of her situation. Thats when she happened to notice the two gas cylinders in the background, the ones with the explosion hazard markers on them, and all of a sudden, her situation didn't seem so bad at all.
Relaxing her stance, Claire made to look like she was giving up, and released her grip on her Hi-Power. She let it fall for one heartbeat, then threw herself down onto her back. The guards reacted, shifting their aim as they tried to reacquire her over their iron sights.
On her way down, Claire snatched her pistol out of midair and used muscle memory to aim. She fired twice, shooting between two of th guards and striking the gas cylinders right in the regulators, the 9mm hollowpoints rupturing them.
At that point, highly volatile gas under high pressure vented to the atmosphere, mixing with the oxygen before it hit the sparks thrown off by the ruptured regulators. The resulting explosion took out the guards, and Claire, lying prone on the floor and shielded by the bodies of the hapless guards, was unharmed.
She looked at the guards for a moment, then motion out of the corner of her eye made her whip her Browning around and she found herself holding a Hispanic man at gunpoint.
As she looked at the man over her sights, Claire realized two things. One, he was holding a Desert Eagle, and two, she was in slide lock.
"Hold it." the man growled as a most unlady like curse ricocheted through her mind.
End, Doppler Effect.
Author's note: And so ends Doppler Effect. Now, first of all, the story WILL continue. However, when I pick it back up, it will be taking place after the events in Code Impossible. If you want to know everything that happens Kim and Ron on Rockfort Island, go yell at IsrealBauman to finish it.
In the meantime, I'll working on a bunch of one shots, Bad Moon Rising, and a miniseries involving B3S's time in Raccoon City. Not to mention trying to keep these damn plot bunnies from overrunning my apartment.
That reminds me, anybody know a good shotgun load for plot bunnies? The damn thing's eat buckshot like cornflakes and I'm afraid to use slugs 'cause of my neighbors, so any advice would be welcome.